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  #81  
Old 20.07.2012, 18:21
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Re: Sharing bedrooms

Tell them the walls are thin and you and the neighbors can hear everything! Then give them a bed that squeaks loudly everytime it moves.That way, they'll be at least quiet.

Last edited by olygirl; 20.07.2012 at 18:36.
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  #82  
Old 20.07.2012, 18:31
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Re: Sharing bedrooms

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If your ex wife arranged the implant she really cant say a word on this!
Come on now, seriously, yes, she can!

This should not be about the OP and his ex engaging in childish tit-for-tat behaviour on the scale of " well you never discussed X decision with me, so I'm not going to discuss Y decision with you ".

I could agree with you if not for the fact there are others feelings to consider here, mainly the children and how any further fall out between their parents might affect them adversely. After all, the OP's daughter and her boyfriend may be of consenting age but they are still very young, not to mention the 11 year old son who is still a minor.
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  #83  
Old 20.07.2012, 18:46
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Re: Sharing bedrooms

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Come on now, seriously, yes, she can!

This should not be about the OP and his ex engaging in childish tit-for-tat behaviour on the scale of " well you never discussed X decision with me, so I'm not going to discuss Y decision with you ".

I could agree with you if not for the fact there are others feelings to consider here, mainly the children and how any further fall out between their parents might affect them adversely. After all, the OP's daughter and her boyfriend may be of consenting age but they are still very young, not to mention the 11 year old son who is still a minor.
I think you have missed the point, his ex wife organised birth control, so clearly she understands that they will be having sex. Nothing more to debate!
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  #84  
Old 20.07.2012, 18:54
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Re: Sharing bedrooms

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I think you have missed the point, his ex wife organised birth control, so clearly she understands that they will be having sex. Nothing more to debate!

Come on fatman, we all know that there is a different rule for women, and of course women will side with mum for following a different set of rules to what dad can abide by and that is totally fair because women said so.

Its the fact of life.
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Old 20.07.2012, 18:54
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Re: Sharing bedrooms

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I think you have missed the point, his ex wife organised birth control, so clearly she understands that they will be having sex. Nothing more to debate!
Er, nope not in the slightest!
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  #86  
Old 20.07.2012, 18:57
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Re: Sharing bedrooms

What does your daughter want? What does the boy want? They may prefer not to sleep together, even if they are having sex.

I'd put the bf on the couch in the living room.
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  #87  
Old 20.07.2012, 19:03
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Re: Sharing bedrooms

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What does your daughter want? What does the boy want? They may prefer not to sleep together, even if they are having sex.

I'd put the bf on the couch in the living room.
Isn't that something married couples sometimes do after 20 odd years or whatever? I have yet to encounter any couple at this age and through their 20s that don't want to sleep together, if even in a literal sleeping sense
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  #88  
Old 20.07.2012, 19:08
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Re: Sharing bedrooms

My 16-yr-old self would be cringing if I'd found out my Dad's discussing this on a public forum!
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  #89  
Old 20.07.2012, 19:09
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Re: Sharing bedrooms

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My 16-yr-old self would be cringing if I'd found out my Dad's discussing this on a public forum!
I am pretty sure you would get over it and live a long life without having a scar from this particular event.
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  #90  
Old 20.07.2012, 19:11
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Re: Sharing bedrooms

I'm sure it's just a coincidence..... but has anyone else noticed the number of 'beds for sale/wanted' ads that have appeared in the last couple of hours?
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  #91  
Old 20.07.2012, 20:28
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Re: Sharing bedrooms

So, anyway.

Let love's young dream sleep together in the next room. If the ex doesn't like it, then it's unfortunate, but not the end of the world. Your daughter is now old enough that the ex would find it difficult to use her as a pawn to get at you. If she forbids her from seeing you, then expect visits every other weekend.

If you want no hanky lanky going on, then you and your missus should do some loud love making yourself. Throw in some animal noises and James Bond quotes. That should be enough to put them off (don't overdo the James Bond stuff if you ever want grandchildren in the future, though).
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Old 20.07.2012, 21:54
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Re: Sharing bedrooms

Here's the solution. Install a webcam in their room with a live feed to EF. We'll keep an all day and night eye on the situation for you and if anything even minorly sexy occurs, we'll create a new thread with a poll suggesting the way we'd expect you to handle the situation.

