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Old 11.04.2011, 13:13
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Re: Depression Sufferers

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The mother of an ex boyfriend of mine had clinical depression which was controlled by medication to correct the chemical imbalance in her brain. She had it for years (and still suffers, as far as I know).

No attention seeking as far as I could make out.

It's a medical condition as much as a broken leg or other "more visual" condition.

Stephen Fry is a high profile sufferer and has made documentaries about himself to bring awareness to the condition. Must be awful.
Good point. I miss this part when I wrote my questions. I didn't want to include the chemical imbalance which is a physical condition that make someone depressed or having an other psychological illness.

I was thinking more about someone who had a bad experience in his/her life and after tons of therapies, meds and supports still can't get over it, can't live his/her life.

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Well Nil, there are people that are attention seekers and you have it with many illnesses. I personally would not disclose the fact that I am taking antidepressants or I am feeling depressed, maybe it is just a silly SouthAmerican way of thinking but it would make me look weak. Of course there are people who need therapy and support for depression but I am sure there are also people that used it for the "oh poor me factor"
Difficult to see one from the other one. And when one questinoned it, it is automatically seen as being a jerk to be so insensitive.
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  #262  
Old 11.04.2011, 13:13
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Re: Depression Sufferers

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I have a question for you EF members.

Do you think, that some people, at some point use depression to get attention?
Yes. That could be true. Attention seeking may provide some relief for sufferers. Anything that reduces isolation may potentially help.

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Do you think that someone who gets medications, treatments and professional help since more than 10 years can stay in depression?
Yes. Depression can be a lifetime condition.

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Is it any point in time when someone who does everything to get better do actually gets better? I mean, with proper medications, help and assistance, it should be a matter of months maybe years but decades?
I don't believe that sufferers are ever totally cured, just as ex-smokers or ex-alcoholics are never completely cured. They will always be vulnerable.

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What would be the reason to not getting better? Could someone carry on this state because of habits? comfort? attention?
Yes. There can be a comfort zone within depression. It may be fear of the unknown: "How will I cope" etc.

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If someone does everthing necessary to get better, do you think it still can take so long in time to achieve?
This is like the "How long is a piece of string?" question. Everyone is different, and there are varying levels/types of depression. You could talk of days, weeks, months or years.
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  #263  
Old 11.04.2011, 13:16
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Re: Depression Sufferers

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I was thinking more about someone who had a bad experience in his/her life and after tons of therapies, meds and supports still can't get over it, can't live his/her life.

One can't have great expectations of recovery in these cases, really.
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  #264  
Old 11.04.2011, 13:17
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Re: Depression Sufferers

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This is like the "How long is a piece of string?" question. Everyone is different, and there are varying levels/types of depression. You could talk of days, weeks, months or years.
You are right, I got again confused in the way to ask my question.

Lets say someone is on meds and is well controled, lets say someone got all the therapies available and got every little tools available to deal with the depression, is there any reason left to not get better? (not sure if this question sounds clearer... )
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  #265  
Old 11.04.2011, 13:23
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Re: Depression Sufferers

Depression.....

I've been though that condition, and if I'm not careful I know I can go back there.

attention seeker....

I've been trying to get attention - as some friendly people told- on this forum, on glocals, right now.

Each post I write, each thing I do, is to get attention. I had the fear of being rejected and now that I'm back to a normal social life, I have the fear that people forget me.

and it's probably the same for people like me.
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  #266  
Old 11.04.2011, 13:41
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Re: Depression Sufferers

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I have a question for you EF members.

Do you think, that some people, at some point use depression to get attention? Yes

Do you think that someone who gets medications, treatments and professional help since more than 10 years can stay in depression? Only when they dont absolutely need to get out of it to survive

Is it any point in time when someone who does everything to get better do actually gets better? I mean, with proper medications, help and assistance, it should be a matter of months maybe years but decades?
Decades? No. Months or years maybe

What would be the reason to not getting better? Could someone carry on this state because of habits? comfort? attention? Why not? If thats what they want...

If someone does everthing necessary to get better, do you think it still can take so long in time to achieve? Nope

Nil
Thats my belief for most cases. Not all
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  #267  
Old 11.04.2011, 13:47
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Re: Depression Sufferers

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I was thinking more about someone who had a bad experience in his/her life and after tons of therapies, meds and supports still can't get over it, can't live his/her life.
There is a school of thought which suggests that in some circumstances - such as you describe - the depression itself can actually part of the survival mechanism of the history/experiences.
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  #268  
Old 11.04.2011, 13:50
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Re: Depression Sufferers

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There is a school of thought which suggests that in some circumstances - such as you describe - the depression itself can actually part of the survival mechanism of the history/experiences.
By staying on depression, by refusing to put the past behind you, you are protecting yourself against something new? Something potentially better?
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  #269  
Old 11.04.2011, 13:56
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Re: Depression Sufferers

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Depression.....

