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Old 16.09.2011, 13:29
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HELP - concussion caused by schoolmate

dear all,

my son suffered a concussion (we just came back from the doctors, so it's
certain) whilst at school yesterday. I already talked to the teacher and need to
decide how to proceed because he's supposed to be leaving for klassenlager next
monday. I don't mean the medical side - that's taken care of and we are
supposed to check how it develops in the next hours, if monday morning he's
fine he can go, otherwise kinderspital.

what I mean is, how do I go about it with the school - do you have any
experiences to share? I thought I had seen a thread recently to this effect, but
can't find it any longer.
we don't want to make an unneccessary big deal about it, as the teacher is
supportive, but I'm awfully worried that my son might suffer again from this
bully when "no one's watching". this other kid has caused him to fall or attacked on several occasions - always when a teacher was present. they just simply don't seem to notice. we've only just arrived, and he already has so
many new things to deal with: he is still settling in with all language problems
involved (although german mother tongue he still understands little
schweizerdeutsch), he was recovering from flu and suffers from asthma. plus he's
one year younger and physically much smaller than all other boys. with the
others in his class he gets along real well, he's such a funny and peaceful and
caring little sunshine, it's just sooo unfair.

thanks for listening - any advice will be greatly appreciated
eleonora
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Old 16.09.2011, 13:37
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Re: HELP - concussion caused by schoolmate

Does your son know the boys name who is beating on him? If he does I think you need to have an informal discussion with the teacher expressing your concerns. You may find out that this kid has already been warned and he is simply a thug that needs some serious help.
If you let the situation go it will most likely continue and others may also be in a similar situation. It may be easier to put things off but in my experience you have to address them at some point and the sooner the less stress is involved. Good luck
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Old 16.09.2011, 13:42
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Re: HELP - concussion caused by schoolmate

Eleonora How dreadful. All my sympathies to you and your son.

I appreciate you may not wish to rock the boat, but this is bullying and it is out of control. I would not even suggest an informal chat, but a formal one, to put it clearly on record what is happening, and to get formal proposals as to how this is to be dealt with.

The parents of the boy who is doing this need to be told, and the boy needs to be spoken with and given clear consequences should his actions continue.

Of course, the age old dilema then becomes, will this make the bullying worse? I cannot answer that, and if you fear it is a real possibility then of course, it makes taking my advice seem not so sensible, instead EArme's advice might be best.

All the best
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Old 16.09.2011, 13:42
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Re: HELP - concussion caused by schoolmate

One kid deliberately injuring another child to the point where they suffer concussion is certainly a reason to take it higher in the school. That is totally unacceptable.

Can you approach the parents of the bully directly seeing as the school doesn't seem (at least at this point) overly concerned with this kind of behaviour.

That's just bloody dangerous.
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Old 16.09.2011, 14:11
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Re: HELP - concussion caused by schoolmate

I really suggest you first talk with the teacher before making stuff official. The playground is a rough place, always was and will be. It actually helps that there is some rough play going on but I agree bullying is not acceptable.
If the teachers do not want to listen then go ahead and put it in text.
Remember life is not so much fun all the time and these years start to teach your kids how the real world is.
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Old 16.09.2011, 14:15
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Re: HELP - concussion caused by schoolmate

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I really suggest you first talk with the teacher before making stuff official. The playground is a rough place, always was and will be. It actually helps that there is some rough play going on but I agree bullying is not acceptable.
If the teachers do not want to listen then go ahead and put it in text.
Remember life is not so much fun all the time and these years start to teach your kids how the real world is.
That's a really depressing way to look at it. Why should getting a concussion be one of life's lessons? Any kind of physical abuse, by whatever age, is not OK and the kids who perpetrate it should be taught not to do it, rather than the poor kids at the receiving end having to learn how to take it.
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Old 16.09.2011, 14:34
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Re: HELP - concussion caused by schoolmate

Hi, I would ask the teacher if they could set up an agreement with the family of the other kid that if he starts bullying others in the Klassenlager he has to go back home and visit regular school with another class.
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Old 16.09.2011, 15:08
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Re: HELP - concussion caused by schoolmate

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That's a really depressing way to look at it. Why should getting a concussion be one of life's lessons? Any kind of physical abuse, by whatever age, is not OK and the kids who perpetrate it should be taught not to do it, rather than the poor kids at the receiving end having to learn how to take it.
What you never had a fight at school. We live in the world not a bubble.
And remember there is always two sides to a story. Jumping in with an official complaint, you ever here about the boy that cried wolf.
I got hit by a rock when I was a kid and had blood all down my face but so did the other kids.
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Old 16.09.2011, 14:31
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Re: HELP - concussion caused by schoolmate

thank you so much for your support - it's so great to have this forum, I would sometimes feel completely lost otherwise.
I'm going to see the teacher this afternoon and tell her about the doctor's report (school needs to know anyway becoause he missed school yesterday and today and won't be able to catch with his homework etc - I want her to consider this at evaluation stage)

she knows from the start which boy it is, he seems to be well known (the whole thing started with him stealing school equipment from my son. we suggested my son should bear patience and ask to have his things back and eventually he got them). I have no idea, though, how the school approaches this kind of problem here - I know at his school in germany it would have been immediately and officially addressed with all parties involved by the teacher herself. here the teacher put my son (in his already difficult situation) next to this bully to start with! only now, after this, she has said she will move him.

I will tell her that I will send him to the lager if he rapidly gets better again - as the doctor suggested - but only if I have a positive feeling that the teachers will very closely monitor this other kid. to be fair the teacher has already said that if the other kid continues to bully my son he (the bully) will have to leave the lager.
on the other hand - as you can imagine - my son is trying to attract as little attention as possible and to blend in. so it's not easy to help him without making things even more difficult for him.

but I agree that life is hard, life is the best school and this is a big city compared with where we lived before, with all its drawbacks. now the most important thing is that there are no medical consequences.
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Old 16.09.2011, 14:35
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Re: HELP - concussion caused by schoolmate

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but I agree that life is hard, life is the best school and this is a big city compared with where we lived before, with all its drawbacks. now the most important thing is that there are no medical consequences.
Just remember that falling out of a tree or off a bike and getting a concussion is "just life". Getting a concussion by being thumped by a bully is NOT and your son's school should immediately recognise the difference.

I hope it all goes well for you this afternoon at the school. Maybe write some bullet points down beforehand so you don't forget anything if you get flustered, although you do sound pretty composed about the whole thing.
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Old 16.09.2011, 14:37
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Re: HELP - concussion caused by schoolmate

I might be wrong here, but I think that giving someone concussion isn't a school matter; it's a police matter.

The parents might take a little notice when the law turns up on their doorstep.
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