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  #61  
Old 25.03.2008, 18:59
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Re: Advice to my 14 year old, why not to look at porn!!

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those aren't really fair comparisons
True, but they are the kinds of things that addictive types will allow to take over their behaviour.

Anyway. After posting, I'm inclined to think that at age 14, the emphasis ought to be on getting outside and doing something more productive. I think I'll reconsider this post when mine are a little older and I have to worry about the same problem.
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Old 25.03.2008, 20:42
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Re: Advice to my 14 year old, why not to look at porn!!

You are going to have bigger problems than this to worry about in the near future ! So , just get Mr. Zulu to have a word with him about responsibility with information ( of a sexual nature ) from the internet and this situation need not enter crisis level . The craze/fad/whatever they call it these day will soon die off and he will move on to the next 'phase' .

Alternatively , if you are on a crusade to 'drive the demons out ' , you could do what my father did when he caught me smoking at a young age : He locked me in a room with a carton of ciggies and a lighter and refused to let me out until I had smoked every single one ! This worked in that day and age ( 70s ) ....

I am not trying to take the mickey , but the points I am trying to make is :

1) There are lots of other things that he could be doing that are worse than this
2) The punishments that we were subjected to in those days for our misdemeanors may not work today .

Just 2 rappen worth from someone who used to be a curios 14 year old boy ( I am also a father of a young boy and am not in a hurry for him to turn 14 just yet ) .
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  #63  
Old 26.03.2008, 10:49
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Re: Advice to my 14 year old, why not to look at porn!!

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Alternatively , if you are on a crusade to 'drive the demons out ' , you could do what my father did when he caught me smoking at a young age : He locked me in a room with a carton of ciggies and a lighter and refused to let me out until I had smoked every single one ! This worked in that day and age ( 70s ) ....
Didn't with my older brother. My father tried that with him when he was around 12 and he smoked 60 a day until he was in his mid 50s. Happily he has now given up.

Nobody heard of H & E then??
  #64  
Old 26.03.2008, 12:04
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Re: Advice to my 14 year old, why not to look at porn!!

Dare I say boys will be boys and at that age their hormones are raging?

There are two things that are probably going on with him- he wants to see how "it" is done and he probably is getting excited himself. (And a friend said "look at this site... it's FREE!").

You Porn at best is boring and a bit gross (I'm sure you have looked at it to see what he was watching) but not for him. I understand as a parent the "omg, not my child factor"... but at least you know what he is thinking about and can go from there.

I agree with the men around here, have Dad suss things out with him.

I think the best thing we can try teach our children about sex is respect and responsability. And that it is something wonderful, not bad or dirty.
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Old 31.03.2008, 01:02
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Re: Advice to my 14 year old, why not to look at porn!!

My original post is not worth reading.

Last edited by grey; 07.04.2008 at 14:51.
  #66  
Old 31.03.2008, 07:30
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Re: Advice to my 14 year old, why not to look at porn!!

I always know when my sons (14, 17 and 20) have been 'exploring' the porn sites as the history is removed on the computer!

I remember the eldest finding it and me feeling exactly as Zulu. I personally dealt with it by talking to them and investing in the joy of sex book, (explicit enough but with the emphasis on the relationship).

I do not want them to be misogynists who have unrealistic expectations of themselves and their sexual partners, so needed to convey that sex is fun, interesting but something that has to be respected.

I just had to have reassurance that they had the right perspective without crushing their natural curiosity.

Interestingly, I watched a program on TV that claimed because males often have no other reference point, other than porn, they feel inadequate with their equipment, fearing that it is too small compared to the male porn actors... So I can understand the adverse effects of porn if it is view without precaution.
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Old 02.04.2008, 18:15
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Re: Advice to my 14 year old, why not to look at porn!!

Parental controls on a computer are limited (and con be circumvented). The best option is to have the computer where he can be seen i.e. in the main living area and not in his room (same goes for a TV, no reaons for kids to have one in thier room). IMHO
  #68  
Old 05.04.2008, 20:53
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Re: Advice to my 14 year old, why not to look at porn!!

