Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Help & tips > Family matters/health  
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 28.09.2012, 11:10
Newbie
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: zurich
Posts: 3
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Swissjohn has no particular reputation at present
Legal guidance required

I need some guidance on this and maybe some of you haveexperienced this yourself. I have been the victim of some vicious, pre-meditatedactions of my ex-wife. What happened is that, beginning of this year sheaccused me of taking (abducting) our daughter from her pre-school without myex-wife’s consent. We were still married at that time although divorce proceedingshad started but no (interim) orders were in place with regard to custody. Tokeep a long story short, after my trip to the police station and this ending upbefore the Swiss Prosecutor the allegations were finally dropped as the Prosecutorclearly stated that there was no wrongdoing from my side. This could be the endbut I had to make considerable legal costs which I think is fair to claim backfrom the person who made these dishonest allegations in the first place. Aseveryone could understand this is an exceptionally humiliating and slanderousexperience which actually impacted me deeply. I also believe that when one makesa police report he/she should not make any untrue or misleading declarationswhich, in the case of my ex-wife, had happened.

I need to know where to start to: first, get my costscompensated and second, make the person responsible for these sickeningactions. Do I involve a lawyer (I want to prevent this due to costs and who isgood and comes recommended or do I get a pro bono lawyer, do they exist inZurich? ) or do I go to the police station and make a complaint?
Any help iswelcome.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Swissjohn for this useful post:
  #2  
Old 28.09.2012, 11:17
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: May 2010
Location: north
Posts: 6,132
Groaned at 218 Times in 138 Posts
Thanked 5,100 Times in 2,636 Posts
rob1 has a reputation beyond reputerob1 has a reputation beyond reputerob1 has a reputation beyond reputerob1 has a reputation beyond reputerob1 has a reputation beyond reputerob1 has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Legal guidance required

i dont really think an internet forum is the best place to get full current legal advise in this matter.

spend a few hundred francs and time with a lawyer - a specialist in this field BTW, and it will be money well spent.
Reply With Quote
The following 6 users would like to thank rob1 for this useful post:
This user groans at rob1 for this post:
  #3  
Old 28.09.2012, 11:20
fatmanfilms's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Verbier
Posts: 21,376
Groaned at 461 Times in 352 Posts
Thanked 23,091 Times in 11,824 Posts
fatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Legal guidance required

Quote:
View Post
I need some guidance on this and maybe some of you haveexperienced this yourself. I have been the victim of some vicious, pre-meditatedactions of my ex-wife. What happened is that, beginning of this year sheaccused me of taking (abducting) our daughter from her pre-school without myex-wife’s consent. We were still married at that time although divorce proceedingshad started but no (interim) orders were in place with regard to custody. Tokeep a long story short, after my trip to the police station and this ending upbefore the Swiss Prosecutor the allegations were finally dropped as the Prosecutorclearly stated that there was no wrongdoing from my side. This could be the endbut I had to make considerable legal costs which I think is fair to claim backfrom the person who made these dishonest allegations in the first place. Aseveryone could understand this is an exceptionally humiliating and slanderousexperience which actually impacted me deeply. I also believe that when one makesa police report he/she should not make any untrue or misleading declarationswhich, in the case of my ex-wife, had happened.

I need to know where to start to: first, get my costscompensated and second, make the person responsible for these sickeningactions. Do I involve a lawyer (I want to prevent this due to costs and who isgood and comes recommended or do I get a pro bono lawyer, do they exist inZurich? ) or do I go to the police station and make a complaint?
Any help iswelcome.
I suspect you will waste a lot of money & achieve nothing. Best chalk it up to experiance, I realise it's not what you want to hear, but I believe it to be good advice-
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank fatmanfilms for this useful post:
  #4  
Old 28.09.2012, 11:31
Newbie
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: zurich
Posts: 3
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Swissjohn has no particular reputation at present
Re: Legal guidance required


Thanks for your reply but I am sure there must be other options that can beconsidered. Society let's people off far too easily nowadays. I cannot imagine thatthis is the way we all want to go, especially (and hopefully) not inSwitzerland.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Swissjohn for this useful post:
  #5  
Old 28.09.2012, 11:57
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Re: Legal guidance required

Quote:
View Post
Thanks for your reply but I am sure there must be other options that can beconsidered. Society let's people off far too easily nowadays. I cannot imagine thatthis is the way we all want to go, especially (and hopefully) not inSwitzerland.
I couldn't disagree more. Society is far too willing to make people 'pay'. In this case, you clearly just want to hit back at your ex, which is perhaps understandable given the circumstances, but revenge doesn't actually help anyone. Yes, she's caused you pain and financial cost, and you believe it was a simple malicious action, but what would you really gain from escalating this, apart from making her suffer in a similar, or more severe, way?

All else apart, the real victim here is, and will remain, your daughter. For her sake if for no other reason you should make every effort to mend your bridges with the ex.
Reply With Quote
The following 6 users would like to thank for this useful post:
  #6  
Old 28.09.2012, 12:20
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 1,983
Groaned at 69 Times in 52 Posts
Thanked 5,074 Times in 1,802 Posts
crazygringo has a reputation beyond reputecrazygringo has a reputation beyond reputecrazygringo has a reputation beyond reputecrazygringo has a reputation beyond reputecrazygringo has a reputation beyond reputecrazygringo has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Legal guidance required

as others have suggested, you should move on, and any good attorney will tell you the same.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 28.09.2012, 12:49
Sbrinz's Avatar
RIP
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Murten - Morat
Posts: 11,866
Groaned at 563 Times in 354 Posts
Thanked 11,548 Times in 5,941 Posts
Sbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond reputeSbrinz has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Legal guidance required

Is your wife rich? If you take her back to Court your daughter will suffer, as Mummy will lose no time in telling her what an AH her father is.

