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Old 22.12.2011, 12:36
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Re: Amount of pocket money for 15-year old

It's far easier to just give 'stuff' rather than to make them earn to buy their own 'stuff' we had a mutiny on our hands when we introduced our method, now they would not revert to the old way, we have competition to earn and kids love competition.

When it comes to envy in the playground we have told our kids to say

'If I wanted that I'd buy it with my own money, I don't want to play with things my parents bought, that's what kids do, your so uncool' ...
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Old 22.12.2011, 12:36
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Re: Amount of pocket money for 15-year old

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I disagree here because in my mind a visit to starbucks plus a movie and a snack every weekend is a luxury and not a neccessity. It's Ok if you want your kids to do that, but I think it is spoiling them.
Totally agree. And it's a luxury many adults don't even get!
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Old 22.12.2011, 12:40
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Re: Amount of pocket money for 15-year old

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I disagree here because in my mind a visit to starbucks plus a movie and a snack every weekend is a luxury and not a neccessity. It's Ok if you want your kids to do that, but I think it is spoiling them.
I will disown any child of mine who sets foot inside a Starbucks

To qualify what I said above, we also pay for their clothes and if they want to go to the cinema or bowling with their friends etc. They buy themsleves the odd things such as make-up and earrings etc.
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Old 22.12.2011, 12:42
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Re: Amount of pocket money for 15-year old

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So, do we spoil our teen too, and make her happy among her peers, or do we show her the good old value of work and austerity?

In the long run, the latter is probably better, but only if the feeling of inferiority during the teenage years doesn't linger ..

Simon
I went to a high school (U.S.) where many of my classmates drove to school in cars that were cast-offs from their parents. You know, Mercedes, 3 year old Hondas, Audis, that sort of thing. A lot of those kids, especially the girls, got 200 bucks/month or so and that was 20 years ago. Girls seemed to get more as they probably had more sway with Dad and cosmetics are expensive .

There were also some regular working class folks there too, and some downright poor (it was a private school and I think it nearly bankrupted some parents to pay the tuition). These kids either got a few bucks here and there as needed, or saved birthday money from grandparents and such, or a rare few worked part time jobs.

Oddly there was little snobbery or ridicule from the 'rich' kids toward the ones with outdated patched up clothes and no money in their pocket. The snobby kids sort of cast themselves into their own little clique and were avoided by the rest. Maybe it's different here, or times have changed, but I wouldn't worry about peer pressure over material goods with your kids. They might go through phases where having a particular phone or something seems more important than anything else in the world, but the best thing you can do is teach them good values (I know that goes without saying and you already know that ).

Some pocket money is a good thing, and making the kids responsible for it with rules is a good thing. 55 francs seems reasonable if maybe a little low; that's 3 soft drinks out of a machine per week. It's not easy to get part time jobs here as a youngin'; where I come from (and when I come from) it was easy enough to earn money if willing to work, but it seems different here.
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Old 22.12.2011, 12:47
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Re: Amount of pocket money for 15-year old

My 'children' are now 21, 19 and 16, so I have been through these 'difficult' years - okay lots of grey hairs and wrinkles later!!

I have to say I was a parent who dished out the money, they had nice clothes, the latest gear etc etc. This did not teach them the value of money and now they are on their own, earning their own money and having to budget and look after their money. They find it extremely though and look in wonder when I now say 'No'. Now they want money for debts, cars and flats.

So my advice would be you are doing a great job, if your daughter wants more money encourage her to find a job.

I think children want boundaries so they know where you/they stand. They want your time and your love something money cant buy.

Good luck, I've found 16 - 18 the hardest years as a parent!!
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Old 22.12.2011, 12:51
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Re: Amount of pocket money for 15-year old

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My 'children' are now 21, 19 and 16, so I have been through these 'difficult' years - okay lots of grey hairs and wrinkles later!!

I have to say I was a parent who dished out the money, they had nice clothes, the latest gear etc etc. This did not teach them the value of money and now they are on their own, earning their own money and having to budget and look after their money. They find it extremely though and look in wonder when I now say 'No'. Now they want money for debts, cars and flats.

So my advice would be you are doing a great job, if your daughter wants more money encourage her to find a job.

I think children want boundaries so they know where you/they stand. They want your time and your love something money cant buy.

Good luck, I've found 16 - 18 the hardest years as a parent!!
Great post !
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Old 22.12.2011, 12:54
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Re: Amount of pocket money for 15-year old

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I disagree here because in my mind a visit to starbucks plus a movie and a snack every weekend is a luxury and not a neccessity. It's Ok if you want your kids to do that, but I think it is spoiling them.
I'm not suggesting they go to the movies and Starbucks every weekend, I was merely pointing out that incidentals cost. A teeny basket of breaded shrimps in Migros is 7 francs, a coke is a few francs.

