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-   -   Children after Separation/Alimony (https://www.englishforum.ch/family-matters-health/222425-children-after-separation-alimony.html)

AMP16 20.11.2014 22:25

Children after Separation/Alimony
 
Hello,

My future husband has 2 kids, under the age of 6. He was never married to the mother. He pays child alimony. Once we are married, will this change the child alimony payment amount? Do you suggest we get legally married?

Also, once we have children of our own (my 1st child, and his 3rd child) how will the child alimony payment amounts that he pays be divided? Is it simply just divided by 3 children? Is it possible that he pay less for our child, than for his first 2 children, as I work 100% and the mother of the 2 kids works 50%?

Any advice on children after a separation is appreciated.

Sbrinz 21.11.2014 07:54

Re: Children after Separation/Alimony
 
In Switzerland every child receives a fixed amount depending on its age. The circumstances of the parent are irrelevant.
The amount IIRC is between about Fr 600 and Fr 1200 per month.

MsWorWoo 21.11.2014 08:04

Re: Children after Separation/Alimony
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sbrinz (Post 2286621)
In Switzerland every child receives a fixed amount depending on its age. The circumstances of the parent are irrelevant.
The amount IIRC is between about Fr 600 and Fr 1200 per month.

Oh, I get 600-1200 franks less than that. It is dependent to some extent on the circumstances of the parent, but, OP, once written in stone it is very hard to change the terms of agreement. Think about it, if you had a kid, and relied on the other parents financial support, how would you cope if s/he stopped paying or paid less maintenance because he has another kid now. Does that mean new kids are more important than the old? He made those kids, and he has a responsibilty to help raise them until they are adults, not just until he made another one.

lawyerd 21.11.2014 08:13

Re: Children after Separation/Alimony
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sbrinz (Post 2286621)
In Switzerland every child receives a fixed amount depending on its age. The circumstances of the parent are irrelevant.
The amount IIRC is between about Fr 600 and Fr 1200 per month.

I'm sorry this is absolutely untrue. The parents income is very much taken into account.

To the OP: Child alimony won't simply be split 3 ways if you have a child with your partner. A new calculation would be made for you.. considering you work full time the child alimony you would receive could quite possibly be less than the mother of his other children.

There are many factors you need to consider here. I personally would recommend marriage... Under Swiss Law the married family unit is still viewed as the primary family unit and the protections offered are a little greater than unmarried couples with children.

My advice would be to recommend you have a consultation with a lawyer to discuss your various concerns.

Mélusine 21.11.2014 08:26

Re: Children after Separation/Alimony
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sbrinz (Post 2286621)
In Switzerland every child receives a fixed amount depending on its age. The circumstances of the parent are irrelevant.
The amount IIRC is between about Fr 600 and Fr 1200 per month.

That's not true! The amount usually is a fixed percentage of the brut salary. 12% for one child, 15-18% for two. And this is not a set in stone rule, it can be discussed in court.

Edit: Lawyerd was faster :)

st2lemans 21.11.2014 08:29

Re: Children after Separation/Alimony
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mélusine (Post 2286639)
That's not true! The amount usually is a fixed percentage of the brut salary. 12% for one child, 15-18% for two. And this is not a set in stone rule, it can be discussed in court.

Edit: Lawyerd was faster :)

Depends on the canton.

I know someone who was ordered to pay 1300/month to start, increasing to 1600 after a few years, with a gross salary of 7k.

Tom

MsWorWoo 21.11.2014 11:36

Re: Children after Separation/Alimony
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mélusine (Post 2286639)
That's not true! The amount usually is a fixed percentage of the brut salary. 12% for one child, 15-18% for two. And this is not a set in stone rule, it can be discussed in court.

Edit: Lawyerd was faster :)

That's not true. my ex earns more than 0 brut (which is was 0.12 x what I get is)

swisspea 21.11.2014 12:21

Re: Children after Separation/Alimony
 
This is something to consider very carefully. If your income decreases this may also decrease the amount he has to pay for your child. But if his income increases then he has to pay an increased amount for the first children. This puts high pressure on you as the 'breadwinner'. And potentially very resentful about the first wife/family, if the wife can sustain on 50% salary.

It is something that very much needs to be entered 'eyes wide open'...especially as he is already someone who has come out of an unstable relationship / relationship breakdown. Your economic position could be greatly reduced if you have children and find yourself unable to work full time, or paying out very high childcare costs...

TenaciousJ 21.11.2014 12:35

Re: Children after Separation/Alimony
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by lawyerd (Post 2286629)
I personally would recommend marriage...



Precisely why getting married is a scary thing (for a man). Its a business transaction. What can I get out of it. :-)

dodgyken 21.11.2014 12:41

Re: Children after Separation/Alimony
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TenaciousJ (Post 2286820)
Precisely why getting married is a scary thing (for a man). Its a business transaction. What can I get out of it. :-)

What do you expect to get out of it?

