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Old 09.07.2012, 09:19
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International Divorce

My husband and I were married in India under the Hindu marriage act first and then under civil law. At that time, he was working in the United States on a H1B (work) visa and I was in India. After our marriage, I moved to the US as well. Our marriage didn't work out and now he's working in Switzerland while I am studying in the United States. He is trying his best to get out of the marriage without giving me any alimony. This despite the fact that I left my career and life to move for him and that I was abused verbally by his family in India and emotionally by him over here. I wanted to know that given where we got married and where we both currently are living, where can he file for a divorce and on what grounds? If I refuse to give him a divorce in any country can he still get one if he files for it? Since, he's in Switzerland (he's been there only for two months) can he get a divorce or file for one there?

I'd appreciate all the help I can get!

Thanks,
Lily
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Old 09.07.2012, 10:10
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Re: International Divorce

I'm sorry about your situation, I'm not a lawyer, but I know if he files in Switzerland, he must be legally separated for 2 years before he can actually get divorce. After that he can just get it without you agreeing to it. So I don't think he will file here.
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Old 09.07.2012, 10:20
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Re: International Divorce

I would suggest you get legal advice or get into contact with a student advice service - if you are studying at a university in the USA they should have advisors to get you started on the process.

I would expect that it would be easier (and probably cheaper) for you to file for divorce in the USA (assuming that you are allowed) - and it would not be in his interest to file in Switzerland because of the waiting period and also because the swiss system will definitely force him to pay a decent amount of money to you.

I'm going to assume (given my limited understanding of the legal situation in India) that it's much more difficult to get a divorce in India, and that your standing would be much lower in terms of the money and process.

You could try to trick him into filing for divorce in Switzerland, but he's going to find out pretty quickly that the system will make him pay money (is he paying you a living allowance?) - and he's not likely to take that option unless he gets poor legal advice or he's sure he'll come out worse under the Indian legal system.
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Old 10.07.2012, 13:18
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Re: International Divorce

Just as coconut pointed out, he can unilaterally file for divorce in Switzerland only if he can prove that you have been separated for at least two years.

He can file for a separation here as he has residence in Switzerland. Since you live in the U.S., the Swiss court would have to seek judicial assistance in the U.S. in order to serve their summons.

In order to increase your chances for obtaining alimony, I (Swiss lawyer) would advise that you seek legal assistance in the US and not in Switzerland (at least not as long he does not commence a proceeding here).
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Old 11.07.2012, 14:50
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Re: International Divorce

I am getting divorce in switzerland . according to swiss law short marriage and if you are young is very difficult to get alimony fron him. I did not ask alimony in my case. but if you have child will be different .
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Old 11.07.2012, 14:55
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Re: International Divorce

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the swiss system will definitely force him to pay a decent amount of money to you
Only if you have children.

Tom
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Old 25.07.2012, 05:33
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Re: International Divorce

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Only if you have children.

Tom
I have been told in my ongoing divorce they can only make them pay what they can afford, so one seems to be able to get out of even that or pay very little if they have other debts. Correct me if I am wrong anybody?
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Old 25.07.2012, 09:36
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Re: International Divorce

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Our marriage didn't work out and now he's working in Switzerland while I am studying in the United States. He is trying his best to get out of the marriage without giving me any alimony. This despite the fact that I left my career and life to move for him and that I was abused verbally by his family in India and emotionally by him over here.
I am very sorry that your marriage did not work out. But let me get this straight: You are getting yourself a higher education at the moment while he is paying for your life... it does not really look like you made a bad deal so far. It seems more like his work visa got you a chance to make an even better career than staying in India... and nobody stops you from going back, right?

What exactly do you believe you deserve any alimony for? Alimonies are not some sort of punishment for abuse - they are a social security to make sure that every woman or man can get a divorce without having to fear too extreme financial hardship. If you do not have kids: Why exactly could you not get a job and would need him to support you?

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Only if you have children.
Hopefully so.
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I have been told in my ongoing divorce they can only make them pay what they can afford, so one seems to be able to get out of even that or pay very little if they have other debts. Correct me if I am wrong anybody?
Even more hopefully so. It sounds logical to me that a man can only be forced to share his actual income and not be driven into financial ruin by some greedy ex.

I always find it bizarre if women at the one hand shout for equal rights but on the other hand expect some carefree life just because they once managed to get some guy sign the marriage papers.
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Old 25.07.2012, 12:12
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Re: International Divorce

I could not agree more with Treverus. Divorce is hasrsh for anyone, including, may I say, for your husband. There is absolutely no moral (and I think legal case) for alimony here: there are no children involved and you sound like a perfectly healthy woman with a past career and an American education ahead of you, which incidentally, your husband should be credited for in big part, as he gave you a free passage to something that many of your compatriots can only dream about, i.e. living and receiving a college education in America, while he worked his ass off to beat the competition from hundreds of thousands of applicants to secure an H1B visa and then bring you across.

