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Old 11.06.2012, 09:20
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Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

Honest answers please.

If the wedding is of a close friend/family member how much money is 'acceptable'? If its an evening invitation, how much do you put in?

I thought, you cover your meal and some extra so for most venues, that would be 300 € in a card for a couple? For an evening invitation, 150 €?

I was told today at work, this was scabby... I though it was generous.

I have 6 weddings this year...
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Old 11.06.2012, 09:41
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Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

I think your numbers are about right. What was the person who said it was scabby expecting?

I think it does depend on where you are in life as well. If you were young, and either in or just out of college (i.e. just starting out) I would expect even less than this. In fact anything would be acceptable.

Some older, well set types may contribute more but I would certainly see that as generous.

I know the general rule is to cover your meal but in the end you dont have a wedding to make a profit or even break even.

I am sure you haven't been invited because of your ability to pay so give what you feel comfortable with and I am sure your friends will appreciate it.
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Old 11.06.2012, 09:42
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Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

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Honest answers please.

I thought, you cover your meal and some extra so for most venues, that would be 300 € in a card for a couple? For an evening invitation, 150 €?
I'm truly not being snarky here, this is an honest answer.

One invites a guest to wedding because one wishes to share the joy of the day. One attends a wedding because one wishes to honor the couple, their families, and share the joy of the day.

One does not expect a guest to 'cover the cost of a meal', or anything else. One does not give a gift depending on the type/cost of celebration one attends.

I don't know where this notion started - a wedding is a celebration, a party - not a paid event.

A guest gives a gift out of his or her heart. Give whatever feels right to you. And be sure to give the happy couple your very warmest wishes for a happy life together..
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Old 11.06.2012, 09:47
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Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

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I'm truly not being snarky here, this is an honest answer.

One invites a guest to wedding because one wishes to share the joy of the day. One attends a wedding because one wishes to honor the couple, their families, and share the joy of the day.

One does not expect a guest to 'cover the cost of a meal', or anything else. One does not give a gift depending on the type/cost of celebration one attends.

I don't know where this notion started - a wedding is a celebration, a party - not a paid event.

A guest gives a gift out of his or her heart. Give whatever feels right to you. And be sure to give the happy couple your very warmest wishes for a happy life together..
Absolutely correct, I would think 300Euro a couple is well above the expected amount. I am sure they will appreciate whatever amount you feel comfortable giving. The have invited you to celebrate with them!!
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Old 11.06.2012, 10:06
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Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

When I got married, we got about CHF 500.- from older couples, about CHF 250 from middle-agers and from our young friends smaller thoughts of around CHF 80.-. My bride's maid did not deem it necessary to make us a gift, but that's another story....

When hubby and I are invited to a wedding now, we usually give around 200 to 300 CHF.
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Old 11.06.2012, 10:11
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Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

Also, to ease your worries a little, no one will even remember what you gave in a month or two (especially when it is cash) unless it was unexpectedly high, or miserly low.
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Old 11.06.2012, 10:13
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Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

Wow, I'll just have to marry again!
When we got married, we invited as many people as we could afford to 'wine and dine' because we wanted them to celebrate our wedding with us. Presents from them were a plus. Shows how times change and how long we've been married.

We have been invited to two weddings in the near future and if I'm 'expected' to cough up a certain sum (in addition to buying something other than hiking trousers to wear) I'll soon be forced to think seriously about turning such invitations down.
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Old 11.06.2012, 10:23
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Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

Jelmoli gift card = 250 or 300 chf and that's it!


Oops, you are in Laussane...than you can find some brand-store.

Last edited by NewOneINseefeld; 11.06.2012 at 10:38.
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Old 11.06.2012, 10:30
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Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

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Wow, I'll just have to marry again!
When we got married, we invited as many people as we could afford to 'wine and dine' because we wanted them to celebrate our wedding with us. Presents from them were a plus. Shows how times change and how long we've been married.

We have been invited to two weddings in the near future and if I'm 'expected' to cough up a certain sum (in addition to buying something other than hiking trousers to wear) I'll soon be forced to think seriously about turning such invitations down.

You make it sound like people nowadays invite you to make profit. I don't think that's very nice as I believe that bride and groom still invite their friends and family for exactly the same reasons as you did and secondly, it's probably wrong (even with getting some generous gifts, they probably won't make any profit).
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Old 11.06.2012, 10:32
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Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

I suppose with many couples co-habiting prior to marriage; or previously already having been through the wringer, the need for crockery, cutlery and toasters is now superfluous, impractical and cash is now the preferred option.

Unfortunately face value worth cannot be disguised, as could clever purchasing from a gift list, in the past.

Have you considered a semi- or precious-metal/limited edition coin or collection.

They have a value that can be realised, if required, and may increase in value in time ...... but may be a bit more subtle than a white envelop containing a wad.

http://www.muenzhandel-ortner.de/New...hte::2798.html

Disclaimer: site picked at random; I have no idea of the current price of gold, so don't know if this specific item is suitable - but alternatives are available.
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Old 11.06.2012, 10:38
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Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

I believe that even though the "habit" of giving money (enough to cover the costs) as a wedding present does not sounds too good, the benefit is that the couple can afford to have a nice wedding without financial burden. Coming from a country where most people could not afford a wedding otherwise, I think money as a wedding "present" is the best present of all, because this way the guest actually give the couple the opportunity of a nice wedding as a present and I truly believe there could be no nicer present than that.

Theoretically, saying that "guests are invited to share the joy and not to finance their own meal" is correct, but when the difference is can the couple afford to have a wedding or not, then the theory stays what it is: just a nice theory.
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Old 11.06.2012, 10:42
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Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

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Wow, I'll just have to marry again!
When we got married, we invited as many people as we could afford to 'wine and dine' because we wanted them to celebrate our wedding with us. Presents from them were a plus. Shows how times change and how long we've been married.