I can't blame you for thinking that I am suggesting spoiling them, but I never said what I thought would be fair.

A 15 year old is like a raw, exposed nerve and things happen at this age that can carry over, like spoiling or having a sense of inferiority or some other complex. I was brought up poor. I got what now translates to 20 raps a week (the 80's aren't that long ago) I could not ask my father for a coke and I ended up having to pay my own school fees by working as a checkout guy.

I don't think peeling off 20 bucks to give a 15 year old girl when she steps out for the weekend is going to ruin her.
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Old 22.12.2011, 12:55
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Re: Amount of pocket money for 15-year old

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Good luck, I've found 16 - 18 the hardest years as a parent!!
It's earlier nowadays... as a teacher, I see now 14 y.o. trying to behave like adults, especially girls, and failing miserably because of blind trust in their glamour magazins. By the time they get 16/18 y.o. they almost seem reasonnable by comparaison.
Good news: they want to grow up.
Bad news: their role models are not real, very distorted actually.
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  #29  
Old 22.12.2011, 13:10
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Re: Amount of pocket money for 15-year old

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It's earlier nowadays... as a teacher, I see now 14 y.o. trying to behave like adults, especially girls, and failing miserably because of blind trust in their glamour magazins. By the time they get 16/18 y.o. they almost seem reasonnable by comparaison.
Good news: they want to grow up.
Bad news: their role models are not real, very distorted actually.
It may sound a wee bit dictatorial but we have banned TV and magazines in the house, our girls come home almost ashamed of their friends because they 'love' Justin Bieber etc etc

Because our daughters are not brain-washed, there is nothing more enjoyable to hear them talking about how 'silly' and 'young' their Swiss friends seem...We can live with that !
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Old 22.12.2011, 13:14
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Re: Amount of pocket money for 15-year old

Faltrad .... I agree at 14 they are trying to behave like adults. The stories my daughter would come home with regarding her class mates is not shocking these days, under-age sex, teenage pregnancies, drugs, self harming, running away from home, heavy drinking binges ... I heard it all. This was in the UK and my daughter was 14 at the time.

However, for me, and this was my experience as a parent, the 16 - 18 years was a time when my eldest two found their wings, and I had to hope the parenting I provided, morals and values would hold up in their world. My daughter left home at 16 and went to live with my mother in another town so she could attend college. My eldest son, would go to all night parties and got in trouble with the law. While they live under your roof you do have an amount of control in their lives, when they are 'out in the world' and you no longer know where they are, if they are safe, who's company they are in, this is the time, as a parent, I found most difficult.

I now have a every adult relationship with both my eldest two, I would not be here in Switzerland starting my new life without this
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  #31  
Old 22.12.2011, 13:23
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Re: Amount of pocket money for 15-year old

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My daughter left home at 16
My eldest did as well, I even helped her move, but was back home within a week! (as I expected) Now, at 21, she has been living away since may, ever since she got her license, a car, and a job! (and is living halfway up Valle Maggia)

It's hard for kids here to get a job, McDonald's (etc.) doesn't hire high-school students here as they do in the US and elsewhere.

Tom
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Old 22.12.2011, 13:45
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Re: Amount of pocket money for 15-year old

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I'm not suggesting they go to the movies and Starbucks every weekend, I was merely pointing out that incidentals cost. A teeny basket of breaded shrimps in Migros is 7 francs, a coke is a few francs.

I can't blame you for thinking that I am suggesting spoiling them, but I never said what I thought would be fair.

A 15 year old is like a raw, exposed nerve and things happen at this age that can carry over, like spoiling or having a sense of inferiority or some other complex. I was brought up poor. I got what now translates to 20 raps a week (the 80's aren't that long ago) I could not ask my father for a coke and I ended up having to pay my own school fees by working as a checkout guy.

I don't think peeling off 20 bucks to give a 15 year old girl when she steps out for the weekend is going to ruin her.
I didn't mean to suggest you are spoiling them, more that in my book I would be spoiling them if I did that.
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Old 22.12.2011, 13:46
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Re: Amount of pocket money for 15-year old

Each to their own , but I think the idea of making children understand the value of money and how to budget you have to start somewhere. Our 12 year old is still on nominal 5 CHF per week and then we pay for everything else : this is just enugh to buy a couple of treats a week
Our 14 year old ( boy) asked for allowance : We pay him 125 CHF a month with which we expect him to pay for his use of publilc transport ( we insist we will never pay a fine if he skips a ticket) , socialising with friends ( and yes this is very different from 30 years ago : but we would not have been trading such information like this 30 years ago : life changes...) , and for his major clothes purchases and ski passes if not with us . To receive this he has to stick to his commitments around school work and a few ( and I mean very few) chores. If with us : we pay so this mean he is still occasionally happy to come out with us or to ski with us. In addition he earns a bit of money from other small jobs for friends etc
It is so great to be in a country where public transport allows a level of independence that many in other countries can only dream of : and becoming independent is a rite of passage : understanding money and its value is a key lesson we have to provide : BUT each to his own ..
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Old 22.12.2011, 13:56
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Re: Amount of pocket money for 15-year old

