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Old 18.09.2011, 11:55
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

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I don't think children chucking rocks into a drainage ditch is going to clog it. However, all of the debris that gets washed into it will clog it.

Drainage ditches clog. It's a matter of fact, and people get paid to unclog them. So... there's no measurable harm in children being children and chucking rocks into them.

HOWEVER, when they build a rock dam in front of said drainage ditch, then we have a problem...
It's not a drainage ditch, it's a drain. And, as I said before, the stones have to come from somewhere.

On Friday night, some teenagers were removing rocks from the front of our apartment flower bed (our stones) and using them to scrape their names in our pavement (also paid for by us). They were leaving stones all over the place.

My wife politely told them to stop. Which they did.

She heard one of them say to another - that lady told us off as if we were little girls
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  #42  
Old 18.09.2011, 11:59
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

This is one of the reasons we moved to Switzerland. Safety. You should absolutely let your child play outside. Not letting her is exactly why the US children can't tie their own shoes, they have no independence. As far as the neighbor goes, to heck with her. Kids make mistakes and learn from them, that's how they grow up. Back in the US we had an old lady neighbor that would scoff at anything we did if she didn't like it, including jumping in a leaf pile IN OUR OWN YARD! Some people just don't like kids. Let her play and enjoy the fact she is gaining her independence.
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Old 18.09.2011, 12:02
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

Just another thought on the neighbor. Some people have no power or authority in their own lives, so the only way they can feel like they have any influence in the world at all is to yell and scoff at others. We should all just feel sad for these kinds of people.
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  #44  
Old 18.09.2011, 12:04
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

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You can't win....I gave some kids a stern talking to recently because they were playing street hockey against our garage door (which has a communicating door to a play room where our bird's cage is and where the dogs spend a lot of time). Every time the ball hit the garage door it drove the animals mad. Not to mention the marks against the garage door and a broken small perspex window. Anyway, I gave them hell and said that it was private property and if I saw them again I would call the police and they should go play elsewhere (i.e. use their own garage door which is similar to our's...).

That evening I have the Dad around complaining that I should have spoken to him and not the kids. Anyway he got an earful too for good measure.

I would have left it at a dressing down for the kids (who are almost teenaged if not already) as they got the message. But if Dad wants me to let him have both barrels too...by all means.
what did you say to the dad?
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  #45  
Old 18.09.2011, 12:25
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

I was in IKEA yesterday (Saturday) which itself was a bad decision with noisy kids everywhere. I was looking at photo frames and a particular kid was being a prick and driving me bonkers with his constant whining and shouting antics. His parents were completely used to their sweeties whining and did not even bother to shut him up.

So I looked at the kid, put my finger on my lips while making an extremely serious and angry face and the little midget shut up straight away
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  #46  
Old 18.09.2011, 12:46
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

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This is one of the reasons we moved to Switzerland. Safety. You should absolutely let your child play outside. Not letting her is exactly why the US children can't tie their own shoes, they have no independence. As far as the neighbor goes, to heck with her. Kids make mistakes and learn from them, that's how they grow up. Back in the US we had an old lady neighbor that would scoff at anything we did if she didn't like it, including jumping in a leaf pile IN OUR OWN YARD! Some people just don't like kids. Let her play and enjoy the fact she is gaining her independence.
Which is where old ladies telling them off comes into play.
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  #47  
Old 18.09.2011, 14:07
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

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what did you say to the dad?
Well to start with he is about a head shorter than I am and brought his wife along for moral support. If he had never been in a wind tunnel before he now knows what it feels like. If he thought he might intimidate me, he was wrong...

The kids don't use my garage as a goal anymore....
The father doesn't say "grüezi" anymore....
And the wife scowls at me....
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  #48  
Old 18.09.2011, 15:16
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

Here, I am one the 'old ladies'. If parents hear that I told their kids off for doing daft things, they will come and knock at my door to THANK ME for caring and taking the time, and give the kids another good telling off or cuff on the ear, or stop their pocket money.

Same with teachers at school- parents will here appreciate a teacher disciplining kids- whereas in the UK some parents would come to the school and threaten or even hit said teacher.
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Old 19.09.2011, 10:42
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

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Gravel/stones have to be dredged from lakes, etc, and transported- and cost an absolute bomb to re/place- for the owners, Gemeinde, or whatever.
So the 6 year old kids chucking rocks in the drain were then actually supporting the local economy? I smell a political poster in the works.

I think nature, via rainstorms, etc. probably washes more crap into the drainage ditch than any 6 year old can. But I can see the "alles in ordnung" aspect of the angry old lady, maybe throwing rocks in a drain, if left unchecked can lead to arson and robbery eventually

PS- My 4 year old loves to throw pebbles down the drains and I like to sit next to him and hand him the pebbles
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  #50  
Old 19.09.2011, 10:47
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

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PS- My 4 year old loves to throw pebbles down the drains and I like to sit next to him and hand him the pebbles
My point was - what if the pebbles belonged to someone (as was the case with us? Are you still happy to throw them in a drain?

What about the plants in the beds where the pebbles are located - would you pull these up as well?

