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View Poll Results: Is it acceptable to give your child the same name as your best friends child?
Yes 22 56.41%
No 17 43.59%
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  #1  
Old 22.03.2012, 10:21
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Choosing a Baby Name ( OK if same name as friendīs son ? )

I am about to have our second child, we do not know whether it is a boy or a girl yet, we have a name for a girl and a few names for a boy.
However, our favourite name for a boy is also the name of my best friends son, I have loved this name long before my friend had her son.
My best friend is back home, so we see them once or twice a year and speak once or twice a month.

The question is.

Would it be acceptable if we had a son to give it the same name?

What does EF think?
Does anyone have any experience in this, if so how did it go?
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  #2  
Old 22.03.2012, 10:23
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Re: Choosing a Baby Name

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I am about to have our second child, we do not know whether it is a boy or a girl yet, we have a name for a girl and a few names for a boy.
However, our favourite name for a boy is also the name of my best friends son, I have loved this name long before my friend had her son.
My best friend is back home, so we see them once or twice a year and speak once or twice a month.

The question is.

Would it be acceptable if we had a son to give it the same name?

What does EF think?
Ask her and if she has a problem with it, find something else.
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  #3  
Old 22.03.2012, 10:26
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Re: Choosing a Baby Name ( OK if same name as friendīs son ? )

Of course it is ok!
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Old 22.03.2012, 10:29
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Re: Choosing a Baby Name ( OK if same name as friendīs son ? )

yes it's ok. But if you want to ease your mind, tell your friend. Although, what would you do if she said absolutely not! would your friendship be hurt? I would just tell her that you love her child's name, it has been a favorite of yours for a long time and you are considering it for your newcomer. She will feel all proud that you want to name your child after her's
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Old 22.03.2012, 10:33
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Re: Choosing a Baby Name ( OK if same name as friendīs son ? )

Imitation is said to be the sincerest form of flattery.
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Old 22.03.2012, 10:56
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Re: Choosing a Baby Name ( OK if same name as friendīs son ? )

Ask your friend, not us! That's always a tricky one, and the only way is to either choose a different name or open up the conversation.
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  #7  
Old 22.03.2012, 11:02
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Re: Choosing a Baby Name ( OK if same name as friendīs son ? )

Thanks for the replies, of course we would speak with them before hand.
I was just wanting to see what the general thoughts on it were.
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  #8  
Old 22.03.2012, 11:03
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Re: Choosing a Baby Name

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What does EF think?
Does anyone have any experience in this, if so how did it go?
Your friend does not have a copyright on the name. If you like it use it. What are the chances your of friend's child and yours being friends in the future?

Really, who cares. We've had people call and ask us if we were OK with the name of their child - I was like "WTF do I care?" it is your child and you make the choice for the child and yourself not friends, relatives or anyone else. Although I draw the line at Foo-foo-trixibelle.

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Ask her and if she has a problem with it, find something else.
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Ask your friend, not us! That's always a tricky one, and the only way is to either choose a different name or open up the conversation.
Sorry but that's just crazy. The friend doesn't own the name. Why should a parent choose another name for their child?

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Imitation is said to be the sincerest form of flattery.
It isn't imitation. Otherwise where do you draw the line. A name is a name and we are all individuals...
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Old 22.03.2012, 11:08
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Re: Choosing a Baby Name ( OK if same name as friendīs son ? )

I don't know the answer to your question. But I'd encourage you to think about it from the perspective of your future son (if the baby turns out to be a boy). How might he feel to have the same name as this other boy? Although you only see your friend occasionally, I assume the meetings seem like special occasions when they happen and your son will no doubt become aware of the ties between your families. He may or not be bothered by the perception that he was named for the other boy.

I read in one of my baby name books that some "research" suggested that kids' self-esteem might suffer if they perceive that they have been named after a living family member. While I'm sceptical about the research, I do think it is worth thinking about.