This is Switzerland, the majority of voters can't be wrong.
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  #93  
Old 20.07.2012, 22:07
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Re: Sharing bedrooms

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I am pretty sure you would get over it and live a long life without having a scar from this particular event.
Especially if she gets to sleep with her bf for 12 days...
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  #94  
Old 20.07.2012, 22:33
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Re: Sharing bedrooms

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What does your daughter want? What does the boy want? They may prefer not to sleep together, even if they are having sex.

I'd put the bf on the couch in the living room.
You'll laugh at me but it is absolutely true - the couch is too small. When we moved we bought 2 x 2 seaters. Should have gone for the 3 seater.

But I think I will discuss it with her mum and then work something out that suits everybody. It will end up in tears one way or another anyway.
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Old 20.07.2012, 22:35
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Re: Sharing bedrooms

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My 16-yr-old self would be cringing if I'd found out my Dad's discussing this on a public forum!

16 year olds are supposed to be embarrassed by their dads aren't they? It's a big part of the role.
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  #96  
Old 20.07.2012, 22:44
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Re: Sharing bedrooms

I have experienced this dilemma when my daughter's boyfriend family went away one Xmas and she asked me if he could stay for a week.

I kept them seperate and they totally understood my reasons.

It made me uncomfortable for a number of reasons - I had 2 other much younger children then and I did not want them exposed to this.

I felt that they were too young and not mature enough to be put in this situation and yes, people say they will just sneak off but I explained all my worries and actually they were really cool about it as it was making them feel a bit uncomfortable too!

And I can remember the raging hormones of teenagers myself.

I am sure there is somewhere else for him to sleep ( sofa, bath?)
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Old 20.07.2012, 22:53
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Re: Sharing bedrooms

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I think you have missed the point, his ex wife organised birth control, so clearly she understands that they will be having sex. Nothing more to debate!

Hum.

I admittedly skipped a couple pages, so do not know if this was actually discussed BUT "birth control" medications are used for more than simply protecting against birth, due to the hormones contained within them.

Just as an example, PCOS is something that doctors frequently prescribe birth control to help regulate because it forces a regular menstrual cycle. So, just because the OP's daughter has begun some sort of birth control regimen, does not necessarily mean that she "will" be having sex.


As far as the situation itself goes, I would say NOT to put them in the same room, let the bf sleep on the living room couch OR put your son on the couch (he maybe think it is a neat fun-time thing) and the bf in his room. If they sneak around, they sneak around, but I think it is more important to keep that sort of stuff on the down-low because of the 11yo. How much you teach your daughter to respect herself and her body will influence how much he respects his future girlfriends too.
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Old 20.07.2012, 23:19
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Re: Sharing bedrooms

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You could get the brother and sister to share (11 year old boy and 16 year old girl) if you are in any way bothered about the boyfriend.

Might not make for a terribly harmonious holiday, though.
I would do that as well. If they want to have sex, they would find a way to do it no matter where they sleep. But it will make you feel better

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I have experienced this dilemma when my daughter's boyfriend family went away one Xmas and she asked me if he could stay for a week.

I kept them seperate and they totally understood my reasons.

It made me uncomfortable for a number of reasons - I had 2 other much younger children then and I did not want them exposed to this.

I felt that they were too young and not mature enough to be put in this situation and yes, people say they will just sneak off but I explained all my worries and actually they were really cool about it as it was making them feel a bit uncomfortable too!

And I can remember the raging hormones of teenagers myself.

I am sure there is somewhere else for him to sleep ( sofa, bath?)
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  #99  
Old 20.07.2012, 23:59
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Re: Sharing bedrooms

If it's not happened yet it will, difficult for Dad to accept daughter doing such things but there you are, that's life, or so they tell me that how it all begins.

As for your ex skinning you, if it's not already done i guess you don't have too much to worry about anyway.
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Old 21.07.2012, 00:15
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Re: Sharing bedrooms

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I thought of the boyfriend on a mattress in the living room and my wife just looked at me and gave me that 'you're not serious' look. She doesn't see an issue, just put them together in the same bed as far as she is concerned.
Dont take it in the wrong way, but her reaction would be different if it was her little girl. I know I find it cool if a dad lets her daughter sleep with the boyfriend, now ask me again when I have girls of my own, my answer would be Hell NO!
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