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  #21  
Old 20.06.2011, 00:29
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Re: Divorce distress

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HI POpart,

Thank you very much.She will not be moving to sweden i the near future thats for sure.she has not lived in sweden for 15 years,We only got married in Sweden.She has been very abusive to me beating me up and all.I dont have any cash to contact a lawyer since i have no money i have been a house husband.
First of all dont do anything against you because is something that will damage your kids for the rest of their life. You need all your strenght to fight for them.
Now, there is something called frauenhaus and I know there is also a Männerhäuser. If you know german or someone from the forum could help me google where is located please.
I can only speak about frauenhaus and you need to find out if they offer the same in men house, is an organization that helps woman suffering from domestic violence, phisical or psicological. You call, explain your situation and make an apointment. When you are going there, you bring your kids with you and i absolutely recomend you to bring all important papers and basic clothes. From the moment you are there, you receive advise, legal help, food and whatever you need to get trough this situation. All is paid first by an organization and after that they subscribe you to sozialampt and they check apointments, point you in the right direction etc.
Like I said all this I know about frauenhaus, you need to call the one for men and ask what is that one about.
This is the only link I found http://www.nzz.ch/nachrichten/politi...1.4078165.html

Hope all goes good. Ill have you and the kids in my prayers.
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  #22  
Old 20.06.2011, 08:52
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Re: Divorce distress

I got my divorce in Aus whilst still living in CH. It can be done. The OP should high-tail it to the Kreisburo and start screaming about his rights, and the fact that she's applying in another country. They may be able to intervene before the she applies, as apposed to being able to do bugger all about it after the act.
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I agree with Treverus. I don't believe that you can file for divorce in a country unless you live there. That's definitely the case with England.

Get a lawyer, get one quickly. Don't agree to or sign anything until you have spoken with one. These guys are good and very reasonable.
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Old 20.06.2011, 09:08
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Re: Divorce distress

As for jurisdiction, please note that OP notes wife works for an international organisaton. This implies that she has diplomatic immunity from swiss law, and the laws of her country could indeed apply. The law would apply differently than from the average expat family living in CH. Swiss law could also be relevant but depends on the nationality of the husband, which has still not been forthcoming, so difficult to say; and the length of the marriage and length of legal residence in CH, etc.

I would follow earlier recommendations and visit these lawyers who provide assistance to those in need at low or no cost, https://www.odageneve.ch/
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  #24  
Old 20.06.2011, 10:16
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Re: Divorce distress

Hi Everyone,

Thank you very much for all your advise i highly appreciate and i feel some kind of self relief.I a Tanzanian National.I know it will be an uphill battle but i will do anything to see my kids growing up.
  #25  
Old 20.06.2011, 10:17
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Re: Divorce distress

And of your kids ? What kind of travel document / nationality do they have ?
  #26  
Old 20.06.2011, 10:21
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Re: Divorce distress

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And of your kids ? What kind of travel document / nationality do they have ?
My kids have swedish passports.
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Old 20.06.2011, 10:23
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Re: Divorce distress

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As for jurisdiction, please note that OP notes wife works for an international organisaton. This implies that she has diplomatic immunity from swiss law, and the laws of her country could indeed apply. The law would apply differently than from the average expat family living in CH. Swiss law could also be relevant but depends on the nationality of the husband, which has still not been forthcoming, so difficult to say; and the length of the marriage and length of legal residence in CH, etc.

I would follow earlier recommendations and visit these lawyers who provide assistance to those in need at low or no cost, https://www.odageneve.ch/
We have been married for 5 years,I have been a permit Ci holder in switzerland for the same period.
  #28  
Old 20.06.2011, 10:27
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Re: Divorce distress

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My kids have swedish passports.
I've updated your public profile for you accordingly.



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Permit Ci ( non-EU )
The residence permit with gainful employment is intended for members of the families of intergovernmental organisations and for members of foreign representations. This concerns the spouses and children up to 25 years of age. The validity of the permit is limited to the duration of the main holder's function.
Source
  #29  
Old 20.06.2011, 10:36
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Re: Divorce distress

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Sorry to hear about your situation and would do my best to help (been there and know how hard it is):
  • First, Check the nearest social assistance center (Hospice General) to where you live, just to secure you exit of marriage.
  • Second, You should discuss with the hospice regarding the situation, most probably you'll be advised to contact either Centre Social Protestant or la Fondation Suisse du SSI or permanence juridique Genève
  • You can discuss with the lawyer issuing a demand to the Tribunal de premiere instant to proceed with the divorce under Swiss law as you're both residents here since 5 years and your kids born here (I assume your kids had Swiss nationality), this should somehow freeze the process in Sweden if not cancel it totally, the lawyer will advice you exactly what to do.
  • If you can prove you've been taking care f the kids as house husband and your wife is too busy with her career to take care of the kids, she will lose custody and you get kids + pension + rights to live in Switzerland
  • If your permit is due to renew soon, go ahead with your C permit ASAP.

These are few points you have to go through, otherwise you can really be in a bad situation, don't wait and start to act immediately, most of the services above are free or very minimum fees.

You can start to go ahead and let us know here to guide you through more options as the situation develops, just make sure you're discreet about internal details on the internet and on EF, you never know how evil a person can turn to win a case in courts.

