Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Help & tips > Family matters/health  
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #21  
Old 11.06.2012, 12:11
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Greater Zόrich Area
Posts: 995
Groaned at 130 Times in 81 Posts
Thanked 811 Times in 432 Posts
EPMike has a reputation beyond reputeEPMike has a reputation beyond reputeEPMike has a reputation beyond reputeEPMike has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

Quote:
View Post
I know. That's why I wrote what I wrote. In the UK most people use the excuse of not being able to afford a wedding for not getting married.
That is then a different subject (for a different thread)
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 11.06.2012, 21:25
hayleyob's Avatar
Member
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Morges VD
Posts: 249
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 94 Times in 68 Posts
hayleyob has earned some respecthayleyob has earned some respect
Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

wow I don't think its scabby.. none of the weddings I have been to have you been expected to contribute in your gift towards the food.. many of the couples as you say have house things so have asked either for charity donations or travel vouchers so they could arrange a honey moon oh and they mainly were nameless there was a postbox for the gifts and a table for the cards..
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank hayleyob for this useful post:
  #23  
Old 11.06.2012, 23:19
Uncle Max's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Zόri
Posts: 7,553
Groaned at 164 Times in 105 Posts
Thanked 8,424 Times in 3,486 Posts
Uncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond reputeUncle Max has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

+1 for Not Scabby.

I was asked for cash in lieu of a box with a present inside recently and exchanged it for the local currency of where the couple were going on honeymoon. They were delighted. Also, it looked a greater quantity in foreign currency than local, ha.

Quote:
View Post
I believe that even though the "habit" of giving money (enough to cover the costs) as a wedding present does not sounds too good, the benefit is that the couple can afford to have a nice wedding without financial burden. Coming from a country where most people could not afford a wedding otherwise, I think money as a wedding "present" is the best present of all, because this way the guest actually give the couple the opportunity of a nice wedding as a present and I truly believe there could be no nicer present than that.
It's getting more and more expensive to be a guest. I recently spent CHFthousands on an invitation, including the stag weekend - what happened to a night in a local pub? - flights and accomodation, taxis, hirecar, new tie and shirt plus gift. Can't be doing that for every Happy Couple only to have them split up three years later.

"Can I have that Thai Bhat back please, seeing as you're no longer speaking to each other?"

Didn't even get a live band but a crappy Best Of cd at the party...
__________________
Wave ¦ Synthpop ¦ 80's ¦ Alternative ¦ Party ¦ Sat 24.03 Provitreff Zurich
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank Uncle Max for this useful post:
  #24  
Old 13.06.2012, 01:12
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CH
Posts: 1,038
Groaned at 244 Times in 117 Posts
Thanked 699 Times in 434 Posts
Bucentaure is considered a nuisanceBucentaure is considered a nuisanceBucentaure is considered a nuisance
Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

Quote:
View Post
I believe that even though the "habit" of giving money (enough to cover the costs) as a wedding present does not sounds too good, the benefit is that the couple can afford to have a nice wedding without financial burden.
...
True. Thinking of weddings in Southern Italy, considering you can easily pay a five-figure euro amount already in the north, can really make it a problem (if I don't remember it wrong, families ship in also for the guests staying in hotels).

Hence the need of some diplomacy and friends taking over guidance and control if the couple is from different cultural background, sometimes.


If the couple's parents are quite wealthy I think a good solution could be "let's do it big, parents pay for everything"; but the problem keeps on being a big issue if there isn't enough dough. Maybe one could reach an agreement of the type "Keep it big, but let's do it yourself or let your friends/family do it by themselves". Otherwise downsizing. What is not an easy task in certain cultures where one cannot simply go to Las Vegas and that's it. Or not celebrate at all. Or no wedding.


300 Euro/franks imho for family/close friends in Germany is OK,


in Italy it would hardly be enough to cover expenses at all.
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 13.06.2012, 10:42
Phil_MCR's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Basel
Posts: 14,776
Groaned at 284 Times in 189 Posts
Thanked 18,665 Times in 7,843 Posts
Phil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond reputePhil_MCR has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

wow. i'd never heard of giving money at weddings before. maybe gifts, but cash seems a bit strange
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 13.06.2012, 11:18
Dack Rambo's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Switzerland
Posts: 3,006
Groaned at 208 Times in 127 Posts
Thanked 1,951 Times in 963 Posts
Dack Rambo has an excellent reputationDack Rambo has an excellent reputationDack Rambo has an excellent reputationDack Rambo has an excellent reputation
Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

Quote:
View Post
True. Thinking of weddings in Southern Italy, considering you can easily pay a five-figure euro amount already in the north, can really make it a problem (if I don't remember it wrong, families ship in also for the guests staying in hotels).

