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  #41  
Old 12.03.2011, 23:48
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Re: Dealing with a temporarily disabled partner

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Single women, on here ?

interesting

Yeah, only problem is getting to know the dysfunctions before actually knowing the woman kills the romance. Especially in my case, now that I'm known to be a doormat.
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  #42  
Old 12.03.2011, 23:55
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Re: Dealing with a temporarily disabled partner

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Yeah it's more a personality than Swiss thing. It bugs me that he thinks he doesn't have to thank me because he's injured and it's normal that I help him. Or that he's sorry that I've had to work so hard; he says why should he apologise for something that's not his fault...

I'm not very good at playing games to get what I want, but it's never too late to learn!

<evil laugh>
It's not about playing games at all, actually, I don't have patience for that, it is about having your own life and having people realize you live within context, you have world around, you aren't stuck in a role...You ain't doormat. You are a kind soul. Now, go party. Hitchcock style!

I am jealous, girls, but there is no way of getting a sitter at this evil hour, hahaha, have fun!
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  #43  
Old 13.03.2011, 00:01
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Re: Dealing with a temporarily disabled partner

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No kids to consider? Only you can answer your own questions - bonne chance.
No, only the one perpetual kid on my hands.

Yes, I have to sort out my own life, but it's been nice getting both wake-up calls and support from everyone. I don't have a lot of people I feel comfortable talking to about this.

Thanks once again, lovely EFers! I've recovered my sense of humour about the whole thing.
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  #44  
Old 13.03.2011, 00:07
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Re: Dealing with a temporarily disabled partner

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I am jealous, girls, but there is no way of getting a sitter at this evil hour, hahaha, have fun!
Oh I can't get out the door tonight, I'm in my jammies !
So we certainly can wait till you're free MC (you ain't getting' out of it)
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  #45  
Old 13.03.2011, 00:19
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Re: Dealing with a temporarily disabled partner

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It's not about playing games at all, actually, I don't have patience for that, it is about having your own life and having people realize you live within context, you have world around, you aren't stuck in a role...You ain't doormat. You are a kind soul.
Yes, I was hasty in saying that, and of course you're right. That's something I really need to get better at, defending my context.
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  #46  
Old 13.03.2011, 00:22
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Re: Dealing with a temporarily disabled partner

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Yes, I was hasty in saying that, and of course you're right. That's something I really need to get better at, defending my context.
Sometimes it is easier to take care of others than oneself..
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  #47  
Old 13.03.2011, 00:24
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Re: Dealing with a temporarily disabled partner

And I'm trying to figure out the spoonerisms in the crossword.

And we would need the full Romandie posse for sure!

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Oh I can't get out the door tonight, I'm in my jammies !
So we certainly can wait till you're free MC (you ain't getting' out of it)
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  #48  
Old 13.03.2011, 00:31
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Re: Dealing with a temporarily disabled partner

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It's not about playing games at all, actually, I don't have patience for that, it is about having your own life and having people realize you live within context, you have world around, you aren't stuck in a role...You ain't doormat. You are a kind soul. Now, go party. Hitchcock style!

I am jealous, girls, but there is no way of getting a sitter at this evil hour, hahaha, have fun!

girlfriend, our young man has a bunkbed so we will have to plan a hitchcock-y night to support our klausanne...attack cats are under control...

if you need a breather, get your pants on and come up the hill for a glass...either way, make sure you take the time for yourself and things will get a bit clearer- its a lot of changes for you in a short while and these things get come to a head quickly like that...
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  #49  
Old 13.03.2011, 00:42
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Re: Dealing with a temporarily disabled partner

We need another get together, fo sho..

kslausanne, hang in there.

I am not sure what is worse, having a cry baby at home, or a person who would never even tell you there is something wrong with him so you are perpetually worried thinking he is on a verge of death.
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Old 13.03.2011, 00:47
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Re: Dealing with a temporarily disabled partner

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We need another get together, fo sho..

kslausanne, hang in there.

I am not sure what is worse, having a cry baby at home, or a person who would never even tell you there is something wrong with him so you are perpetually worried thinking he is on a verge of death.

sing it sista...but for me, i lose a bit of the attraction when a manbaby is around so i stick with a suckitup and keep going kinda guy- in the meantime, simple gratitude goes a helluva long way- it may be the sexiest thing around...
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  #51  
Old 13.03.2011, 00:48
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Re: Dealing with a temporarily disabled partner

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in the meantime, simple gratitude goes a helluva long way- it may be the sexiest thing around...
oh yeah.. definitely


oh.. and I think you would agree.. there's certainly place for any other girls who'd like to join us
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  #52  
Old 13.03.2011, 00:51
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Re: Dealing with a temporarily disabled partner

planning tbd send dates
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Old 13.03.2011, 01:34
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Re: Dealing with a temporarily disabled partner

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When I communicate my stress and exhaustion, he says that I'm mean and uncaring and that if I don't like helping him, I should leave. Is he right, am I a bad person for feeling like he is taking advantage of the situation?..


Why do you stay with him?
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Old 13.03.2011, 02:27
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Re: Dealing with a temporarily disabled partner

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I blame Swiss mothers! Is he Swiss?
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Why do you stay with him?
I think she share this thread with not to get her relationship questioned (not sure thats a word), but to get support and cheer her up, hopefully great advices too.
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  #55  
Old 13.03.2011, 02:29
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Re: Dealing with a temporarily disabled partner

I didnt mean to quote the -I blame swiss mothers part...
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Old 13.03.2011, 11:11
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Re: Dealing with a temporarily disabled partner

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The thing is that he thinks that not only must I do everything, I must do it with a smile and expect no thanks. I also must do everything he doesn't feel like doing, because he is 'disabled'.
I broke my foot very badly last summer, had two operations, and spent 6 months on crutches. I had my family and friends take on many of the tasks that I could no longer carry out and I felt really guilty. I tried to do all the things that I could to ease their burden but what I could manage was pretty limited.

Still, I put a chair in the laundry room and still did all the washing and ironing.

I am facing another operation and more time on crutches,and I am already dreading how dependent I will be on everyone even if it will only be for a few weeks.

I think you need to tell your husband how you feel. I don't know if your husband is in a lot of pain but I was and that tends to make one oblivious to the feelings of those around you. It is not an excuse, just an explanation.

The good news is that this is just temporary, hopefully he will make a full recovery and pamper you a bit to show his appreciation for all you have done. I am sure you deserve it.
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  #57  
Old 13.03.2011, 11:33
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Re: Dealing with a temporarily disabled partner

I feel for you.

I've been the semi-disabled one since the start of the year, and I see how tired it makes my husband. There's more stuff to do, but it's just the stress of it all. And especially if you're moving and have a lot of other crap to deal with. Yikes. I don't want to start a gender war here, but I wonder if women are more likely to be aware of the demands of being a caretaker.

We were supposed to move right about now, but we've decided to put that on hold till early next year - but we had a choice - you don't always have a choice with these things.

I mean, there are days when I can do everything, but there are also days when I'm basically sleeping a lot of the day. I still cook and do the laundry and pay the bills, but I've also learned to encourage my husband to rest too because it is stressful for him. I mean our whole life has been disrupted.

And I think that MC is right - sometimes it's easier to care for someone else than yourself. I wish I had some good advice, but I don't. I guess I'm just singing with the choir. Good luck, I hope he feels better soon and you can get back to normal. And you can get some rest.
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Old 13.03.2011, 12:55
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Re: Dealing with a temporarily disabled partner

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And I'm trying to figure out the spoonerisms in the crossword.
I hope you were able to perform some cunning stunts and didn't get too much in a mucking fuddle.
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