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Old 27.01.2011, 19:28
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Re: Cute kids = Spoiled

well,as she grows older , instead of geting away with being too cute ,other kids .grown ups might become jealous and end up bully her, especially if she's aware of it and epxloits the wrong way..

Anyways, when her little bro or sis comes along, she will not be the cutest anymore. She will learn the hard away that the attention from others will shift to the little one who will be far cuter .
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Old 27.01.2011, 19:35
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Re: Cute kids = Spoiled

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I call her little monster, Ti-cul, and Çirkin (which means ugly)
That makes me think of some female teachers who are extremely curt and rough with stunning teen girl students. While I understood the whole "that will give them a lesson" I never agreed. Kids are kids. Why go one way, treat the pretty ones better, or the other way, treat them worse..Some pretty kids are actually not full of themselves. Why be harsh just because we think some people will prioritize our kids' attractive looks...I think paying attention to this is assuming too much right now. Cmon, she is not even 2. All kids in that age know how to pull off a cute smile.

I think I have met an "ugly" tot maybe once. I had to look away since it really made me giggle, but anyways. I think we contribute a lot of our assumptions and fears, too early. Just let her live.

Moms mean well, but sometimes over do the controlling bit, out of panic. Being uber strict, at all times, could be unkind. And, shop people being all cuddly with customers' kids is just good customer service. Most daycare people prefer spunk and wit, instead of mini beauty paegant queen.

Makes me think about somebody who was so concerned with another aesthetic issue, her size of boobs...

If we give kids things to be interested in, with some substance, they won't care for looks. Until they hit puberty, and then, all of them are concerned with their looks. I think being sensitive pays off, not being too harsh. Have good priorities, set a good example, and even the most beautiful of girls will surely turn out to be ok. Why worry about random strangers, when it is parents who influence the most...

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Old 27.01.2011, 19:55
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Re: Cute kids = Spoiled

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That makes me think of some female teachers who are extremely curt and rough with stunning teen girl students. While I understood the whole "that will give them a lesson" I never agreed. Kids are kids. Why go one way, treat the pretty ones better, or the other way, treat them worse..Some pretty kids are actually not full of themselves. Why be harsh just because we think some people will prioritize our kids' attractive looks...I think paying attention to this is assuming too much right now. Cmon, she is not even 2. All kids in that age know how to pull off a cute smile.

I think I have met an "ugly" tot maybe once. I had to look away since it really made me giggle, but anyways. I think we contribute a lot of our assumptions and fears, too early. Just let her live.

Moms mean well, but sometimes over do the controlling bit, out of panic. Being uber strict, at all times, could be unkind. And, shop people being all cuddly with customers' kids is just good customer service. Most daycare people prefer spunk and wit, instead of mini paegan queen.

Makes me think about somebody who was so concerned with another aesthetic issue, her size of boobs...

If we give kids things to be interested in, with some substance, they won't care for looks. Until they hit puberty, and then, all of them are concerned with their looks. I think being sensitive pays off, not being too harsh. Have good priorities, set a good example, and even the most beautiful of girls will surely turn out to be ok. Why worry about random strangers, when it is parents who influence the most...

Maybe you should read my post from the beginning....
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Old 27.01.2011, 20:27
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Re: Cute kids = Spoiled

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Maybe you should read my post from the beginning....
I did, actually.

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Beside all of that, how do parents work out the way other people treat their kids?
My point was, you can't really do anything, just try your best raising her well (not havin' your boobs enlarged might make saying "beauty isn't everything"easier) . You aren't gonna jump in, say, "no, she shouldn't think too much of herself" in front of her when somebody is just being nice to her. I think you can't really control the reaction of others. It's like having a very attractive husband and saying to girls who pass by "shooooo...." all the time so they don't look. Just trust your child.

Last edited by MusicChick; 27.01.2011 at 21:15.
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  #65  
Old 27.01.2011, 21:00
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Re: Cute kids = Spoiled

hum... because honestly, the size of my boobs and the way I see the use of plastic surgery as a personal matter as nothing to do with how people treat kids differently depending of the way they look...

