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-   -   I don't want to do anything. (https://www.englishforum.ch/family-matters-health/237826-i-don-t-want-do-anything.html)

NKJune 27.07.2015 23:18

I don't want to do anything.
 
Hi, I'm from Japan and living a small municipality in Switzerlad with my husband and 2 little kids. I'm not an employee.


I have gradually gotten used the daily life, but, it is not that I like here.
Recently I don't want to anything.
My friends ask me to go to eat, but I want stay at home alone.
My dauther's classmate's moms invite us to thier house, but I want to refuse their asking.
I don't want to see someone who I know when I'm outside.


About my daily life, I can manage it without problem for now.
However, it seems that I intentionally to avoid involving with others.
When I meet someone who I know accidentally, I can behave socially. I think it is like acting.


I never know the reason why I lost my sociality.
Do you think that I have any mental problem?
Should I go to see a doctor?

MsWorWoo 27.07.2015 23:33

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
If you think you should see your dr you should see your dr.
Sounds to me like apathy, which is a sign of depression, very treatable.
But might be viral... Epstein Barr. Or nutritional.
See a doctor and be honest with them.

banadol 28.07.2015 11:34

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Maybe it's just a bout of expat blues, maybe you are getting depressed. If you are not feeling happy, and you feel like seeing a doctor, you should definitely do it.

We all have darker moments but there should be lots of sunshine in between. All the best and hope you feel that sunshine again soon!

Phil_MCR 28.07.2015 12:02

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Welcome to my world. :p

Vlh22 28.07.2015 12:17

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
If your feelings are worrying you, go and see your doctor.

You might find it helpful to write a list of how you are feeling before you go, as going to talk to your doctor about something like this can be very overwhelming and you may find that you get there and struggle to talk.

Your doctor may refer you to a psychiatrist. This does not mean that you are 'mad' and is not something to be ashamed of. It's just that here most mental health problems are treated by a psychiatrist (or a psychologist working under a psychiatrist). Your doctor may or may not feel capable of treating you.

I hope you find the help you need. Please don't wait... your health is the most important thing you have and some problems need treating as soon as possible.

smackerjack 28.07.2015 20:47

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
You really need to confide in your husband about your feelings and maybe he can come with you to visit the Drs.
From your profile you seem to have not been that long in Switzerland and maybe now reality has set in you might be feeling depressed if your previous life entailed a career and you feel a bit lost.
Do you have a close friend who you could confide your feelings to, if you have not discussed this with family.
Feelings like this are very common and i have known many people who have moved from familiar surroundings to another country.
Seek help and let us know how you get on.

FrankZappa 31.07.2015 13:53

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
As well as the other suggestions that have been made, you might like to check out "journal therapy". It may sound improbable, but writing a diary of your feelings is often very helpful in defining a problem and even moving towards solving it. It costs nothing and is often very effective.

You already had the good idea of sharing your problem on englishforum. Don't hesitate to come back whenever you feel the need to express yourself.

oosoo 31.07.2015 14:37

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by FrankZappa (Post 2426917)
You already had the good idea of sharing your problem on englishforum. Don't hesitate to come back whenever you feel the need to express yourself.

Exactly, maybe start from "talking" with people online, family/friends/EFers...

Hope you get better soon!

NKJune 04.08.2015 23:27

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Thank you all, and sorry for the belated reply.


After posting this thread, I talked with my best friend and sisters in-low about my condition first. (Because to see a doctor about the mental issue is high hurdle for me because of my English skill.)
They say, the reason why I'm trouble with my condition is definetly the relationship with my husband.
Actually, I have a problem with my husband. It is the old story, right?
I have thought those 2 issues are completely different, but their opinion may be true.


Do you know the phrase " A couple is a opposite mirror."?
I believe this, so I have tried to introspect and improve our relationship for the last 2 years.
Now, I may want to get off this game and take a rest.
My husband has lived with me and our kids like a single man. He is a good father, but he might not be able to understand the other's pain.
Anyway, I stopped to make effort any more.
I'm tired. That's true.


I will come return to my home country with my kids if the condition would get worse.

Guest 04.08.2015 23:54

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by NKJune (Post 2428722)
Thank you all, and sorry for the belated reply.


After posting this thread, I talked with my best friend and sisters in-low about my condition first. (Because to see a doctor about the mental issue is high hurdle for me because of my English skill.)
They say, the reason why I'm trouble with my condition is definetly the relationship with my husband.
Actually, I have a problem with my husband. It is the old story, right?
I have thought those 2 issues are completely different, but their opinion may be true.


Do you know the phrase " A couple is a opposite mirror."?
I believe this, so I have tried to introspect and improve our relationship for the last 2 years.
Now, I may want to get off this game and take a rest.
My husband has lived with me and our kids like a single man. He is a good father, but he might not be able to understand the other's pain.
Anyway, I stopped to make effort any more.
I'm tired. That's true.


I will come return to my home country with my kids if the condition would get worse.

