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Old 22.01.2012, 22:38
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new tricks on how to stop feeling lonely?

Yes, it may be hormonal, no, I am not new to Switz, yes, it does happen to lots of us, but can't it made into a bit of fun? How though? Thanks for your advice
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Old 22.01.2012, 22:42
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Re: new tricks on how to stop feeling lonely?

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Yes, it may be hormonal, no, I am not new to Switz, yes, it does happen to lots of us, but can't it made into a bit of fun? How though? Thanks for your advice
more details will help to provide any advise.
male? female?
married? single? in a relationship?
kids?
working?
hobbies doable in Switzerland?

I dont have any family here, separated and 2 kids, so what I do is to go out with my boys as much as I can, talk to my family as much as i can via skype, and when my kids are in the kinder krippe I plan for coffee with the friends I made on EF or attend one of the events.
My hobbie, passion and job is making nails and I do that too.
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Old 22.01.2012, 22:55
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Re: new tricks on how to stop feeling lonely?

Thanks 'Coconut', female, working, no longer married, not sure abt relatioship, no kids, doabke hobbies, friends, but methinks something like a deep, childhood-stemming sense of loneliness at times but maybe it's just the same for everyone....
Lorenza
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Old 22.01.2012, 22:57
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Re: new tricks on how to stop feeling lonely?

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... a bit of fun? ...
Saw Toy Ducks in half and glue the wrong sides together to make zombie ducks.

Well, it's what I do. But I don't use toys.

Whilst wearing a tea cosie as a hat, which is obligatory if you've ever known what it means to be free.

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Old 22.01.2012, 23:06
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Re: new tricks on how to stop feeling lonely?

Speak the local language ? If yes, look up local associations ( Verein ), go for some meetings and activities, and perhaps join as a member. That way, you will bridge yourself with the local community.
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Old 22.01.2012, 23:08
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Re: new tricks on how to stop feeling lonely?

Alcohol + bar/club = not so lonely!

But seriously, sometimes you have to put in the effort to organise catch ups with friends etc. It's not always easy, but usually pays off in the end...
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Old 22.01.2012, 23:13
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Re: new tricks on how to stop feeling lonely?

Doing that, luckily I do know some nice people...thanks for the tip, though
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Old 22.01.2012, 23:14
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Re: new tricks on how to stop feeling lonely?

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Thanks 'Coconut', female, working, no longer married, not sure abt relatioship, no kids, doabke hobbies, friends, but methinks something like a deep, childhood-stemming sense of loneliness at times but maybe it's just the same for everyone....
Lorenza
ok childhood issues huh' I hear yah'
I go to therapy and it helps a lot.
The thing is if you just want to shake the feeling out of you, then there is a lot of things you can do. But if you want to get rid of it therapy should be a good way.
Therapy not necessarily means to go to a psychologist, but there is a lot of people who find their way like yoga, other type of meditation etc.
Now for the mean time, how are you doing with your friend circle?

When I got separated the first thing I did was to work on creating a circle of friends, I went to some EF events, set up some events for moms with kids the same age as mine, went to the parks nearby to meet my neighbors etc etc.

What are your hobbies? perhaps some people of the forum share the same interest, come to one of the events, set up an event if you have something fun in mind. The key is to keep yourself busy during the day. At night make yourself a bath with candles and just relax and enjoy.

Didnt read where are you, but if you ever fancy a coffe I have thursdays and fridays free because the kids go to krippe. Let me know, Im in zurich
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Old 22.01.2012, 23:23
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Re: new tricks on how to stop feeling lonely?

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Alcohol + bar/club = not so lonely!

But seriously, sometimes you have to put in the effort to organise catch ups with friends etc. It's not always easy, but usually pays off in the end...
I second hanging out with locals, since they will really cut you a slack with the lingo, you will learn supersonic speed and learn a lot about loads of other, handy things related to living in here.

Organizing events yourself is another excellent idea, be it craft, or, lately interesting and popular book clubs, hiking, or just getting to know one another, it all works. Even if it does not pick up right away, persistence pays off.
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Old 22.01.2012, 23:24
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Re: new tricks on how to stop feeling lonely?

Hey, join the club. We are all alone inside our skin. People come, they go. Sometimes they come back, more often they leave forever. I don't know the answer either. I guess you can take comfort in knowing you are not alone in feeling alone.
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Old 22.01.2012, 23:29
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Re: new tricks on how to stop feeling lonely?

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I second hanging out with locals, since they will really cut you a slack with the lingo, you will learn supersonic speed and learn a lot about loads of other, handy things related to living in here.

Organizing events yourself is another excellent idea, be it craft, or, lately interesting and popular book clubs, hiking, or just getting to know one another, it all works. Even if it does not pick up right away, persistence pays off.
I reckon that being a local, having lived away and come back, might be part of the problem in sunnily conservative Ticino. Persistence yes, new initiatives require a lot of it down here....
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Old 22.01.2012, 23:32
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Re: new tricks on how to stop feeling lonely?

The only comfort I could provide myself with when I felt lonely was: that loneliness is a state of mind. With time I could change my state of mind and convince myself that I wasn't lonely, I was with me. Crazy as it sounds it helped me a lot. These days I find solitude a blessing and if I need company, I always know where to find it.
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Old 22.01.2012, 23:42
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Re: new tricks on how to stop feeling lonely?

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I reckon that being a local, having lived away and come back, might be part of the problem in sunnily conservative Ticino. Persistence yes, new initiatives require a lot of it down here....
I know, there were times I was stuck in the boonies, absolutely beautiful nature, with fun and quirky residents and be it any other time I would have loved it since I like solitude and can focus better on my interests, studying and important things in life and prefer simplicity and genuinety of people who live in there.

But felt extremely isolated and craved city and warmth of having loads of people around. Even stinky public transport, annoying street solicitors, loud traffic, lines in shops and polluted air. But with people around, bumping into me, occasionally smiling. I think trips and being connected to other locations help. Traveling, go to Japan or Amsterdam, sign up to activities where you have to "deplacer" as they nicely say it here in my boonies. Move around.

Doing team sports is also a fun way to connect and find buddies. Start your own groups, having two at the same time is fun, for example, make a few signs, meet up. Find a teacher and throw an art class in your home, or bake together with other people, etc.

You being local, should be telling us how to hook up here with others ....

Don-t lose hope, it takes longer here than elsewhere, but then, when you do have your selection of groups, friends and activities, it's quality.
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Old 23.01.2012, 02:32
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Re: new tricks on how to stop feeling lonely?

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Yes, it may be hormonal, no, I am not new to Switz, yes, it does happen to lots of us, but can't it made into a bit of fun? How though? Thanks for your advice
Have a look at this blog about expat living in Lugano written by someone whose writing style I enjoy very much as it's upbeat, fun, friendly, lively and informative. (NB: It may take a little while to load up the first page but stay with it as the pictures are lovely).

Often times, I have found that just looking at the website - the layout, pictures, colours, juxtapositioning of the words etc - immediately infuses me with a sense of upliftment each time I visit it and all before I've even read a single word.

There are loads of useful links and suggestions contained there - some you may already know and some you may not.

The writer and her family have now moved onto Paris and which she also blogs about in her own unique and special style.
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Old 23.01.2012, 20:43
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Re: new tricks on how to stop feeling lonely?

Dear Isha,

You have just made my day! I was checking where the pagesviews where coming from and came across your post. Thank you so much for all the positive reinforcement. It makes all the time and energy so worth it!
I am glad you are enjoying my blogs and thrilled you actually recommended my "Expat with kids" blog.
Mille merci. Bisou de Paris, Ingrid
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