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Old 19.09.2011, 13:22
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

I ought to point out as a parent that my three are as bad as the rest of them.

However, as a parent, I'd like to think that I do try and I can see that whatever my own shortcomings as a parent, some things that I see are just plain wrong without there being any doubt.
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Old 19.09.2011, 13:33
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

"Children will be Children", "Teenagers will be Teenagers", "Adults will be Adults" you get the picture.

Children will always behave as children - especially in a group. They will always push the limits of discipline - and is the community's responsibility to define that discipline. If a parent isn't on hand then adults should be able to act as a "Person of Authority". Telling children off for inappropriate behaviour shouldn't be frowned on.

By understanding the boundaries of acceptable behaviour - via a community that works together to provide discipline - children will learn to respect not only their parents, but other adults, other children and property.

I'm not a parent - but I was a child - and I am grateful for growing up in an environment were I was able to establish the boundaries of discipline.
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Old 19.09.2011, 13:39
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

What I don't understand is why are some kids bright and not crying/whinging type while others are tantrum masters? All things being equal it must have something to do with the parents.

In our area there are 4 single kid families and all the 4 kids are tantrum masters. I think they have been spoilt rotten.
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Old 19.09.2011, 13:39
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

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I ought to point out as a parent that my three are as bad as the rest of them.

However, as a parent, I'd like to think that I do try and I can see that whatever my own shortcomings as a parent, some things that I see are just plain wrong without there being any doubt.
Let's face it, nobody is perfect and there are all kinds of different parenting styles. But the basics don't change. Respect and consideration for others. Kids also need to learn that what they do actually matters and has consequences. What kind of a message is a kid getting whose mother acts like it's okay to take all the carrots at the zoo, so there are none left for the other kids and on top of that being rude to another person.
I just don't get it. Maybe that girl took them all without a second thought in all the excitement. But then it would have been right for her to feel embarassed by her actions, apologise and also see that it embarassed her mother. So what she does, has an impact on other people. She learns to apologise or feel bad for her actions and learns that she can make it right by handing the carrots over to the other kids and seeing how she can make others happy. This is just a little thing, but honestly, it's probably just one of lots of little incidents that happen to her. Why can't these parents see they are doing their kids no favours? That girl will probably find herself friendless, unhappy and will probably rebel against her parents anyway.
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Old 19.09.2011, 13:45
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

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What I don't understand is why are some kids bright and not crying/whinging type while others are tantrum masters? All things being equal it must have something to do with the parents.

In our area there are 4 single kid families and all the 4 kids are tantrum masters. I think they have been spoilt rotten.
It might have something to do with the parents, but that's definately not the only factor in my opinion. I have 4 kids and they are all quite different, but there are also similarities (they all have a shyness about them), but 2 of them react much faster if something doesn't go there way. One gives up faster, the other will fight and carry on endlessly. I think you are born with a certain character that can maybe be influenced by parents, but not molded or completely changed. But that's just my opinion!
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Old 19.09.2011, 17:52
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

An interesting story popped up in the news today:

http://www.20min.ch/news/basel/story/30185618

Maybe we should all think about what our 5/6/7 year olds are up to when we let them out to play!

I was very shocked by this I have to say, mainly because it's my home town (village) and the 6 or 7 year old involved could well be in my sons class at school - don't know for sure as there are two schools in our town and obviously the names haven't been published. But I can't help but imagine what if my kid had been with them..... would he have had the balls to say "nope, not doing that" or would he have gone with the flow? I honestly can't be 100% sure. I certainly hope he would know better.... but peer pressure to do bad things that are allegedly fun can be a serious issue.

Having said that though, in general I have no real problem about letting my boy play outside (he's just turned 7) alone or with his mates, but he is under strict instructions about the "zone" he is allowed to wander without getting my permission first. i.e. he can play in our street (which I can see from the window) and he can go to the park - which is one street away (and I can also see it from the upstairs window) - if he tells me he's going there. But that's it really.
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Old 19.09.2011, 17:57
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

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It might have something to do with the parents, but that's definately not the only factor in my opinion. I have 4 kids and they are all quite different, but there are also similarities (they all have a shyness about them), but 2 of them react much faster if something doesn't go there way. One gives up faster, the other will fight and carry on endlessly. I think you are born with a certain character that can maybe be influenced by parents, but not molded or completely changed. But that's just my opinion!
kids obviously have very different personalities, but ultimately, it is down to parenting.
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Old 19.09.2011, 18:28
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Re: Is it wrong to let my 6 yr old play outside on her own?

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kids obviously have very different personalities, but ultimately, it is down to parenting.
So, a child is a completely empty vessel at conception, and is simply a sum of all of its experiences? No inborn personality, no innate pontentials, no strong tendencies to like / dislike anything on first contact?

I agree that parenting has a strong input into a child's personality, and their expressed behaviour, but it is not everything by a long shot.
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