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Old 27.11.2013, 17:06
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How long would you stay at home with your baby?

I need an advice on how long do people usually stay at home with their babies before going back to work and how much they would have wanted to stay if they could.
I know that many working people take 14 official weeks of maternity leave and stretch it to 6 months using holidays and unpaid leave. After that they try to get a reduced (80 or 60%) work week. Those people whose employers do not allow such a long leave have to go straight back to work or give up their job altogether.
I will be unemployed after my maternity leave and I need to decide when I want to start looking for a job and therefore place my child in a daycare. From one side I don't want a delay in finding a new job (I should be more or less ok financially, but I have already spent a long time looking for a new job without much success so I don't want to relax and delay it even more). From another side I want to spend sufficient amount of time with my baby (for different people it means different things, I just don't know what it is for me and my baby). I guess, that if the paid maternity leave in this country was officially 6 months or 1 year I would take it all without hesitation.
What would be your advise in my situation?
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Old 27.11.2013, 17:16
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

It will be different for everyone, depending on a number of factors. Most important considerations may be length of breastfeeding, age sleeping through the night, associated feeding or medical conditions, ie. reflux, food intolerances, etc.. I would feel comfortable putting a child in the care of others if the above were achieved, but others may not. Definitely the first year is the most difficult.
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Old 27.11.2013, 17:20
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

I think you are the only one that can answer that. Some women never go back to work, or wait until the child starts kindergarten. Others can't wait to get a nanny or leave them 5 days a week in a daycare. I guess you have to work out where you stand in that range.

From my own experience, I took 5 months (14 weeks mat. leave then topped it up with holiday and time owing), then went back first at 60% then moved it back up to 100% after a few months.
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Old 27.11.2013, 17:29
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

It also depends on what industry you work in. With what I do taking a year off would have been career suicide so that was never an option.
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Old 27.11.2013, 17:33
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

it depends and you'll surely change your mind when the baby is here- either you'll feel ready to go and see adults or you'll want to stay with baby. either choice is fine and good as long as mommy is happy and baby is happy
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Old 27.11.2013, 19:02
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

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It will be different for everyone, depending on a number of factors. Most important considerations may be length of breastfeeding, age sleeping through the night, associated feeding or medical conditions, ie. reflux, food intolerances, etc.. I would feel comfortable putting a child in the care of others if the above were achieved, but others may not. Definitely the first year is the most difficult.
Thanks for your reply. I guess I just have to wait and see how all these factors develop. I definitely want to breastfeed but I don't know how long is advisable and doable.
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Old 27.11.2013, 19:04
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

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I think you are the only one that can answer that. Some women never go back to work, or wait until the child starts kindergarten. Others can't wait to get a nanny or leave them 5 days a week in a daycare. I guess you have to work out where you stand in that range.

From my own experience, I took 5 months (14 weeks mat. leave then topped it up with holiday and time owing), then went back first at 60% then moved it back up to 100% after a few months.
That sounds like most people with a career I know did. Unfortunately I don't have a job to go back to so I need to decide myself how long to stay at home. I guess 5-6 months is about right.
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Old 27.11.2013, 19:07
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

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It also depends on what industry you work in. With what I do taking a year off would have been career suicide so that was never an option.
I don't have a job to go back to and taking a year off won't increase my chances of getting one More relaxed about career people would say that something will come up eventually. I am just not that relaxed and confident.
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Old 27.11.2013, 19:09
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

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it depends and you'll surely change your mind when the baby is here- either you'll feel ready to go and see adults or you'll want to stay with baby. either choice is fine and good as long as mommy is happy and baby is happy
I think you are right, when the baby comes I might think all different. I guess I can postpone the kindergarten, just need to find out what are the fees for that.
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Old 27.11.2013, 19:19
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

I feel like my baby needed me for the first six months of his life, and I needed him in the following six. And by that I mean I loved being with him to see his milestones - teeth, crawling, walking, words etc.

At 12 months I really felt ready to be away from him for a significant amount of the day, and felt that he would be fine without me as well.
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Old 27.11.2013, 19:19
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

A couple things you may need to keep in mind are that daycare in CH is usually quite expensive (sometimes equals an entire salary), so it doesn't always make sense, economically, for the mother to work, depending on how much she earns. Also, many or perhaps all daycares have a minimum age requirement for the babies they will accept. In my son's daycare, I've never seen a baby there that is less than 6 months old.

I have heard of a study that showed mothers to be happier when they are in the workforce and not at home all day, playing Mommy. Of course, though, that must vary for each individual mother. I do think some mothers can handle the stress of having to constantly watch a child much better than others. For me, personally, there were many times that I found myself wishing I could be out of the house, even if it meant sitting at a desk somewhere. Sometimes I just really needed a break. (I admit it!)
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Old 27.11.2013, 19:35
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

Dear mums, for me the right ways is to stay near the babe as much as it is possible. Those are the best moments of the mother's life, and the kids are growing so fast
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Old 27.11.2013, 19:42
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

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A couple things you may need to keep in mind are that daycare in CH is usually quite expensive (sometimes equals an entire salary), so it doesn't always make sense, economically, for the mother to work, depending on how much she earns. Also, many or perhaps all daycares have a minimum age requirement for the babies they will accept. In my son's daycare, I've never seen a baby there that is less than 6 months old.

