Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Help & tips > Family matters/health  
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 24.11.2010, 14:54
Kamarate's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Neuchatel
Posts: 1,914
Groaned at 57 Times in 38 Posts
Thanked 1,619 Times in 685 Posts
Kamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond repute
Three months alone

Hello all,

I wasn't really sure where to put this, I suppose it's a sort of health matter. I saw my boyfriend off this morning at the train station. He's gone to Mexico for three months for research and I'm already feeling the pain of being apart. We were having a long-distance relationship until I moved here at the end of September, so you'd think I'd be used to it by now, but I'm not. I don't really know how to feel better and was wondering if anyone had been through something similar and could give me advice. I never found a way while I was living in the UK and he was living here, and that was when I was living with my parents. I absolutely hate being alone, and don't really know how I'm going to handle coming home to an empty house every day. I only have a couple of friends here, it's very difficult to make any more. I imagine some of you will find this post a bit pathetic, and to be honest I feel quite pathetic writing it, but I really struggle when I don't have company (especially someone as special as my other half, and he really is my other half). Any help would be appreciated, thank you all.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 24.11.2010, 15:02
economisto
 
Posts: n/a
Re: Three months alone

Quote:
View Post
Hello all,

I wasn't really sure where to put this, I suppose it's a sort of health matter. I saw my boyfriend off this morning at the train station. He's gone to Mexico for three months for research and I'm already feeling the pain of being apart. We were having a long-distance relationship until I moved here at the end of September, so you'd think I'd be used to it by now, but I'm not. I don't really know how to feel better and was wondering if anyone had been through something similar and could give me advice. I never found a way while I was living in the UK and he was living here, and that was when I was living with my parents. I absolutely hate being alone, and don't really know how I'm going to handle coming home to an empty house every day. I only have a couple of friends here, it's very difficult to make any more. I imagine some of you will find this post a bit pathetic, and to be honest I feel quite pathetic writing it, but I really struggle when I don't have company (especially someone as special as my other half, and he really is my other half). Any help would be appreciated, thank you all.
Get a cat.
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank for this useful post:
  #3  
Old 24.11.2010, 15:03
Kamarate's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Neuchatel
Posts: 1,914
Groaned at 57 Times in 38 Posts
Thanked 1,619 Times in 685 Posts
Kamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Three months alone

I wish - we're not allowed pets in my building.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 24.11.2010, 15:05
economisto
 
Posts: n/a
Re: Three months alone

Quote:
View Post
I wish - we're not allowed pets in my building.
get one anyway. An indoor cat like mine. A cat will keep you company.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 24.11.2010, 15:06
lisa_bsl's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Zurich
Posts: 114
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 42 Times in 21 Posts
lisa_bsl has earned some respectlisa_bsl has earned some respect
Re: Three months alone

I get its hard but seriously, use the opportunity to make some friends, start building your life up here in Switzerland, get involved with stuff that really interests you - he might be your other half but you are still a person in your own right!! You had a life before him, you will be fine for 3 months.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 24.11.2010, 15:10
Kamarate's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Neuchatel
Posts: 1,914
Groaned at 57 Times in 38 Posts
Thanked 1,619 Times in 685 Posts
Kamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Three months alone

I will hopefully be joining a concert band after Christmas (I don't have my horn with me... not sure I can bring it back here, but I can at least bring the mouthpiece and borrow a horn!). I'm hoping this will be a good way to meet people, but it's so hard to integrate in this area. I don't have any Swiss friends here, it's such a shame. It's not just about having friends, though. I find coming home to an empty house horribly depressing. I don't really know how to feel like I'm not alone in the place I should feel the most comfortable.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 24.11.2010, 15:18
fig's Avatar
fig fig is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: zurich
Posts: 33
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 15 Times in 12 Posts
fig has no particular reputation at present
Re: Three months alone

Hi,
I have been in same situation many times and currently too

Best is too get involved into fitness activities like joining Gym, joining dance classes.
Also can particiapate in jogging & walking groups in evening in zurich.
Watching movies, stuying for career making.

Also you can explot time in engaing yourfelf in cooking 8 making new dishes and enjoying it.

