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  #21  
Old 29.11.2013, 10:13
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

Like others said, it is difficult to give advice because every person is so different.

I'm pregnant with a baby due in March. I've worked for a long time and I worry about being out of the market for very long and trying to get back into the career ladder.

My thinking currently is to be full time with the baby until October or November. My employer pays 16 weeks maternity leave. I think I'll have a month or so of holidays (have some c/f as well) and the rest will be unpaid. I'm then also allowed to go part-time, which I really want to do. I was trying to be a mum for more than 10 years and now that it has finally happened, as much as I like working and think it is important for me as I like to independent, this is the time to experience motherhood.

I wanted to work around 60% when returning to work and would very much like if my husband went down to 80% but I think he cannot even bring himself to ask for the possibility at work!!

Hey, good luck with it all. I often have doubts in my mind and don't know what to do but I leave the issues there for a while and debate with some trusted friends. Eventually the right answer will come to you.

Take care
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  #22  
Old 26.02.2016, 10:38
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

Hi there,

for me is insane to go back to work while your baby does not reach minimum 1 year old.

And even after that is only 50 %-60% job is acceptable for me.
I know how babies are learn they pattern copying us, and I want my baby to learn from me and not from other people (no idea with what kind of personality).

I studied a lot about babies and I worked in Kindergarten as well.

So mummies - my advice to stay with your little one as much as you can!
Enjoy her learning!
This is really not the time to build your carrier!

NO wonder why the world think about swiss personality is very cold.... the people are cold here...where is the big "mamma" attitude????
I am sorry but I do not want to be a cold mummy, with cold children....
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  #23  
Old 26.02.2016, 10:52
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

Well, that makes me a cold mom then... thanks for the compliment !
I can assure you that my baby is an extremely happy 10-months old boy, always laughing, joyful with others, eating well, sleeping very well... And all that with a working mom, who went back to work 100% after 14 weeks of maternity leave.

My opinion is that a happy mom is a good mom. And if being happy means having a full time day job, then that is the right way for you. Everyone is different, so let each mom make up her own mind on how she can be the best mom!

For me, it is pretty clear, working it is. Evenings and weekends are pure quality time where we play, go out for walks and discover new things while during weekdays some very qualified people take care of him.

So all moms out there, just do what makes you happy and where you feel most comfortable with. I am convinced that that is what reflects on your baby!
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  #24  
Old 26.02.2016, 10:57
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

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Hi there,

for me is insane to go back to work while your baby does not reach minimum 1 year old.

And even after that is only 50 %-60% job is acceptable for me.
I know how babies are learn they pattern copying us, and I want my baby to learn from me and not from other people (no idea with what kind of personality).

I studied a lot about babies and I worked in Kindergarten as well.

So mummies - my advice to stay with your little one as much as you can!
Enjoy her learning!
This is really not the time to build your carrier!

NO wonder why the world think about swiss personality is very cold.... the people are cold here...where is the big "mamma" attitude????
I am sorry but I do not want to be a cold mummy, with cold children....


Come on...! Each her own. Generalizing this is not a good idea, everyone´s situation and therefore decision is different.


And thanks for the compliment to all these working mums :-(
You do realize that some people have no choice?
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  #25  
Old 26.02.2016, 11:08
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

A very difficult decision to make indeed. But only you can know when the time comes. I never went back to work after the maternity was over cause my first born had some health problems which we found out only at birth.

3 years later I'm now a mother to two and still at home. Its not always easy and there are times when I question my sanity but at the same time I can't seem to hand them over completely to someone else and go back to work. They are growing up so fast and learning so much I feel I would miss out on a lot. And once they start school then theres no turning back. So for me this is my only chance to cuddle, kiss and just play with them. Most important of all this is my chance and time to bond with my children and build a strong base. After all my career won't last a life time and it would be too big a loss to have missed out on all this. A year from now I would definitely like to start working again even if only part time.

Another important thing to remember is that with children your days won't be under your control anymore(not 100%). Your child will be sick somedays, some days won't want to wake up just yet, won't finish food on time, teething, tantrums etc. etc. And if at those times you have an important meeting or appointment and are pressed for time it can be very stressful. I guess you would know better yourself when your baby is finally here. You can always decide/change your mind during your maternity leave.
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  #26  
Old 27.02.2016, 21:14
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

Personally, I always wanted to be a stay at home mom, and made that work by minding other people's children I always found it easiest to transition babies into care between about 6-9 months old. At a year old many babies have a much harder time transitioning. And I found the most difficult transitions between 18m and 2 years, lots of crying, having a hard time letting go of mom, after that it gets easier again. This is just my experience form a childcare provider's point of view.
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  #27  
Old 27.02.2016, 21:30
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

Some people go back after the mandated time, others extend, some return to work when they thought they'd stay at home and yet others who thought they'd go back never return.

