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Old 26.08.2011, 10:11
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s.o.s Iam afraid and i dont know what to do!!!

For all concered,
As i am searcing to internet for help i found this site which helps women from others countries.
My name is Sofia and i am Greek married with greek too 3 years ago in greece with political wedding.
I have a daughter 3 years old.
i dont speak german and my english is not so perfect.
4 years ago-july 2007- i met my husband in Cyprus and my drama just starts!
He was telling me lies all the time, he hide things from me. The only things that i knew were that he was divorced , he had a child and that his ex wife lives in greece with ours daughter , he sent money and all was ok!
When i got pregnant , 6months later,all my life became a mess, he wanted to rush to leave cyprus before he was going to close him in to jail, he didnt pay the banks, he cheated some people and so 5 months pregnant we went greece to my parents.
In this part i would like to inform you that my parents are very traditional people and my father is alkohol addicted and because of him i left from my house because i afraid of him.
June 2008 we went to my family house with the reason that he will found a job, but i never believe what he was going to do.
First his divorce wasnt complete.
Second he has wrong identify , he was really born in 1979 but the identify wrote 1978.
After those he left for tubai with the thought of leaving me, when i understand that, i was going to get mad and from the other side my parents pushed me like where was he? what -are we -going to- do e-tc.
After of some negosiations he decided toget married me august 2008 and to go to live in germany , because his mother and him lived for 10 years in Schondorf.In Germany I lived a parody, we lived in a panshion in Rust-Europapark he isolated me and then started the threats from people from Cyprus and Greece , he was telling me that he was going to left me, and i had to live by myself with a new born child..
5 days after living the hospital when i get in to the house the fridge and cupboards were empty because of not having money, after a fight he kicked me with the new born child in my lap and threated me and he was tried to hit me with a mirror, then i screamed but nobody listen me and because of terrifying i stayed with him because i didnt have any other place to go .
The days passed everyday i prayed to god, i was going all by myself to supermarket to feed him and i was living a fake life.
July 2009 after of alot of fights i decide to go in Greece with the excuse of the Baptism of our child, i got a job because we didnt have money but he was decide for another time to left me and he started find job in new york.
After of alot fights he came to Greece we did the mystery and he started again the threats and he was trying to made the other believe that i was crazy and nothing of all that ia m saying were true.
My father drove me off the house and i started again of asking his help because i didn have any strengh to grow up my baby alone without any support.
November 2009 i went back to Germany - Lahr and he was trying to do things which they made me crazy, other women, no basics furnitures in house and when we were fighting i was screaming like a crazy and nobody of the neightbous help me , they treat me like a trash.Who knows what he was telling on them for me
No telephones, no mobile, no money and he was treating that if i called the police they could take from me my baby and they would close me to a psychiatric clinic.
Februar 2010 after of hit me and fights which caused damages-some of them i did and i scream polizei-polizei he decided to<< help me >> to leave Germany.
3 months i was amess i feel that i didnt love my baby, i wanted to kill myself, my parents wanted again to drove me off, my father threating me etc.
May 2010 i got a job, in while , he stayed in Germany in another town and he called me at my parents house and he was trying to fix the things- like i love you, you have right for everything, come to live together as a family etc.
june 2010 he came to Greece to ask forgiveness and my parents promised him that i will come back.
July 2010 got in Zurich he started job and he was fool me again that he changed , the city calmed him, we can do a new start , better level of living , that he will respect me, i could find ajob only with my english, after i learn german and others things.
From those days i was dreaming that my life is goin to change, my parents were convinced that everything will be perfect .
I didnt take any decision,
Februar 2011 my Director spoked me with words with bad meaning und underesteamed me and i felt like a nothing. The Law in Greece does not support the worker's right so i quit from my job.
April 2011 i followed him in Switzerland in a apartement in Glattfelden , isolated without furnitures and he was expect from me to buy everything here with my savings.
The problems starts again, he succeedeed to make me nervous, to destroy all my hopes of a better life.
He dont care for the family, he is telling me things to make me crazy, he threats me everyday tha i lose my baby, other times he tells me: - crush and get out from here go to your parents to live better!
The decisions for family affairs are taken from others and he never tells me what his plans.
Monday 22/8/11 we fight again because of not inform me for anything, i understand that we have no money again, the car is broken and according to him we had to pay over of 1500.00 chf, oh!my God everything turned to my head he was trying to hit me and i start to attack him, the result he speaks in telephone with a lawyer and prepair his suitcase my world destroyed i start yell, hit him, crying and he threat me that he call the police.
The police came but i scared so much i didnt know what i have to tell - i thought that i lose my baby-they see my papers and they left.
Pleace if somebody wants to help me i would appreciate. i learn for my mother because i threat him if you leave that house i will throw all his papers and i did it after the police l;eft that he made me to regret the day that i born!
That i never imagine what i am going to live from now on!
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Old 26.08.2011, 10:23
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Re: s.o.s Iam afraid and i dont know what to do!!!