Regards,
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 24.11.2010, 15:30
Kamarate's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Neuchatel
Posts: 1,914
Groaned at 57 Times in 38 Posts
Thanked 1,619 Times in 685 Posts
Kamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Three months alone

I like the cooking idea, I love baking. I think things would be much easier if I were in Zurich, but unfortunately that isn't the case! I'm going to try and get my German back up to a decent level and start Italian at home to try and occupy myself in the evening. Thank you for all the suggestions, it's appreciated.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 24.11.2010, 15:36
grynch's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Geneva/Vaud
Posts: 4,945
Groaned at 50 Times in 46 Posts
Thanked 5,199 Times in 2,354 Posts
grynch has a reputation beyond reputegrynch has a reputation beyond reputegrynch has a reputation beyond reputegrynch has a reputation beyond reputegrynch has a reputation beyond reputegrynch has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Three months alone

Quote:
View Post
Hello all,

I saw my boyfriend off this morning at the train station. He's gone to Mexico for three months................... .

hmmm.... and I didn't know you could get to Mexico on the train.

mrs G and I ( before she was mrs. G ) did the long distance thing for 3 years.... all I can suggest is staying in touch by every means possible... phone, email , snail mail... I think especially snail mail.. in the day of E this and E that we sometimes forget the importance of seeing the persons actual handwriting..it's much more personal.


best of luck,
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank grynch for this useful post:
  #10  
Old 24.11.2010, 15:44
NYC-Basel's Avatar
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Basel
Posts: 19
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 7 Times in 5 Posts
NYC-Basel has no particular reputation at present
Re: Three months alone

Hi, this is a great time to make new friends...also, try salsa..lots of energy, great people, and the exercise is excellent! Also, keep in touch with Skype..
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 24.11.2010, 15:46
panda's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Zurich
Posts: 168
Groaned at 3 Times in 3 Posts
Thanked 90 Times in 57 Posts
panda is considered knowledgeablepanda is considered knowledgeablepanda is considered knowledgeable
Re: Three months alone

it won't solve the empty house problem, but why not come along to some of the social events that are on this forum, that way you will pass the time meet people and be less dependent on the other half in future
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 24.11.2010, 15:49
phdoofus's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: City by the Bay
Posts: 2,357
Groaned at 96 Times in 56 Posts
Thanked 3,205 Times in 1,227 Posts
phdoofus has a reputation beyond reputephdoofus has a reputation beyond reputephdoofus has a reputation beyond reputephdoofus has a reputation beyond reputephdoofus has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Three months alone

One of the great things about being alone is all the things you can do that you can't do before because you had to consider what the other person wanted. Push yourself out of your comfort zone and you'll be surprised about the fun you can have (FWIW, I went through some serious gf withdrawl when I went off to grad school)
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 24.11.2010, 15:50
sparky101's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Basel
Posts: 102
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 101 Times in 45 Posts
sparky101 has earned some respectsparky101 has earned some respect
Re: Three months alone

maybe try to get into a routine like coming home & skype/video call your boyfriend. That way you might not feel bad walking into an empty apartment if you know you'll get to chat even if it's just for a few minutes (because I guess he'll be in the middle of his workday). then by the time you get through your evening routine, like cooking dinner or whatever, you'll have settled a bit and it might take the sting out of being on your own.

Take up a hobby that keeps you busy for the nights when you are at home. Now is a good time for making Christmas cards
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 24.11.2010, 15:53
nic80's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Lausanne
Posts: 801
Groaned at 3 Times in 3 Posts
Thanked 1,292 Times in 422 Posts
nic80 has a reputation beyond reputenic80 has a reputation beyond reputenic80 has a reputation beyond reputenic80 has a reputation beyond reputenic80 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Three months alone

I can relate as my husband travels quite a bit for work and I hate the nights in an empty house. He's not been away for 3 months (thank goodness!).

On the first night I make it a habit of doing the things that I wouldn't normally do when he's home... pour myself a great glass (or 2 ) of red wine. Put some music on (the house doesn't feel as empty this way). Cook myself something delicious (or eat dessert for dinner). Have a warm bath with lots of bubbles. Wrap myself in a warm robe and either watch a movie I like but my husband would loathe or read a good book. I enjoy some 'me' time!

The second night... I ask a friend to go out for dinner/ movie with me or repeat the above

But there is so much you can do! Join a book club? Take yourself to the movies? Meet new people? Head out to a gig?

The worst thing you can do is sit at home alone feeling badly for yourself. If you are sitting at home alone... spoil yourself and make sure you're doing something you enjoy! Some nights it just sucks. Something will go wrong and you want to chat/ cry etc and the time difference means he's stuck in meetings or asleep. These are the times I remind myself I'm a big girl who managed to look after myself very well before I met him and I can still do so.