As much as plenty of parents don't like strangers giving sweets to kids for their cute eyes, many don't want to have to fight with those strangers about disciplining or not those kids based on their apparence.

For the nicknames:

In the middle-east, we have this cultural belief that to not bring the evil eyes under the form of jealousy, we try to not make a fuss about a baby being cute. So if someone says that a baby is cute, you'll have the people around going put put put over the baby and saying things like he is ugly. So the evil is going to stay away of the child. Same as saying Masallah with the put put put right after someone pass a compliment about having some chance, having something nice, being successful or being cute!

No kids got traumatised about it, none of them turn out psychologically damaged because of being called çirkin.
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Old 27.01.2011, 21:29
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Re: Cute kids = Spoiled

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I don't think any parents think their kids are not beautiful! We all think they are the best and the most extraordinary ones!

My father got the album with this on it for my mother as a present for one of their anniversaries.





Meanwhile, other people spoiling your darling isn't such a bad thing as long as she is also taught to appreciate the gifts (whether actual physical gifts or special treatment) she receives rather than feeling entitled to them.

2yo is an okay time (I think) for her to still be a bit oblivious to the need for saying "please" and "thank you" a bit but is also a great time to start learning it.

Meanwhile, maybe have a chat with the shopkeepers and the others who treat her like that and stress that you're wanting her to grow up to appreciate things... Rather than telling them not to give her stuff, allow them to offer but "make" them wait until she says "Yes, thank you" or similar when offered.
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  #67  
Old 27.01.2011, 21:37
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Re: Cute kids = Spoiled

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hum... because honestly, the size of my boobs and the way I see the use of plastic surgery as a personal matter as nothing to do with how people treat kids differently depending of the way they look...

As much as plenty of parents don't like strangers giving sweets to kids for their cute eyes, many don't want to have to fight with those strangers about disciplining or not those kids based on their apparence.

For the nicknames:

In the middle-east, we have this cultural belief that to not bring the evil eyes under the form of jealousy, we try to not make a fuss about a baby being cute. So if someone says that a baby is cute, you'll have the people around going put put put over the baby and saying things like he is ugly. So the evil is going to stay away of the child. Same as saying Masallah with the put put put right after someone pass a compliment about having some chance, having something nice, being successful or being cute!

No kids got traumatised about it, none of them turn out psychologically damaged because of being called çirkin.
Ok, so, you have your cultural rituals, other people have theirs. Some people get off by worshiping pretty cherubs, I bet no kids get traumatized by that, either. Maybe their parents?

I am just saying, if you want to explain in a plastic surgery thread your nicely called pro choice and how you might consider it (see, there are consequences of pro choice, sure...like your daughter asking why you have plastic titties when your attitude to her beauty is supposed to be strict discipline, beauty isn't all), that certain attitudes towards standard beauty being very important to you, obviously, then harping on people giving your kid a preferential treatment is a tad hypocritical. Let people have their free choice of who they are going to prioritize and why. Since, you can't influence it, really. Tough love does not have to work all the time, especially, when we adults have double standards.

I am not trying to raise your already elevated levels of nerves due to nightmares, watching dudes poop and pregnancy. You asked people to discuss, so we do...Don't flame people with dif opinions. I could wrap it up nicer, but I ain't too good at it. Plus I just ate too much.
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  #68  
Old 27.01.2011, 22:02
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Re: Cute kids = Spoiled

Cool opinion.
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Old 27.01.2011, 22:08
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Re: Cute kids = Spoiled

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Ok, so, you have your cultural rituals, other people have theirs. Some people get off by worshiping pretty cherubs, I bet no kids get traumatized by that, either. Maybe their parents?