Not sure I understood the situation.

There's information on this link: Where to go when you need help - links & contact numbers

Go to a Frauenhaus (Women’s Safe Houses in Switzerland), they will be able to help much better than EF.

Call your parents/family back home, ask for help and get out. First priority is for yours & your child's physical well-being.

Oh, & good luck...

Last edited by Carlos R; 26.08.2011 at 10:34.
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Old 26.08.2011, 10:28
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Re: s.o.s Iam afraid and i dont know what to do!!!

Not Alone in Zurich - Women's stories and helpful networks

See here. Good luck
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Old 26.08.2011, 10:30
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Re: s.o.s Iam afraid and i dont know what to do!!!

how does a greek who speaks little english even find EF when looking for relationship advice sites??

Last edited by bigblue2; 26.08.2011 at 11:06.
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Old 26.08.2011, 10:32
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Re: s.o.s Iam afraid and i dont know what to do!!!

From what I've read, it seems you are both at fault, both violent and threatening. This doesn't change the fact that you have to look after yourself and your child. Nothing seems to be mproving so use the links mentioned to get out now. Best of luck.
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Old 26.08.2011, 10:32
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Re: s.o.s Iam afraid and i dont know what to do!!!

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how does a greek who speaks little english even find EF when looking for relationship advise sites??
Most of the world uses google in English.
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Old 26.08.2011, 10:33
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Re: s.o.s Iam afraid and i dont know what to do!!!

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Most of the world uses google in English.

except the zurich police
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Old 26.08.2011, 10:47
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Re: s.o.s Iam afraid and i dont know what to do!!!

thank you a lot for that. i appreciate for the direct answer. about my english i took first certificate in english 1997, but i never use the language for such specially reason . I became violent too to protect myself and my baby.
My husband has the gift to changes the truth.
My parents do not want to help me
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Old 26.08.2011, 10:50
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Re: s.o.s Iam afraid and i dont know what to do!!!

Bloody hell! I've gone cross-eyed trying to read that
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Old 26.08.2011, 10:52
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Re: s.o.s Iam afraid and i dont know what to do!!!

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thank you a lot for that. i appreciate for the direct answer. about my english i took first certificate in english 1997, but i never use the language for such specially reason . I became violent too to protect myself and my baby.
My husband has the gift to changes the truth.
My parents do not want to help me

The best way to protect your baby is to get as far away from your husband as possible. This relationship sounds completely destructive and that would be an awful environment for a child to grow up in.

Please seek some help from the links others have posted above as soon as possible.

Good luck.
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Old 26.08.2011, 10:53
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Re: s.o.s Iam afraid and i dont know what to do!!!

Can I re-post my joke now?
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Old 26.08.2011, 10:59
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Re: s.o.s Iam afraid and i dont know what to do!!!

My parents think that if a woman take divorce she is a slut.
I know that i do not write good my story , but i was thinking greek when i wrote it .

So, what i have to do , to send in frauenhaus an e-mail to tell them my story?This time he dint hit me of making me signs, in germany i had bruises in my legs but he went us to airport immediately.

on Monday i have to see him, when he bring the police and left
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Old 26.08.2011, 11:03
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Re: s.o.s Iam afraid and i dont know what to do!!!

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Can I re-post my joke now?
Yes.

............
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Old 26.08.2011, 11:09
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Re: s.o.s Iam afraid and i dont know what to do!!!