Hence the need of some diplomacy and friends taking over guidance and control if the couple is from different cultural background, sometimes.


If the couple's parents are quite wealthy I think a good solution could be "let's do it big, parents pay for everything"; but the problem keeps on being a big issue if there isn't enough dough. Maybe one could reach an agreement of the type "Keep it big, but let's do it yourself or let your friends/family do it by themselves". Otherwise downsizing. What is not an easy task in certain cultures where one cannot simply go to Las Vegas and that's it. Or not celebrate at all. Or no wedding.


300 Euro/franks imho for family/close friends in Germany is OK,


in Italy it would hardly be enough to cover expenses at all.
How much are you expected to pay in Italy? 300 euro already seems a lot to me
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Dack Rambo for this useful post:
  #27  
Old 13.06.2012, 12:16
tesso's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: zurich
Posts: 456
Groaned at 22 Times in 7 Posts
Thanked 279 Times in 152 Posts
tesso is considered knowledgeabletesso is considered knowledgeabletesso is considered knowledgeable
Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

At my wedding (33 years ago) we were really pleased with 2 hand towelsand a silver plated tablespoon.
What happened to the good old days.
I think for the evening only 100fr would be enough
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 13.06.2012, 12:40
Kristanez's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Home and native land
Posts: 600
Groaned at 4 Times in 4 Posts
Thanked 589 Times in 252 Posts
Kristanez has a reputation beyond reputeKristanez has a reputation beyond reputeKristanez has a reputation beyond reputeKristanez has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

Another angle on this, is that giving gifts is one of the major ways of showing love. It's not everyone's love language style, and should never be a requirement, but I delighted in spending money on my friends who were getting married as it was one more way to say I love you two! That said I had to budget for it, and the price range really fit the stage in life I was at (student) versus what it is correct etiquette-wise.

And you know, after doing that for years, I had no problems or guilty-conscious hoping that we would get some money in return when it was our turn. When you're truly starting a household it REALLY helps. There WERE people we didn't invite because it was just too expensive and you have to draw the line somewhere. Anyhow, I guess I just wanted to say that there is a practical element to the gift-giving at weddings too.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Kristanez for this useful post:
  #29  
Old 13.06.2012, 13:36
JLF JLF is offline
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Zurich
Posts: 1,187
Groaned at 10 Times in 8 Posts
Thanked 1,383 Times in 510 Posts
JLF has a reputation beyond reputeJLF has a reputation beyond reputeJLF has a reputation beyond reputeJLF has a reputation beyond reputeJLF has a reputation beyond reputeJLF has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

Quote:
View Post
wow. i'd never heard of giving money at weddings before. maybe gifts, but cash seems a bit strange
It does seem a bit strange...until you are in the shoes of the bride/groom asking for cash. I find giving cash strange...and asking for cash even more so.

However, I have a "friend" who is getting married soon and the wedding spans three continents! They are getting married in one, living in another, and family/friends are coming from three. In this case, it is most practical to ask for nothing (which they have done). As many have said, "let your presence at the wedding be your present to the bride/groom". But we all know that many people do not feel comfortable not bringing something. So the couple has asked for cash in these cases (anonymously given or not, whichever is preferred by the guest)...and has set up an account where the money will be saved until they decide where they will "settle down". Then the money will be used to help set up house (as a gift was "traditionally" given to do so).

In general, with regards to cash, I think it definitely helps to let people know that their money is going to something meaningful and won't just be used for "everyday living expenses".

But in terms of wedding etiquette, anytime you are invited to a wedding, whether you are going or not, a card of congratulations/well wishes IS expected....what you put inside is entirely personal and completely up to you!

Last edited by JLF; 13.06.2012 at 13:52.
Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 13.06.2012, 14:05
Senior Member
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: AG
Posts: 333
Groaned at 6 Times in 1 Post
Thanked 107 Times in 79 Posts
Wakey is considered knowledgeableWakey is considered knowledgeableWakey is considered knowledgeable
Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

Although I also don't like giving cash, and I don't feel in any way obliged to cover the wedding costs, I do think it is good to know what is common in order not to come accross as an ignorant foreigner or cheapskate. In my experience the Swiss are usually pretty generous when it comes to giving gifts or cash.

A few years ago, when I did not have any experience with Swiss weddings I did some research and found out that if you're invited to a wedding reception/apero, 25-50 CHF per person is acceptable. For the whole day incl. dinner, it starts at 100 CHF/person but 150-200 is more common. The sky is the limit here, close friends and family might give even more. This is also what I experienced at my own wedding.

