Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Help & tips > Family matters/health  
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 18.01.2011, 14:09
borntough's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Horgen
Posts: 231
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 135 Times in 72 Posts
borntough has earned the respect of manyborntough has earned the respect of manyborntough has earned the respect of many
Married but living apart and meeting on weekends etc.

The thought struck me ofter reading another post on couples living apart and meeting over weekends etc.

While this might be a short term situation, I am unable to get my head around this concept for married couples.

any thoughts?
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank borntough for this useful post:
  #2  
Old 18.01.2011, 14:10
lost_inbroad's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Town or region
Posts: 11,491
Groaned at 655 Times in 417 Posts
Thanked 16,388 Times in 6,379 Posts
lost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond reputelost_inbroad has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Married but living apart and meeting on weekends etc.

Quote:
View Post
The thought struck me ofter reading another post on couples living apart and meeting over weekends etc.

While this might be a short term situation, I am unable to get my head around this concept for married couples.

any thoughts?
Dude, Perfect Marriage!!
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank lost_inbroad for this useful post:
  #3  
Old 18.01.2011, 14:11
bigblue2's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Glarus
Posts: 8,082
Groaned at 484 Times in 403 Posts
Thanked 14,715 Times in 5,780 Posts
bigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond reputebigblue2 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Married but living apart and meeting on weekends etc.

did it when I first came here, was a killer, although the weekend where more fun
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 18.01.2011, 14:11
Lou's Avatar
Lou Lou is offline
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Zurich
Posts: 3,778
Groaned at 9 Times in 9 Posts
Thanked 3,227 Times in 1,474 Posts
Lou has a reputation beyond reputeLou has a reputation beyond reputeLou has a reputation beyond reputeLou has a reputation beyond reputeLou has a reputation beyond reputeLou has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Married but living apart and meeting on weekends etc.

Sometimes needs must & couples have no choice but to live apart for a while.
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank Lou for this useful post:
  #5  
Old 18.01.2011, 14:11
borntough's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Horgen
Posts: 231
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 135 Times in 72 Posts
borntough has earned the respect of manyborntough has earned the respect of manyborntough has earned the respect of many
Re: Married but living apart and meeting on weekends etc.

till dead do us apart..
hold on, we are now apart for something besides death.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 18.01.2011, 14:12
borntough's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Horgen
Posts: 231
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 135 Times in 72 Posts
borntough has earned the respect of manyborntough has earned the respect of manyborntough has earned the respect of many
Re: Married but living apart and meeting on weekends etc.

Quote:
View Post
Sometimes needs must & couples have no choice but to live apart for a while.
Agreed, but how much is a "while"?
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 18.01.2011, 14:15
Lou's Avatar
Lou Lou is offline
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Zurich
Posts: 3,778
Groaned at 9 Times in 9 Posts
Thanked 3,227 Times in 1,474 Posts
Lou has a reputation beyond reputeLou has a reputation beyond reputeLou has a reputation beyond reputeLou has a reputation beyond reputeLou has a reputation beyond reputeLou has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Married but living apart and meeting on weekends etc.

We did it for 2 years which was way too long. It was never planned to be that long but plans change and things like selling a house can take a long time; there is nothing you can do about it so you make the most of your weekends together.

Quote:
View Post
Agreed, but how much is a "while"?
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Lou for this useful post:
  #8  
Old 18.01.2011, 14:19
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: na
Posts: 11,248
Groaned at 37 Times in 33 Posts
Thanked 26,732 Times in 8,253 Posts
meloncollie has a reputation beyond reputemeloncollie has a reputation beyond reputemeloncollie has a reputation beyond reputemeloncollie has a reputation beyond reputemeloncollie has a reputation beyond reputemeloncollie has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Married but living apart and meeting on weekends etc.

Many couples do this.

Sometimes living apart is the only way to meet the responsibilities one has committed to while pursuing goals important to the whole family.

We've lived apart several times, for periods of a couple of months to a couple of years at a stretch. Still happily married 20+ years on...

Marriage isn't a one-size-fits-all thing. You do whatcha gotta do.
Reply With Quote
The following 9 users would like to thank meloncollie for this useful post:
  #9  
Old 18.01.2011, 14:26
summerrain's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Zürich
Posts: 4,350
Groaned at 4 Times in 4 Posts
Thanked 985 Times in 325 Posts
summerrain has a reputation beyond reputesummerrain has a reputation beyond reputesummerrain has a reputation beyond reputesummerrain has a reputation beyond reputesummerrain has a reputation beyond reputesummerrain has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Married but living apart and meeting on weekends etc.

As long as there is an "end goal/date" in mind - why not, if its necessary for work or other pressing commitments?

Trust me, there will be zero fights because the weekends are too precious squabbling over petty things.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank summerrain for this useful post:
  #10  
Old 18.01.2011, 14:32
MathNut's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Kt. Glarus
Posts: 4,417
Groaned at 34 Times in 32 Posts
Thanked 10,952 Times in 3,253 Posts
MathNut has a reputation beyond reputeMathNut has a reputation beyond reputeMathNut has a reputation beyond reputeMathNut has a reputation beyond reputeMathNut has a reputation beyond reputeMathNut has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Married but living apart and meeting on weekends etc.

