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  #41  
Old 05.06.2020, 08:28
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Re: Depressed and unsure who to tell

On a more serious note and backing some of what has already been said, you can join a local hiking or cooking with Alpine plants or bikers or swimmers...club, don't get hung up whether Expats or not, you will meet people this way. Just think what is your key passion and how best you could meet like-minded souls.
I am still searching for the Guardian-reading, Omnivore -World Cuisine-Cooking, Hiking-Yodelling-Scottish Society, but to no avail...don't give up!
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  #42  
Old 05.06.2020, 08:31
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Re: Depressed and unsure who to tell

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I am still searching for the Guardian-reading, Omnivore -World Cuisine-Cooking, Hiking-Yodelling-Scottish Society, but to no avail...don't give up!
...unconditional admiration for Trump would be a deal breaker I suppose.
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  #43  
Old 05.06.2020, 08:34
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Re: Depressed and unsure who to tell

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On a more serious note and backing some of what has already been said, you can join a local hiking or cooking with Alpine plants or bikers or swimmers...club, don't get hung up whether Expats or not, you will meet people this way. Just think what is your key passion and how best you could meet like-minded souls.
I am still searching for the Guardian-reading, Omnivore -World Cuisine-Cooking, Hiking-Yodelling-Scottish Society, but to no avail...don't give up!
Guardian? Nooooo...

I enjoy being in the local community clubs. They don't care what I read or what I eat or when is my next fasting day Sports, arts and music, the best combo.

Last edited by MusicChick; 05.06.2020 at 08:46.
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  #44  
Old 05.06.2020, 08:36
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Re: Depressed and unsure who to tell

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- Getting a pet. It's a big responsibility, but well worth it. You can make an animals life great and it will provide you with attention and affection.

- Exercising more. It's scientifically proven that spending time outdoors or in a gym will boost your well-being. It's cliche, but proven.

In more severe cases there have been breakthroughs about using Psilocybin to treat depression. It's proven to be way more effective than usual medications (that all come with major side-effects) but I don't know the legality and availability of LSD/K/shrooms in Switzerland..

Absolutely agree that spending time outside enjoying some of the beautiful Swiss scenery is a great morale booster and plenty of activities that OP can do. Trying something completely different, for example do a tandem paraglide and, if it is something OP enjoys, consider learning to paraglide with a school where you will find a great community of all nationalities. Sitting at launch for several hours waiting for the weather to turn is a great way to foster good relationships.

If OP is working all day I would caution against getting a pet, especially a dog, as it is unfair to get one and then leave it home for many hours a day. A dog is for life and not just for now. There is also the question of whether OP is even allowed a pet where he is living


AS for recommending anything that OP should take to help for depression, just no!
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  #45  
Old 05.06.2020, 08:45
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Re: Depressed and unsure who to tell

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Trying something completely different, for example do a tandem paraglide and, if it is something OP enjoys, consider learning to paraglide with a school where you will find a great community of all nationalities. Sitting at launch for several hours waiting for the weather to turn is a great way to foster good relationships.
I really like this. Or a local astronomy club, we get together in large, mixed groups - people are very sweet. Stargazing unites.
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  #46  
Old 05.06.2020, 09:24
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Re: Depressed and unsure who to tell

Still. Without any knowledge of his/her ( sex? ) age its difficult to make a statement.
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  #47  
Old 05.06.2020, 09:37
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Re: Depressed and unsure who to tell

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Absolutely agree that spending time outside enjoying some of the beautiful Swiss scenery is a great morale booster and plenty of activities that OP can do. Trying something completely different, for example do a tandem paraglide and, if it is something OP enjoys, consider learning to paraglide with a school where you will find a great community of all nationalities. Sitting at launch for several hours waiting for the weather to turn is a great way to foster good relationships.

If OP is working all day I would caution against getting a pet, especially a dog, as it is unfair to get one and then leave it home for many hours a day. A dog is for life and not just for now. There is also the question of whether OP is even allowed a pet where he is living


AS for recommending anything that OP should take to help for depression, just no!
I agree with many things in your post, especially on the "trying new things" part, but in my experience often times depression is highly misunderstood. When someone does have depression, telling them to get out more and try new things just doesn't work.

@Pancakes did write an excellent post here, imho and experience, OP should take up her advice.

This. Absolutely.

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You wrote that your German isn't very good. I know all too well how difficult it can be to learn a new language, but you might want to consider taking a German class (if you aren't already). I say that because I always found them to be a great way to meet new people and make new friends. Many of the people who are in those classes are also new to Switzerland and are also looking for friends here, etc. My first close friend here is a girl from "New Yawk" that I met in a German class.

That's good that you're having blood work done. I've had phases of depression a few times, and it ended up being due to low iron or low vitamin D. Also, make sure you get plenty of sleep. That makes a huge difference in our thought patterns and emotions (when we don't get decent sleep, our emotions become amplified).

Also, if you don't mind me making this suggestion... Be careful about using social media, because studies have found that using those sites easily causes depression (and anxiety), for various reasons.
https://www.healthline.com/health-ne...and-loneliness

With your job... If it's not the source of your depression or causing you stress, then I agree that it's probably best to do everything you can to try to ensure that you keep your job.

