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  #41  
Old 16.02.2011, 13:02
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Re: Family life or career? Whats more important to you?

We are at a similar crossroad discussing weather we should move to Asia or stay here. While I do not agree that this is so binary job vs. family in either of the cases, some comments:

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In 5 years the senior people in the company won't even remember, yet alone appreciate sacrifices you guys made...do what's right for you, now.
You are completely right, I made the experience first hand... but does "career" translate for all of you "work hard for one company till they appreciate you"? "Career" means for me in this case: If you have the work experience in the US on your CV you do something for yourselve as well... and you are moving to the place where the good jobs are at. Not to stay with your company, but to make a good career with whoever offers the best chance.
And to all of you who say that business in Switzerland is great: That, my friends depend heavily on the industry you are in. If you are in banking, it is the place to be. If you are in IT, it is less so. And if you are in IT that exports stuff - you are facing a very tough situation right now...

We have the same discussions going on and since we did not decide them for ourselves, I cannot really tell you what I'd do. But more likely than not I'd give it a shot and move.
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  #42  
Old 16.02.2011, 13:04
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Re: Family life or career? Whats more important to you?

It's a very emotional way of putting it, Family life or career?

The answer from most of us would be Family.

However judge your pros and cons practically.Avoid taking desicions based on emotions.
If you don't plan to stay in the US or Switzerland more than 5 years, then
1) does it make sense to make an intermediate move?
2) If it gives a boost to your husband's career by some international exposure. why not? especially if he will be paid the same.
3)So If you are planning to have a baby, moving sooner than later would be better and practical.
Each country/ place brings its beauty, its lifestyle.The more places you live in as an expat, the more confused you will be on where to settle down.
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Old 16.02.2011, 13:19
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Re: Family life or career? Whats more important to you?

Nobody chooses either career or family. Unless you are Nicola Tesla or something. If you have a family, you make do. If you have no family you are free to to do what you want.

Its seems to me that both your options are pretty decent. I can't see whether there would be any detriment to your husbands career or your family situation in either options. Good position to be in imo
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Old 16.02.2011, 13:38
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Re: Family life or career? Whats more important to you?

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For me, I haven't really had a chance to find out as I only have a career but no family myself (parents don't count ) ...... but one thing I wanted to add to this conversation, if it ain't feel absolutely the right thing to do, don't do it!

In my experience (although only about career moves), when it felt the right thing to do, I didn't bother thinking about other things. If I thought about the pros and cons of either sides to make a decision, I already knew it's not going to be a good one. Not sure if that helped, but that's how I go about things
i would disagree and say that most people fear change and feel insecure with it. when there is an option for change, i usually try to push for the change option.
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  #45  
Old 16.02.2011, 13:45
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Re: Family life or career? Whats more important to you?

My priority would be my family and security. For sure. I have a nice job, not huge career prospects, but as long as I can earn a good wage for me and my family, I'm happy. Between my wife and I, we earn a very comfortable salary.
Hell, if a promotion came knocking on the door within the same organisation, at the same location, I would be a fool not to consider it. However, we have close firnds, where the husband works all ours God sends and then comes home to work more on the PC. Yes, he would earn a fantastic wage, but what family life do they have?
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  #46  
Old 16.02.2011, 14:11
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Re: Family life or career? Whats more important to you?

we moved to swizterland to have a better family life and environement. 18 moths later, I can't accept the idea that I won't never been able to find a proper job. Yes we have a great family life, my husband is home every night but I have only become a mother here. As a couple, we have been able to go out twice in nearly 2 years. We have not time four ourselves so we 're not as close as b4..the routine here brings lots of conflicts and tensions. As a result, our life as a couple suffers ,and we are not as patient with our kids as we used to.. So we're moving again to Asia where hubby will be again away often absent and where I will be able to work again... it will be hard for the girls not to see their dady again as often but at least their parents will still be together and happy to see each other again.. we will do lots of things together at the weekend.
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  #47  
Old 16.02.2011, 14:21
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Re: Family life or career? Whats more important to you?

A lot of people fail to clearly understand the essentials. With marriage not being the successful institution that it once was I'd opt for a career as one can always try to balance work/life..however, if you have to make ends meet simply because you chose to nurture little Billy's every single step until he's 18...then I don't think that it's worth it. In addition, I firmly believe that being unmarried and childless enables you to focus on yourself and live a much happier life.
I mean, we've all seen those people pushing strollers at the grocerie store...the kid naggin, both have that miserable, depressed look on their face...they once were in love back in their 20s..now both have faded and the only thing that looks 20 years old is the beat up minivan with the semi peeled off "baby on board" sticker..and a little flag from a sports team hanging from the rear view mirror.
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  #48  
Old 16.02.2011, 14:24
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Re: Family life or career? Whats more important to you?