Therefore I think 300 EUR is just right, it probably won't make you stand out but it is certainly not scabby either.
Reply With Quote
  #31  
Old 13.06.2012, 14:15
Dack Rambo's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Switzerland
Posts: 3,006
Groaned at 208 Times in 127 Posts
Thanked 1,951 Times in 963 Posts
Dack Rambo has an excellent reputationDack Rambo has an excellent reputationDack Rambo has an excellent reputationDack Rambo has an excellent reputation
Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

I gave $1000 to a family member getting married in the US
Reply With Quote
  #32  
Old 13.06.2012, 15:26
Vlh22's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: UK, formerly Vaud
Posts: 1,319
Groaned at 3 Times in 3 Posts
Thanked 1,983 Times in 642 Posts
Vlh22 has a reputation beyond reputeVlh22 has a reputation beyond reputeVlh22 has a reputation beyond reputeVlh22 has a reputation beyond reputeVlh22 has a reputation beyond reputeVlh22 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

I have only given cash as a wedding gift once, and it was a wedding here in Switzerland. The couple in question were actually going to be living in the UK and in the invitations they said something along the lines of "We don't want any gifts, but if you do wish to give us something cash would be more preferable as we are flying back to the UK after the wedding." So I gave them my gift in pounds sterling. But seeing the sums on here I must be very stingy!

I was once invited to a wedding in Spain. All of us coming from the UK were told very clearly before the wedding that although guests at weddings in that part of Spain would generally contribute towards the meal (by buying a piece of the bride's veil or the groom's tie as a keepsake), we should not feel obligated to do so as we had already paid for flights and hotels to get there.

I was invited to five weddings a few years ago. I was too ill and too poor to get to four of them, but I wanted to give gifts. I made each couple a clock, and each design was different based on what I felt that couple would appreciate. They seemed to like the thought.
Reply With Quote
  #33  
Old 13.06.2012, 16:04
drmom's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Somewhere in SG
Posts: 2,341
Groaned at 12 Times in 12 Posts
Thanked 2,187 Times in 1,050 Posts
drmom has a reputation beyond reputedrmom has a reputation beyond reputedrmom has a reputation beyond reputedrmom has a reputation beyond reputedrmom has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

Quote:
View Post
How about looking at it from the other perspective: When You got married, your friends and relatives joined your celebration because it was a nice way of having a free/ cheap lunch?
Therefore I truly believe the present you give should at least cover their costs.
Maybe I don't understand your point, but I certainly hope my friends did not come to my wedding for a cheap/free lunch. Or dinner...

I personally think 300€ is too much and I would feel guilty/bad if someone gave me that much who wasn't an older well off family member! I think 100 - 200€ should be enough. But I guess I am cheap...

Also, I sometimes think that if I don't go to the wedding maybe I should give more as I don't have all those other costs (dress, hotel, flight, and the list goes on), but somehow I guess I have never done so!

How 'bout high school graduation present? Our former neighbor in the US is graduating and I would like to give her a gift of cash, not sure what amount is appropriate!
Reply With Quote
  #34  
Old 13.06.2012, 16:10
MacGregor's Daughter's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Zug
Posts: 3,169
Groaned at 31 Times in 23 Posts
Thanked 3,563 Times in 1,463 Posts
MacGregor's Daughter has a reputation beyond reputeMacGregor's Daughter has a reputation beyond reputeMacGregor's Daughter has a reputation beyond reputeMacGregor's Daughter has a reputation beyond reputeMacGregor's Daughter has a reputation beyond reputeMacGregor's Daughter has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

Quote:
View Post
wow. i'd never heard of giving money at weddings before. maybe gifts, but cash seems a bit strange
At traditional Jewish weddings that's all you get - money. And I don't think it is such a bad idea, because usually the bride and groom are young and need to buy everything for the new household. So they can pick and chose what they would like and not put up with some ugly stuff you have to keep because it was given to you.

I would also say 100 SFR is enough.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
cash, money, wedding, wedding gifts




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How much tax do you pay? Gamebuwa Finance/banking/taxation 33 03.04.2012 12:56
How much do you save a month Pretty_in_pink Daily life 8 12.03.2012 11:55
How much pension do you pay?? cricketer Employment 9 31.08.2010 12:41
How do you give away your Britishness? raincookie Daily life 262 05.11.2009 18:26
Not so new, but hope you all grow to love Switzerland as much as I do. Krissy Introductions 3 08.04.2007 23:08


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 02:38.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0