As regards 'abuse by his family' and 'emotional abuse' by him, there are always two sides to a story, and I for one refuse to accept your side of the story without listening to his too. Even if that is the case, you should be glad that he wants divorce, and move forward with your life and allow him to live and start a new life too.

Last edited by Mr. Happy; 25.07.2012 at 14:56. Reason: typo
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Old 25.07.2012, 13:11
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Re: International Divorce

The question is whether you want to divorce him or not. And is it "yes" only if he pays you reasonable alimony ?
I am not very sure about laws in India but it is not assured that you will always get a good alimony. It also depends on the time you are married and in what circumstances and why you are filling for divorce.

I do not completely agree to some of the other comments that your husband should be credited for your being able to migrate to America and study there. It is not always a dream for someone to come to America and settle there when there are always lots of important aspects of your life back in your home country.

So I would suggest if you really want a divorce to start afresh life ahead then just file for one where you would easily get one with both of you satisfied (I am ignoring the alimony part) and start your life a fresh again as soon as possible whether in America or India, its your choice and possibilities.

Because I feel that streching such things merly for takign a revenge or other monetery benifits actually makes things worse. And on top of it you are loosing precious time from important phase of your youth.
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Old 25.07.2012, 16:35
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Re: International Divorce

You seem to agree that the marriage did not work out. However you want to grant him only a conditional divorce. I suggest you contact a lawyer in the US as you reside there and get proper advice. A quick check online and there is a lot of discussion and information on this subject. He may also want to reach a quick settlement and you could discuss openly on what you expect from him instead of both parties spending money on lawyers.

BTW : Does he pay for your school fees and living expenses in the US?

"Applicable law: In this case Section 13 and Section 14 of Civil Procedure Code 1908 and Section 13 of Hindu Marriage Act 1955 are mainly enforceable.

"Section 13

When foreign judgment not conclusive.
A foreign judgment shall be conclusive as to any matter thereby directly adjudicated upon between the same parties or between parties under whom they or any of them claim litigating under the same title except-
(a) where it has not been pronounced by a Court of competent jurisdiction;
(b) where it has not been given on the merits of the case;
(c) where it appears on the face of the proceedings to be founded on an incorrect view of international law or a refusal to recognise the law of India in cases in which such law is applicable;
(d) where the proceedings in which the judgment was obtained are opposed to natural justice;
(e) where it has been obtained by fraud;
(f) where it sustains a claim founded on a breach of any law in force in India."

Under Section 13 of CPC a judgment on divorce by US Court will be valid in India. However, this divorce should be given on any of the grounds provided under Indian law. In this Section 13 of Hindu Marriage Act provides for divorce.


Grounds of Divorce under Hindu Marriage Act: Section 13 of Hindu Marriage Act provides following grounds of divorce if one of the spouse:

(i) is living in adultery; or
(ii) by conversion to another religion one of the spouse has ceased to be a Hindu ; or
(iii) has been incurably of unsound mind for a continuous period of not less than three years immediately preceding the presentation of the petition; or
(iv) has, for a period of not less than three years immediately preceding the presentation of the petition, been suffering from a virulent and incurable form of leprosy; or
(v) had, for a period of not less than three years immediately preceding the presentation of the petition, been suffering from venereal disease in a communicable form; or
(vi) has renounced the world by entering any religious order; or
(vii) has not been heard of as being alive for a period of seven years or more by those persons who would naturally have heard of it, had that party been alive; or
(viii) has not resumed cohabitation for a space of two years or upwards after the passing of a decree for judicial separation against that party; or
(ix) has failed to comply with a decree for restitution of conjugal rights for a period of two years or upwards after the passing of the decree.
A wife may also present a petition for the dissolution of her marriage by a decree of divorce on the ground,
(i) in the case of any marriage solemnized before the commencement of this Act, that the husband had married again before such commencement or that any other wife of the husband married before such commencement was alive at the time of the solemnization of the marriage of the petitioner:
Provided that in either case the other wife is alive at the time of the presentation of the petition; or
(ii) that the husband has, since the solemnization of the marriage, been guilty of rape, sodomy or bestiality.

Note: In case the person is not a Sikh, Hindu, Buddhist or Jain then their personal laws will govern the grounds of divorce and not Hindu Marriage Act. Such a person could be from Muslim, Christian, Parsi, Jew community, etc.


A divorce by US Court should be on the grounds specified above in Section 13 of Hindu Marriage Act.


Conclusion:

The divorce by US Court is valid in India provided it fulfills all conditions of Section 13 of Civil Procedure Code. Similarly a Swiss judgement would need to comply to the same.
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Old 25.07.2012, 22:59
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Re: International Divorce

The OP asked for help not judgement.

