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Old 15.02.2013, 23:33
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my husband separate me from our child

hello....

Id like to apologies for my spelling. I need help please...its long story but in the short way....I have been married 10yrs ago in USA the marriage was annulled and I lived only there barely for 2yrs. I do not have any document that the marriage was annulled as my ex just gone. Immigration lawyer told me to go back my origin country. I did.
2010 I moved to Switzerland to settle down, work, live. 2011 I did meet my swiss husband. after 1months I was pregnant and I was really in love and the pregnancy was agreed...it was not accident. We wanted.
Our son was born and my husband totally change. He did not really interest of me or our son. I was thinking maybe is the way I was still fatty and our son was just the baby for breastfeeding and changing nappies etc....and I was sure this will change when our son will be bigger. Ohhhh....gets difficult with the family in law....and at the end it was really bad and I did stress a lot and my husband really abused me emontionaly...I went to see our pedia. and explain front of him it hard the family presuare that they are telling me what to do with baby just because they do have 3 or 5 children. Then again my midwife and she told me to make appoiment for pszcholog and marriage couple therapie. and I did it all appoimnets sfor january BTW I used to be nanny 12yrs. Well at the end on xmass day he left after work to be with his family and he did not tell me. He just told me he will be back for dinner. 10pm he was not at home, his mobil was switch off and I call the family. Ohhhh.....not good at all///and I just drink bottle of wine.....but our son was in the bed..........then we argue when he arrived.....next day all was fine until 10am...come strange doctor...I did panic I did call police and all I could I did not refused text for alcohol and at the end they forced me to mental hospital. 26.12.2012...I am still here...I never had change to go home us he refused me at home...he 6 weeks stress me all the time he wil not bring the child....finaly we had JDP and now he has to bring the child every 2 days....he is now 7monts...so I do not stress or panic about this...I am in the unit that is not for alcoholic people or seriously mentally ill as my husband is saying this. Since 26.12.2012 he has lawyer and he search for my past and he find that I was married....now he would like to annule the marriage/ As doctors do not have any reports that I am not dangerous ill for child now my husband is saying I can not go home as he is devastate I did not tell him I was married...but \I had all my document proved by apostile from my country that I am single,
I do not know what to do...can he deport me...he manipulate with my passport without my permission, I have permit B before I did married him...can he take my son away from me....can he just annule the marriage because I did not tell him what happened 10yrs ago...for me it was past and bad emontional life experience and my ex just gone ...
I think he knows all about it long time ago...as I did find out in the hospital that 17.12. he reported me or better to SEJ...better to saz one of the family member///the all family including my husband is going against to me and I am in CH alone....just few friends but they can not help me...
I do not have money as my husband works and I was at home.....he is a farmer and he is saying he has no money but he is paying lawyer...and 7 weeks he did not visit me ...just 3x times and he said for him was stresfull....what can I do....can the JDP help me or I have no power as mom..... who make white lie and who drink wine....and I am not swiss...

thank you
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Old 16.02.2013, 01:14
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Re: my husband separate me from our child

You should urgently get in touch with somebody in your area who can give you legal advice or further help. You will find a few addresses here:

http://www.migraweb.ch/

Association Genevoise pour les Droits
de la Femme (AGDF)
Consultations juridiques pour les femmes.
Route de la Croix d’Or 10 - 1204 Genève
Mme Christine Sordet, avocate
Tél. 022 310 30 30
Fax 022 740 31 44
Horaire : mardi de 18h30 à 19h30
Prestations gratuites : dans tous les domaines

Centre Social Protestant
Permanence (premier contact par téléphone).
Rue du Village-Suisse 14
Case postale 171 - 1211 Genève 8
Tél. 022 807 07 07
Fax 022 807 07 01
Horaire : lundi et jeudi matin entre 9h00 et 11h30.
Prestations gratuites : conseil social, juridique,
famille et 3ème âge.

