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  #41  
Old 11.04.2011, 16:31
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Re: Do you know who's looking after your kids?

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I care. Have you?

It may explain a certain attitude of mistrust.
No, I haven't.

Mistrust? Perhaps. I like to think that I'm careful. Afterall if I was mistrusting I wouldn't let me kids out of the house ever.

I've been in the education system long enough to witness various kinds of "mishandlings". From gym teachers who hang around the girl's changing room more than is necessary to nursery workers who hold children's arms just a little too roughly.
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  #42  
Old 11.04.2011, 16:45
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Re: Do you know who's looking after your kids?

I understand , but why to we have to go from the sublime to the ***** ridiculous. Look at discipline in school. We had it tough when I was a kid in the 50s, and some of the things that went on still make my hair stand on end. I won't say 'oh it did me no harm, blabla' - it was inexcusable. BUT as a teacher in the UK, I've seen it from the other end, and I can assure you it is the kids who suffer in the end. if you give a kid a detention because they have seriously misbehaved, you've talked to them, given them a chance, and still they go on- and the parents come in threatening to punch your lights out, or saying the kid does not have to do detention, because s/he's an angel and you (the teacher) a liar and been 'picking' on said angel. And a few years later you read they are in borstal, followed by prison.

I am absolutely convinced that kids suffer more in the long run of not having the opportunity to take risks (like walking on walls) or taking responsibility (like babysitting) or initiative (doing small jobs for neighbours, etc)- than from the perceived risks of peodophilia. And yet, I am fully aware that the few kids who are victims may well be damaged forever- so it must be taken very seriously. Whether 'normal' childhood has to come to an end for all kids because of it - I am not sure. I am not being flippant, just do not know. I have 35+ years experience in teaching, and parents around here trust me with their kids- and yes, if I have to answer the phone, go to the loo, or whatever, my OH comes and takes over for a while. And the parents around him trust him - and so they should.
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  #43  
Old 11.04.2011, 16:51
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Re: Do you know who's looking after your kids?

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No, I haven't.

Mistrust? Perhaps. I like to think that I'm careful. Afterall if I was mistrusting I wouldn't let me kids out of the house ever.

I've been in the education system long enough to witness various kinds of "mishandlings". From gym teachers who hang around the girl's changing room more than is necessary to nursery workers who hold children's arms just a little too roughly.

But these are people who have had all the checks that you believe ought to be in place.
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  #44  
Old 11.04.2011, 16:52
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Re: Do you know who's looking after your kids?

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I understand , but why to we have to go from the sublime to the ***** ridiculous. Look at discipline in school. We had it tough when I was a kid in the 50s, and some of the things that went on still make my hair stand on end. I won't say 'oh it did me no harm, blabla' - it was inexcusable. BUT as a teacher in the UK, I've seen it from the other end, and I can assure you it is the kids who suffer in the end. if you give a kid a detention because they have seriously misbehaved, you've talked to them, given them a chance, and still they go on- and the parents come in threatening to punch your lights out, or saying the kid does not have to do detention, because s/he's an angel and you (the teacher) a liar and been 'picking' on said angel. And a few years later you read they are in borstal, followed by prison.
I think this is a different problem but somehow linked - this is to do with kids not being given boundaries, consistency and structure in their life. Kids seem to thrive when they are given some structure and told when enough is enough and YOU MEAN IT. They don't like it but at least they know where they stand.

Probably there is a percentage of those kids that don't receive any discipline at home so don't have any idea how to react when they are disciplined by a teacher.

The parents then see any form of punishment from doing detention to being kept out of a football game, for example, as a form of child abuse because they, themselves are clueless when it comes to setting boundaries.
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  #45  
Old 11.04.2011, 17:12
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Re: Do you know who's looking after your kids?

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But these are people who have had all the checks that you believe ought to be in place.
Indeed. I also said:

"Nothing is foolproof but I'd kick myself if I didn't at least try to know what I could about my children's caregivers. "

and

"Then there are people who get the whole official work-up done but are not regularly reassessed. The thinking seems to be that no one commits acriminal acts after being hired (heh?!)"
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  #46  
Old 11.04.2011, 21:36
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Re: Do you know who's looking after your kids?

I can see the points made about trying to find out as much as you can about your childs carers. However, I do feel that people tend to trust their instincts about people here, something I think that may be slightly lost within all the paperwork and qualifications... Just because someone passed a CRB check, doesn't mean they're not an a**hole, and won't treat your children in a way that you wouldn't like. Anyway saying that, it couldn't hurt to have that check.