Is graffiti up your street too?
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  #51  
Old 19.09.2011, 11:03
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

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Well to start with he is about a head shorter than I am and brought his wife along for moral support. If he had never been in a wind tunnel before he now knows what it feels like. If he thought he might intimidate me, he was wrong...

The kids don't use my garage as a goal anymore....
The father doesn't say "grüezi" anymore....
And the wife scowls at me....
next time, you should record it for youtube
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  #52  
Old 19.09.2011, 11:33
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

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I was in IKEA yesterday (Saturday) which itself was a bad decision with noisy kids everywhere. I was looking at photo frames and a particular kid was being a prick and driving me bonkers with his constant whining and shouting antics. His parents were completely used to their sweeties whining and did not even bother to shut him up.

So I looked at the kid, put my finger on my lips while making an extremely serious and angry face and the little midget shut up straight away
You don't have any kids, do you? Kids never listen to their parents and when you try to "shut them up", the whining usually gets worse!!
Personally I try to avoid going shopping with the kids, especially on a Saturday, where it's always crowded, hot, busy etc. Conditions I myself can barely handle.

What I wanted to say is thank-you for talking (or signaling or whatever) directly to the child. It drives me nuts that most people act as though kids are a nuisance or stupid (they glare, make comments to themselves or others around them), but don't communicate with them directly. I am not just talking about the negative stuff, but also when a child does something thoughtful. I cannot count the number of times my kids have been standing quietly beside me while I do the grocery shopping and someone comes along from the back (we can't see or hear them) and starts sighing heavily, or mumbles to himself or pushes right into the kids to get by!

Kids respond when they are acknowledged, and they are often more polite and learn faster than most adults!
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  #53  
Old 19.09.2011, 11:43
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

PS- My 4 year old loves to throw pebbles down the drains and I like to sit next to him and hand him the pebbles

Let's all teach the kids to throw pepples down drains, then after the next thunder storm, we can all discuss on the forum why all the storm drains are blocked and Swiss cities flooded.
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Old 19.09.2011, 11:47
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

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You don't have any kids, do you? Kids never listen to their parents and when you try to "shut them up", the whining usually gets worse!!
Personally I try to avoid going shopping with the kids, especially on a Saturday, where it's always crowded, hot, busy etc. Conditions I myself can barely handle.

What I wanted to say is thank-you for talking (or signaling or whatever) directly to the child. It drives me nuts that most people act as though kids are a nuisance or stupid (they glare, make comments to themselves or others around them), but don't communicate with them directly. I am not just talking about the negative stuff, but also when a child does something thoughtful. I cannot count the number of times my kids have been standing quietly beside me while I do the grocery shopping and someone comes along from the back (we can't see or hear them) and starts sighing heavily, or mumbles to himself or pushes right into the kids to get by!

Kids respond when they are acknowledged, and they are often more polite and learn faster than most adults!
You'll get thanked from me as well if you tell off my kids if they are misbehaving and I haven't noticed. I'll apologise too.


Unlike the lady at the Kinderzoo the other day:

It was elephant feeding time and my wife was there with our two youngest. All the little children were taking a carrot or two from a bucket provided and feeding the elephants. There were plenty enough carrots for all the children if they shared.

One girl who was about nine took a massive bunch of carrots which meant there weren't enough for all the children to have a go.

My wife pointed this out to the child. The mother of the girl told my wife to mind her own business.


Having read a lot of the comments on here, it seems that half the people on EF would have sided with my wife and the other half with the pleasant-mannered mother.
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Old 19.09.2011, 11:56
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

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My wife pointed this out to the child. The mother of the girl told my wife to mind her own business.
did your wife tell her that she would mind her own business when the mother could manage to raise her child right?
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Old 19.09.2011, 12:02
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

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did your wife tell her that she would mind her own business when the mother could manage to raise her child right?
The woman stormed off after telling my wife to mind her own business.
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Old 19.09.2011, 12:02
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

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One girl who was about nine took a massive bunch of carrots which meant there weren't enough for all the children to have a go.

My wife pointed this out to the child. The mother of the girl told my wife to mind her own business.
And that's where the phrase "the apple doesn't fall very far from the tree" comes from.

Was this Friday by any chance? We had a few incidents like that with bloody weird mums at the playground with their weird sense of what's right and wrong. Must have been something in the air.

Two mums deeply involved in gossiping on the park bench and oblivious to their two little darlings terrorising all the little kids, chucking sand at them and pushing them off swings.

One mum went over to complain to the mums and got a full hands-on-hips "What's it to you!??" kind of response.

Charming.

One dad "accidentally" shoved one of them to the ground while he was running too close to his toddler.

We didn't -ahem- see a thing.
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Old 19.09.2011, 12:06
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

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You don't have any kids, do you?
I got 7 of them and they are in the basement slaving away assembling iphone 5s for October launch date. I better go down and check up on them.
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Old 19.09.2011, 12:06
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

i think we should sterlise at birth and undo the sterlisation only upon the person successfully passing a parenting exam and paying for the appropriate parenting licence.
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Old 19.09.2011, 12:14
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

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i think we should sterlise at birth and undo the sterlisation only upon the person successfully passing a parenting exam and paying for the appropriate parenting licence.
Can we use "DodgyKen's 101 Modern Parenting Techniques" as the base for the exam??

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