I found a Dr in Geneva who might possibly speak Japanese - perhaps you might want to call him up and ask him if he can refer you to a dr colleague or a psychologist who speaks Japanese?
Here's another Dr, apparently they speak Japanese.
Take care of things before they get worse, don't wait until they do and then burden yourself with the hunt for help.

Best of luck.

NKJune 05.08.2015 21:38

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Quote:

I found a Dr in Geneva who might possibly speak Japanese - perhaps you might want to call him up and ask him if he can refer you to a dr colleague or a psychologist who speaks Japanese?
Here's another Dr, apparently they speak Japanese.
Take care of things before they get worse, don't wait until they do and then burden yourself with the hunt for help.

Best of luck.


Thank you so much for your kindness. I didn't know those doctor.
Today I gave up to appeal to my husband and asked him to care of our kids. I could spend the time only for myself. I know I need more relax..

Guest 05.08.2015 21:44

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by NKJune (Post 2429081)
Thank you so much for your kindness. I didn't know those doctor.
Today I gave up to appeal to my husband and asked him to care of our kids. I could spend the time only for myself. I know I need more relax..

Wonderful of you to reply! :)

Please call the doctors and get them to help you, it looks like you need to get outside help. Perhaps with this help you will be able to better deal with your husband and kids, but first and foremost, I hope it helps you feel better.

If you can't reach the doctors on your first try, please clearly tell the person on the phone that you are in need of a doctor now and that the Japanese language requirement is very important for you to state your needs completely and in the way you'd like to. Ask for the doctor to call you back ASAP and say that you will call back next day in case you miss the doctor's call. Ask which timespan is best for you to call - and don't let people try to tell you things are good if they aren't - you're the best judge of your feelings and state of health.

Again, best of luck!

NKJune 05.08.2015 21:47

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by FrankZappa (Post 2426917)
As well as the other suggestions that have been made, you might like to check out "journal therapy". It may sound improbable, but writing a diary of your feelings is often very helpful in defining a problem and even moving towards solving it. It costs nothing and is often very effective.

You already had the good idea of sharing your problem on englishforum. Don't hesitate to come back whenever you feel the need to express yourself.





Thank you for youre advice. I have only to write a diary?

Chuff 05.08.2015 21:56

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by NKJune (Post 2425086)
Do you think that I have any mental problem?
Should I go to see a doctor?

Sounds completely normal for a Japanese person forced to interact with those dishonourable Gaijin. Don't worry, you're fine.

Guest 05.08.2015 21:57

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by NKJune (Post 2429090)
Thank you for youre advice. I have only to write a diary?

Perhaps, maybe showing it to your therapist/doctor might be helpful to help evaluate things further.
Maybe FZ will chime in later. :)

NKJune 08.08.2015 00:02

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Quote:

Perhaps, maybe showing it to your therapist/doctor might be helpful to help evaluate things further.
Maybe FZ will chime in later. :)


I got it. Certainly.
To write even the first word is hard to me for now, I think it is helpful to sort out my feelings.
Thanks.

slammer 08.08.2015 00:39

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Phil_MCR (Post 2425264)
Welcome to my world. :p

Aww Phil buddy I would never have guessed:msnsad:

RTN 08.08.2015 09:11

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
The diary is a good first step.
Use doctor. ch to search for doctors they list languages .
If you are considering a therapist, try and find a male therapist, not being sexist just that if your husband attends with you at some stage he will feel less threatened if he is not that open. Also a male can explain things to a male in terms which are more acceptable, been there myself.

Lastly, any lasting change requires a first step this is not easy. One way is to act 'as if ' so you can practice being outgoing even if you are not feeling it inside, like fitness it doesn't come with one trip to the gym, it happens as a byproduct of repeated actions.

planetali 08.08.2015 12:39

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Although in a different home situation from you NK I have felt the same way. It is good if you can force yourself to go out and socialise, as RTN says, with practice it can become easier and will improve your mood. But if you're really beyond that, go get help from a doctor. I appreciate this is difficult, not just because of the language, but the cultural aspect you mention. But a good doctor can help you to sort out what the underlying problem is - it may not be your husband, friends, although they mean well - and they may be right - may not be objective enough to assess the situation fully. You've taken the first step asking for help here, well done - that's a big one, but we're not professionals either and we don't know you. Take the next step, be brave. And if it leads to medication, don't be ashamed. I remember once speaking to a counsellor at my workplace in the UK and saying I didn't want medication, I was scared of the stigma. She said, you know, 50% of the employees here (big corporate employer) are on it!

FrankZappa 08.08.2015 12:42

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by RTN (Post 2430161)
The diary is a good first step.
Use doctor. ch to search for doctors they list languages .
If you are considering a therapist, try and find a male therapist, not being sexist just that if your husband attends with you at some stage he will feel less threatened if he is not that open. Also a male can explain things to a male in terms which are more acceptable, been there myself.