I leave my 10 month old in a garderie a couple of times per week, and I also volunteer at said garderie. I have no CRB or whatever, and I haven't had much experience with children, (other than my little one, and my partners nieces and nephews) but the manager of the garderie and many of the mums have said they think I'm great with the children. I'm so happy to have that experience, maybe something I couldn't have if they only let you in with papers.... The others that volunteer or work there are all great, but if someone joined, that I really didn't get a good feeling with, I would absolutely trust my instincts, CRB checked or not.
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  #47  
Old 14.04.2011, 13:33
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Re: Do you know who's looking after your kids?

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I can see the points made about trying to find out as much as you can about your childs carers. However, I do feel that people tend to trust their instincts about people here, something I think that may be slightly lost within all the paperwork and qualifications... Just because someone passed a CRB check, doesn't mean they're not an a**hole, and won't treat your children in a way that you wouldn't like. Anyway saying that, it couldn't hurt to have that check.

I leave my 10 month old in a garderie a couple of times per week, and I also volunteer at said garderie. I have no CRB or whatever, and I haven't had much experience with children, (other than my little one, and my partners nieces and nephews) but the manager of the garderie and many of the mums have said they think I'm great with the children. I'm so happy to have that experience, maybe something I couldn't have if they only let you in with papers.... The others that volunteer or work there are all great, but if someone joined, that I really didn't get a good feeling with, I would absolutely trust my instincts, CRB checked or not.

I agree with what you say, to a point. You can never 100% trust a paper trail. Instincts do play an important part obviously. However, saying that I would like to trust my own instincts if for example I was employing an au pair and someone coming to live with me. When you leave your child at a guarderie, you have to then trust someone else's instincts. The trouble is these vary from person to person. You may meet a lovely teacher when you visit the nursery/kindergarten and all may seem lovely. Then they recruit someone from the street using their instincts, no checks, no reference checks, and something goes wrong - what then?. We are not dealing with animals, but kids.

The other problem is that as is the case of the place where my friend has started, a lot of the other staff are friends of friends and children of friends, they are not using instinct there.

My friend has started now at the nursery, so far there is NO contract.
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  #48  
Old 14.04.2011, 14:41
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Re: Do you know who's looking after your kids?

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I agree with what you say, to a point. You can never 100% trust a paper trail. Instincts do play an important part obviously. However, saying that I would like to trust my own instincts if for example I was employing an au pair and someone coming to live with me. When you leave your child at a guarderie, you have to then trust someone else's instincts. The trouble is these vary from person to person. You may meet a lovely teacher when you visit the nursery/kindergarten and all may seem lovely. Then they recruit someone from the street using their instincts, no checks, no reference checks, and something goes wrong - what then?. We are not dealing with animals, but kids.

The other problem is that as is the case of the place where my friend has started, a lot of the other staff are friends of friends and children of friends, they are not using instinct there.

My friend has started now at the nursery, so far there is NO contract.
Is your friend knows you have a thread about her new job and her not having being checked for it?
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  #49  
Old 14.04.2011, 14:46
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Re: Do you know who's looking after your kids?

she doesn't use the forum, and i am not using any names of her or the nursery.

I am not threatening her or her job or the nursery. Just want to raise a question about employment processes of people who are employed to look after kids. Would your rather this question was not raised.
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Old 14.04.2011, 14:49
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Re: Do you know who's looking after your kids?

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she doesn't use the forum, and i am not using any names of her or the nursery.

I am not threatening her or her job or the nursery. Just want to raise a question about employment processes of people who are employed to look after kids. Would your rather this question was not raised.
It is a good question. But maybe your friend could have a problem with it if she comes accross the forum. Hopefully she won't. But even without a name, she could feel related to this situation.

She took the job, so I guess it isn't a problem for her?
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  #51  
Old 14.04.2011, 17:09
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Re: Do you know who's looking after your kids?

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My friend has started now at the nursery, so far there is NO contract.
Bit OT but....

Why would your friend work with no contract? Will she get paid?

Or will there be a new post soon on how to get paid for a job with no contract and where no papers where asked?

I find this is as much your friend's fault as the nursery...

K
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  #52  
Old 14.04.2011, 17:24
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Re: Do you know who's looking after your kids?

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Bit OT but....

Why would your friend work with no contract? Will she get paid?

Or will there be a new post soon on how to get paid for a job with no contract and where no papers where asked?

I find this is as much your friend's fault as the nursery...

K
Which is why I am a bit not comfortable to have a friend exposing an other friend on an internet forum...
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