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Old 25.01.2011, 11:45
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Dreaming your frustrations...

As hard as I am trying to forget and put aside a family issue that I had recently, it seems to not working.

During day time, I am doing great, I stopped thinking about it and I felt really relieved. With the happy ''I don't care'' feeling.

But apparently, I am not over it since I keep having all the frustrations coming back to me at night. I can't dream about anything else and wake up pissed off again. Every night, same kind of dreams, same kind of issues... So now, what I thought was behind me seems to be back full speed.

In real life, it is nothing I can do. I can't go to the person and tell her what I am trully thinking. So it means that no matter how much I will work on trying to deal with it and get over it, it will always comes back to me.

What can I do?

Please guys, I am looking for some helpful tips here. I am ready to a good laugh, but can we let it to an other thread and leave this one for real tips and advises? Thanks!

Nil
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Old 25.01.2011, 11:49
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Re: Dreaming your frustrations...

Have you forgiven the person (if you feel they've done something wrong towards you). If not, do that. Unforgiveness tends to only harm the victim, not the offender. Otherwise, write your concerns on a piece of paper. Then burn it.

If not of that works - see a shrink.
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Old 25.01.2011, 11:52
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Re: Dreaming your frustrations...

I assume this is the thing you mentioned on here with your mother?

If it is, try writing her a letter telling her exactly how she made you feel and what problems it has caused for you. Be brutally honest in this letter and really say what you would always want to say.

Then stick it in an envelope, rip it up and throw it away.

It might help for you, it did for me once with somebody who had wronged me.
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Old 25.01.2011, 12:07
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Re: Dreaming your frustrations...

I can only agree with Mimi1981. I used it, a friend used it and it's worked very well.

I personally burned the letter, asking that the universe take in charge the stuff.....
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Old 25.01.2011, 12:10
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Re: Dreaming your frustrations...

or simply unburden yourself on a close friend who is willing to listen...?
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Old 25.01.2011, 12:27
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Re: Dreaming your frustrations...

Nil remember that for some reason being pregnant appears to encourage very vivid and sometimes scary dreams.
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Old 25.01.2011, 12:31
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Re: Dreaming your frustrations...

Good luck,as these personal issues are always hard to 'bury'.

I agree with comments, writing your burden down, or typing it on yr pc. Take your time, and everytime a new thought comes up on the issue...then write more. Write until you have emptied yourself. then put that letter somewhere for yourself. in a year's time, or when time has passed, hopefully many things have changed for you what you wrote down. Sometimes not, but just the mere fact that you are trying to deal with it (and very bravely asking on the EF also about it)...by just sharing it, it allready helps.
I found that sometimes sharing something with a close friend, eventually THAT 'secret' defines our friendship. And I dont like that. Share it maybe with someone that does not know the other person involved, and then vow to maybe not rant/speak about it again unless you specifically bring it up yourself (if you have the need to get rid of feelings). That is also why I personally prefer writing to myself, making a poem...even if you cry, put your feelings out of you. It poison's the mind. take your time to get rid of this.

I have also tried in the past to tackle the bull by its horns, eg to confront a family member/close people. But I dont know...I have learnt that they then can just hurt back, and of course also have a different view/defending it. So...I always think that my issues is my issues...and I am the only one that can deal with them, and bury them. They do come up again, but then I go back to my letters and see how far I have allready come. Some things have changed, some not, but soem does not hurt/bother as much
I wish you luck.Its not easy.
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Old 25.01.2011, 12:31
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Re: Dreaming your frustrations...

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Nil remember that for some reason being pregnant appears to encourage very vivid and sometimes scary dreams.
I completely forgot that point I used to have very bizarre dreams when I was pregnant and anything bad that happened to me (even the slightest thing) would haunt me for ages.

Good point Lou
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Old 25.01.2011, 12:47
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Re: Dreaming your frustrations...

Dont worry about it. Its pregnancy hormones playing with your mind.

http://www.medicinenet.com/script/ma...ticlekey=52248
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Old 25.01.2011, 12:56
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Re: Dreaming your frustrations...