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A lot of people fail to clearly understand the essentials. With marriage not being the successful institution that it once was I'd opt for a career as one can always try to balance work/life..however, if you have to make ends meet simply because you chose to nurture little Billy's every single step until he's 18...then I don't think that it's worth it. In addition, I firmly believe that being unmarried and childless enables you to focus on yourself and live a much happier life.
I mean, we've all seen those people pushing strollers at the grocerie store...the kid naggin, both have that miserable, depressed look on their face...they once were in love back in their 20s..now both have faded and the only thing that looks 20 years old is the beat up minivan with the semi peeled off "baby on board" sticker..and a little flag from a sports team hanging from the rear view mirror.
I have a friend who had a similar attitude at one stage. I'm now Godfather to his 2nd daughter .
Don't knock it till you tried it.
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  #49  
Old 16.02.2011, 14:30
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Re: Family life or career? Whats more important to you?

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I have a friend who had a similar attitude at one stage. I'm now Godfather to his 2nd daughter .
Don't knock it till you tried it.
...I use protection whenever I knock.
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Old 16.02.2011, 14:33
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Re: Family life or career? Whats more important to you?

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...I use protection whenever I knock.
That's what Julian Assange said...
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Old 16.02.2011, 14:36
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Re: Family life or career? Whats more important to you?

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That's what Julian Assange said...
...but he's known to leak.

*Boom-Tish!*

Thank you, thank you....I'm here all week.
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  #52  
Old 16.02.2011, 14:42
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Re: Family life or career? Whats more important to you?

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A lot of people fail to clearly understand the essentials. With marriage not being the successful institution that it once was I'd opt for a career as one can always try to balance work/life..however, if you have to make ends meet simply because you chose to nurture little Billy's every single step until he's 18...then I don't think that it's worth it. In addition, I firmly believe that being unmarried and childless enables you to focus on yourself and live a much happier life.
I mean, we've all seen those people pushing strollers at the grocerie store...the kid naggin, both have that miserable, depressed look on their face...they once were in love back in their 20s..now both have faded and the only thing that looks 20 years old is the beat up minivan with the semi peeled off "baby on board" sticker..and a little flag from a sports team hanging from the rear view mirror.
Yes we've all seen those people pushing strollers at the grocerie store...the kid naggin, both have that miserable, depressed look on their face... but the ones without the kids/strollers look doubly miserable, sitting alone and sipping away coffee reading newspapers and focusing on themselves.

They can't live with a woman and they can't live without one. Life will always be crazy
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Old 16.02.2011, 14:45
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Re: Family life or career? Whats more important to you?

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Yes we've all seen those people pushing strollers at the grocerie store...the kid naggin, both have that miserable, depressed look on their face... but the ones without the kids/strollers look doubly miserable, sitting alone and sipping away coffee reading newspapers and focusing on themselves.
..keyword focused, pensive...deciding whether to head to the Madives or Bora Bora...or what interior the new Jag should be...
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  #54  
Old 16.02.2011, 14:46
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Re: Family life or career? Whats more important to you?

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... but the ones without the kids/strollers look doubly miserable, sitting alone and sipping away coffee reading newspapers and focusing on themselves.
WTF?

I was sitting in the sun by the lake with hubby last Saturday without a stroller, enjoying a cuppa. We were pretty damn happy.
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Old 16.02.2011, 14:49
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Re: Family life or career? Whats more important to you?

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WTF?

I was sitting in the sun by the lake with hubby last Saturday without a stroller, enjoying a cuppa. We were pretty damn happy.
I meant "singles" without kids /partner ..
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Old 16.02.2011, 14:50
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Re: Family life or career? Whats more important to you?

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I meant "singles" without kids /partner ..
I think you are digging a bigger hole for yourself.

Some people dont need kids or partners to be happy.
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Old 16.02.2011, 14:54
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Re: Family life or career? Whats more important to you?

Let's not have this thread turn into a "what's better, single vs non-singles, with or without-child, career or family-minded bashing"............. everyone's miserable at some stage in their life, all we see is just a glimpse of others. That doesn't make everyone always like this or that.
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Old 16.02.2011, 14:55
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Re: Family life or career? Whats more important to you?

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I think you are digging a bigger hole for yourself.

Some people dont need kids or partners to be happy.
agreed was trying to argue and support the people who push strollers!!

I haven't joined that gang yet!
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  #59  
Old 16.02.2011, 14:59
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Re: Family life or career? Whats more important to you?

I see a majority of couples happy with their children. I also remember my parents being miserable and me pushing all their button as a child.

I have enough common sense not to reproduce any more of me :P
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Old 16.02.2011, 15:00
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Re: Family life or career? Whats more important to you?

Career is more important. Family exists wherever it exists. It's not much of a family if it can't tolerate a move to California. If there's no money coming in and you can't give your kid some new shoes, it ain't much of life. Move to Silicon Valley IMO.
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