You'll be fine. Keep yourself busy and you'll be amazed how quickly 3 months will pass
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 24.11.2010, 15:59
The_Love_Doctor's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Zugerberg, Zug
Posts: 3,280
Groaned at 72 Times in 58 Posts
Thanked 3,729 Times in 1,753 Posts
The_Love_Doctor has a reputation beyond reputeThe_Love_Doctor has a reputation beyond reputeThe_Love_Doctor has a reputation beyond reputeThe_Love_Doctor has a reputation beyond reputeThe_Love_Doctor has a reputation beyond reputeThe_Love_Doctor has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Three months alone

Quote:
View Post
Three months alone...




sorry couldn't resist... but seriously get a grip!
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank The_Love_Doctor for this useful post:
This user groans at The_Love_Doctor for this post:
  #16  
Old 24.11.2010, 21:35
Kamarate's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Neuchatel
Posts: 1,914
Groaned at 57 Times in 38 Posts
Thanked 1,619 Times in 685 Posts
Kamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Three months alone

Thank you for all the suggestions and words of support (and for those who sent comforting PMs too). I would definitely go for this suggestion...

Quote:
View Post
Wrap myself in a warm robe and either watch a movie I like but my husband would loathe or read a good book. I enjoy some 'me' time!
... but I like really scary horrors... just not when I have to sleep alone!

Lovedoctor, the Quagmire post made me smile, but at the same time the reason I wasn't sure whether or not I should post this topic was because I thought I might get reactions like your "get a grip" comment afterwards. I realise that for some people, this doesn't seem like a problem at all, but for me it's horrible, and I feel really, really down. I know you didn't mean it in a nasty way at all, so I'm not offended, but it shows that people can be really, really different. Are you the kind of person who likes alone time? I'm definitely not!

Thanks to everyone again, I'm going to try out some of the suggestions, really get my head down and study German and Italian, and hope that these three months whizz by!
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 24.11.2010, 21:58
smackerjack's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: U.K/VAUD
Posts: 2,250
Groaned at 14 Times in 7 Posts
Thanked 2,699 Times in 1,113 Posts
smackerjack has a reputation beyond reputesmackerjack has a reputation beyond reputesmackerjack has a reputation beyond reputesmackerjack has a reputation beyond reputesmackerjack has a reputation beyond reputesmackerjack has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Three months alone

Plan your days ahead and use the time to take some cheap day trips to Bern or other near places - Neuchatel is on a really good train line.
if you really get down nip back to the UK and visit some friends & family. Neuchatel is a very young place and there seem to a lot of new people on the forum moving there.
Have you been to the Cafe du Cerf?
When I am next in Neuchatel I will let you know and maybe we can have a coffee or something....
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 24.11.2010, 22:46
Kamarate's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Neuchatel
Posts: 1,914
Groaned at 57 Times in 38 Posts
Thanked 1,619 Times in 685 Posts
Kamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond reputeKamarate has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Three months alone

Yes, I have been to the Cerf, and plan on going back as much as possible! Please do let me know when you plan on coming to Neuch next, I'd love to go for a coffee.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 24.11.2010, 23:20
10:30's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Basel
Posts: 472
Groaned at 5 Times in 4 Posts
Thanked 509 Times in 194 Posts
10:30 has a reputation beyond repute10:30 has a reputation beyond repute10:30 has a reputation beyond repute10:30 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Three months alone

Reply With Quote
The following 7 users would like to thank 10:30 for this useful post:
  #20  
Old 25.11.2010, 08:47
esto's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: CHE
Posts: 1,361
Groaned at 76 Times in 58 Posts
Thanked 3,225 Times in 1,406 Posts
esto has a reputation beyond reputeesto has a reputation beyond reputeesto has a reputation beyond reputeesto has a reputation beyond reputeesto has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Three months alone

Do you like Gilligans Island? When I was out of work, I'd just sit around in my underwear all day, eat Fruit Loops and watch Gilligan's Island. I wasn't even aware if anyone was around me or not.

Here you go, get started, you can thank me later:
http://www.amazon.de/Gilligans-Islan...0670716&sr=8-1

I think Fruit Loops can be had in Coop (if not, then try Migros). Have fun. I'll gaurantee you'll be so into Gilligan the Skipper too, the millionaire and his wife, the movie star the professor and Mary Ann...that you won't even notice your boyfriend when he walks in the door 3 months from now. High-five.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank esto for this useful post:
Reply




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Can I spend 3 months in CH on Tourist Visa after 3 months in DE on Tourist Visa? hopegrows Permits/visas/government 3 19.04.2010 16:49
It only took 12 months! Nelly_Da_Hefferlump Introductions 2 03.01.2009 12:39
9 Months Later... Big Man Jokes/funnies 1 28.07.2008 17:39
Homesick after 14 months swissdawn Daily life 10 08.10.2007 09:37


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 21:03.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0