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Old 01.09.2011, 12:38
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Letter from school warning parents about strangers

Just a week into the new school year and we've already received another letter from the school informing us that a man in a car tried to entice 2 little girls into coming with him while walking home from school. This is the 4th letter of this kind in the past 5 years (seems like a lot to me).

It just got me to wondering if this happens in other communities- obviously it must, but how often? And is it always men in cars stopping children? Does it happen more often in the city or countryside?

We live in a small village (maybe of about 4000) not far from Zurich and I generally feel very safe here. It feels like everyone knows everyone, so I'm always very surprised to hear about things like this happening here.
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Old 01.09.2011, 12:59
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Re: Letter from school warning parents about strangers

On a percapita basis Switzerland has the highest amount of pedophiles in Europe. Thats according to the UN.....

http://www.20min.ch/news/ausland/story/24554809


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Just a week into the new school year and we've already received another letter from the school informing us that a man in a car tried to entice 2 little girls into coming with him while walking home from school. This is the 4th letter of this kind in the past 5 years (seems like a lot to me).

It just got me to wondering if this happens in other communities- obviously it must, but how often? And is it always men in cars stopping children? Does it happen more often in the city or countryside?

We live in a small village (maybe of about 4000) not far from Zurich and I generally feel very safe here. It feels like everyone knows everyone, so I'm always very surprised to hear about things like this happening here.
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Old 01.09.2011, 13:04
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Re: Letter from school warning parents about strangers

Count yourself lucky that you are officially informed of these matters. We found out last week from one of the other parents (who is a police officer) that a similar incident had occurred in our neighbouring town ... where lots of the children go for extra activities etc (including my son for piano class) and they travel alone on the bus. So it would have been nice to have been told officially .. not to stop him from going but to repeat the "stranger danger" discussion one more time.

I asked at school why they did not discuss these matters more with the children and got a long winded explanation which boiled down to "it's none of our business " which I find strange.
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Old 01.09.2011, 13:08
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Re: Letter from school warning parents about strangers

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Count yourself lucky that you are officially informed of these matters. We found out last week from one of the other parents (who is a police officer) that a similar incident had occurred in our neighbouring town ... where lots of the children go for extra activities etc (including my son for piano class) and they travel alone on the bus. So it would have been nice to have been told officially .. not to stop him from going but to repeat the "stranger danger" discussion one more time.

I asked at school why they did not discuss these matters more with the children and got a long winded explanation which boiled down to "it's none of our business " which I find strange.
Wait, what's "none of our business?" I find that so weird! I remember when I was little being taught in school never to talk to strangers. And they even told us of different tricks they might use, like saying "Oh I'm a friend of your mother's she told me to pick you up..." (Anyone else remember watching those videos?)

To the OP-scary!
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Old 01.09.2011, 13:13
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Re: Letter from school warning parents about strangers

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Wait, what's "none of our business?" I find that so weird! I remember when I was little being taught in school never to talk to strangers. And they even told us of different tricks they might use, like saying "Oh I'm a friend of your mother's she told me to pick you up..." (Anyone else remember watching those videos?)

To the OP-scary!
I remember those videos! Once a year or so, a policeman would come to our school for the stranger danger talk.
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Old 01.09.2011, 13:21
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Re: Letter from school warning parents about strangers

Well they felt it was "none of our business" because she explained that it is a difficult subject, that they have no special training, that it is not up to them to tell the children when it is safe, not safe etc etc. Yes I was disappointed by this response and said so.

We also have the village policeman come round to the school ... I assumed his remit would not only include road safety but also stranger danger but was told it was limited strictly to road safety.
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Old 01.09.2011, 13:23
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Re: Letter from school warning parents about strangers

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I remember those videos! Once a year or so, a policeman would come to our school for the stranger danger talk.
Yes! And McGruff, the Crime Dog! <chomp> "Take a bite outta crime!"
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Old 01.09.2011, 13:49
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Re: Letter from school warning parents about strangers