And one last thing... I'm not sure if this is something that might help you, but I'm reading a book right now on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which is really good.
https://www.amazon.com/Change-Your-T.../dp/0091906954
CBT basically teaches you how to recognize and change negative thinking patterns and therefore also your emotions (for example, one of the things the author points out is that thinking in terms of "should" is a common cause of depression). So it's like establishing a form of internal dialogue with yourself that helps you learn to control your thoughts rather than letting your thoughts control you.

Things will get better. Just try not to come down on yourself for feeling lonely or depressed. It's something that I think everyone deals with at some point in their lives. And if you ever find yourself in a dark place and just need someone to talk to, please do feel free to send me a private message.

All the best to you!
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  #48  
Old 05.06.2020, 09:42
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Re: Depressed and unsure who to tell

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Still. Without any knowledge of his/her ( sex? ) age its difficult to make a statement.
You don't have to make a statement for the OP. You can wish them well, it can be helpful too.
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  #49  
Old 05.06.2020, 11:58
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Re: Depressed and unsure who to tell

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Yes my mother always used to say " get married and make an honest man of yourself". Still trying to work that one out
It's good that you're still trying, omtatsat.

Keep it up.

In OP's case though, these old fashioned recommendations might no be the most useful things to say. I think OP's issues might be deeper than not having a spouse. Or a pet. etc.
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  #50  
Old 05.06.2020, 15:29
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Re: Depressed and unsure who to tell

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Today I took the step of talking to my doctor and they recommended a few things

- Some medication
- Counselling (but with 3 month wait time )
- that my doctor will tell my company/HR that I need to reduce my work time to 50%
These are pretty much the standard treatments the doctors suggest. I would suggest you take the counseling first and think hard before you go the route of medication. Of course I am not a doctor and do not know you and your case but I have had family members who were clinically depressed and were heavily medicated. Psychiatric medication affects people differently and it can be hard to find the right one for you. It can be a painful journey until you find something that works for you. Still, keep in mind that am not a doctor so take my advice with a grain of salt.

About the work time reduction: If the work is not causing your problems, I would think twice about this too. I also believe 50% reduction might be too much. At the moment work gets you out of bed and gives you structure. If you have nothing to get up for, your depression might get worse. You might start with 20% reduction and try to solve your problems in the free time you have. You don't have to explain the cause of the reduction to anyone, just tell your boss you have been written off and send the doctor's note directly to HR.

Last but not least, are you sure you are struggling because you are in Switzerland? Would you be better elsewhere, for example back home? Or maybe it is not the place you live but something else? I feel that middle age (40s) is a difficult time for most people and we struggle through this decade because we are taking count of where we are and the choice we have made, not to mention worry about what the future brings. I find counseling can help here but I am a bit skeptical about that too. You need to find a good therapist that understands you and offers you solutions other than one-size-fits-all ones.

Also, keep in mind, for some people depression is a phase that they will go through over and over again throughout their life. Have you had a phase like this before? How long was it? You need to recognize the signs and know that it will get better if you learn to manage these phases.

Good luck.
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  #51  
Old 05.06.2020, 16:22
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Re: Depressed and unsure who to tell

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You don't have to make a statement for the OP. You can wish them well, it can be helpful too.
Yes. Cheers mate and...........https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJUhlRoBL8M
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  #52  
Old 05.06.2020, 16:43
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Re: Depressed and unsure who to tell

Having visited the doctor is already a great, courageous first step! Congratulations on that

I have been in a similar situation as you when I first arrived in Switzerland. I would suggest that you first check out if there's any free counseling support programme provided by your company's HR department. I think this kind of programme is quite popular in CH? At least I've had such opportunities offered to me in all the companies I've worked in here in Switzerland. They aren't necessarily medically certified, but are certainly trained in social work/ counselling. Finding it out could be your first next step.

I was treated by a psychotherapist for 3 months and it really helped me. I also struggled whether I should go see a psychotherapist first or go straight to a psychiatrist, and I didn't really like the second idea as I didn't want to depend on medication. I remember that my psychotherapist told me all psychiatrists in CH have also passed years of training in psychotherapy as a mandatory requirement to getting their license. (please fact check as I'm not 100% sure) They should be able to make a better judgement for you on whether or not you should be on medication.

And last thing...remember to reach out and seek for help! You will find that many people around you will be more than willing to help If they don't understand or start judging unfairly, just move on to the next person. Certainly not everyone is heartless!
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  #53  
Old 08.06.2020, 21:42
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Re: Depressed and unsure who to tell

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Let's not turn someone's post about their depression into an argument, please.

We all have different opinions. And that's just the way it is and always will be.
If anyone on EF is looking for a good English speaking Psychiatrist recommendation in Zurich, then feel free to post or PM me. Can highly recommend my own.
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Old 08.06.2020, 22:07
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Re: Depressed and unsure who to tell

If you reduce $work to 50% - what are you going to do with the other 50%?
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Old 09.06.2020, 10:57
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Re: Depressed and unsure who to tell

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If you reduce $work to 50% - what are you going to do with the other 50%?
This.