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I can only agree with Mimi1981. I used it, a friend used it and it's worked very well.

I personally burned the letter, asking that the universe take in charge the stuff.....
I tried it with my tax return. It didn't turn out well.

Do you have an available dog? (or borrow Teckla) They're quite a good audience while you let out your sorrows.
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Old 25.01.2011, 12:59
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Re: Dreaming your frustrations...

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I tried it with my tax return. It didn't turn out well.

Do you have an available dog? (or borrow Teckla) They're quite a good audience while you let out your sorrows.

Oi you! Nil said no jokes!
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Old 25.01.2011, 13:06
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Re: Dreaming your frustrations...

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Oi you! Nil said no jokes!
I added something (vaguely) relevant.
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Old 25.01.2011, 13:10
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Re: Dreaming your frustrations...

Thanks Guys!

Why those hormones don't make me dream of Matthew Morisson, Will Smith or Clooney?

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Old 25.01.2011, 13:13
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Re: Dreaming your frustrations...

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Thanks Guys!

Why those hormones don't make me dream of Matthew Morisson, Will Smith or Clooney?

Don't worry Nil, last night I dreamt I kept accidently knocking toddlers off a cliff and killing them ......and I'm not even pregnant!
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Old 25.01.2011, 13:21
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Re: Dreaming your frustrations...

I am not ready to forgive, I wouldn't make a good Christian I guess... For the writting down, I think it could help but that means facing all that stuff all over again and dive in it, which I have no energy for now.

I got the chance to talk about it all my soul but didn't help. I believed it did but the dreams are not agreeing with me. Apparently, trying to act like it is no problem doesn't help either.

So if someone has an idea how to make hormones switch my dreams to Matthew Morisson, I'll appreciate it...
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Old 25.01.2011, 13:23
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Re: Dreaming your frustrations...

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Don't worry Nil, last night I dreamt I kept accidently knocking toddlers off a cliff and killing them ......and I'm not even pregnant!
I think I'll pass on our idea to meet with the two girls for a playdate....
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Old 25.01.2011, 13:25
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Re: Dreaming your frustrations...

I'm having trouble sleeping due to worries that keep creeping into my dreams. Never had them before, but pregnant now. Never thought about it being connected! When I wake up disturbed from a dream, I write down what I remember and it helps me fall back to sleep.
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Old 25.01.2011, 13:25
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Re: Dreaming your frustrations...

Go for a good long walk and at the end of the walk just put the thought or image that is bothering you in an imaginary balloon and then watch it float away.

Everytime the thought comes back, just remember it floating away.
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Old 25.01.2011, 13:31
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Re: Dreaming your frustrations...

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So if someone has an idea how to make hormones switch my dreams to Matthew Morisson, I'll appreciate it...
Stick this to your ceiling:


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Old 25.01.2011, 13:31
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Re: Dreaming your frustrations...

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As hard as I am trying to forget and put aside a family issue that I had recently, it seems to not working.

During day time, I am doing great, I stopped thinking about it and I felt really relieved. With the happy ''I don't care'' feeling.

But apparently, I am not over it since I keep having all the frustrations coming back to me at night. I can't dream about anything else and wake up pissed off again. Every night, same kind of dreams, same kind of issues... So now, what I thought was behind me seems to be back full speed.

In real life, it is nothing I can do. I can't go to the person and tell her what I am trully thinking. So it means that no matter how much I will work on trying to deal with it and get over it, it will always comes back to me.

What can I do?

Please guys, I am looking for some helpful tips here. I am ready to a good laugh, but can we let it to an other thread and leave this one for real tips and advises? Thanks!

Nil
It is hard to give advice when we don't know who that person is. But if it is your mother, repeat to yourself that it was not your fault the way she behaved with you. A clear consciense goes a long way. Try not to confront her, it would only make the things worse, as I believe that she'll get all defensive and hurt you again. But you're not a coward for doing so, you only act wisely. Let it go, she (or who ever that person is) has own issues. Limit the contact you have with her, the less interaction you have, the better.
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