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Old 09.11.2011, 13:50
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Re: Problem at my son's school - advice needed

At primary, my daughter got 5 (great) for being helpful and kind, looking out for others, and 3 for social interaction. I challenged the teacher on this, what is to me, obvious contradiction, but he insisted. She spent 3 months, as a result of this teacher's recommendation, in Realschule (lowest tier). She was then moved up to Secondary, and she's now heading toward Gymnasium and university.

The point is - this is one teacher's opinion. Be respectul and polite, give it due weight, but don't take it as gospel. Older teachers, with some honourable exceptions, seem rooted in the education system they went throught themselves - they don't seem to have noticed things have changed a bit.
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Old 09.11.2011, 14:12
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Re: Problem at my son's school - advice needed

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You're joking right? That is crazy!

The language issue might be a factor. He has been in school for just over a year now and they arrange for twice-weekly extra German lessons for the immigrant kids. I've seen him interact with the other kids in German so I assumed that he was progressing ok.

I asked him once how things are at school and he replied that he doesn't understand the teacher. When we mentioned it to her, she said 'no way. I know 100% sure that he understands what I am saying.'

In any case, we'll be looking at this a bit more closely and get him into extra language classes if that's what he needs. Tho, I also remember when I asked him to clean up his room and put his toys away, he stomped away saying "oh scheisse man!" haha
Actually its not a joke about the fail your driving test 3 times and get referred for psychological assessment!!

My children also had Swiss German lessons when they were in Kindergarten and in German once they started school. Unless the teacher is actually testing his understanding, I don't see how she can know whether he understands or not.

Kids get quite adept at hiding weaknesses. Most instructions in Kindergarten are pretty simple and your son could simply be following what the others are doing. Actually I was delighted when my sons first started to swear in German - at least I had proof they were picking up language from their peer group as well as from lessons. I don't find it quite so charming now that they are teenagers though!!
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  #23  
Old 09.11.2011, 14:23
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Re: Problem at my son's school - advice needed

I hope to have more time laters to actually chip in here with something more valid..no time to get all scientific about a sad child. Looks to me your teacher sucks.

Another thing is, things can be very very clinical here.

When we started school here the first words were "all kids are handicaped, let us help them" as the title of the speech to parents. I was shocked, and realized, after talking to the director of local system primaire (my child is in enf 1) and a number of teachers, that it is all mostly in the wording and wanting to show the opposite of what has been traditionally followed here in edu system.

Yet, you will have teachers who think they discovered America coz they just heard about autism. Mostly they do not even diagnose well. This should be done by a psych, over a time and with a battery of tests, by the way. So, on one hand there is this phase some teachers/schools are going through, and that is over diagnosing children with proudly taking the role of docs, even. I wouldn't stress so much. I would stay away very constistently from labelling, though...when she says "your autistic child", turn it ayway from the conversation, relabel, etc. You child might simply be unhappy with not being supported there, with perhaps bullying, or maybe with the teacher being strict but your child could feel it is not justified, that teacher is being unfair, etc etc.

Talk to your child, trust your gut feeling. Aks the teacher, at an official meeting, to list the symptoms, it really sounds to me she is just glad she might have read about it somewhere.

I think the system is overdoing it a tad, at some schools, with some teachers, since things like that have been ignored here for a long time. It will even out, we just have to give them time. And, in the meantime, stand behind your little boy. Just coz some teacher labelled, you could probably as easily label her if you needed. That does not make your son autist, though.

Ask having your child moved to a paralel class with a different teacher for 2 weeks, and see what happens.
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Old 09.11.2011, 15:17
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Re: Problem at my son's school - advice needed

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Hello all,

I need some advice regarding a problem at my son's school. My son is in the second year of Kindergarten here in Zurich and this is his second year here. In the first year he had a younger teacher but she left and this year he has an older, and stricter teacher. His new teacher brought to our attention a couple of months ago that she wasn't happy with my son's interactions with the other kids and that she thinks he might have autism. She noted:
1) He sits with a glum expression on his face in class
2) He doesn't initiate interaction with other children (though he responds when other's start talking to him)

Now yesterday she asked for a meeting next week with myself and my wife about my son. She indicated she wants to get a Doctor involved and that if she doesn't see some improvement in him in the next 7 months she will keep him back a year.