I wanted to ask that too...if he or she doesn't have family or close friends here maybe it's not such a good idea if OP doesn't have any plans.
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  #56  
Old 11.06.2020, 13:35
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Re: Depressed and unsure who to tell

I am feeling better this week. But I know the problems arenít resolved. I will speak to someone once the doctor arranges it.

The doctor recommended I have this 50% reduction because I wasnít sleeping well. She thought it would help as I have been less productive due to the lack of sleep.

The language is a big issue because I want to integrate. Iím not so close to Zurich, so there isnít such a big expat community. But I also donít want to live in the expat bubble. I want to have Swiss friends and relationships and all that stuff.

I am having German classes but it really doesnít come easy to me. I didnít learn a foreign language at school, so itís quite the challenge.

For those wondering my gender. Iím a male and 29. Perhaps thatís part of the issue. The big 30 isnít far away.

I have made some goals and Iím planning and putting time into reaching them. I feel this has been a big contributor to my change in mood. So I will continue with that.

I am looking at clubs and other social things. I just hate the inevitable situation of everyone having to switch to English for my benefit. They have to make a special effort.

Anyway thanks for all the responses.
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Old 11.06.2020, 13:53
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Re: Depressed and unsure who to tell

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If anyone on EF is looking for a good English speaking Psychiatrist recommendation in Zurich, then feel free to post or PM me. Can highly recommend my own.
Same here in Basel.

Happy to hear you are doing better and getting the help you need OP. Be kind to yourself, you are stronger than you know. It isn't easy moving to a new country and starting over, especially on your own. It will get better slowly but surely. All the best!
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Old 11.06.2020, 13:56
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Re: Depressed and unsure who to tell

The language issue is not your fault, it is just how it is. Give it time to make swiss friends. They are notorious for being rather slow at opening up, but once a friend...
I found playing soccer (it could be any physical activity really) was a great way to pick up a "basic" swiss-german - only the mother-in-law did not always approve of the vocabulary.

Last edited by KiwiSteve; 11.06.2020 at 13:58. Reason: Non relevant comment
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Old 11.06.2020, 14:11
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Re: Depressed and unsure who to tell

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I am feeling better this week. But I know the problems aren’t resolved. I will speak to someone once the doctor arranges it.

The doctor recommended I have this 50% reduction because I wasn’t sleeping well. She thought it would help as I have been less productive due to the lack of sleep.

The language is a big issue because I want to integrate. I’m not so close to Zurich, so there isn’t such a big expat community. But I also don’t want to live in the expat bubble. I want to have Swiss friends and relationships and all that stuff.

I am having German classes but it really doesn’t come easy to me. I didn’t learn a foreign language at school, so it’s quite the challenge.

For those wondering my gender. I’m a male and 29. Perhaps that’s part of the issue. The big 30 isn’t far away.

I have made some goals and I’m planning and putting time into reaching them. I feel this has been a big contributor to my change in mood. So I will continue with that.

I am looking at clubs and other social things. I just hate the inevitable situation of everyone having to switch to English for my benefit. They have to make a special effort.

Anyway thanks for all the responses.
It's a shame that you automatically associate all expats with being in the "expat bubble", just as I found it sad with the guy earlier in the thread who said there are no meaningful interactions with expats. I have not only met many very cool expats over the years but have also met Swiss through my expat friends.

If you exclude expats from your social diet when you do not speak any German and find the language hard to learn then you will be lonelier than you need to be all and because of false pride and some illogical prejudice.

And stop being silly about your age... 29 is young and you have yet to hit your prime.
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Old 22.06.2020, 23:06
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Re: Depressed and unsure who to tell

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Hi all,

I have been in switzerland for a few years now, but the last 6 months or so I've really been struggling mentally. I live by myself, and as I get older I've become more unhappy.

Today I took the step of talking to my doctor and they recommended a few things

- Some medication
- Counselling (but with 3 month wait time )
- that my doctor will tell my company/HR that I need to reduce my work time to 50%

I'm not really sure about this last point. I have had an issue a few years ago where discussing with HR has caused a whole heap of problems that almost lost me my job. Plus with how things are with the economy, I imagine the company will be reorganising in the next 6 months. I would say I'm already the most disposable one in my team, I don't know that I should make myself more visible in this way.
I did not read all thread, only your post.

I am in a similar situation:
9 years in Switzerland and not really happy. Of course corona has an effect if you were already bored.

However, i advise you to take sometime to reflect top 5 priorities when you moved in, top5 priorities nowadays.

So i discovered easily the root cause of my situation:

In 2011 when i came i had poor financial situation, no foreign experience so i would repeat the same decision without hesitation.

However what changed? That is the important stuff you need to reflect for yourself.

For me (and only applicable for me) what changed?

Easy: I got rich . Seriously, i have no more financial problems and therefore my country always seemed in last 9 years to be much more human.

In that case, i really prefer to try again in my hometown

Of course what i mean is in Portugal we do not only consider whom only speaks Portuguese. That is a big advantage and a progress as society
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