Permanence Juridique SA
Rue de la Terrassière 9 - 1207 Genève
Tél. 022 735 81 83
Fax 022 786 57 82
Horaire : tous les jours de 8h15 à 18h30 sur
rendez-vous.
Prix : CHF 50.-.
Conseils juridiques donnés par des avocats
dans tous les domaines.

Service Social International
Réception sur rendez-vous.
Rue Alfred-Vincent 10 - 1201 Genève
Tél. 022 731 67 00
Fax 022 731 67 65
Traite les questions liées : protection de l’enfant,
droits parentaux, déplacement d’enfant, pensions
alimentaires, adoption internationale, recherche des
origines, couples binationaux, mineur non accompagné,
droits des étrangers.
Prix : CHF 80.- par consultation simple, ensuite au
cas par cas.
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Old 16.02.2013, 06:35
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Re: my husband separate me from our child

Welcome to the Forum Renate. I find it difficult to understand your writing. Are you still in hospital? Have you told all this story to your doctor? Are you speaking to social services at the hospital?

You need to be patient Renate, things move very slowly here, but you need to tell your doctor what is bothering you.
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Old 16.02.2013, 07:56
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Re: my husband separate me from our child

Switzerland is very protective of mothers, you have a lot of rights over your child (much more than the father actually, but that's another debate).

But one thing is certain: whatever the pressures your husband is trying to placate on you, if the psychiatrists at the mental hospital decided to keep you for so long it means that you need it. So focus on getting better, as this will convince the judges to help you later on. And you need to feel better for your child too.

Good luck to you.
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Old 16.02.2013, 08:02
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Re: my husband separate me from our child

to be honest though, i would be freaking out too if i was unfairly put in a hospital and separated by force from my 7 month old baby by an emotionally abusive spouse. having worked in psychiatric hospitals a bit years ago, i don't always trust them to take the time to go through and review each patient thoroughly, especially when dealing with a foreign language/patient.

i would recommend that you contact the addresses/numbers prof. gave you. stay as strong as you can and try to keep calm (breathe, breathe) to get this done right. see if you can't contact someone who speaks czech (your language?) and english or german to help you.

good luck
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Old 16.02.2013, 08:21
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Re: my husband separate me from our child

1. Get yourself well again. Right now you must focus on getting finding mental stability in order to make the right decisions. You will only be taken seriously if they feel you are mentally healthy.

2. Contact the address given above and get advice. You need to inform yourself on what your options are.

3. Put a plan together that will offer you the most happiest and security.

4. Go through with the plan.

Sending a hug and clarity to get you through this nightmare. Men can be really shitty sometimes. That's why we women need to stick together.
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Old 16.02.2013, 09:19
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Re: my husband separate me from our child

I doubt that amy woman is going to be feeling emotionally secure after spending time with an abusive partner let alone one that manipulates a psych hospital stay - that would send me completely off my rocker.

Renata does you family know what has happened - are they able to provide support for you? OR do you at least have any friends here from your home country perhaps someone who can also help as a go-between with languages at the hospital.

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1. Get yourself well again. Right now you must focus on getting finding mental stability in order to make the right decisions. You will only be taken seriously if they feel you are mentally healthy.

2. Contact the address given above and get advice. You need to inform yourself on what your options are.

3. Put a plan together that will offer you the most happiest and security.

4. Go through with the plan.

Sending a hug and clarity to get you through this nightmare. Men can be really shitty sometimes. That's why we women need to stick together.
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Old 16.02.2013, 09:25
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Re: my husband separate me from our child

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Men can be really shitty sometimes. That's why we women need to stick together.
...providing this story is an accurate portrayal of what is actually happening. If you read all the OP, something about it doesn't really feel right imo... garbled text notwithstanding.
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Old 16.02.2013, 09:26
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Re: my husband separate me from our child

How far someone can manipulate doctors of an hospital to keep his wife away? Surely, they will need some proof and events to put together. I am sorry for the OP but in the meantime, people who needs mental help are not always the first one to admit it. Many actually see it as a plot against them.

