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Old 10.05.2011, 11:15
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Re: How to complain to daycare?

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I can be kind of sure as we have had a "friendly" chat about the situation before. Her attitude was that it is normal behaviour for kids and they raise their son to stand up for himself
Wow! That makes sense.... As a child if someone steal a toy from him, he'll bite and scratch.

As an adult if someone look at him in the wrong way he will do what? Send him to the hospital?

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Old 10.05.2011, 11:23
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Re: How to complain to daycare?

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I can be kind of sure as we have had a "friendly" chat about the situation before. Her attitude was that it is normal behaviour for kids and they raise their son to stand up for himself
Ah but there are different ways of standing up for yourself.

It's one thing to teach your kid not to be a pushover and let the other kids take toys away from them.

It'a a totally different kettle of fish if you give the message that it's OK to scratch or bit to achieve this.

Unfortunately there are lots of parents in this world who don't see it this way.

It is perfectly possible to stand for yourself without resulting to violence. (and this includes 2 year olds)
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  #43  
Old 10.05.2011, 11:23
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Re: How to complain to daycare?

Think I'll take him a little present this afternoon:

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  #44  
Old 10.05.2011, 11:28
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Re: How to complain to daycare?

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Ah but there are different ways of standing up for yourself.

It's one thing to teach your kid not to be a pushover and let the other kids take toys away from them.

It'a a totally different kettle of fish if you give the message that it's OK to scratch or bit to achieve this.

Unfortunately there are lots of parents in this world who don't see it this way.

It is perfectly possible to stand for yourself without resulting to violence. (and this includes 2 year olds)
Couldn't have said it better myself.

My daughter ends up in a whole world of trouble if she even looks like she's going to bite or scratch. I will not tolerate violence from her at all and she is no stranger to the naughty step. However I do encourage her to stand up for herself and she has a very strong grip if you try and take something away from her that's hers
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Old 10.05.2011, 11:29
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Re: How to complain to daycare?

The only standing up for themselves they should do at that age is going and telling the teacher.
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Old 10.05.2011, 11:31
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Re: How to complain to daycare?

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The only standing up for themselves they should do at that age is going and telling the teacher.
Gosh, you must have been a popular kid.
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Old 10.05.2011, 11:32
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Re: How to complain to daycare?

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Gosh, you must have been a popular kid.
You remember how big I am right? Not many people tried to bully me
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Old 10.05.2011, 11:38
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Re: How to complain to daycare?

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You remember how big I am right? Not many people tried to bully me
And some just need to learn the hard way...(sorry for the hijack mimi)

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  #49  
Old 10.05.2011, 12:19
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Re: How to complain to daycare?

Does anyone know if there is a non-toxic* cream that I could apply to my daughter that would put off the biter? Kind of like the stuff you put on nails that tastes manky.

Just thinking that if I make her less appealing he might stop.

*for my daughter's sake and not biter's
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Old 10.05.2011, 12:26
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Re: How to complain to daycare?

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Does anyone know if there is a non-toxic* cream that I could apply to my daughter that would put off the biter? Kind of like the stuff you put on nails that tastes manky.

Just thinking that if I make her less appealing he might stop.

*for my daughter's sake and not biter's
Don't bathe her for a week. No-one will come to close to her then
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  #51  
Old 10.05.2011, 12:30
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Re: How to complain to daycare?

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Don't bathe her for a week. No-one will come to close to her then

I'm supposed to bathe her?
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Old 10.05.2011, 12:45
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Re: How to complain to daycare?

Mimi, how old is the boy in question?
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  #53  
Old 10.05.2011, 12:49
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Re: How to complain to daycare?

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This is the part I am struggling with the most Everytime I draft the email and read it back I realise that it is too emotional and not factual enough. As for dates of incidents, I can honestly say that it happens at least once a week and despite discussing it with them they have always taken the attitude of "these things are normal" and that somehow mini mimi has provoked it (by stealing a toy for example) and so deserves it
Dearest mimi, sorry to hear about mini mimi being terrorized. I think you should let the matter cool for a bit (not too long though) and then start writing, it always helps me. *big hug*
EDIT: oh darn I was late!
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Old 10.05.2011, 12:56
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Re: How to complain to daycare?

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Mimi, how old is the boy in question?
He'll be two in June or July I think.

Mini-mimi is two at the end of September.
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Old 10.05.2011, 13:06
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Re: How to complain to daycare?