I have heard of a study that showed mothers to be happier when they are in the workforce and not at home all day, playing Mommy. Of course, though, that must vary for each individual mother. I do think some mothers can handle the stress of having to constantly watch a child much better than others. For me, personally, there were many times that I found myself wishing I could be out of the house, even if it meant sitting at a desk somewhere. Sometimes I just really needed a break. (I admit it!)
Yes, daycares are very expensive and the entire salary or most of it may go to cover that expenses. I just think that having a job (I mean a good job which requires specific qualification) is a good investment in the future. The baby will grow up, go to school and eventually leave home but if a mother is out of a job market for a long time it might be difficult for her to get a job later. Plus being a foreigner impose additional risks. If something bad happens and I don't have any support I don't want to go back to my home country I am just thinking too practically I would love to stay at home with the baby for the first year, if the official maternity leave was that long I would do it without a doubt. I am just trying to pick the best scenario for myself and the baby. So it's good to hear other people's experiences.
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Old 27.11.2013, 19:43
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

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Dear mums, for me the right ways is to stay near the babe as much as it is possible. Those are the best moments of the mother's life, and the kids are growing so fast
You are probably right, my mother's hormones didn't kick in yet and I am being too practical. Thanks for your opinion!
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Old 27.11.2013, 19:45
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

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I feel like my baby needed me for the first six months of his life, and I needed him in the following six. And by that I mean I loved being with him to see his milestones - teeth, crawling, walking, words etc.

At 12 months I really felt ready to be away from him for a significant amount of the day, and felt that he would be fine without me as well.
I am sure I would love being a mom and experience how my baby grows up. I wish the official maternity leave was longer in this country!
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Old 27.11.2013, 20:07
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

Hi there!

My experience is as follows:
1st child I worked 100% until delivered (almost literally) and I went back to work 80%when baby was 4.5 months. It was a tad short but because of my work circumstances, it was the right thing to do, but I would have enjoyed staying home mabye 2 more months because I felt "just when it gets easy I need to work" in a very shallow way, the time of the year played a role too as it was march and sunny days were starting.

2nd child I went 50% 2 months before delivery and stopped working 1 month before. I went back 80% again when baby was almost 6months and it was fine.

I also feel at about 6 months baby start being interested in other babies so the nursery is a good environment and it is full of nice young girls who LOVE the children but mainly LOVE playing with them, reading to them, taking them out etc (something I find sometimes quite exhausting)

So personally I feel 6 months is right. Also 6 months from a career standpoint is doable, more could be difficult.

Another thing to consider is how much help you can get from your partner in terms of sharing pick up/drop down duties. Without this it is hard as your work days are very short (or you end up leaving the baby very long in the krippe).

So overall, if you can wait to decide, I would say wait and see how you feel about this whole motherhoos thing some love it, some love their children to bits but are so happy at work

You will find your way!
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Old 27.11.2013, 20:11
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

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I
What would be your advise in my situation?
er, discuss it with the father?

as can be seen from my photo (when I was heavily pregnant with the twins), I've had a little experience with children.
My input as a father (strategic as well as financial) was not only welcome, but also useful

on a serious note, all mums should be able to look after themselves if needs be.
many of us have seen sob and even horror stories; don't let it happen to you.
and the economy, and society, need well-educated women to have children and careers!
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Old 27.11.2013, 20:18
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

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I am sure I would love being a mom and experience how my baby grows up. I wish the official maternity leave was longer in this country!
I felt the same before my 2 arrived
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Old 28.11.2013, 11:36
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

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Hi there!

My experience is as follows:
1st child I worked 100% until delivered (almost literally) and I went back to work 80%when baby was 4.5 months. It was a tad short but because of my work circumstances, it was the right thing to do, but I would have enjoyed staying home mabye 2 more months because I felt "just when it gets easy I need to work" in a very shallow way, the time of the year played a role too as it was march and sunny days were starting.

2nd child I went 50% 2 months before delivery and stopped working 1 month before. I went back 80% again when baby was almost 6months and it was fine.

I also feel at about 6 months baby start being interested in other babies so the nursery is a good environment and it is full of nice young girls who LOVE the children but mainly LOVE playing with them, reading to them, taking them out etc (something I find sometimes quite exhausting)

So personally I feel 6 months is right. Also 6 months from a career standpoint is doable, more could be difficult.

Another thing to consider is how much help you can get from your partner in terms of sharing pick up/drop down duties. Without this it is hard as your work days are very short (or you end up leaving the baby very long in the krippe).

So overall, if you can wait to decide, I would say wait and see how you feel about this whole motherhoos thing some love it, some love their children to bits but are so happy at work

You will find your way!
Thank you for such an honest and detailed reply. At the moment I have a daycare organised that I'll be with the baby for 4.5 months. I'll see then whether I can delay it by 2 more months (6 months total seem to be the most frequent answer given to me ), and if I don't find a job then I can stay longer with the baby anyways. I should probably just relax and see how it goes. Oh, planning brain, stop thinking too much!
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Old 28.11.2013, 11:42
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Re: How long would you stay at home with your baby?

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er, discuss it with the father?

as can be seen from my photo (when I was heavily pregnant with the twins), I've had a little experience with children.
My input as a father (strategic as well as financial) was not only welcome, but also useful

on a serious note, all mums should be able to look after themselves if needs be.
many of us have seen sob and even horror stories; don't let it happen to you.
and the economy, and society, need well-educated women to have children and careers!
Thanks. The father knows less than I do about what's best to do He is definitely not the one who will encourage me to be a stay at home mom for long but he will support my decision if I decide to do it. We both want to have children and careers. Just need to figure out the exact timing
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