Obviously we're quite alarmed.

If he does have symptoms of autism, then obviously we want to see him get the appropriate support. But from our point of view, the problem is that we don't see any of these signs she describes in his behaviour outside of school and none of his previous three teachers in nursery over here or in the UK have observed in him what she is describing.

My wife encourages him to in his reading, writing and maths at home, and his former teacher said that he was way ahead of the kids in these areas. His current teacher also acknowledges that he is an intelligent boy.

I've talked to my wife and we wonder whether:
1) he might be bored? If he can already read, write and do his basic maths, perhaps he is bored? If that is the case, I can't imagine anything more frustrating than keeping him back a year!

2) My wife has also noted that there is a kid in his class who isn't so friendly with my son. For instance, when my son is downstairs playing on his scooter, this other kids will push my son off it and take it away. And also this morning, my wife stayed behind in the class to observe my son for 10 minutes, and she says she saw the following: the teacher asked my son to pair up and play with this unfriendly kid and another. My son went over, but the unfriendly kid told him to go away. So my son goes to the teacher to complain the other kid isn't sharing the toys, but the teacher said 'just go back and play with them.' So my son goes back and is just sitting there with a glum expression on his face because this other kid doesn't get on with him. All of which frustrates me because I had a word with my son yesterday and told him that I want him to interact with the kids more.

So that's the problem in a nutshell. Does anyone have any help or advice regarding this situation, and next week's meeting with the teacher?

Thanks
Kash.
My two Rappen

I was a very energetic child, so one of my teachers suggested that I might have POS (the old name for ADHD) and should be checked by a doctor. While my parents disagreed, they accepted that I'd see the doctor. To cut a long story short, after seeing me, the pediatrician told my parents that they can be happy to have such a lively kiddo (btw. that was about 1986). This shut the teacher up quite effectively, he then agreed to give me extra tasks that kept me occupied when I was bored.

If I were you, I'd let a doctor (not a familiy doctor, but a competent pediatrician, very important) see your son. Either way, if he or she finds nothing, you will have good arguments against the teachers opinion and you made sure that you have done everything for your kid. If there is something (I hope not) your son can get the help he needs.
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Old 09.11.2011, 15:34
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Re: Problem at my son's school - advice needed

I hear you all, I have a lovely little boy at my playgroup, he's intelligent, sociable, albeit a "squirmy, can't keep still kind of feller". He's 4. He was enrolled in a phonics class (not with me) which entails him just sitting down and going through the course work.
His mum is in bits because the teacher there thinks he needs medication for "in her opinion" diagnosed ADHD. When I questioned the mothers feelings about this she said "well she does have a PHD" and your very understanding!

I asked her to visit her pediatrician, talk about her worries and to advise him that I would have no objections to an observational assessment made during one of his playgroup mornings. Obviously I don't know what I'm talking about cos i haven't got any letters after my name.

If I met that lady, I'd tell her to shove her PHD where the sun most certainly does not shine.
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Old 09.11.2011, 15:49
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Re: Problem at my son's school - advice needed

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Hello all,

I need some advice regarding a problem at my son's school. My son is in the second year of Kindergarten here in Zurich and this is his second year here. In the first year he had a younger teacher but she left and this year he has an older, and stricter teacher. His new teacher brought to our attention a couple of months ago that she wasn't happy with my son's interactions with the other kids and that she thinks he might have autism. She noted:
1) He sits with a glum expression on his face in class
2) He doesn't initiate interaction with other children (though he responds when other's start talking to him)

Now yesterday she asked for a meeting next week with myself and my wife about my son. She indicated she wants to get a Doctor involved and that if she doesn't see some improvement in him in the next 7 months she will keep him back a year.