At that age biting can be a normal phase, my oldest went through it when he knew what he wanted but could not yet verbalise any frustrations so any altercation with another kid ended up with his teeth in their arm. That is not to say that something should not be done about it. I had to work with my son's daycare to get him out of the habit; to get him to stop. We agreed on a plan of action & punishments each time he did it and after a short while he stopped. He had to be taught that what he was doing was wrong, he was never a bad kid he just had to be taught the appropriate reaction to a situation.

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He'll be two in June or July I think.

Mini-mimi is two at the end of September.
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Old 10.05.2011, 13:14
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Re: How to complain to daycare?

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At that age biting can be a normal phase, my oldest went through it when he knew what he wanted but could not yet verbalise any frustrations so any altercation with another kid ended up with his teeth in their arm. That is not to say that something should not be done about it. I had to work with my son's daycare to get him out of the habit; to get him to stop. We agreed on a plan of action & punishments each time he did it and after a short while he stopped. He had to be taught that what he was doing was wrong, he was never a bad kid he just had to be taught the appropriate reaction to a situation.

I'm sure the little boy in question is also not a bad kid really. I just can't stand the little blighter as I see he hurts my little one. She's a sweet girl and really doesn't deserve it

It doesn't seem that anything is being done to stop him biting at the moment. I don't know if he bites other kids or just mine as they won't discuss it with me at daycare.

Still waiting for reply to my email.........
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Old 10.05.2011, 13:20
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Re: How to complain to daycare?

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Still waiting for reply to my email.........
And as I hit "submit reply" the following email appears:

"Dear Mimi,

thank you for your email. I am really sorry to hear that this happened. (Manager) will talk to (assistant 1) and (assistant 2) today and I think we should schedule an appointment for this week together with you and (daughter)'s father. We are worried about the situation and we take your complaint very seriously.
I will come back to you as soon as (manager) spoke to (assistant 1) and (assistant 2).

Have a nice day and Kind Regards,
(other manager)"

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Old 10.05.2011, 13:20
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Re: How to complain to daycare?

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I can be kind of sure as we have had a "friendly" chat about the situation before. Her attitude was that it is normal behaviour for kids and they raise their son to stand up for himself
Standing up for himself does not mean resorting to violence!! Thats a lesson ALOT of boys/girls have to learn.

When my daughter was 2.5 years old, she started to hit other kids, and it took many discussions and reprimands until she stopped.
The problems started in Kindergarten, when she could not defend herself, and the teachers did very little to reprimand or discipline the children.

One the first day of Kindergarten, she came home with a red cheek, that remained red until the evening. After speaking to the teacher I realised that on her part little would be done, so i took the first opportunity to speak to the little bully myself, therafter he left her alone.

Though I think the OP's aggressor is too young to be just talked to.
I would suggest you speaking to his Mom, try your level best not to come across as an over protective Mom, and place emphasis on the Biting and scratching to be an on-going problem.

Unfortunately not all parents have the same discipline outlook as you or I do.

All the Best!
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Old 10.05.2011, 13:32
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Re: How to complain to daycare?

That is exactly the response you need, now you can work together to get this sorted.

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And as I hit "submit reply" the following email appears:

"Dear Mimi,

thank you for your email. I am really sorry to hear that this happened. (Manager) will talk to (assistant 1) and (assistant 2) today and I think we should schedule an appointment for this week together with you and (daughter)'s father. We are worried about the situation and we take your complaint very seriously.
I will come back to you as soon as (manager) spoke to (assistant 1) and (assistant 2).

Have a nice day and Kind Regards,
(other manager)"
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Old 10.05.2011, 13:33
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Re: How to complain to daycare?

I think to take edu system and values from back home and expect them here might be fruitless in these kinds of situation. Lot of parents actually encourage their kids to be rough since they think it will help their kids not become a pray to bullies later, it's astonishing. Kids really are rougher here than elsewhere, even with a teacher around.

I would wait for the school (might take a week even, or 10 days for the procedure to happen, an official sans parents meeting, then meeting with you). If they are evasive and won't help, I wouldn't hesitate and contact the office of day care placement, with a letter from a ped, copy of the letter to the day care and photos.

I would probably throw a sympathetic sentence or two to the boy's mom in the lockers if you see her, very casually, ie "Aw, must be rough to deal with some behavioral troubles like these, we had to officially complain, let's hope he gets out of this phase quickly, these kids are something else, aren't they", you know, the usual momma talk, and see if she puts more effort into curbing her kiddo's aggression.

ETA - just saw the reply, that's great, you got good daycare! I am sure you will sleep so much better now.
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