We have been invited to two weddings in the near future and if I'm 'expected' to cough up a certain sum (in addition to buying something other than hiking trousers to wear) I'll soon be forced to think seriously about turning such invitations down.
How about looking at it from the other perspective: When You got married, your friends and relatives joined your celebration because it was a nice way of having a free/ cheap lunch?
Therefore I truly believe the present you give should at least cover their costs.
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Old 11.06.2012, 10:46
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Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

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Honest answers please.

If the wedding is of a close friend/family member how much money is 'acceptable'? If its an evening invitation, how much do you put in?

I thought, you cover your meal and some extra so for most venues, that would be 300 € in a card for a couple? For an evening invitation, 150 €?

I was told today at work, this was scabby... I though it was generous.

I have 6 weddings this year...
Give as much or as little as you can afford. If people are not grateful for a gift, then you have to ask yourself what kind of person they are.

For the record, we asked for no gifts and told people if they really had to they could give to charities. People still gave us presents, some to charity and some to both!

Cheapest one we got was probably a bread board. 10 years later it is still getting daily use. I bet that cost nowhere near as much as 50 CHF, let alone 150 or 300...

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... Coming from a country where most people could not afford a wedding otherwise...
<snip>
...can the couple afford to have a wedding or not...
Where do you come from Mike? Just curious, as people in the UK often spout the line "we'd get married, but we can't afford it" crap. Getting married doesn't cost much. Having a fancy dress, clothes to match, a big party etc. etc. does. Depends a little on prioties really... But that's the UK.
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Old 11.06.2012, 10:49
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Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

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You make it sound like people nowadays invite you to make profit. I don't think that's very nice as I believe that bride and groom still invite their friends and family for exactly the same reasons as you did and secondly, it's probably wrong (even with getting some generous gifts, they probably won't make any profit).
and, still old-fashioned me, if I thought they might make a greater loss if I attended, I might even have a guilty conscience about going!

As, in Switzerland, the majority of the guests don't attend the actual 'I do' part of the marriage and many of the folk who 'marry' in church are not church-goers anyway, an idea I have several times enjoyed, was a wedding meal (paid for, in good old-fahsioned English manner, by the bride's parents) with just the happy couple, their witnesses, parents and very close family and closest friends after the official ceremony with a bigger do held later. This can be a 'buffet meal' with folk bringing food themselves - who brings what being organised beforehand. These occasions were easy-going and great fun with far less stress than on the wedding day itself. As I could then wear my hiking trousers (the second event was held in the mountains) everyone was happy!

Later: I've no problem with cash as a wedding gift though, I just don't like the idea of the sum given being connected with the 'cost of the event'. In our case, the couple have usually said what they would like the money to go towards and sent a photo after they have bought it. Great idea when the object is far too expensive for a single gift. As TiMow said, mostly the couple have the basics of everyday living; if they haven't actually been co-habiting for very long, they might even have things double!
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Last edited by Longbyt; 11.06.2012 at 11:09. Reason: added last paragraph
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Old 11.06.2012, 11:08
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Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

I find it sad that people don't give gifts any more and take the easy way out with cash. The best wedding gift that we got was a set of hand sewn pillow cases. I remember clearly who gave them to us and how touched I was by the gesture and I have a very vague recollection how much money other guests gave us. I don't deny the practical value of cash but I think I would still prefer something special if I had a choice.
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Old 11.06.2012, 11:13
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Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

The amount sounds about right/very generous. Definitely not scabby.

In my wedding this year im not expecting gifts or money from family or friends. Having them there for me is enough
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Old 11.06.2012, 11:17
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Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

Well I got married here last week and were so surprised at the presents we got. We didn't have a list and have been living together for a while so weren't in great need of anything for the house so we said just cards please. In cash we ended up getting over CHF 5000 and in vouchers (cinema, coop, manor etc probably about another 500 or so). This is VERY much appreciated but in no means were we expecting anything from anyone. We had my family from Scotland, England and Germany and His from Switzerland so all the families together were just priceless. Even reuiniting 3 brothers who haven't seen each other in nearly 30 years.... So if they are the kind of people who know you well and want to stay friends they will appreciate anything you give them.
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Old 11.06.2012, 12:04
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Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

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Where do you come from Mike? Just curious, as people in the UK often spout the line "we'd get married, but we can't afford it" crap. Getting married doesn't cost much. Having a fancy dress, clothes to match, a big party etc. etc. does. Depends a little on prioties really... But that's the UK.
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Coming from a country where most people could not afford a wedding otherwise.
.

Getting married and a wedding is not the same. I have heard a lot of people from cultures where money as gift for a wedding is sort of tabu saying "we wish we could have had a nice wedding when we got married, but we didn't have the money for it".
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Old 11.06.2012, 12:06
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Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

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I find it sad that people don't give gifts any more and take the easy way out with cash. The best wedding gift that we got was a set of hand sewn pillow cases. I remember clearly who gave them to us and how touched I was by the gesture and I have a very vague recollection how much money other guests gave us. I don't deny the practical value of cash but I think I would still prefer something special if I had a choice.
I respectfully disagree:

People giving cash DO give gifts (as I wrote before): the gift is the wedding the couple can thus afford.

I invite you to name a better gift.
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Old 11.06.2012, 12:07
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Re: Cash as a wedding gift – how much do you give?

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Getting married and a wedding is not the same. I have heard a lot of people from cultures where money as gift for a wedding is sort of tabu saying "we wish we could have had a nice wedding when we got married, but we didn't have the money for it".
I know. That's why I wrote what I wrote. In the UK most people use the excuse of not being able to afford a wedding for not getting married.
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