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Hi all
We had a talk yesterday with our 15-year old daughter. She gets CHF 55.- per month of pocket month, to spend on whatever she wants. We still pay for her clothes, phone (prepaid CHF 50.- per month) etc. The talk was heated, she's telling us all her friends get something around 150.- to 200.- per month.
That is excellent training for the entitlement society.

Piece of advice: Make your kids work* for the money. Nothing is free in life and what was free (thanks to populist governments) will soon cease to be free. Winds are blowing in the direction of self-responsibility.

* cutting grass
* washing car
* baby-sitting other kids, etc

I started earning money at 10. Would buy stickers and small toys and resell them at school. Soon afterwards, I realized my saved money was not buying the same quantity of ice cream. That was my 1st contact with inflation. I decided to store money as telephone tokens (which kept up with inflation). Funny stuff.
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Old 22.12.2011, 14:17
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Re: Amount of pocket money for 15-year old

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I don't think peeling off 20 bucks to give a 15 year old girl when she steps out for the weekend is going to ruin her.
what? my sister wasn't even allowed to go out until she was 16! no going out = no need of money. if your daughter has to argue about whether she is even allowed to go out, you'll find that arguing about 55chfs becomes secondary
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Old 22.12.2011, 14:40
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Re: Amount of pocket money for 15-year old

Ours are now 37 and 39 - and we often laugh about it now. I was a typical 60s mum, and they really did put us through t'mill - I wish now I'd been firmer with boundaries when they were 14/15. Thank goodness they've turned out brilliant - but there was a time when it was definitely not easy. Bonne chance.
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Old 22.12.2011, 14:55
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Re: Amount of pocket money for 15-year old

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what? my sister wasn't even allowed to go out until she was 16! no going out = no need of money. if your daughter has to argue about whether she is even allowed to go out, you'll find that arguing about 55chfs becomes secondary
I kinda agree there. I'm 30 now and planning on having children some day.
So first of all, well done on all you parents working on giving a good and fair upbringing to your children.

But the Lifestyle of the teenagers here in Switzerland kinda scares me. When I first had a job in a Pub, I had to struggle with ID checking. There's a bunch of youngsters in our town moving from one Pub to another and binge drinking in the summer. They start getting properly drunk from 15 year-old ! Every year a new generation taking over. Teenagers that cant make it to proper highschool (my german is terrible but u should know what I'm talking about), get a Praktikum done at an early age and on top of their pocket money, earn a little more. That's how youngsters in Switzerland can afford to get drunk and I've seen it. It is the saddest thing ever. If you ask me teenagers + money + no sense of cost of life = trouble.
Why does a 15 year-old need all that money for anyway? To be like the rest? What do the rest need the money for ? All those kids spoilt turn very often into Brats. The difference between being bullied and being ignorantly common is a fine line.

What about getting her and a friend involved in some activity that'll take a lot of her spare time? That'd be money better used for. Without her having the option to get the money instead.

At the end of the day, Kids need money because they get bored and they use that money to entertain themselves howsoever.
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  #38  
Old 22.12.2011, 15:04
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Re: Amount of pocket money for 15-year old

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what? my sister wasn't even allowed to go out until she was 16! no going out = no need of money. if your daughter has to argue about whether she is even allowed to go out, you'll find that arguing about 55chfs becomes secondary
Switzerland is a safe place. I like to see youngsters out and about. I am South African and I think of my my younger sisters who were restricted because it's dangerous and it's sad.

I like to see youngsters enjoying their youth and freedom from danger and they'll need some BAM to do that (Bumming Around Money).

Yes, I think a 15 year old is perfectly safe going out* with friends.

*Going out is not just night time, kids can go out in the day time too :-)
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  #39  
Old 22.12.2011, 15:21
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Re: Amount of pocket money for 15-year old

Why dont you give her the 200.- a month but with the following strings attached.

Breaking curfew means 20.- less each time
Appartment must be hoovered twice per week
Cleaning once per week
Lunches to be paid for herself
Clothes to be paid for herself

It wont be long before she realises that the 200.- wont last 2 weeks and she will be happy to go back to her 55.- a month

Nobody should get anything for free, make her work for it at least
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Old 22.12.2011, 16:10
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Re: Amount of pocket money for 15-year old

200 chufs doesn't buy much blow and alcopops these days.
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