Would like to hear the other side of this story.
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Old 16.02.2013, 10:22
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Re: my husband separate me from our child

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How far someone can manipulate doctors of an hospital to keep his wife away? Surely, they will need some proof and events to put together. I am sorry for the OP but in the meantime, people who needs mental help are not always the first one to admit it. Many actually see it as a plot against them.

Would like to hear the other side of this story.
It's not that difficult due to language barriers. Maybe they keep her to cure her alcoholism?...she denies she's an alcoholic, but could be a good "reason" to keep her there, as she really cannot prove she doesn't drink. Nil, it's a Swiss man against an Eastern European woman, in Switzerland. Take off your pink glasses, because justice, doctors, whatever...could be and are manipulated everywhere in this world.
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Old 16.02.2013, 10:41
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Re: my husband separate me from our child

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It's not that difficult due to language barriers. Maybe they keep her to cure her alcoholism?...she denies she's an alcoholic, but could be a good "reason" to keep her there, as she really cannot prove she doesn't drink. Nil, it's a Swiss man against an Eastern European woman, in Switzerland. Take off your pink glasses, because justice, doctors, whatever...could be and are manipulated everywhere in this world.
My pink glasses are off thanks to check on it. what I know is while a bunch of doctors, hospitals members and direction, judges and lawyers can all together be equally manipulate by a Swiss man over his Eastern European wife all based on his nice red passport and she forgot to tell us he is super rich and can buy all of them, I think it is a lot of manipulation to take to so many people.

While it is not impossible, it is not also impossible that this woman lives in her own la la land where all her husband family want her far away, have her child away and make her pass for an alcoholic.

How often you have people being forced into an hospital by family members admitting it is because they have a problem? How often you see people admitted in the hospital because of dependence and mental issues?

Easy to jump to the conclusion that it is the Swiss husband who wants to take advantage of her and send her away while we have only one version; the version of a person who is locked in an hospital. We don't know the other side of the story, we don't even know if this version is a sane one so before to jump into the Swiss versus Eastern European having more power and being the jerk etc... Lets sit down and take off our drama glasses, shawl we?
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Old 16.02.2013, 10:43
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Re: my husband separate me from our child

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It's not that difficult due to language barriers. Maybe they keep her to cure her alcoholism?...she denies she's an alcoholic, but could be a good "reason" to keep her there, as she really cannot prove she doesn't drink. Nil, it's a Swiss man against an Eastern European woman, in Switzerland. Take off your pink glasses, because justice, doctors, whatever...could be and are manipulated everywhere in this world.
I can go out and buy a bottle of wine....that is not problem at all here...but thing is I am happy here...well I mean without the emontionall abused and doctors can see that surely......is just that is going every thing so slowly...reason why I am here so long is that my husband is refusing me at home and now after we had JDP and SEJ...tutor for our little baby...so my husband can not humillitating, threating me I am calm. I am devasted that I can not be with my baby....night a nightmare...thinking to put him in the bed, cuddle him, give him a bottle etc....but for that I can ask for calming medications....
  #13  
Old 16.02.2013, 10:56
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Re: my husband separate me from our child

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My pink glasses are off thanks to check on it. what I know is while a bunch of doctors, hospitals members and direction, judges and lawyers can all together be equally manipulate by a Swiss man over his Eastern European wife all based on his nice red passport and she forgot to tell us he is super rich and can buy all of them, I think it is a lot of manipulation to take to so many people.

While it is not impossible, it is not also impossible that this woman lives in her own la la land where all her husband family want her far away, have her child away and make her pass for an alcoholic.

How often you have people being forced into an hospital by family members admitting it is because they have a problem? How often you see people admitted in the hospital because of dependence and mental issues?


Easy to jump to the conclusion that it is the Swiss husband who wants to take advantage of her and send her away while we have only one version; the version of a person who is locked in an hospital. We don't know the other side of the story, we don't even know if this version is a sane one so before to jump into the Swiss versus Eastern European having more power and being the jerk etc... Lets sit down and take off our drama glasses, shawl we?