Good luck with it all! It's a big decision.
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Old 22.03.2012, 11:09
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Re: Choosing a Baby Name ( OK if same name as friendīs son ? )

Depends on several things really;

1) Is it a 'family' name for either yourself or your friend? This might give one of you more of a 'claim' to it.
2) How much older than your new baby is her son? If he's several years older it would be less awkward than if there's only a few months gap.
3) How jealous/possessive is your friend? Only you can decide this one, if you're really not sure then ask!
4) Find out if her son has a second name. Make sure you don't use that as well: Some friends of ours did exactly this to us when naming one of their children..... personally I found it funny as we'd realised too late that the second name is a form of the first and his names mean X, son of X. and we'd honestly thought no-one else would be that thick, but clearly we were wrong!!!!!
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Old 22.03.2012, 11:10
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Re: Choosing a Baby Name ( OK if same name as friendīs son ? )



I would discuss that with her, yes. It's not like you want to name the child something else and then always have that little something in you saying you could have chosen the other name instead. Though I wouldn't start the conversation as if it would be such a big favor for her to "give her blessing" on the name... Anyway, avoiding misunderstandings and situations like the one in the video is always important in a relationship.

Can we know the name? I can promise right here and now in front of the forum that I won't baptize my possible future child with that (unless it's Thomas or Benjamin, as I really like both names!)
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Old 22.03.2012, 11:15
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Re: Choosing a Baby Name ( OK if same name as friendīs son ? )

We did it, didn't even ask if they were happy with it beforehand.

To be honest, it's not a big deal for them, or for us. We couldn't even think of reasons why it could be.
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Old 22.03.2012, 11:15
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Re: Choosing a Baby Name ( OK if same name as friendīs son ? )

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...He may or not be bothered by the perception that he was named for the other boy...


Who said anything about being named "for the other boy".

The OP said she liked the name before.

OK - looking at the posts, there's clearly a male-female divide on this one...
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Old 22.03.2012, 11:24
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Re: Choosing a Baby Name ( OK if same name as friendīs son ? )

call your child what you want - you may lose your friend but then the problem goes away

We had names for a boy and a girl planned for years in advance. The irony? We picked a completely different name and then waited to see if it "fit" the child that popped out one day....!

So for a child born early in the year, we had a domain name from six months earlier and the name did "fit" (thankfully)

You might actually find that your baby inspires you to take a name for them......

Last edited by Sean Connery; 22.03.2012 at 11:27. Reason: my perception of time was rather wrong...
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Old 22.03.2012, 11:25
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Re: Choosing a Baby Name ( OK if same name as friendīs son ? )

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Who said anything about being named "for the other boy".
No one, granted. But it's still possible that the boys might have this perception, even if they are told otherwise. Somehow kids don't always think what you want them to think, unfortunately.

Anyway my main point is that in my opinion what the friend thinks is not as important as what the future-baby-person thinks. Of course none of us can know that in advance, but at least the OP knows the most about the relationship between these two families and has the best chance of guessing how things might develop.
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Old 22.03.2012, 11:30
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Re: Choosing a Baby Name ( OK if same name as friendīs son ? )

For what it's worth, my mom had a name in mind for me and changed it at the last minute because......the child born at the same time was given the same Christian name.

Not even a friend!!!

So call your kid what you want. I'd never have been called, ahem, Sean, had mom been so sensitive.
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Old 22.03.2012, 11:31
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Re: Choosing a Baby Name ( OK if same name as friendīs son ? )

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Anyway my main point is that in my opinion what the friend thinks is not as important as what the future-baby-person thinks. Of course none of us can know that in advance, but at least the OP knows the most about the relationship between these two families and has the best chance of guessing how things might develop.
Thanks, that goes a good way to explaining why I voted 'no'. Think of the child, not yourselves...
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Old 22.03.2012, 11:38
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Re: Choosing a Baby Name ( OK if same name as friendīs son ? )

Funny, I wouldn't do it, but I don't know if I could explain why.

I guess, mainly for the sake of clarity. Let's say the name you like is George. People would have to refer to him as Candle's George, as opposed to X's George (insert your friend's name here) when you are around your friend's family.

There must be another name you like
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Old 22.03.2012, 11:46
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Re: Choosing a Baby Name ( OK if same name as friendīs son ? )

I also wouldn't do it. And to be perfectly honest I wouldnt my friend to do it to me although I'd probably bottle that up for the sake of the friendship.
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Old 22.03.2012, 11:47
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Re: Choosing a Baby Name ( OK if same name as friendīs son ? )

I really doubt a child would be psychologically scarred because the child of a friend has the same name. Especially if it is a "popular" name. People might just accuse you of not being original
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