Obviously we're quite alarmed.

If he does have symptoms of autism, then obviously we want to see him get the appropriate support. But from our point of view, the problem is that we don't see any of these signs she describes in his behaviour outside of school and none of his previous three teachers in nursery over here or in the UK have observed in him what she is describing.

My wife encourages him to in his reading, writing and maths at home, and his former teacher said that he was way ahead of the kids in these areas. His current teacher also acknowledges that he is an intelligent boy.

I've talked to my wife and we wonder whether:
1) he might be bored? If he can already read, write and do his basic maths, perhaps he is bored? If that is the case, I can't imagine anything more frustrating than keeping him back a year!

2) My wife has also noted that there is a kid in his class who isn't so friendly with my son. For instance, when my son is downstairs playing on his scooter, this other kids will push my son off it and take it away. And also this morning, my wife stayed behind in the class to observe my son for 10 minutes, and she says she saw the following: the teacher asked my son to pair up and play with this unfriendly kid and another. My son went over, but the unfriendly kid told him to go away. So my son goes to the teacher to complain the other kid isn't sharing the toys, but the teacher said 'just go back and play with them.' So my son goes back and is just sitting there with a glum expression on his face because this other kid doesn't get on with him. All of which frustrates me because I had a word with my son yesterday and told him that I want him to interact with the kids more.

So that's the problem in a nutshell. Does anyone have any help or advice regarding this situation, and next week's meeting with the teacher?

Thanks
Kash.
This is pretty interesting; the first thing you should ask this teacher for is an over view of her clinical diagnostic psychology back ground, her education in that area and her related peer reviewed experience in diagnostic behaviorism in children, secondly her double blind trial evidence and peer reviewed emotional/ psychological assessment of the child with reference to Kohlberg (behavioral development of children scale) and also a current literature review of the pedagogical ramifications of early age bilingual development... before you should take her blanket diagnosis of 'Autism' seriously.

'Having a glum look' on ones face does not qualify them as being any part of the autistic spectrum, many profoundly autistic children do exibit blank expressions but logically it is a false syllogism to state that 'all autistic children look glum; your child looks glum; hence your child is autistic'.

If the above is the only reasoning for this conclusion, I personally would advise the teacher to stick to his/her own area of expertise, namely ABC, and 'the cat in the hat'.
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Old 09.11.2011, 15:59
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Re: Problem at my son's school - advice needed

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..Kohlberg..
Ah, the love of my life..

The developemental stages as per Piaget would do as well, Erikson, Maslow, etc etc., love it love it.

You are right, I don't get the arrogance of "glum looking child" being labelled as abnormal. I think it is good that there is a concern, honestly, since it at least shows the teacher has noticed the child might not be happy. But more pro anyone in psy is, more discrete and less prone to fast labelling. Usually actually the oppposite, avoiding to classify that child before any pro steps are being made.

Olhand, thanks for your lovely post.
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Old 09.11.2011, 16:02
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Re: Problem at my son's school - advice needed

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This is pretty interesting; the first thing you should ask this teacher for is an over view of her clinical diagnostic psychology back ground, her education in that area and her related peer reviewed experience in diagnostic behaviorism in children, secondly her double blind trial evidence and peer reviewed emotional/ psychological assessment of the child with reference to Kohlberg (behavioral development of children scale) and also a current literature review of the pedagogical ramifications of early age bilingual development... before you should take her blanket diagnosis of 'Autism' seriously.

'Having a glum look' on ones face does not qualify them as being any part of the autistic spectrum, many profoundly autistic children do exibit blank expressions but logically it is a false syllogism to state that 'all autistic children look glum; your child looks glum; hence your child is autistic'.