I attended the police visit to the kindergarten today as I was interested to see what was covered. I was a cop in my previous existence and it was at the kindergarten teacher's invitation and suggestion that i can along as i was curious about what would be covered.
The female officer who attended was great. She fully engaged the kindergartners with her hand puppet and did a very thorough job of teaching road safety. She had a roll out road with crossings and they all practiced prior to going down the road and crossing the road one by one.
We returned to the classroom and she spent several minutes talking about strangers. she covered who was a stranger and was very clear that it could be a man or lady. She covered several scenarios from sweets, to puppies to the classic I know your mum and she asked me to pick you up in my car. She covered who to tell and what to say. That you can shout Nei, Herauf, say loudly I don't know you etc . She even covered good and bad secrets - comparing the Mothers Day suprise for mummy with the person who hurts a child and says not to tell anyone. Considering this was a class of 4 and 5 years old I felt that the topic was covered in a very age appropriate manner.
At the end of the day it is up to the parents to equip their children with the knowledge to deal with the "what ifs". I have told my kids for example that if I couldn't pick them up I would never ask someone they didn't know to pick them up ever.
But also keep in mind that by far the largest percentage of child abuse is from within the family or friendship circle and not a random stranger attack. Your children need to understand boundaries for their bodies and affections - never easy and a continuous and ongoing thing.

just my twopenneth
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Old 01.09.2011, 13:56
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Re: Letter from school warning parents about strangers

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Your children need to understand boundaries for their bodies and affections - never easy and a continuous and ongoing thing.
Canton Schwyz has an excellent programme called "mein koerper gehoert mir" (my body belongs to me), which consists of training for the teachers, then a segregated visit to an interactive exhibition all about body rights, inappropriate touching, secrets and so on. It's very sensitively done and perfectly age appropriate for 1st/2nd graders. No dodgy wooden doughnuts here!

It might be worth mentioning it to your children's teachers when they graduate to big school.
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Old 01.09.2011, 13:57
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Re: Letter from school warning parents about strangers

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Wait, what's "none of our business?" I find that so weird! I remember when I was little being taught in school never to talk to strangers. And they even told us of different tricks they might use, like saying "Oh I'm a friend of your mother's she told me to pick you up..." (Anyone else remember watching those videos?)

To the OP-scary!

Our school went one step further. They took us on a safety awareness day when we were around 7 years old at a police headquarters. We had to do loads of tasks and at the end of each one we were chaperoned by a policeman to the next task. After doing a test on observation (watching a man rob a house and then trying to remember details) we were led to a corridor and told to wait for the person running the next task.

After a few minutes a man approached us and told us to follow him. We (3 little girls) obediantly followed him and got really excited when he told us we were going to be driving to the next task. Once in the car he locked the doors and asked us how we knew he was part of the training. We all froze and I distinctly remember the fear and the chilling thought that we were about to be kidnapped. He immediately showed us his id to prove that he was a policeman and our teacher came to the car to vouch for him but it taught us a damn good lesson. Obviously, we failed that task.
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Old 01.09.2011, 14:05
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Re: Letter from school warning parents about strangers

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On a percapita basis Switzerland has the highest amount of pedophiles in Europe. Thats according to the UN.....

http://www.20min.ch/news/ausland/story/24554809
Interesting it's a topic about Switzerland, yet it's in the Ausland (abroad) section.
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Old 01.09.2011, 14:05
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Re: Letter from school warning parents about strangers

I have often talked to my kids about strangers and how to react if someone they don't know approaches them (also different scenarios like if a stranger was sent by mom to pick up child, etc.)
We brought up the topic again after receiving this letter from the school and I was very surprised to hear my 7 year-old tell me that a man had stopped her and a friend to ask for directions to a house and they actually followed him there to make sure they had sent him in the right direction!

Luckily it was perfectly innocent, but I just couldn't believe after all the times we've brought the subject up, that she would do something like that.

I allow my kids a lot of freedom and all I ask of them is to avoid strangers. I tell them, if someone they don't know has a question or whatever, that person can ask an adult- there are always enough around to ask.
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Old 01.09.2011, 14:53
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Interesting it's a topic about Switzerland, yet it's in the Ausland (abroad) section.
Yes, it covers how Swiss men love their child-sex tourism. So they tubbed it into the Ausland bin.... They choose to ignore it as much as possible I guess?
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Old 01.09.2011, 14:58
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Re: Letter from school warning parents about strangers

It's such a difficult topic isn't it.

We have had a letter from the gemeinde - one in the last 2 years - also about a guy asking kids to get in his car. More worrying for me is the fact that neighbouring gemeinde have had other letters warning them of similar things - yet we haven't had those. Do they imagine that a guy in a car trying to pick up kids would not just drive over to the next street where he might be in the neighbouring gemeinde....??

We have also had leaflets from school about what we can say to our kids on both subjects (strangers and road safety).

I know for a fact that our kindergarten teacher and the road traffic cop have done the stranger talk with the kids. We've also done it at home many times. For me, on topics like this I don't really give two hoots what the school does or doesn't do - or what they see as their responsibility - I see it as my parental duty to inform my kids in a manner that I think is appropriate for them - if they hear it from the school and the road traffic cop too that's a bonus. I'd never rely on someone else to do that - it's just too risky that they might not.