If you really must claim, then go to the court building and ask advice from the clerk to the court. He won't give you legal advice, but he will help you start a claim for your expenses, which should have been done with the original trial.

Do forget claiming damages, this is Switzerland, you have received justice, but you can't expect more than some compensation for your lawyer and court expenses.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 29.09.2012, 06:19
Newbie
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: zurich
Posts: 3
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Swissjohn has no particular reputation at present
Re: Legal guidance required

Thank you all for the replies so far.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 29.09.2012, 14:41
Peg A's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Basel
Posts: 4,422
Groaned at 158 Times in 125 Posts
Thanked 5,428 Times in 2,510 Posts
Peg A has a reputation beyond reputePeg A has a reputation beyond reputePeg A has a reputation beyond reputePeg A has a reputation beyond reputePeg A has a reputation beyond reputePeg A has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Legal guidance required

Quote:
View Post
I had to make considerable legal costs which I think is fair to claim backfrom the person who made these dishonest allegations in the first place.
If it were anyone else, if it were an ex with whom you had no children, I'd be inclined to agree.

As you're talking about the mother of your child though, I strongly disagree.

First (as others have mentioned), you're risking your ex actually telling your daughter that you've done this. Of course, if she's only in preschool, she's probably too young to understand completely, but the parts she will understand is basically that "daddy is bad".

I do not have direct personal experience with this, what I have is to deal with family disputes because my husband grew up in a similar situation you're wanting to put your daughter into. Hubby's feelings toward his father are HIGHLY influenced by his mother, and he's not seen or spoken to his father since they divorced when hubby was six. Of course, at that age he couldn't control when / where / how, but even as an adult he still refuses to see his father.


So, my answer, given from the perspective of someone who's seen how this ends up, is to try to get over it. I'm sure it will not be easy, but it will be the best thing for your daughter and for your relationship with her.
__________________
The Joys of Opticianry
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank Peg A for this useful post:
  #10  
Old 29.09.2012, 18:11
AbFab's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Zürich
Posts: 8,525
Groaned at 364 Times in 251 Posts
Thanked 12,742 Times in 4,346 Posts
AbFab has a reputation beyond reputeAbFab has a reputation beyond reputeAbFab has a reputation beyond reputeAbFab has a reputation beyond reputeAbFab has a reputation beyond reputeAbFab has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Legal guidance required

This is not want you want to hear, but you are on a hiding to nowhere fighting your ex. Forget legal anything.

You child, if she isn't already, will soon be poisoned by your ex so that your daughter will want nothing to do with you.

Do not stoop to your ex's level. You will gain nothing and most likely lose everything. By fighting your ex, you are showing her that she has got to you and more will follow as sure as night follows day.

Take a deep breath, stand back and do not retaliate. By being kind, generous and not infuriated by your ex's actions, you will show up your ex's pettiness and stupidity. And hopefully in the long run gain your daughter's respect when she eventually sees how you acted...
__________________
**Triple vaxxed with Moderna plus 2021/22 season flu jab.**
Fed up of smoking? 10 tips to quit in 10 days
Reply With Quote
The following 6 users would like to thank AbFab for this useful post:
  #11  
Old 29.09.2012, 18:36
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: basel
Posts: 2,358
Groaned at 24 Times in 16 Posts
Thanked 2,426 Times in 1,164 Posts
biff has a reputation beyond reputebiff has a reputation beyond reputebiff has a reputation beyond reputebiff has a reputation beyond reputebiff has a reputation beyond reputebiff has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Legal guidance required

If there were costs to be awarded, wouldn't that have happened during the original court case? And if it was not brought up by your legal advisor at that time, was that becasue there was no case for awarding costs, or because your advisor wasn't as "good" as one would wish for.

However, I am wondering why you actually picked your daughter up without first communicating with her other, whom it appears she lives with. I would not expect that a parent would ever go and pick up their young child if it was different from the original jointly known plan, without checking with the other parent first. Whether you are together or not, communication is the most important thing when it comes to your child.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank biff for this useful post:
  #12  
Old 29.09.2012, 22:38
dottie's Avatar
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Zuric h
Posts: 33
Groaned at 1 Time in 1 Post
Thanked 19 Times in 11 Posts
dottie is considered knowledgeabledottie is considered knowledgeabledottie is considered knowledgeable
Re: Legal guidance required

Whilst I absolutely do not condone your (ex)wife from involving the police, I can sympathize with her feeling of panic if you had collected your daughter from school without informing her (if this was the case). There are too many awful stories of hurt fathers abducting (and harming) children. And mothers, particularly single mothers of single children (i.e. one child only) totally panic if they do not know where their child is.

I know, this was once me. My ex-husband went through a phase of refusing to answer the phone on days when my daughter was with him, or of dropping her off with his parents and friends, and not informing me. It was so incredibly upsetting.

It can be very hard, but do try to see your ex-wife's perspective. She is no doubt over-protective of your child, this is normal in the instance of divorce.

And don't make the lawyers even richer.

Just focus on being a loving father.
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank dottie for this useful post:
Reply

Tags
false allegations, legal problems, legal proceedings, pro bono lawyer




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Career Guidance sought NicM Employment 10 10.03.2010 11:33
US Expat- Need Guidance-$$ turbinedude Employment 3 15.04.2008 20:14
Some guidance on recent posts mark Daily life 11 22.03.2006 22:02


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 08:18.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0