If the above is the only reasoning for this conclusion, I personally would advise the teacher to stick to his/her own area of expertise, namely ABC, and 'the cat in the hat'.
To be fair to the teacher, they are referring the child and the parents to a doctor. The doctor will make a decision as to whether more tests are needed to see if something really is wrong.

In this case the teacher's manner may not be particularly good but it seems that they are acting in the interests of the child.

I know of more of one child here that was referred to a specialist after the teacher noticed something amiss and it turned out to be something quite serious that was going to get worse unless it was dealt with outside of normal schooling.
(Having said that, the parents really should have picked up on it earlier but it wasn't as they didn't).

I'm sure there's absolutely nothing to worry about in the OP's case but I do like the way the teachers here look out for more than just ABC and 'the cat in the hat'.
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Old 09.11.2011, 16:19
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Re: Problem at my son's school - advice needed

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Hello all,

I need some advice regarding a problem at my son's school. My son is in the second year of Kindergarten here in Zurich and this is his second year here. In the first year he had a younger teacher but she left and this year he has an older, and stricter teacher. His new teacher brought to our attention a couple of months ago that she wasn't happy with my son's interactions with the other kids and that she thinks he might have autism. She noted:
1) He sits with a glum expression on his face in class
2) He doesn't initiate interaction with other children (though he responds when other's start talking to him)

Now yesterday she asked for a meeting next week with myself and my wife about my son. She indicated she wants to get a Doctor involved and that if she doesn't see some improvement in him in the next 7 months she will keep him back a year.

Obviously we're quite alarmed.

If he does have symptoms of autism, then obviously we want to see him get the appropriate support. But from our point of view, the problem is that we don't see any of these signs she describes in his behaviour outside of school and none of his previous three teachers in nursery over here or in the UK have observed in him what she is describing.

My wife encourages him to in his reading, writing and maths at home, and his former teacher said that he was way ahead of the kids in these areas. His current teacher also acknowledges that he is an intelligent boy.

I've talked to my wife and we wonder whether:
1) he might be bored? If he can already read, write and do his basic maths, perhaps he is bored? If that is the case, I can't imagine anything more frustrating than keeping him back a year!

2) My wife has also noted that there is a kid in his class who isn't so friendly with my son. For instance, when my son is downstairs playing on his scooter, this other kids will push my son off it and take it away. And also this morning, my wife stayed behind in the class to observe my son for 10 minutes, and she says she saw the following: the teacher asked my son to pair up and play with this unfriendly kid and another. My son went over, but the unfriendly kid told him to go away. So my son goes to the teacher to complain the other kid isn't sharing the toys, but the teacher said 'just go back and play with them.' So my son goes back and is just sitting there with a glum expression on his face because this other kid doesn't get on with him. All of which frustrates me because I had a word with my son yesterday and told him that I want him to interact with the kids more.

So that's the problem in a nutshell. Does anyone have any help or advice regarding this situation, and next week's meeting with the teacher?

Thanks
Kash.

i dont get it: how could she keep him back a year if she doesnt see improvement? isnt advancing through classes only determined by academic progress (and not whether a kid likes his friends or not)?

i would be worried if the teacher had so much power over a kids progress, but i have no experience with swiss schools yet
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Old 09.11.2011, 16:33
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Re: Problem at my son's school - advice needed

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i dont get it: how could she keep him back a year if she doesnt see improvement? isnt advancing through classes only determined by academic progress (and not whether a kid likes his friends or not)?
No. Social competences, comunication, cooperation, how comfortable he makes himself within a group of kids (the teacher might actually think he might have a better school time with younger, more gentle kids, maybe..), attitude, responsiveness, independence, creativity, helpfulness, etc. but that is in the school I know and with teachers I know. These things really depend on school and individual teachers.
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Old 09.11.2011, 16:42
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Re: Problem at my son's school - advice needed