My parents were very near doing that at one point. Would've been an 18-month stint, with Dad working on an oil rig in Saudi Arabia and Mom staying in the US. They both hated the thought, but at the time it looked the only way they could ever get their feet under them and save up for the down payment on a house. Fortunately something else intervened - but if it hadn't, that is what they would have done.

I must have been about eight years old at the time; I remember no arguing about it, just this terrible grey resignation that seeped into every daily interaction. We'd have done it though, all of us, if it had come to that.

When it comes down to it, people are mostly strong enough to do what needs doing.
__________________
Need help? Contact a mod.

Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank MathNut for this useful post:
  #11  
Old 18.01.2011, 14:33
Newbie
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Fehraltorf
Posts: 9
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 6 Times in 4 Posts
bourdeaux has no particular reputation at present
Re: Married but living apart and meeting on weekends etc.

We have done this twice during our 17 years together.

The first time we were living some 400 km away of each other, so it was easy to travel on weekends and it was probably for a little more than a year.

But the second time was when I moved here. This time was harder because the distance made it impossible to travel just for a weekend or a few days (some 11,000 km, and a 17-hour trip...). It was also for a longer period, more than 2 years. Now it is over, and we are still together! Not something I will recommend for new-weds, for sure... (at least if you wish to remain married, of course)
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 18.01.2011, 15:01
TheSpouse's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Saussignac, France
Posts: 1,701
Groaned at 26 Times in 20 Posts
Thanked 2,937 Times in 929 Posts
TheSpouse has a reputation beyond reputeTheSpouse has a reputation beyond reputeTheSpouse has a reputation beyond reputeTheSpouse has a reputation beyond reputeTheSpouse has a reputation beyond reputeTheSpouse has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Married but living apart and meeting on weekends etc.

Quote:
View Post
The thought struck me ofter reading another post on couples living apart and meeting over weekends etc.

While this might be a short term situation, I am unable to get my head around this concept for married couples.

any thoughts?
Bless your heart, you must be a "youngster", ha! For us ol' married folk, this is not a big deal. I did it for 2 years one time, with hubby commuting between Pennsylvania and South Carolina.

I do agree, however, that it would really be difficult for a couple with young children. By week's end, Mom would be exhausted and would probably throw the kids at Dad when he arrived home on Friday night, never to be seen again until Sunday evening!
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank TheSpouse for this useful post:
  #13  
Old 18.01.2011, 15:23
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Commugny Canton Vaud
Posts: 213
Groaned at 3 Times in 2 Posts
Thanked 119 Times in 69 Posts
mrshunkydorey is considered knowledgeablemrshunkydorey is considered knowledgeablemrshunkydorey is considered knowledgeable
Re: Married but living apart and meeting on weekends etc.

Quote:
View Post
The thought struck me ofter reading another post on couples living apart and meeting over weekends etc.

While this might be a short term situation, I am unable to get my head around this concept for married couples.

any thoughts?
I guess you have to do what is best for your family.

My husband moved to Singapore from the UK and I was due to follow on six months later whilst I waited for a school place for my daughter. My son was nine months old and my husband missed his first birthday. Having a baby and a 5 year was tough for me but I am certain it was tougher for my husband. After three months we made a decision for me to follow to Singapore three months earlier and keep my daughter off of school whilst we were still waiting for a place at the school. Those first three months in Singapore with no commitments were wonderful and I had such an adventure with the children during this time. We decided that time with Daddy was more important than keeping my daughter in school in the UK for those three months. Just before my son's second birthday he became ill and to cut a very long story short he had to have a major operation at Great Ormond Street Hospital and we were told that he would not be able to fly until four months after surgery. So again I found myself back in the UK with the children whilst my husband was working in Singapore. My husband came back for the operation but once my son was out of the woods he returned to Singapore to contine working. During this time I had my friends and family to support me, yes it was tough but it certainly took its toll on my husband! Thankfully we had Skype so we managed to keep in touch but the time difference made this difficult. My husband missed his 2nd birthday and again missed his 3rd birthday due to his annual hospital check up in the UK.

We also spent 6 weeks apart when we relocated here, this was easier due to the distance and being on a similar time zone but again was necessary. Absence definately makes the heart grow fonder but can take a strain. It is not something I would do from choice but my sons needs made it necessary. On a plus side it made me realise what a major influence my husband has on the children and also how much he helps me out!
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank mrshunkydorey for this useful post:
  #14  
Old 18.01.2011, 15:44
swisspea's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: From one side of lake Zurich t
Posts: 6,354
Groaned at 42 Times in 31 Posts
Thanked 6,448 Times in 2,964 Posts
swisspea has a reputation beyond reputeswisspea has a reputation beyond reputeswisspea has a reputation beyond reputeswisspea has a reputation beyond reputeswisspea has a reputation beyond reputeswisspea has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Married but living apart and meeting on weekends etc.