Good Luck and always feel positive, it takes sometime but when it's done it's over with.
Thank you very much for the good advise.
  #30  
Old 20.06.2011, 10:40
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Re: Divorce distress

Why would you do that? I see heaps of profiles that have little or no info, I assume that's how the users like it to be.
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I've updated your public profile for you accordingly.
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  #31  
Old 20.06.2011, 10:48
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Re: Divorce distress

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Why would you do that? I see heaps of profiles that have little or no info, I assume that's how the users like it to be.
Or enforce it for all. I even got a post deleted by a mod recently because I dared to reveal in which city a user lives (!). (Our resident financial advisor lives in Alicante. Saying this openly seems to hurt his privacy.)
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Old 20.06.2011, 10:52
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Re: Divorce distress

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Or enforce it for all. I even got a post deleted by a mod recently because I dared to reveal in which city a user lives (!). (Our resident financial advisor lives in Alicante. Saying this openly seems to hurt his privacy.)
I do agree with some posters,I am in a very sensitive situation at the moment and anyone who knows my wife or myself can put 2and 2 together and deduce exactly who is posting.My privacy will be in ruins,Should i put my picture as well?
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  #33  
Old 20.06.2011, 10:57
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Re: Divorce distress

You can re-set your profile again via the control panel at the top of your page.
  #34  
Old 20.06.2011, 11:02
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Re: Divorce distress

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I do agree with some posters,I am in a very sensitive situation at the moment and anyone who knows my wife or myself can put 2and 2 together and deduce exactly who is posting.My privacy will be in ruins,Should i put my picture as well?
No, you should not post a picture, you should not post at all, but get serious and get professional help:

- get a lawyer, the links in this thread should help you to find some. Yes, they cost money, but this might very well be the best investment of your entire life. And the links provided already help you to find them possibly for free/low costs.

- to the city hall and talk to people there. I still don't think a Swiss authority would accept somebody running to another country to file divorce. I am sure it is legal, but only if both agree. Otherwise one could always pick the country with the most beneficial laws... and the Swiss laws AFAIK are in this case quite beneficial for you to get support from your soon-to-be ex.

- sorry if some people bang on the "who are you drum": It must sound very strange for you, but there have been people who make stories like yours up and laught about people getting worried and offering help. Sounds sick, but happens quite frequently here. So a new user nobody has ever met (we have a lot of real live events) posting a divorce story is usually welcomed with a bit of caution.
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Old 20.06.2011, 11:20
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Re: Divorce distress

First, you are in a world of trouble with no work history in Switzerland, Secound if you cant pay a advocat then your even in more trouble, But you can find free leagal help in geneva, The bread winner holds the power in family court,

advice try to find a job, Put the baby in daycare or even school, get your own independent life and pay taxes and then maybe you can fight for joint custody, this all should take one year, if your hungry for your kids, also this will give you some time of strength in family court, you have laywers who will help you for free in geneva,,
Good luck dont stress out the kids will always know whats going on, and later she will have to answer to the kids, why she messed up a family whole life, stay strong,, Yoga is free thanks to the internet , Peace and love always
  #36  
Old 20.06.2011, 11:26
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Re: Divorce distress

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First, you are in a world of trouble with no work history in Switzerland, Secound if you cant pay a advocat then your even in more trouble, But you can find free leagal help in geneva, The bread winner holds the power in family court,

advice try to find a job, Put the baby in daycare or even school, get your own independent life and pay taxes and then maybe you can fight for joint custody, this all should take one year, if your hungry for your kids, also this will give you some time of strength in family court, you have laywers who will help you for free in geneva,,
Good luck dont stress out the kids will always know whats going on, and later she will have to answer to the kids, why she messed up a family whole life, stay strong,, Yoga is free thanks to the internet , Peace and love always

That will be a very sad scenario,Considering my wife physically abuses myself and the children and that she will be granted custody just because she has the cash is crazy indeed.
  #37  
Old 20.06.2011, 11:29
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Re: Divorce distress

I am pilot with european pilots licence Boeing 737 800 i have tried looking for Jobs in switzerland but its not been coming through,I have a good job waiting if i go back to tanzania,However i have sacrificed all that to be with my children.
  #38  
Old 20.06.2011, 11:50
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Re: Divorce distress

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...Considering my wife physically abuses myself and the children...
Regardless of custody or divorce issues, the authorities must be informed.

As an adult, if you put up with being physically abused, that's one thing. If the children are being abused they must be protected immediately. Police or Männerhaus.
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  #39  
Old 20.06.2011, 12:03
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Re: Divorce distress

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I am pilot with european pilots licence Boeing 737 800 i have tried looking for Jobs in switzerland but its not been coming through,I have a good job waiting if i go back to tanzania,However i have sacrificed all that to be with my children.
Very cool having a dad for a pilot. You could try Ryan Air Basel. Get an interview in writing. Keep pressing. A job offer in writing scores more points still. Even if you don't take or want the job, a recent interview offer for anything, especially airline pilot will psychologically help motivate the lawyer, the courts, everything. If you get a strong act together it could change your wife's perception of you significantly. This might take a couple of years, you might not want her back then, but hopefully she will be a better, different person, who can make a positive input into the kids life as a mother.
  #40  
Old 20.06.2011, 12:33
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Re: Divorce distress

My Spidey Sense is tingling. Anyway ... you really think you can sort this out via an expat forum despite almost everyone telling you just to get a lawyer and providing links containing help?
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