I've been though that condition, and if I'm not careful I know I can go back there.

attention seeker....

I've been trying to get attention - as some friendly people told- on this forum, on glocals, right now.

Each post I write, each thing I do, is to get attention. I had the fear of being rejected and now that I'm back to a normal social life, I have the fear that people forget me.

and it's probably the same for people like me.
Attention seeking is often taken as a negative situation as if the individual is deliberately planning this. This is not usually the case.

More often, it is a desire/need to avoid isolation and develop a sense of belonging. This is only natural. We all want to have a place in society with friends to share our lives.

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There is a school of thought which suggests that in some circumstances - such as you describe - the depression itself can actually part of the survival mechanism of the history/experiences.
I am sure this is true. It is very much a case of remaining in a comfort zone. It may not be good, but it is predictable and controllable.
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  #270  
Old 11.04.2011, 13:56
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Re: Depression Sufferers

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By staying on depression, by refusing to put the past behind you, you are protecting yourself against something new? Something potentially better?
Of course. You know what the situation is and you feel comfortable with it. Why should you go for something unknown even if it will be better for you on the long run
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  #271  
Old 11.04.2011, 14:00
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Re: Depression Sufferers

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There is a school of thought which suggests that in some circumstances - such as you describe - the depression itself can actually part of the survival mechanism of the history/experiences.
By staying on depression, by refusing to put the past behind you, you are protecting yourself against something new? Something potentially better?
One would be protecting oneself from potentially worse outcomes from the previous experience(s).

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I am sure this is true. It is very much a case of remaining in a comfort zone. It may not be good, but it is predictable and controllable.
Exactly.
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  #272  
Old 11.04.2011, 14:05
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Re: Depression Sufferers

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By staying on depression, by refusing to put the past behind you, you are protecting yourself against something new? Something potentially better?
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Of course. You know what the situation is and you feel comfortable with it. Why should you go for something unknown even if it will be better for you on the long run
Of course, it probably would be better. The mind may convince you otherwise, that it may be worse or lead to other problems.

In some cases the situation may get worse before it gets better.

Hypothetical situation:

A woman with two young children is suffering depression. She eventually realises that splitting with her partner is the best solution for her future. The two children love their father as much as her.

Does she leave her partner for her benefit, or stay for the sake of the children?

If the existing situation is tolerable, it may be very tempting to stay.
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  #273  
Old 11.04.2011, 14:09
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Re: Depression Sufferers

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Of course, it probably would be better. The mind may convince you otherwise, that it may be worse or lead to other problems.

In some cases the situation may get worse before it gets better.

Hypothetical situation:

A woman with two young children is suffering depression. She eventually realises that splitting with her partner is the best solution for her future. The two children love their father as much as her.

Does she leave her partner for her benefit, or stay for the sake of the children?

If the existing situation is tolerable, it may be very tempting to stay.
Exactly. Even if leaving will be better in the long run but difficult in the immediate future
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Old 11.04.2011, 14:09
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Re: Depression Sufferers

So being the witness of this, how should someone react? After such a long time, after so much support, help and listening, one can lost trust in someone's capacity and interest to get out of this situation....

The depression sufferer of my exemple lose people around, lose support and trust. Not because they are not interested but because they have just enough to not see any progress. Seeeing someone doing something but without really doing something.

It is like the person loves to go to therapies after therapies because it shows that he/she is doing something about it but doesn't hold on the informations and knowledge that brings those therapies. So it looks like the person is always hard working on the problem but not resolving it.

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  #275  
Old 11.04.2011, 14:13
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Re: Depression Sufferers

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So being the witness of this, how should someone react? After such a long time, after so much support, help and listening, one can lost trust in someone's capacity and interest to get out of this situation....

The depression sufferer of my exemple lose people around, lose support and trust. Not because they are not interested but because they have just enough to not see any progress. Seeeing someone doing something but without really doing something.

It is like the person loves to go to therapies after therapies because it shows that he/she is doing something about it but doesn't hold on the informations and knowledge that brings those therapies. So it looks like the person is always hard working on the problem but not resolving it.