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No. Social competences, comunication, cooperation, how comfortable he makes himself within a group of kids (the teacher might actually think he might have a better school time with younger, more gentle kids, maybe..), attitude, responsiveness, independence, creativity, helpfulness, etc. but that is in the school I know and with teachers I know. These things really depend on school and individual teachers.
Wow, by some of those standards, I would've been held back a lot. I was a shy child and it took me a long time to build up my confidence when interacting with others. Coming to Switzerland has reminded me of how much of a shy person I can still be in unfamiliar surroundings.
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Old 09.11.2011, 16:44
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Re: Problem at my son's school - advice needed

wow, there's a lot here to comment on and i admit i didn't read all the responses so forgive me if i repeat a point that has been already stated .

first of all, what experience or training does the teacher have in diagnosing or working with autistic children that gives her that feeling? as a teacher here in switzerland (and a teacher in the states as well, trained in elementary, language acquisition and special needs) i am not aware of too many programs in place here that trains classroom teachers in special needs. also, your son is from a different culture and language background, even if he is doing well academically, there could be a bit of timidity due to cultural differences and/or language issues. children deal with language learning and comfortability just as we do, very differently from one to another- my advice from this point would be to rule out any issues regarding these issues before anything else can be examined.

has your son been in playgroups before and how was his interaction there, if so. or how is he when he plays with friends. autism isn't easily diagnosed as there is a spectrum of severity (for lack of a better word ) and if he is following classroom routines and completing tasks, working well in math and other languages- this really says not too much on whether or not he can be autistic- as autistic children can (and often are) very bright and very routine driven.

i would recommend that you do a bit of research on your own and go over the symptoms of autism a bit with your wife, just to familiarize yourself with what the teacher is getting at. is he hellbent on following the same routines, is he able to parallel play but not interactive play, etc. most parents i know that have a child who is autistic to some degree have themselves first noticed a particular behavior or issue that made them feel something was a bit different, and i am a full believer that parental instincts can be very good determiners of issues, though of course not the end all.

lastly, whether he has autism or not, holding him back due to this (or a glum face) won't really amount to anything- if he is on grade level for academics now and his language skills are good, it will only bridge the gap between him and his peers and if it is autism, being held back wouldn't change the behavior or social issues that are involved. regardless, it's the teachers job to differentiate her teaching style and classwork to all of her students accordingly and know about any issues where students are sensitive- be it socially, academically, etc. not a huge movement for this exists here, but this is the only thing that will show a result in most cases- there is no medication that is given specifically for autism though i have seen huge results in one on one and small group work regarding behavior and social and developmental issues.

regardless, i would probably take him to a doctor just to have a check and have some info for the teacher on what a professional or someone trained specifically in child development thinks.
best of luck
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Old 09.11.2011, 16:46
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Re: Problem at my son's school - advice needed

Although I don't disagree with MusicChick, I would question whether holding an autistic student back would actually help - something different from a standard education might, but just a slower version won't!

However, it sounds to me like it's just a bit of bullying and a teacher with a high regard for themselves. As others have said, bright kids get bored easily and bullied kids look glum. I'm certain you will sort this out and have a happy kid able to progress as he should - fight for it, and good luck!!

(also, tell your kid to punch the one who doesn't like him in the balls).
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Old 09.11.2011, 17:19
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Re: Problem at my son's school - advice needed

It is often the case that the biggest bully in the class room is the teacher; I've witnessed the coping mechanisms of many teachers with regard to pupil management and the management of difficult pupils.

Predominantly the teacher will either ignore or intimidate the difficult pupil into submission, a pupil who is ignored will eventually give up asking questions, and a pupil who is intimidated will be scared to ask for help, this produces a non-responsive child that is easy to manage by a lazy teacher, but also one that is failed by the education system.

I like to call it the 'French foreign legion' style of man management, the teacher will select a child (generally a perceived trouble maker) and make an example of him/her, the teacher's initial humiliation is then off loaded to the pupil's peers, who persecute the child leaving the teacher blameless.