It would be nice if everyone had the choice to go back or not. Since they don't, adopting a judgemental attitude on either is just self-righteousness.
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  #28  
Old 27.02.2016, 21:52
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

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I need an advice on how long do people usually stay at home with their babies before going back to work and how much they would have wanted to stay if they could.
I know that many working people take 14 official weeks of maternity leave and stretch it to 6 months using holidays and unpaid leave. After that they try to get a reduced (80 or 60%) work week. Those people whose employers do not allow such a long leave have to go straight back to work or give up their job altogether.
I will be unemployed after my maternity leave and I need to decide when I want to start looking for a job and therefore place my child in a daycare. From one side I don't want a delay in finding a new job (I should be more or less ok financially, but I have already spent a long time looking for a new job without much success so I don't want to relax and delay it even more). From another side I want to spend sufficient amount of time with my baby (for different people it means different things, I just don't know what it is for me and my baby). I guess, that if the paid maternity leave in this country was officially 6 months or 1 year I would take it all without hesitation.
What would be your advise in my situation?
I think being in a position to stay at home with your baby is great. First of all, it gives you time to get into a new way of life and your baby the consistency of who is tending after him or her. A baby needs so much attention, throughout any 24 hr period, that being dedicated to the job allows the best chance for the growth, both for mother and child.

It's not an easy choice, nor is either decision easy to live with. Unless there's no choice. Since you have a husband and the financial situation is under control, why not make a plan to spend a certain period time, e.g. the first 6 months, without worrying about joining the workforce again. This will allow you to work through the nights as your baby wants to feed or be restless and allow your husband the chance to rest for his long day at work. In this day and age, many husbands love the opportunity to come home from work and help wife with dinner or looking after the kid. So if you get support from your husband both financially and morally, then it will bring more harmony to the situation.

If you're like most expats, then you don't have extra family around to give your baby to while you work. This is a great option for locals who have the opportunity and many working mothers will use this. If an expat goes back to work, then it does cost alot of money for a 40 hr/wk nursery (ca. 2500CHF/mth). Some mommas may prefer to work, others are forced. In your case, it sounds like you're real interested to try to be a stay at home momma, so save yourself the anxiety and decide to dedicate yourself to it for a period of time. You can always give the baby to a nursery for half a day, or whatever, to give you some free time and try to build your baby's confidence for being away.

Worklife will always be there. Motherhood with a new born won't. There are many nice parks, other moms/babies to get to know, and loads of things to do for the home that can consume your time. I say make the most of it while you can. Nothing at all wrong with it.
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  #29  
Old 27.02.2016, 21:53
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

Do what makes you happy. No one can help you the way you can, we don't live in the 1950s anymore so women are now empowered to do anything they want. (even though the Swiss vote laws that remind the 50s)

Most kids have a fully working mom and didn't miss out on anything, plus these days if you really want to offer your kid all they need you'll need more than 1 salary in the house. So take as much time as you need to figure it out and do it, no wrong answers.

Also, if you try one approach and it doesnt work for you just change it. Switzerland is a very unfriendly place for women and especially mothers but that only makes the women here stronger and more will-powered to go after what they really want.

Kids don't benefit from unhappy parents, that's how you destroy their childhood.
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  #30  
Old 27.02.2016, 22:06
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

Do whatever you want and are financially able to do. Some mums don't work for 10 years after their babies are born. some work 100% after 3 months. Neither approach will lead to better or worse children or better or worse mums. Each to their own.
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  #31  
Old 27.02.2016, 22:14
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

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Hi there,

for me is insane to go back to work while your baby does not reach minimum 1 year old.

And even after that is only 50 %-60% job is acceptable for me.
I know how babies are learn they pattern copying us, and I want my baby to learn from me and not from other people (no idea with what kind of personality).

I studied a lot about babies and I worked in Kindergarten as well.

So mummies - my advice to stay with your little one as much as you can!
Enjoy her learning!
This is really not the time to build your carrier!

NO wonder why the world think about swiss personality is very cold.... the people are cold here...where is the big "mamma" attitude????
I am sorry but I do not want to be a cold mummy, with cold children....
Why did you resurrect this post from 2013 niii to give such stupid, pathetic "advice"??? Me, I stayed at home the first 3 years, but it's all personal choice, as well as all the factors stated from all the others here (and believe me, there is a lot of very qualified advice based on a great deal of experience from people with and without children - more than "having worked a bit in a Kindergarten"), and has nothing to do with you having "studied a lot about babies".

Sorry, I'm not usually wording so strongly, but I really take offence to your first post. People look to getting input from others on EF, and such a biased view which says that any woman not following your way of doing things is a "cold mummy who will end-up bringing up cold (or even worse - Swiss) children" really makes my blood boil.

Last edited by ZuriRollt; 27.02.2016 at 22:43.
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