Pm on the way
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Old 11.04.2011, 14:33
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Re: Depression Sufferers

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So being the witness of this, how should someone react? After such a long time, after so much support, help and listening, one can lost trust in someone's capacity and interest to get out of this situation....

The depression sufferer of my exemple lose people around, lose support and trust. Not because they are not interested but because they have just enough to not see any progress. Seeeing someone doing something but without really doing something.

It is like the person loves to go to therapies after therapies because it shows that he/she is doing something about it but doesn't hold on the informations and knowledge that brings those therapies. So it looks like the person is always hard working on the problem but not resolving it.

Medication, support and any other intervention may help. In the end they are only tools to help the situation.

Ultimately, the only person who can make the change is the individual suffering depression. There has to be an element of wanting to change. They probably cannot do this in isolation and require the support of others around them to do this.
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Old 11.04.2011, 14:38
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Re: Depression Sufferers

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So being the witness of this, how should someone react? After such a long time, after so much support, help and listening, one can lost trust in someone's capacity and interest to get out of this situation....

The depression sufferer of my exemple lose people around, lose support and trust. Not because they are not interested but because they have just enough to not see any progress. Seeeing someone doing something but without really doing something.

It is like the person loves to go to therapies after therapies because it shows that he/she is doing something about it but doesn't hold on the informations and knowledge that brings those therapies. So it looks like the person is always hard working on the problem but not resolving it.

Here's a question for you...

  • Suppose your friend was suffering from a physical, rather than a psychiatric, condition - for argument's sake, let's say they have a broken spine, and are wheelchair-bound. They gladly try treatment after treatment, therapy after therapy, in an effort to shed the chair, walk upright and have a "normal" life again.
Now, if all these efforts failed so far and your friend was still wheelchair-bound, yet was still trying for a cure, how would you feel about them?
Now run through the same scenario, but with "depression", instead of "broken spine".


How do your two answers compare? Is there is any significant divergence between them?
.
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  #278  
Old 11.04.2011, 15:52
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Re: Depression Sufferers

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By staying on depression, by refusing to put the past behind you, you are protecting yourself against something new? Something potentially better?
this statement is actually a bit disturbing, how could someone prefer to stay on depression. Perhaps because that person didn't go to the deepest of its depression ?

the attention seeker is also disturbing me quite a lot now.

I just created a picnic event and now I'm asking myself if I did it to get some more attention or because I just want to spend time with nice people ?

Aaargh. I think I will go to listen some music and empty my mind now...
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  #279  
Old 11.04.2011, 16:00
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Re: Depression Sufferers

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this statement is actually a bit disturbing, how could someone prefer to stay on depression. Perhaps because that person didn't go to the deepest of its depression ?

the attention seeker is also disturbing me quite a lot now.

I just created a picnic event and now I'm asking myself if I did it to get some more attention or because I just want to spend time with nice people ?

Aaargh. I think I will go to listen some music and empty my mind now...
See my earlier post regarding the comfort zone element of depression.

I don't see anything wrong in creating an event to meet up with friends.
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Old 11.04.2011, 16:33
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Re: Depression Sufferers

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Here's a question for you...

  • Suppose your friend was suffering from a physical, rather than a psychiatric, condition - for argument's sake, let's say they have a broken spine, and are wheelchair-bound. They gladly try treatment after treatment, therapy after therapy, in an effort to shed the chair, walk upright and have a "normal" life again.
Now, if all these efforts failed so far and your friend was still wheelchair-bound, yet was still trying for a cure, how would you feel about them?
Now run through the same scenario, but with "depression", instead of "broken spine".


How do your two answers compare? Is there is any significant divergence between them?
.
This is a good comparaison to start with. What about someone in a wheelchair who refuse to do anything to help himself but still complaining about his condition? How would you feel about him?

Physical or psychological pain is something very difficult to manage. It can take years of work and it doesn't mean it will be easy nor that it will be successful. In both case, someone can get out of it much bigger and stronger, some may find just enough energy to go out and about and some will fall into self-pityness.

How you deal with it depends a lot of how the person itself is dealing with it. To a certain point, someone has to start to think about it and decide when enough is enough (still on the situational depression not chemical depression, but in both case, you can find tools to help you out of it).

Some cases are very serious, no doubt about it and those people are in need of strong support from professional, friends ansd family members. But when someone begins to lose those support one after one and can't hold on the same long term support, what does it tells us? That all of those who walked away did it because they are selfish or because they were tired to support someone digging into his own self-pityness?


Edit: By the way, I am talking about a ''friend of mine'' who does comes out in a very dramatical way once in a while and drop bombs on people around her.
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