Sorry this is rather urgent.
A friend just called, a husband is a total bully, threatens and wants to kick her out with 4 kids out of their apartment. Refuses to give money, threatens to block cards and accounts and basically tells her to leave.

he wants her to leave right away. If she leaves alone, he says he will support kids but not her. If she take skids with her he says he will not give her any money or pay for her flat.

She is waiting to hear form her lawyer now but we are just thinking what to do at this right moment? Bullying and threats by txt on a daily basis, also when he comes home.

I wanted to ask if there is something she can do right away? I understand that court/judges etc will take time.

thank you so much. her youngest is 5 and my friend is almost having breakdown.

How about contacting the women's refuge? ( frauenhaus I think it's called in German).
They should be able to advise her of the best course of action.

I'm sorry to hear of your friends troubles. Unfortunately, this is not an uncommon scenario. As the above poster mentioned, the women's shelter is an option.

http://frauenhaus-schweiz.ch/de/meine-rechte

They will be able to provide some, if limited assistance. They are set up for domestic abuse, in particular violance. Your friend could contact them while she is waiting for the answer from her attorney and they will be able to best advise what living arrangements could be made for her and her children.

With regards to financial support. Legally yes, it is enforceable and she will have a right to some level of support. Her attorney will know best.

Aside from that, be there for her. It does sound like she really needs her friends right now.

Thanks, I passed info to her.

I wonder if there is some legal way that he would leave? All kids primary school age and kindergarten age and to uproot them even temporarily.. what a horrible situation.

Right now, there is an immediate concern and that should be paramount - anything else can be sorted, once the people are out of immediate danger.

PS: whoopsie - I read the title as "kicking the kids"... making more sense now..

Is there a strategy where he gets kicked out of the family home?

he is not physically dangerous, she says there is no physical threat to her or to kids. Just emotional bullying and threats but to the level that she says she can basically one evening just leave with kids and ask friends for a night stay.

yes, I wonder if emotional bullying by sms and verbal can be considered that he would be kicked out of the house?

If he is so unhappy, why he doesn't leave? Better to move one person than 5.

If there is no threat of physical violence, the Frauenhaus will most likely not be able to offer accomodation.. They will have good advice though.

Technically it is possible for the courts to allocated the flat or house to one spouse and the children in such situations.. However, it won't happen overnight. Emergency preventitive measures can be applied for and the courts will process these quickly, but it can still take a few weeks..

I'm so sorry to hear of the abuse your friend is suffering by her bullying husband. She should call the Frauenhaus in Zurich. They can be reached at 044 363 2267. Until she can speak with her attorney she should seek immediate shelter for herself and her children. This kind of behavior can quickly escalate into physical abuse.

Sorry to hear about your friend. Very distressing. Seems like he is the one with the problem, so he should be the one to leave! Unfortunately, sounds like she might have been maneuvered into a powerless position.

You might find good resources here, including cantonal help:
http://www.ebg.admin.ch/themen/00466/index.html?lang=en

Domestic violence is not just physical, it can also be psychological. If she feels she or the children are in danger, she has a right to contact authorities.

I agree.

I don't know what kind of threatening is doing to her but since it is also on text messaging, I would tell her to keep them all. I would also talk to the police in case he physically remove her from the house, etc. they will already know about the topic and be prepared.

I just do not get it, you hate your wife so much, ok, but why punish the kids? be a man, pack your stuff and go... what a loser

So true. But contacting the authorities unfortunately doesn't mean you'll get the resolution you want. It's important to be realistic with expectations.

Without physical violence, the police aren't likely to do much in terms of separating both parties in the house. Even with it, unless there are marks it's his word against hers. What they may do is suggest that the violent party leave of their own accord. If they feel there's a threat, they will enforce that but again, the police mostly just take complaints and then these get sent forward to other agencies such as child protection (a most likely outcome in her situation since there are children involved).

In Zürich you can also contact Infodona.
On the page you can choose your language.

What I suggest:
- Document everthing (Textmsg, mails etc.)
- try to record the abuse

Thanks. They are both born and bred Swiss. so i guess Infodona will not work for them...

Gosh, he sounds horrid! Sending lots of positive energy to you and your friend. She needs to get out of this situation.
http://www.beratungsnetz.ch/html/Fra...rantinnen.html

There is also an organisation who will help her out in this particular situation. The Swiss call it "mobbing".
http://www.beratungsnetz.ch/html/MOB...R,_M.E.B..html

Thank you. I know her and kids well, wonderful children and she is good person, helped me a lot settling when I came to Zurich...horrible situation indeed.

thanks I forwarded info about Mobbing.