Often teachers do not understand that children are emotionally unprepared for the brow-beating tactics of the world of adults
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Old 09.11.2011, 17:19
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Re: Problem at my son's school - advice needed

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wow, there's a lot here to comment on and i admit i didn't read all the responses so forgive me if i repeat a point that has been already stated .

first of all, what experience or training does the teacher have in diagnosing or working with autistic children that gives her that feeling? as a teacher here in switzerland (and a teacher in the states as well, trained in elementary, language acquisition and special needs) i am not aware of too many programs in place here that trains classroom teachers in special needs. also, your son is from a different culture and language background, even if he is doing well academically, there could be a bit of timidity due to cultural differences and/or language issues. children deal with language learning and comfortability just as we do, very differently from one to another- my advice from this point would be to rule out any issues regarding these issues before anything else can be examined.

has your son been in playgroups before and how was his interaction there, if so. or how is he when he plays with friends. autism isn't easily diagnosed as there is a spectrum of severity (for lack of a better word ) and if he is following classroom routines and completing tasks, working well in math and other languages- this really says not too much on whether or not he can be autistic- as autistic children can (and often are) very bright and very routine driven.

i would recommend that you do a bit of research on your own and go over the symptoms of autism a bit with your wife, just to familiarize yourself with what the teacher is getting at. is he hellbent on following the same routines, is he able to parallel play but not interactive play, etc. most parents i know that have a child who is autistic to some degree have themselves first noticed a particular behavior or issue that made them feel something was a bit different, and i am a full believer that parental instincts can be very good determiners of issues, though of course not the end all.

lastly, whether he has autism or not, holding him back due to this (or a glum face) won't really amount to anything- if he is on grade level for academics now and his language skills are good, it will only bridge the gap between him and his peers and if it is autism, being held back wouldn't change the behavior or social issues that are involved. regardless, it's the teachers job to differentiate her teaching style and classwork to all of her students accordingly and know about any issues where students are sensitive- be it socially, academically, etc. not a huge movement for this exists here, but this is the only thing that will show a result in most cases- there is no medication that is given specifically for autism though i have seen huge results in one on one and small group work regarding behavior and social and developmental issues.

regardless, i would probably take him to a doctor just to have a check and have some info for the teacher on what a professional or someone trained specifically in child development thinks.
best of luck

all of us are autistic from time to time
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Old 09.11.2011, 17:25
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Re: Problem at my son's school - advice needed

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all of us are autistic from time to time
it's quite true, that's why it's considered a spectrum. to what degree the symptoms exist...
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Old 09.11.2011, 22:10
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Re: Problem at my son's school - advice needed

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It is often the case that the biggest bully in the class room is the teacher; I've witnessed the coping mechanisms of many teachers with regard to pupil management and the management of difficult pupils.

Predominantly the teacher will either ignore or intimidate the difficult pupil into submission, a pupil who is ignored will eventually give up asking questions, and a pupil who is intimidated will be scared to ask for help, this produces a non-responsive child that is easy to manage by a lazy teacher, but also one that is failed by the education system.

I like to call it the 'French foreign legion' style of man management, the teacher will select a child (generally a perceived trouble maker) and make an example of him/her, the teacher's initial humiliation is then off loaded to the pupil's peers, who persecute the child leaving the teacher blameless.

Often teachers do not understand that children are emotionally unprepared for the brow-beating tactics of the world of adults
Wow. This has really struck a chord with me. Sorry for going a bit OT but as I mentioned in an earlier post, my child and I are also dealing with a difficult teacher.