I am just saying, if you want to explain in a plastic surgery thread your nicely called pro choice and how you might consider it (see, there are consequences of pro choice, sure...like your daughter asking why you have plastic titties when your attitude to her beauty is supposed to be strict discipline, beauty isn't all), that certain attitudes towards standard beauty being very important to you, obviously, then harping on people giving your kid a preferential treatment is a tad hypocritical. Let people have their free choice of who they are going to prioritize and why. Since, you can't influence it, really. Tough love does not have to work all the time, especially, when we adults have double standards.

I am not trying to raise your already elevated levels of nerves due to nightmares, watching dudes poop and pregnancy. You asked people to discuss, so we do...Don't flame people with dif opinions. I could wrap it up nicer, but I ain't too good at it. Plus I just ate too much.

I am sorry, but I see you have the need to bring the boob job into this thread. So since it seems so important for you, lets talk about it.

Being pro-choice doesn't stop you having an healthy attitude toward beauty. Now I don't get how you did this connection but let's keep it this way, because it seems that it does bother you a lot. I won't have to explain to my daughter about my ''plastic tities'' because I don't have ''plastic tities''.

I believe that you are the hypocrite here. Every single points you brings have nothing to do about this specific thread. More about something you have on your chest since a while...

Let me repeat this to you:

Cute kids = spoiled. I gave you an exemple. Apparently it did offend you that I said that my daughter gets special treatment because she is cute. Is she special? no. But should she get a better treatment because she is cute? no. Is is correct from the child carers at the daycare to give different treatment because of what kids look like? no. But still you feel the need to attack me on what some people are doing....

Now, about the giving opinion, I have no problem with that. But at least stay on topic and stop mixing stuff just to make it a personal attack.

It seems like you try really hard to make me look like a superficial mother who apparently believe looks is more important than anything else and will do plastic surgery while making her daughter feel ordinary as much as possible, bla bla bla...

I don't know what you are at but finishing your BS with a smile is certainly make it up for it!

Last edited by Nil; 27.01.2011 at 22:28.
  #70  
Old 27.01.2011, 22:09
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Re: Cute kids = Spoiled

Please Nil - get over yourself and allow others their opinions too.
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Old 27.01.2011, 22:11
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Re: Cute kids = Spoiled

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Please Nil - get over yourself and allow others their opinions too.
Plastic Tities are not on this thread.
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Old 27.01.2011, 22:18
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Re: Cute kids = Spoiled

Hey hey...time off, ladies!

Once I told my cousin that I adore her daughter because she's so cute! She seemed "outraged" for some reason and instead of feeling flattered or smth. she said "But ALL babies are cute!!", I calmly replied "Nope, that's not true". It's a fact, it's biology. Get over it.
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Old 27.01.2011, 22:30
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Re: Cute kids = Spoiled

ENOUGH already!! Nil has a good reason to worry and why shouldn't she say it on here when we have far dafter threads existing such as "bonus, good or bad" blah blah blah.

I understand her concern as I see my daughter behaving the same and I do not raise her with the thought that pretty is everything. I am far more proud of her language abilities, fine motor skills and good behaviour than anything her looks could ever bring her.

All Nil wants to know is how do you make sure your daughter keeps those values you hold dear when strangers seem to do the opposite.

Are all the ladies synching their premenstrual cycles? I've heard it happens in convents, maybe it's happening on EF?
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Old 27.01.2011, 22:36
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Re: Cute kids = Spoiled

But can someone really, I mean really say that she never took any advantages of her looks??? In our adult life, not as kids..c'mon. I'm not saying it's good or bad, it's not about morality here but about things we do without thinking..
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Old 27.01.2011, 22:41
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Re: Cute kids = Spoiled

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But can someone really, I mean really say that she never took any advantages of her looks??? In our adult life, not as kids..c'mon. I'm not saying it's good or bad, it's not about morality here but about things we do without thinking..
Of course, but it's not the foundation we want our kids to build upon. They have plenty of time for that with media influence and social acceptances. Tots are still innocent and need the basic self respect elements needed to build upon first before throwing them to the lion's den of appearance.
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Old 27.01.2011, 22:51
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Re: Cute kids = Spoiled

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Old 27.01.2011, 22:59
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Re: Cute kids = Spoiled

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the good looking students in high school are not the ones who were cute in primary. Puberty is so unfair.
Oh now that is totally true.