Funniest thread EVER! Give the kid a break! What is with the "porn is not real sex" attitude? Porn is as real as those classy erotic movies that some seem to be promoting. What is "real" anyway? If something is not real for you then it could be real for someone else. Different strokes for different folks. Let's not judge the whole world's sex life based on our own
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  #69  
Old 06.04.2008, 19:59
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Re: Advice to my 14 year old, why not to look at porn!!

you cant stop him... even though if you block urls, there are ways around it like www.hidemyass.com and such...

once he's learned how to get porn, the only way to stop him is to take away computers from the house and lock him up... for instance, just google "naked girls" or "porno" and see what you get... i read somewhere that 70-80% of all internet sites are porn, so just tell him that the next time you catch him, you will format the memory of his PS3 or take away his cell phone and then he will hide his activites very carefully and you dont have to think about it any more. out of sight - out of mind...

and before you say "but i dont want him watching porn" i hate to tell you this, but he is probably well into puberty and teenage boys talk about one thing and one thing alone. sex. its nothing you can change. is the same if he is a lone wolf, a sports jock or a science nerd...
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Old 06.04.2008, 20:12
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Re: Advice to my 14 year old, why not to look at porn!!

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Parental controls on a computer are limited (and con be circumvented). The best option is to have the computer where he can be seen i.e. in the main living area and not in his room (same goes for a TV, no reaons for kids to have one in thier room). IMHO
Would be a good attempt, but nothing to stop him going to his mate's house pc, whose parents don't have the same control.
No easy answer here. So different to when many of us grew up, getting a porno mag. was like a prized gem - difficult to get
  #71  
Old 18.10.2009, 11:46
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Re: Advice to my 14 year old, why not to look at porn!!

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I'm of the mind that you sit down and explain to him that pornography is "made-up" and not representative of actual sex.
Made-up? I think a 14 year old boy knows the scenario, even a 14 year old can tell very bad acting & 'realise' that to get multiple shots you need a film crew taking up half the bedroom (unless its an amateur movie).... ...

I can see how it would go "Tommy, you know those movies you watch with naked people in them, they are not real....but made-up with actors"...blow me!
  #72  
Old 18.10.2009, 12:21
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Re: Advice to my 14 year old, why not to look at porn!!

Whatever you do to block or hide, any teenager will find away around it, think back to your own childhood......

(Anyway, most teenagers probably run circles around the average parent when it comes to technology !)
  #73  
Old 18.10.2009, 12:40
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Re: Advice to my 14 year old, why not to look at porn!!

All your son has done wrong is get caught. Schoolboy error, he will learn to be more careful next time.

(I have just noticed this thread is massively old; move along everyone ...)
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  #74  
Old 18.10.2009, 15:59
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Re: Advice to my 14 year old, why not to look at porn!!

The major difference between (most) magazines and the internet is that the internet is unregulated. There's no barrier between soft porn, hard core, and so-called "extreme". ( I.e. rape, s&m etc. ). You might not object to a 14 year old looking at pictures of naked breasts, but what about a video of anal rape (simulated or real)? And of course, being unregulated, you've no idea who the people in the pictures or videos are, and whether they have chosen to be part of your mastubatory fantasy, or have been coerced, as part of the human trafficking trade, or other criminal activity.

If you think that internet pornography is just a bit of smut and something to giggle about, then you really are living in a fantasy land... or don't know how to use a search engine.
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  #75  
Old 18.10.2009, 16:02
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Re: Advice to my 14 year old, why not to look at porn!!

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(I have just noticed this thread is massively old; move along everyone ...)
Darn - missed that, and I'm normally so careful. I wonder what "transition" was looking for that made him (or her) reply to this thread?
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  #76  
Old 18.10.2009, 16:09
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Re: Advice to my 14 year old, why not to look at porn!!

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Darn - missed that, and I'm normally so careful. I wonder what "transition" was looking for that made him (or her) reply to this thread?
I said the exact same thing and Uncle Max deleted my post. Odd.

EDIT - Just noticed the post he was responding to but still... how do you find a 1.5 year old thread about a minor watching porn? There are only very few applicable search terms...
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  #77  
Old 18.10.2009, 21:18
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Re: Advice to my 14 year old, why not to look at porn!!

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...
EDIT - Just noticed the post he was responding to but still... how do you find a 1.5 year old thread about a minor watching porn? There are only very few applicable search terms...
......................
  #78  
Old 18.10.2009, 22:02
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Re: Advice to my 14 year old, why not to look at porn!!

that's somebody's sister.
  #79  
Old 19.10.2009, 09:20
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Re: Advice to my 14 year old, why not to look at porn!!

I saw my first magazine (thanks brother) at 14. first movie (vhs) at 16. (moved quickly on the lesbian movies )

I always been conscious it was not the *real stuff*.

It's just a man's stuff, even our society *exploits* that....

Now with the facility of internet, I would be really careful about what kids can see. I've seen myself a few shocking pictures as I was try to look for some else.

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