Instead a bunch of self-righteous men gave her a piece of their mind..
based on which criteria ?

She could come from a very traditional family and had to comply with the tradition of following her spouse.
Perhaps her Indian credentials are not recognized and thus she has to study to adapt to her new environment.
Perhaps his family is of a different cast and really has given her a hard time.
Maybe she can't go home.

You know nothing of her situation.

But based on the little that you did read, you jumped to conclusions, painted the discussion with your own colors, and congratulated yourselves for voicing your obviously "correct" opinions.

Meanwhile she never came back to continue her thread.
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Old 25.07.2012, 23:14
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Re: International Divorce

She logged in last two weeks ago. I dont think she really cares about what we think
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Old 26.07.2012, 00:18
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Re: International Divorce

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The OP asked for help not judgement.

Instead a bunch of self-righteous men gave her a piece of their mind..
based on which criteria ?

She could come from a very traditional family and had to comply with the tradition of following her spouse.
Perhaps her Indian credentials are not recognized and thus she has to study to adapt to her new environment.
Perhaps his family is of a different cast and really has given her a hard time.
Maybe she can't go home.

You know nothing of her situation.

But based on the little that you did read, you jumped to conclusions, painted the discussion with your own colors, and congratulated yourselves for voicing your obviously "correct" opinions.

Meanwhile she never came back to continue her thread.
This is all well and good but it doesn't change the fact that a failed relationship shouldn't result in a financial windfall. None of those rather far-fetched scenarios you've dreamed up justify the need for one adult to be legally required to support another for no other reason than an unsuccessful marriage.
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Old 26.07.2012, 09:51
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Re: International Divorce

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...Instead a bunch of self-righteous men gave her a piece of their mind.. ...
I'm sure there's some self-righteous women as well.
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Old 26.07.2012, 10:07
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Re: International Divorce

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This is all well and good but it doesn't change the fact that a failed relationship shouldn't result in a financial windfall. None of those rather far-fetched scenarios you've dreamed up justify the need for one adult to be legally required to support another for no other reason than an unsuccessful marriage.
She says she left her old life and gave up her (possibly successful) career for him... that isn't a small sacrifice a husband who works time and is successful enough to get a job in Switzerland.
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Old 26.07.2012, 10:11
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Re: International Divorce

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She says she left her old life and gave up her (possibly successful) career for him... that isn't a small sacrifice a husband who works time and is successful enough to get a job in Switzerland.
but he might not be on the hallowed 120'000 per annum......
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Old 26.07.2012, 12:07
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Re: International Divorce

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The OP asked for help not judgement.

Instead a bunch of self-righteous men gave her a piece of their mind..
based on which criteria ?
This is a public forum and if somebody asks for help in some case I consider morally wrong will I still say so. I did the same when somebody wanted to get paid by the RAV "to spend more time with the kids" and many other similar cases...

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She could come from a very traditional family and had to comply with the tradition of following her spouse.
Sure. So: Why should she get money from him after a divorce? Looks like she got herself educated now and could live on her own...
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Perhaps her Indian credentials are not recognized and thus she has to study to adapt to her new environment.
Fairly unlikely as Indian college degrees are internationally accepted. But even if: There are probably more Indians dreaming of getting a chance to get an US education than there are people living in the US... why exactly did she lose out in her marriage and now deserves support?
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Perhaps his family is of a different cast and really has given her a hard time.
Millions of people do not get along with their in-laws. I do not see at all why this would translate into monetary support.
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Maybe she can't go home.
Maybe not. Why would that entitle her to get money out of him?

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You know nothing of her situation.

But based on the little that you did read, you jumped to conclusions, painted the discussion with your own colors, and congratulated yourselves for voicing your obviously "correct" opinions.

Meanwhile she never came back to continue her thread.
I frankly do not need to know a lot of her situation: "Do you have kids?" is all that matters. If the answer is not does she have to get on with her life on her own. A marriage is not a life insurance.
Yes, I am judgemental - I judge people by the type of questions they ask: If she had asked "My husband wants to divorce me, but I am in the middle of my college program... are there ways to ensure that I can finish my education?" would she get my full support. "He does not want to pay me and my inlaws are rude people" is getting less sympathy from me.

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She says she left her old life and gave up her (possibly successful) career for him... that isn't a small sacrifice a husband who works time and is successful enough to get a job in Switzerland.
I did give up some job opportunities myself to be with my wife - and vice versa. It's pretty normal in a marriage, but without any more info does getting paid to go to school in the US not sound like a sacrifice. A lot of trailing spouses on EF gave up far more than that.
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Old 26.07.2012, 13:52
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Re: International Divorce

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..Instead a bunch of self-righteous men ..
Yes I can see your point about judgement.
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