However, even though I think we've done what we think is appropriate, it's never going to 100% protect your child. And there is still a chance that they will talk to a stranger or even go with them despite everything that they've been told, because, let's face it, in the practical world, it's hard to tell - even for adults. How many of us might be taken in by scammers and muggers and rapists who lie to us in order to take advantage or do bad things to us?

We also teach our kids not to be rude to people, and they don't really get the fact that "bad" adults might lie to them deliberately.

It terrifies me to imagine that a stranger could kidnap my child and abuse them. But we have to believe that it won't happen. Or at least that it's unlikely to happen. Otherwise we'd never let our kids go out at all.
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Old 01.09.2011, 15:04
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Re: Letter from school warning parents about strangers

Such a difficult issue. In the UK, as a granny myself, I often smiled or even chatted to young kids in town, at the supermarket, etc, especially to distract them if having a tantrum, etc. Most of the time the look of horror on the parents' face was so sad, pulling their child away and staring with angry eyes. Here, parents are much more relaxed, smile back and usually appreciate the 'kindness' and smile - and chat back. In the UK we had to have CRB checks every year, as we helped several local schools with ski trips and other outings. Here we go regularly with the local primary school, walks, cross country skiing, caving, museums- and there is no such thing. Kids walk to school via a small country lane on their own. And I am absolutely sure the incidence of attacks of any kind are much less. As mentioned above, the great majority of sexual of other attacks take place in the home and immediate family/friends circle.

Vigilance is paramount, and kids need to be prepared to deal with potential problems. But seeing every adult as a potential peodophile and total neurosis and distrust is a great shame.
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Old 01.09.2011, 15:05
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Re: Letter from school warning parents about strangers

Wow, very scary...

I feel quite foolish now for having assumed that CH has a really low rate of pedophilia, kidnapping, etc. because so many people here seem to let their kids walk to Kindergarten alone, etc.
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Old 01.09.2011, 15:14
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Re: Letter from school warning parents about strangers

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It's such a difficult topic isn't it.

We have had a letter from the gemeinde - one in the last 2 years - also about a guy asking kids to get in his car. More worrying for me is the fact that neighbouring gemeinde have had other letters warning them of similar things - yet we haven't had those. Do they imagine that a guy in a car trying to pick up kids would not just drive over to the next street where he might be in the neighbouring gemeinde....??

We have also had leaflets from school about what we can say to our kids on both subjects (strangers and road safety).

I know for a fact that our kindergarten teacher and the road traffic cop have done the stranger talk with the kids. We've also done it at home many times. For me, on topics like this I don't really give two hoots what the school does or doesn't do - or what they see as their responsibility - I see it as my parental duty to inform my kids in a manner that I think is appropriate for them - if they hear it from the school and the road traffic cop too that's a bonus. I'd never rely on someone else to do that - it's just too risky that they might not.

However, even though I think we've done what we think is appropriate, it's never going to 100% protect your child. And there is still a chance that they will talk to a stranger or even go with them despite everything that they've been told, because, let's face it, in the practical world, it's hard to tell - even for adults. How many of us might be taken in by scammers and muggers and rapists who lie to us in order to take advantage or do bad things to us?

We also teach our kids not to be rude to people, and they don't really get the fact that "bad" adults might lie to them deliberately.

It terrifies me to imagine that a stranger could kidnap my child and abuse them. But we have to believe that it won't happen. Or at least that it's unlikely to happen. Otherwise we'd never let our kids go out at all.
What you wrote made me think..We pay for parascolaire, that is supposed to pick up kids and get them to lunch and supervise them till the evening, it's actually super pricey, but we live in a busy place and our kiddo needs the French.

The parascolaire gets kids from 4 classes, and the meeting point is a few hundred meters from the actual door my child gets out, and behind a corner. There is a direct drive off road, passing by a school door that parascolaire waiting for kids cannot see, not the cars that would stop. They do not pick kids from the class, but from that meeting point. So, the 4yr olds have to get their stuff and walk on their own to the meeting point. So far so good, forgotten jackets and pulis so far, but the lack of supervision, with 4yr olds, makes me nervous. The fact they are expected to take care of themselves, get dressed, not forget things, and march to the meeting point at 4...while we pay to have them covered and supervised, ugh. The teacher has also informed the parents she will not checked who picks up the kids and if they are related, friends, etc. She just opens the door and closes. So there is this window..and a bunch of little kids who are only 4.