Your description of teacher tactics, JohnnyLaRock, has sent an alarm bell off in my head. In the first week of school, I was dropping my daughter at the classroom door and explained to the teacher that we didn't have her new text book. It had gone missing. She barked at me "is her name on the book" and I kept it light and said I'd not had the chance to do it yet. She left us both standing at the door, marched to the front of the class, called all the children to attention and proceeded to give a lecture that, like she'd alreadeady told them, everyone has to tell their parents to put their names on their books. My child turned to me and burst into hysterical crying (she was 5 years old at the time). The teacher completely ignored us. I, of course, hugged my daughter and reassured her that it was my fault we'd lost the book and not to worry as we'd find it and it would all be OK. I then had to send my child into that poisonous environment and walk away.

The teacher sends almost daily notes home about my child's lack of progress and how slow she is in getting her work done. She often holds her back from snack breaks, gym classes or art classes and makes her finish other work (she apparently does this with other children too). I give my child the same work here at home (30 calculations for example) and she flies through them, and even takes the time to double check to make sure they are correct. I just don't see a child who is apparently slow and making continual mistakes. Why can she do it easily at home but not at school?

Many other incidents like this have also left me feeling very uncomfortable.

So thanks everyone in this thread. I was unsure before of the way forward, but it now seems very obvious that I have to get my kid out of that environment. MusicChick's suggestion of a few weeks in a parallel class to see how she behaves is brilliant. I am going to suggest it happens before the Christmas break.

I seriously feel so much better after reading the above responses. THANK YOU everyone, and thank OP for starting the thread.
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Old 09.11.2011, 22:30
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Re: Problem at my son's school - advice needed

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The teacher sends almost daily notes home about my child's lack of progress and how slow she is in getting her work done.
Harassment. Copy these notes and call an appointment with the doyenne of that school, send a letter first that you need to get some information on assessing progress and what can you as a parent do better to help, ask for explanation, as a foreigner. Be positive, apologize for causing troubles and for not being super on top of the procedure here and how the hierarchy works in terms of who you need to see if you have questions on methodology and possible support of immigrant kids. They cannot refuse you. Then, when the meeting happens, it will be the class teacher there, most probably, doyenne, etc. Just keep it light hearted and mention that there is too much pressure with these daily negative comments and daily "ratrappage" if she really makes your kiddo sit in longer than what one période is, and tell them that what seems constant pressure slows your child down. It's the way things are presented that will do the trick. Nobody can refuse a parent who is calmly asking for info. But holy war and edgy attitude will kill the case, really.
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Old 09.11.2011, 22:39
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Re: Problem at my son's school - advice needed

Don't let anybody tell you how your child is. He's your child and you know better than anybody else. You instinctively know.
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Old 09.11.2011, 22:41
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Re: Problem at my son's school - advice needed

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Harassment. Copy these notes and call an appointment with the doyenne of that school, send a letter first that you need to get some information on assessing progress and what can you as a parent do better to help, ask for explanation, as a foreigner. Be positive, apologize for causing troubles and for not being super on top of the procedure here and how the hierarchy works in terms of who you need to see if you have questions on methodology and possible support of immigrant kids. They cannot refuse you. Then, when the meeting happens, it will be the class teacher there, most probably, doyenne, etc. Just keep it light hearted and mention that there is too much pressure with these daily negative comments and daily "ratrappage" if she really makes your kiddo sit in longer than what one période is, and tell them that what seems constant pressure slows your child down. It's the way things are presented that will do the trick. Nobody can refuse a parent who is calmly asking for info. But holy war and edgy attitude will kill the case, really.
Great advice MC...and that's exactly what we did a few weeks ago. The doyenne has been super supportive and is the only saving grace in the situation. I have raised with her once before the possibility of moving my girl out of the class but backed off because things started to improve (but have since gone back to the same old pattern) and my daughter seemed happy enough at school.

Your idea of a trial run in another class is a great compromise. I'd be really interested to see if she does better with a different teacher. She has an after school music teacher and ballet teacher and I have questioned both on how she behaves and their impressions. Both said she is a good student. In fact, the ballet teacher has moved her up with older kids because she seemed capable of learning harder material. The only negative feedback I ever get is from this one teacher...and unfortunately, the one she spends most of her time with.
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