NIL....yes ...that is right you do not know my husband story....but I will not writing here if I want to take our baby away from him....and lucky I am here over 7 weeks because the doctors really make every day report when I do meet my husband or we had few couple therapies where my husband really express himself...like...oh...she strellizing bottles 4 months, the baby was always sleeping when I get back from work...he is a farmer....my friends visit me and our baby and 8pm baby was already in the bed so they could not see baby...he was 2month.....she must have everything tidy up and she has routine for baby....she is ironing baby clothes...etc etc.....the doctor already seeing there in not mentall problem but couple problem and family in law....family express themselves....she is very tired.....she express lots of milk instead of natural breastfeeding...grr I had express milk I had lots of milk......she travel a lot and she was living in 5 countries before she moved to Switzerland.......she speak with baby Czech and English...that will be not good when he will starts school.....the baby wears so much cloths and he is too hot.....this is in my medical report...so I do not really trying to make up story against to my husband
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Old 16.02.2013, 10:58
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Re: my husband separate me from our child

Quote:
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You should urgently get in touch with somebody in your area who can give you legal advice or further help. You will find a few addresses here:

http://www.migraweb.ch/

Association Genevoise pour les Droits
de la Femme (AGDF)
Consultations juridiques pour les femmes.
Route de la Croix d’Or 10 - 1204 Genève
Mme Christine Sordet, avocate
Tél. 022 310 30 30
Fax 022 740 31 44
Horaire : mardi de 18h30 à 19h30
Prestations gratuites : dans tous les domaines

Centre Social Protestant
Permanence (premier contact par téléphone).
Rue du Village-Suisse 14
Case postale 171 - 1211 Genève 8
Tél. 022 807 07 07
Fax 022 807 07 01
Horaire : lundi et jeudi matin entre 9h00 et 11h30.
Prestations gratuites : conseil social, juridique,
famille et 3ème âge.

Permanence Juridique SA
Rue de la Terrassière 9 - 1207 Genève
Tél. 022 735 81 83
Fax 022 786 57 82
Horaire : tous les jours de 8h15 à 18h30 sur
rendez-vous.
Prix : CHF 50.-.
Conseils juridiques donnés par des avocats
dans tous les domaines.

Service Social International
Réception sur rendez-vous.
Rue Alfred-Vincent 10 - 1201 Genève
Tél. 022 731 67 00
Fax 022 731 67 65
Traite les questions liées : protection de l’enfant,
droits parentaux, déplacement d’enfant, pensions
alimentaires, adoption internationale, recherche des
origines, couples binationaux, mineur non accompagné,
droits des étrangers.
Prix : CHF 80.- par consultation simple, ensuite au
cas par cas.
thank you very much...I am in the canton Fribourg but I am sure they will tell me the numbers I can call here if exist....thank you very much...thank you
  #15  
Old 16.02.2013, 11:00
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Re: my husband separate me from our child

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1. Get yourself well again. Right now you must focus on getting finding mental stability in order to make the right decisions. You will only be taken seriously if they feel you are mentally healthy.

2. Contact the address given above and get advice. You need to inform yourself on what your options are.

3. Put a plan together that will offer you the most happiest and security.

4. Go through with the plan.

Sending a hug and clarity to get you through this nightmare. Men can be really shitty sometimes. That's why we women need to stick together.
thank you very much....that's makes me put my head up and stay strong...thank you
  #16  
Old 16.02.2013, 11:08
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Re: my husband separate me from our child

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I doubt that amy woman is going to be feeling emotionally secure after spending time with an abusive partner let alone one that manipulates a psych hospital stay - that would send me completely off my rocker.