I have walked to work and still do, a few kms from the station. I have timed my train arrivals in the morning, to walk with a 4yr old stranger who evidently was pushed to learn to walk by herself to school. She cried for weeks, walking slowly and glued to the side of the houses, scared of the giant busy road with heavy traffic that's right next to the side walk. When she got used to me, I never told her anything, I was either little behind her or after, she gradually stopped crying. She was terrified of the traffic. Cops, teachers and parents can say whatever they want, but 4yr olds will be 4yr olds. I think sometimes we just want too much from them, when we rely solely on their common sense that they didn't have time to develop yet. This little plan to pay super expensive parascolaire, to patch the lunch times, etc for working family does not seem to work, if kids still have to walk by themselves to the parascolaire and when the parascolaire staff cannot actually see if somebody is snatching them or not. We also had kidnapping cases in bearby GE and FR border towns a few years back.
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Old 01.09.2011, 15:16
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Re: Letter from school warning parents about strangers

We visited my sister in Canada in the summer and she was shocked that I allow my kids to walk to school alone, especially the 5 year old. She says that all parents drive or walk their kids to school even up to the 6th grade! She lives in the suberbs of Toronto, so I suppose there's no comparison to Switzerland in terms of population.

I did feel extremely thankful that my kids have the possibility of walking alone and that won't change because of some sicko. It just really bugs me that some creep has taken a little bit of this feeling of freedom and safety from us and our kids.

Some parents have reacted a little over the top. One of my 9-year-old's friend's mother insists MY daughter go and pick her daughter up for playdates - so it's okay for my daughter to walk alone, but not hers!!

Most parents agree that if the kids walk to school together, they should be fine. It's just hard to control how they walk home from school. So of course the added worry (don't parents spend enough time worrying!?)
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Old 01.09.2011, 15:21
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Re: Letter from school warning parents about strangers

And then we wonder why kids become obese, have no sense of physical balance, etc, being driven everywhere. I'm sure the risks (heart problems, diabetes, etc) are much more serious in many ways. As a grandmother I fear for my little ones all the time- but truly feel that some common sense and sense of proportionality is required.
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Old 01.09.2011, 15:23
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Re: Letter from school warning parents about strangers

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What you wrote made me think..We pay for parascolaire, that is supposed to pick up kids and get them to lunch and supervise them till the evening, it's actually super pricey, but we live in a busy place and our kiddo needs the French.

The parascolaire gets kids from 4 classes, and the meeting point is a few hundred meters from the actual door my child gets out, and behind a corner. There is a direct drive off road, passing by a school door that parascolaire waiting for kids cannot see, not the cars that would stop. They do not pick kids from the class, but from that meeting point. So, the 4yr olds have to get their stuff and walk on their own to the meeting point. So far so good, forgotten jackets and pulis so far, but the lack of supervision, with 4yr olds, makes me nervous. The fact they are expected to take care of themselves, get dressed, not forget things, and march to the meeting point at 4...while we pay to have them covered and supervised, ugh. The teacher has also informed the parents she will not checked who picks up the kids and if they are related, friends, etc. She just opens the door and closes. So there is this window..and a bunch of little kids who are only 4.

I have walked to work and still do, a few kms from the tration. I have timed my train arrivals in the morning, to walk with a 4yr old stranger who evidently was pushed to learn to walk by herself to school. She cried for weeks, walking slowly and glued to the side of the houses, scared of the giant busy road with heavy traffic that's right next to the side walk. When she got used to me, I never told her anything, I was either little behind her or after, she gradually stopped crying. She was terrified of the traffic. Cops, teachers and parents can say whatever they want, but 4yr olds will be 4yr olds. I think sometimes we just want too much from them, when we rely solely on their common sense that they didn't have time to develop yet. This little plan to pay super expensive parascolaire, to patch the lunch times, etc for working family does not seem to work, if kids still have to walk by themselves to the parascolaire and when the parascolaire staff cannot actually see if somebody is snatching them or not. We also had kidnapping cases in bearby GE and FR border towns a few years back.
That is so sad!!
I'm glad I don't have to send my kids to the program after school, because the kindergarten teachers here have also said they are not responsible for what happens to the kids once they leave kindski. So they're stuck first of all remembering they have to go to the "hort" or lunchprogram and then getting there themselves. I have often met up with a 4 or 5 year old that is walking aimlessly around because they should have gone to the hort, but forgot and walked home to an empty house. It's so upsetting for a child and I think in this situation they may even feel desperate enough to accept help from a "stranger".
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