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The best way to protect your baby is to get as far away from your husband as possible. This relationship sounds completely destructive and that would be an awful environment for a child to grow up in.

Please seek some help from the links others have posted above as soon as possible.

Good luck.
What does that means?
Can the husband not protect the baby?
Does the husband have RIGHTS also?
I almost forgot that "men" are also human beings with rights and duties towards their own children. But that's only theory in practice it's all about "the protecting woman".
Do you feel good to suggest to a woman with obvious serious serious issues (no social skills, not seeking help where appropriate, violent, desperate, totally dependent personality, not respecting the law, etc..., etc...) to "run away" with their child? Sorry I meant her child because men have no rights.

Ha I though we were in 2011, we men and women had equal rights. My mistake.

PS: I won't even debate with the "what happened between them, blablabla". They need professional help, counseling, and psychological treatment that I can not give.
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Old 26.08.2011, 11:12
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Re: s.o.s Iam afraid and i dont know what to do!!!

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Yes.

............
Meh. I won't bother. Teeing it up just doesn't have the same effect.
Damn you eco....
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Old 26.08.2011, 11:15
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Re: s.o.s Iam afraid and i dont know what to do!!!

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My parents think that if a woman take divorce she is a slut.
You're a mother, an adult and you still relies on your parent's opinion???

What kind of parenting is that! Take your responsibilities and grow up!!!

How old are you???


I'm off this topic because i'm already quite annoyed by such a "attitude".

And i'm sure they'll be 100 of posters who will feel sorry for you and feed your victim comments.
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Old 26.08.2011, 11:17
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Re: s.o.s Iam afraid and i dont know what to do!!!

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You're a mother, an adult and you still relies on your parent's opinion???

What kind of parenting is that! Take your responsibilities and grow up!!!

How old are you???


I'm off this topic because i'm already quite annoyed by such a "attitude".

And i'm sure they'll be 100 of posters who will feel sorry for you and feed your victim comments.

bad day at the office Corsebou?
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Old 26.08.2011, 11:17
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Re: s.o.s Iam afraid and i dont know what to do!!!

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Meh. I won't bother. Teeing it up just doesn't have the same effect.
Damn you eco....
Oh PLEASE.....go off-topic is you feel more comfortable
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Old 26.08.2011, 11:20
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Re: s.o.s Iam afraid and i dont know what to do!!!

tel. no. 044 868 32 32 perhaps they can help you too...take care...pull off your ventil...and let go some of it...



Moderator comment: This phone number is not a private one, which would be deleted, but an official office.

Last edited by Longbyt; 26.08.2011 at 19:34. Reason: Comment in italics added
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Old 26.08.2011, 11:21
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Re: s.o.s Iam afraid and i dont know what to do!!!

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What does that means?
Can the husband not protect the baby?
Does the husband have RIGHTS also?
I almost forgot that "men" are also human beings with rights and duties towards their own children. But that's only theory in practice it's all about "the protecting woman".
Do you feel good to suggest to a woman with obvious serious serious issues (no social skills, not seeking help where appropriate, violent, desperate, totally dependent personality, not respecting the law, etc..., etc...) to "run away" with their child? Sorry I meant her child because men have no rights.

Ha I though we were in 2011, we men and women had equal rights. My mistake.

PS: I won't even debate with the "what happened between them, blablabla". They need professional help, counseling, and psychological treatment that I can not give.
If she gets in contact with the people in the links provided then I am certain their first concern will be to make sure the child is safe. Be that with the mother, the father or in care. I have no idea if the father can protect the child but from what I gather he is not there at the moment so other than leaving the baby behind, she'll have to take the baby with her.

Of course father's have rights. Bloody hell, don't turn this into a parental rights debate! I am all for fairness and equal rights if the situation allows it.

How you can make a judgement on the OP's character and potential illnesses from that post is beyond me. I could barely understand the situation as the English wasn't too hot (OP: this isn't a critism and your written English is far better than I could do in another language) so making sweeping statements about her mental wellbeing seems a tad ridiculous.

I can't judge who is wrong or right hence the reason I reiterated she should seek help so they can assess the situation.
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