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Old 21.05.2011, 15:29
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friends husband threaten to go bankrupcy

My friend need helps. The husband is swiss and she is asian. And the husband doesnot want her to work but be at home with two kids. She barely speaks german. Now she wants to work because of financial reason and want to intergrate. This is the begining of trouble for her. He open a business with her name with money given to him by a relative because of his previous fallout business with a partner which landed him a Betriebung before they met and married. She did this because the husband would be better off and would be satisfy working for himself. Once when he was employed he was always complaining of this or that about his chefs. For 2 and half year now the business is yet to stand often letting them to leave on bank credits ...virtually just paying bills and leaving on family favours. She is tired of this life style. Now she has tried to convince the husband she need to go out working instead of waiting for the business and had also tried to advise him to look for a side job, another business to add or close it down). She thinks her going to work would be good so she can take care of her personal needs and to be able to go further in her german course to intergrate and help with the home and kids to go for extracurriculm activities like other kids( d last kid will will be kindergarten this year). Meanwhile she does everything while the husband just have this mentality her place is in the home with the kids. She feel isolated and physicological abused and then in a foreign land. She has tried to talk him to see family cousellors he would not listen. communication is broken down. Now she is afraid for her name and kids. He cannot take care of the kids. Now he is telling her if she leaves he will close the business and she will get a betreibung. That he will go for social aid and take care of the kids himself...while her name is ruined and she would have to work to pay back all debts.

Please sorry for any english error.

What can she do..I do not know what to tell her.
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Old 21.05.2011, 15:47
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Re: friends husband threaten to go bankrupcy

Sorry to hear of your friends situation and the hard time she's experiencing. This must also be affecting the children detrimentally as well.

The only advice I can offer is that if she hasn't already done so, she should consult a lawyer specializing in family law as soon as possible.

You are doing a great job being there for her as a friend, a shoulder to lean on and trusted confidant during this very hard time.

I do hope things work out for the good of all concerned in due course.
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Old 21.05.2011, 15:53
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Re: friends husband threaten to go bankrupcy

There are some good links that your friend may ( running through a translator or Google Chrome ) wish to consult:

http://frauenhaus-schweiz.ch/index.php?id=27


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Old 21.05.2011, 16:08
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Re: friends husband threaten to go bankrupcy

A dated thread, but nevertheless useful:

Where to go when you need help - links & contact numbers

She must understand that women are equal to their spouses and cannot be cowed, as frequently happens in Asia. She has to take charge of her life.
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Old 21.05.2011, 17:07
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Re: friends husband threaten to go bankrupcy

Thanks you all of you! I am so happy for the addresses and contacts. I am going to pass it on to her. Thanks once again.
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Old 21.05.2011, 17:27
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Re: friends husband threaten to go bankrupcy

Not Alone in Zurich - Women's stories and helpful networks

This will have some information your friend might find helpful.
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Old 21.05.2011, 17:35
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Re: friends husband threaten to go bankrupcy

I am so grateful to the founder of the EF. i actually believe that the EF is helping to change quality of life for the better for English- speaking foreigners in Switzerland. I honestly believe that had it been around when I was in Switzerland I may not have left. So a major thanks to the active caring contributors.
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Old 21.05.2011, 23:10
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Re: friends husband threaten to go bankrupcy

To the op. Frauenhaus is the place to go for your friend, ask her to call them and make an apointment, they are extremly caring for the woman and kids. If she doesnt speak german they for sure speak english, if also doesnt speak english they will make sure to get a translator in her motherthonge. Is important that she doesnt make any comment to him of where she is going. If she is going to leave him ask her to leave some clothes with a friend of hers that will pick up later (that could be you). Frauenhaus is a place where are womans suffering from violence psicologically but most of them phisically and the address is totally anonimous so she cannot mention what she will do, nor tell anyone the address (not even to you). They will contact the right people, she will have food and shelter, they will arrange sozialampt to take care of the bills of her stay and she can be with the kids there. Things to consider are: she will not be able to go back to her house until they arrange things so she must be prepared in advance before she goes, the kids will not going back to their schools or places where the father can find them to avoid "kidnaping".
I know someone who did it and had to prepare herself for one month or so, she was droping by a fried some clothes of her and her girl until she had all necessary to leave him.
Best luck for your friend, she must stay strong, making the first step is the hardest, but being out of that environment will be the best for her and her kids.
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Old 24.05.2011, 01:16
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Re: friends husband threaten to go bankrupcy

If your friend need another Asian woman to give advice (not able to help with personal presence as I'm not in CH yet) one who understands mixed marriages, tumultuous relationships etc...Please get her to PM me.

I'm happy to help in any way I can (resources, advice, etc).
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Old 24.05.2011, 02:42
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Re: friends husband threaten to go bankrupcy

Forum3, how is your friend doing? i hope all goes good for her and her kids, switzerland its a country that protect woman and she will be fine.
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Old 01.06.2011, 14:30
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Re: friends husband threaten to go bankrupcy

Update. My friend is with the frauenhause now. And also seeing a lawyer about the separation. Thanks for your advices. EF is a great resource for foreigners in Switzerland.
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Old 01.06.2011, 16:31
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Re: friends husband threaten to go bankrupcy

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Update. My friend is with the frauenhause now. And also seeing a lawyer about the separation. Thanks for your advices. EF is a great resource for foreigners in Switzerland.
Hopefully she will be out of the Frauenhaus and able tp enjoy her life again soon.

She may still need support though, some women just go from one abuser to another.
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