My FIL is a pilot. He flies long-haul. Two marriages been and gone...

Fidelity is a big pressure, jealousy and suspicion... I'm not sure if I could hold it together if it was a regular thing...for me it'd put a lot of pressure on my relationship I think...
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 18.01.2011, 15:51
Newbie
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Zurich
Posts: 9
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
keryn has no particular reputation at present
Re: Married but living apart and meeting on weekends etc.

It could make your marriage stronger in the end.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank keryn for this useful post:
  #16  
Old 18.01.2011, 15:53
jrspet's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Quaint Wädenswil, Zürich, CH
Posts: 8,131
Groaned at 27 Times in 20 Posts
Thanked 7,036 Times in 3,912 Posts
jrspet has a reputation beyond reputejrspet has a reputation beyond reputejrspet has a reputation beyond reputejrspet has a reputation beyond reputejrspet has a reputation beyond reputejrspet has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Married but living apart and meeting on weekends etc.

Quote:
View Post
My FIL is a pilot. He flies long-haul. Two marriages been and gone...

Fidelity is a big pressure, jealousy and suspicion...
Reminded me of the piloting couple on Great British Air on BBC's "Come Fly with Me"

Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 18.01.2011, 16:26
NotAllThere's Avatar
Modulo 2
 
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Baselland
Posts: 14,500
Groaned at 280 Times in 239 Posts
Thanked 21,738 Times in 8,818 Posts
NotAllThere has a reputation beyond reputeNotAllThere has a reputation beyond reputeNotAllThere has a reputation beyond reputeNotAllThere has a reputation beyond reputeNotAllThere has a reputation beyond reputeNotAllThere has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Married but living apart and meeting on weekends etc.

I never considered my weekly commute as living apart. I was simply working away from home. Overall, I think in the 20 years of our marriage, I've worked away from home, about 3 years. About a third of that was monday to friday. The rest were either short weeks, or I'd come home one night during the week.

We made the most of our weekends and holidays. Also, during the school holidays, we'd get a holiday home close to my work. I was never away from home during weekends.

It was either that or have no income. However, for the past 5 years, I've had a 20 minute commute. Which is nice.
__________________
Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 18.01.2011, 16:47
mannie organ's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: rudolfstetten AG
Posts: 716
Groaned at 4 Times in 4 Posts
Thanked 418 Times in 227 Posts
mannie organ has a reputation beyond reputemannie organ has a reputation beyond reputemannie organ has a reputation beyond reputemannie organ has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Married but living apart and meeting on weekends etc.

We have done this quite a lot. In the UK we would always see each other at weekends and then when Mr O got a job here sometimes we would not see each for 10 days. Yes its hard, but you've got to get on with it in order to survive.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 18.01.2011, 17:04
PaddyG's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Pensier, Fribourg
Posts: 9,243
Groaned at 118 Times in 102 Posts
Thanked 16,857 Times in 5,912 Posts
PaddyG has a reputation beyond reputePaddyG has a reputation beyond reputePaddyG has a reputation beyond reputePaddyG has a reputation beyond reputePaddyG has a reputation beyond reputePaddyG has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Married but living apart and meeting on weekends etc.

Quote:
View Post
Dude, Perfect Marriage!!
I disagree. Perfect marriage would be being together during the week, but the weekends apart.
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank PaddyG for this useful post:
  #20  
Old 18.01.2011, 18:00
borntough's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Horgen
Posts: 231
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 135 Times in 72 Posts
borntough has earned the respect of manyborntough has earned the respect of manyborntough has earned the respect of many
Re: Married but living apart and meeting on weekends etc.

I understand the complications of job, providing for the family etc. etc.
Back at home my dad worked in the services leading to being posted many times to some pretty bizzare areas. In fact, I got to meet him only for a few month a year.
But I, would like to be part of my better half's life. Agreed, I tend to spend long hours at work, may be weekends also some times but still the very fact that I get to spend a few minutes with my spouse brightens every cloudy day


Quote:
View Post
Bless your heart, you must be a "youngster", ha! For us ol' married folk, this is not a big deal. I did it for 2 years one time, with hubby commuting between Pennsylvania and South Carolina.

I do agree, however, that it would really be difficult for a couple with young children. By week's end, Mom would be exhausted and would probably throw the kids at Dad when he arrived home on Friday night, never to be seen again until Sunday evening!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
living apart, married




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
From living together to getting married. What changed? gata Family matters/health 59 05.11.2010 11:27
Getting Married in France -> Need a Certificate of not being married? MrChilli Family matters/health 6 14.07.2010 23:23
Weekends can be lonely.... velocolo Daily life 9 20.06.2010 20:42
Living in the US .. Looking to move to Switzerland! Married to a Swiss. Please Help. Nate.Fernandez Employment 40 17.09.2008 02:19
Outdoors weekends? bereng Sports / Fitness / Beauty / Wellness 2 11.11.2007 17:59


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 08:59.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0