My brother was the cutest kid in the world at school - gorgeous auburn hair. Teenage years were not kind to him and at age 30 all his hair had fallen out and what few strands were left were white. But hey, he has a sense of humour!

Whereas I was a really ugly schoolkid up to teenager and look at me now - no seriously I was a very awkward teenager with puppy fat and greasy hair and spots. Confidence, aerobics and a good haircut does wonders for you in later life!
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Old 27.01.2011, 22:59
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Re: Cute kids = Spoiled

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I didn't know someone posted my daughter on the Internet! Now off to dust her tiara for tomorrow's beauty pageant
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Old 27.01.2011, 23:05
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Re: Cute kids = Spoiled

I found an article about some medical research made on this subject.

Here an other article about Attractive Kids excused for aggressive behaviours.

Quote:

"In school, when kids are the best-looking, it assures that their aggressive behaviour will be ignored; it almost inoculates them against losing their valued position in the group."


Quote:
"It speaks volumes about how we have to look at kids' behaviours versus their appearance," says Craig, co-founder of the anti-bullying coalition PrevNet. "We need to look at the leaders in our schools and ensure that their way to power is positive."

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Old 27.01.2011, 23:09
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Re: Cute kids = Spoiled

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Plastic Tities are not on this thread.
Well, now they are. Basta, hahaha...Quit thought-policing.

I do see the analogy, though. I linked it to another beauty thread you participated in a lot. It's not important, I could care less and expressed it in the other thread. While you say "..Being pro-choice doesn't stop you having an healthy attitude toward beauty" you went on why you should get them plastic boobies, a bit of an oxymoron. I am not sure what you trying to say that I have on my chest, but thank you very much, I like what's there. I think women are beautiful without some silicon stuffin. Kids are beautiful, all of them, aren't they. Maybe the fact you feel the urge to notice how cute your daughter is and the "unfairness" of the preferential treatment and post a thread about it says something about you, not about your kiddo, nor the folks who comment. People are verbal about how they like kids here.. I wonder why you immediately assume that the reason you kid gets treated better than other kids is her looks. The teacher in the kindy might want to reward something else that you think, too. Her skills, social ease, the fact you guys might speak another language and it's a new language for her, so a lot of work. The whole package, looks being just part of it.

We have kindy teachers pay a lot of attention to our child as well, it freaks me out a little since it is so clinical and different than home, but they pay this kind of attention I believe to all kids or maybe we just have good teachers. We have been strict with our little girl, maybe too much, she is so timid. She does get the usual "you are beautiful, because you are a girl" conditioning. But, I never thought kids being funny the way they are, that she would try to abuse her being cute, or pretty, or whatever. She is just a regular kid, like all the other ones.

They are way too small, really. Of course they try, cute smiles here and there, special way to giggle, prancing, etc. They all do. It's normal, as other posters said. I wouldn't panic since you will have gazillion of opportunities to show your child what is important. And I think you know it. I wouldn't make it a big deal, though, or you start making her conscious and actually give her that thought. But girls have their little tricks, little boys do too, how to get things they want, don't they.... I think we don't need to worry so much. It's what kids actually do with their looks that matters and if they are taught to pay attention to it (at home, mainly, since that what matters in my opinion the most).

I didn't get offended at all when you said your girl gets a preferential treatment, why would it offend anyone. Nor am I trying to personally attack, just merely have an opinion, you know I am an elephant in china, when it comes to being eloquent or pc, or stuff like that. Don't be too sensitive, it's fun to discuss these things. Here, some more

So, ok - no. I don't think cute kids, means automatically spoiled. Although, some parents evidently expect that.
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