TenaciousJ 21.11.2014 12:48

Re: Children after Separation/Alimony
 
Nothing at all. That's why I have no plans or needs to get married. :-)

Krash357 21.11.2014 13:36

Re: Children after Separation/Alimony
 
Stay single, brothers! There drawbacks of marriage outweigh the benefits :cool: And women seem to benefit way more than men from it.

Mélusine 21.11.2014 13:42

Re: Children after Separation/Alimony
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by abi_bouw (Post 2286770)
That's not true. my ex earns more than 0 brut (which is was 0.12 x what I get is)

A judge granted that he pays nothing for his kids???

TenaciousJ 21.11.2014 13:43

Re: Children after Separation/Alimony
 
Precisely my opinion too Krash. Nothing in life lasts forever or is a definite, only eventual death is guaranteed.








Why get locked into a costly "contractual obligations" for no real benefit.

TenaciousJ 21.11.2014 13:44

Re: Children after Separation/Alimony
 
Paying for the kids is not as problem, paying for the ex is. :-)

dodgyken 21.11.2014 13:49

Re: Children after Separation/Alimony
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TenaciousJ (Post 2286885)
Why get locked into a costly "contractual obligations" for no real benefit.

Quote:

Originally Posted by TenaciousJ (Post 2286888)
Paying for the kids is not as problem, paying for the ex is. :-)

I'm going to regret asking, but define "contractual obligations"? You also infer that a marriage is about a woman taking and a man giving. Do you believe it is all one way?

Assuming you don't want children then marriage certainly may not work for you. The flipside is that as you get older you'll be chasing the same age women, and don't think for a second they are with you for your expanding waist line, receding hairline and witty banter. They'll be expecting you to we well endowed in the trouser department**










** as in pocket, as in large wallet.

Krash357 21.11.2014 14:01

Re: Children after Separation/Alimony
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by dodgyken (Post 2286894)
I'm going to regret asking, but define "contractual obligations"? You also infer that a marriage is about a woman taking and a man giving. Do you believe it is all one way?

Assuming you don't want children then marriage certainly may not work for you. The flipside is that as you get older you'll be chasing the same age women, and don't think for a second they are with you for your expanding waist line, receding hairline and witty banter. They'll be expecting you to we well endowed in the trouser department**




** as in pocket, as in large wallet.

If you think about all the savings a man would make by not getting married and not having children, it is pretty much guaranteed that you will have money left in your trousers. Moreover, the women you mention will have long lost their good looks too, so they will have lowered their standards for physical appearance. Win-win for the single men.

nejc 21.11.2014 14:01

Re: Children after Separation/Alimony
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by TenaciousJ (Post 2286888)
Paying for the kids is not as problem, paying for the ex is. :-)

Don't be cheap then. Go for a successful independant woman who has her own life and you will not be paying for her after divorce.
Or maybe even better, go for a woman that earns much more then you, discontinue your career and you should get some of "her" money in divorce process.
No need to pay for gold digging bimbos. Except they are the only one you can get.

TenaciousJ 21.11.2014 14:03

Re: Children after Separation/Alimony
 
> I'm going to regret asking, but define "contractual obligations"? You also infer that a marriage is about a woman taking and a man giving. Do you believe it is all one way?



No, both can and should give equally in a relationship. But, if, for whatever reason, the relationship comes to an end, why should the man (and it often is the case), have to pay out lots of money?


Why can the woman not throughout the relationship be financially self-sufficient (or look after her future) and why should the man be responsible for her future financial well-being? Marriage should surely not be about a paycheck or a financial benefit for the woman?

> Assuming you don't want children then marriage certainly may not work for you. The flipside is that as you get older you'll be chasing the same age women, and don't think for a second they are with you for your expanding waist line, receding hairline and witty banter. They'll be expecting you to we well endowed in the trouser department**


Actually, with women that are looking for financial interests first (endowed in the wallet department), age won't be much of a problem. If a man is only measured on his financial worth, then as he gets older (wealthier) his worth increases. This sort of woman would only lose value as she increases. It does not make economical sense to pay for (invest) in a depreciated (and constantly depreciating) asset.


And no, I'm not a banker. :-)


And one does not have to get married to have children, especially considering many marriages fail. I just see no value in getting married.

TenaciousJ 21.11.2014 14:06

Re: Children after Separation/Alimony
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by nejc (Post 2286908)
Don't be cheap then. Go for a successful independant woman who has her own life and you will not be paying for her after divorce.
Or maybe even better, go for a woman that earns much more then you, discontinue your career and you should get some of "her" money in divorce process.
No need to pay for gold digging bimbos. Except they are the only one you can get.

l


Funny post. Thanks.


I have never heard of a woman having to pay a man after a divorce. And I certainly wouldn't be going into a relationship/marriage with a "what will I get out of it expectation".


Funny you even thought about mentioning that, you just proved my point. :-) {I assume you are a woman}


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