Renata does you family know what has happened - are they able to provide support for you? OR do you at least have any friends here from your home country perhaps someone who can also help as a go-between with languages at the hospital.
This is the another hard part...I have few friends...one in Zurich one in Engelberg....they are supporting me but they are bit far from Fribourg...so I am here alone.....my family is devastating...my mom was already 2x in the hospital with high pressure...and now for a week my grandmother is in the hospital...nobody can not believe what he is doing with his family. so that is very hard...plus for 7 weeks my husband did not bring me nothing...just pairs of jeans and few jumpers and socks and shoes....that is all....last week my PC...I had to restarted as he control my emails over the Iphone....he is a farmer but very intelligent....I have no idea what he is doing and what he can do...so next week I will know more plus hospital said I can stay here maximum plus 2 weeksss.....its nice but again I have not been with my baby since 26.12.2012 and he was only 5 months.....this is something that I can not hold sometimes in the hospital and freak out...not in the bad way...I just cry and cry and cry and I can not stop....
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Old 16.02.2013, 11:11
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Re: my husband separate me from our child

I do thank you all for your supporting..as I am here alone.....really thank you for helpful links and for supporting.....thank you...
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Old 16.02.2013, 11:23
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Re: my husband separate me from our child

You are not alone, there is a couple of hundred people at this moment listening to you..

You need home legal support, I will link Czech embassy link with legal protection services that will deal with your case. Contact your family at home, too, no idea what your status is with them, but good luck. I will be online later in the evening.

Do not share here stuff you need to keep private, and do not mind some of the negative tone, it's not meant to hurt you.

Last edited by MusicChick; 16.02.2013 at 11:26. Reason: i just saw your comment about your family, it happens, sorry to hear.contact your friends back home,asap
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Old 16.02.2013, 11:43
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Re: my husband separate me from our child

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Welcome to the Forum Renate. I find it difficult to understand your writing. Are you still in hospital? Have you told all this story to your doctor? Are you speaking to social services at the hospital?

You need to be patient Renate, things move very slowly here, but you need to tell your doctor what is bothering you.
Yes still in hospital but I have to leave in 2 weeks....yes doctors knows all my story and next week I have social service to make the project where to go and I hope I can be with my baby...I do not want to separating baby from my husband surely he is the father...but I want to be with the baby as mom and he will visit us as much he wants and maybe I mean maybe...step by step I can forgive hi...but for now I can even talk to him that's why we have to keep distance and for baby communication we have curator...SEJ

otherwise anytime we have discussion is ending that I am agressiv, mentally ill, alcoholic...he used say also schizophrenic, baby blues, postnatal depression etc etc.....now only aggressive and mentally ill and he is waiting for the medical report and then he will contact his lawyer...that is all I hear from him......very nice....hmmmmm?

last time he really freaks me out when he told me is not good for 7monts old baby to go outside for walk.....I was thinking this time I might shake his head and I am very calm person but this was too much....the best was when he said one day to doctors...I was waiting for our baby and he called hospital,....I will not bring baby because I am very afraid that my wife will run away with the baby....means I will kidnap my baby and run to.......??????
I guess Geneva aiport?..hmmm children are free on the train but what about me?...and there will be a private jet for me and just that I have cute baby and maybe I am good looking...so without passports they will take us to Czech Republic? and surely the hospital will not looking for me at all...as I can have baby here only 2 hours....
Now I laughing but that day I was schocked...is he a primitive or what?????
  #20  
Old 16.02.2013, 12:36
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Re: my husband separate me from our child

It's very sad to read about your current situation. I'm very sorry for what you are enduring.

I think what you need to do is to get in touch with the numbers you were given and also look for help from your embassy. If there are some human rights that are being violated here, like not allowing to see your baby or maybe having a translator to help you during your meetings with doctors and your husband, a lawyer can advise you and help you to get things sorted out.

Be patient, I can imagine how stressing must be for you not to see your baby but it is because of him that you have to try to put yourself together and be strong to confront this situation. The sooner the doctors and social services are happy that you are fit to look after you and your baby, the sooner you will have him back with you.
Good luck!
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