Lastly, any lasting change requires a first step this is not easy. One way is to act 'as if ' so you can practice being outgoing even if you are not feeling it inside, like fitness it doesn't come with one trip to the gym, it happens as a byproduct of repeated actions.

I must disagree with the idea of choosing a male therapist. First, I imagine that the problem would be much easier to discuss with a woman. Second, it is a very bad idea for the second member of a couple to join an ongoing client/therapist relationship. I think many decent therapists would not even allow it. If a couple needs to consult together, then they should find another therapist.

doropfiz 08.08.2015 13:50

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
NKJune, from your writing here, I guess that you probably speak English well enough to seek an English-speaking therapist.
However, I understand the cultural issues, and that speaking in your mother tongue might be a real relief.
http://www.praxiskeikomiyake.com/home.htm
http://www.praxiskeikomiyake.com/ambula.htm in Geneva

I do not know this therapist, but found her in
http://psychotherapie.ch/content/f/t...p?N1=Mediation de place de thérapie, where you can search by language.

I'd like to encourage you about therapy. Sometimes, people imagine that going to a therapist means that you are "mad" or "crazy" or a "hopeless case" and that speaking to a therapist will automatically mean that you are immediately sent away to a locked clinic. That is not the case. Some people find it helpful to speak to a therapist just a few times, maybe 2 to 10 visits of, say, an hour every week or every second week, and in that time they find their own way out of their problems. There is a growing trend towards short-term therapy. Of course, others find out that they need long-term help, and there is no shame in that, either.

In any case, when you start looking for a therapist, it is a good idea to ask him or her about the costs. Sometimes, these are paid for by the medical insurance. But sometimes you will have to pay a part (or even all) of the fees yourself. It is best to understand how it works from the start.

And even if you cannot afford to pay for ongoing treatment yourself, in your specific case it might be worth your while to see someone Japanese-speaking at least once, and then ask to be referred to someone English-speaking, whose costs are covered by the medical insurance.

There’s also the Japan Club in Geneva…. Just in case you don’t already know it. Perhaps someone there could help you to think things through.
http://www.japanclubge.ch/


michael_b01 08.08.2015 13:54

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
It sounds like you may have an avoidant personality disorder. Here's a link to an article you may want to read.

$http://psychcentral.com/disorders/av...rder-symptoms/

I hope you are able to treat it sooner than later. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to overcome it.

Guest 08.08.2015 14:47

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by michael_b01 (Post 2430234)
It sounds like you may have an avoidant personality disorder. Here's a link to an article you may want to read.

$http://psychcentral.com/disorders/av...rder-symptoms/

I hope you are able to treat it sooner than later. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to overcome it.

I think you really should abstain from attempting to diagnose someone over the internet. That's a medical doctor's job, and only the job of one who has personally seen and examined OP at that. Please don't start this here. Thank you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by doropfiz (Post 2430232)
In any case, when you start looking for a therapist, it is a good idea to ask him or her about the costs. Sometimes, these are paid for by the medical insurance. But sometimes you will have to pay a part (or even all) of the fees yourself. It is best to understand how it works from the start.

doropfiz, it's the provider's job to tell the patient about the costs, not the patient's job to ask.
The patient then should ask if the payment is done tiers garant or tiers payant (does patient pay the bill sent by the provider to the patient to the insurance company and they refund, or does patient pay the bill to the insurance company after the company has paid the provider and billed the patient?
But you're right, it's good to know which amount they charge anyway.

Longbyt 08.08.2015 14:58

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
I can only add my voice to the others - that you do something about this difficult set of feelings you have. A doctor may well be able to put a finger on what triggered it off and how best to find a way out of a black downward spiral.
Although everyone's situtation is different, there are enough folk on here who have, at some point, needed help from outside to enable them to 'see the sunshine' again.

After a year in Switzerland, the first feelings of - there are problems in a new country but I will solve them in time - begin to diminish and we realise that we may be stuck with some of them. Some barriers are overcome, but new hurdles replace them. Language skills improve but the 'mentality divide' still remains. Bringing up children in a strange environment is a real challenge. Sometimes parents (particularly those of different backgrounds) have completely different ideas about bringing up children (things they never thought of as being an issue until the children were born). Sometimes husbands feel neglected or shut out when small children are involved.

I'm NOT suggesting that any of these things are a problem in your case. They are simply ideas which poured into my fingers when I was thinking back to my own first years here. And I could speak German, I looked European and had no children to tire me out!

I wish you all the best. Come on here when you need to. The folk on this Thread will most likely be those with their own rucksack load of problems, in the past at least, and will understand the benefit of a listening ear (or a reading eye).

doropfiz 08.08.2015 15:14

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Quote:

doropfiz, it's the provider's job to tell the patient about the costs, not the patient's job to ask.
.


Yes, glowjupiter, in the best of worlds that is certainly the case. It is, indeed, the provider's responsibility. But not all do so correctly.

I point it out to people who are considering therapy for the very first time because I've repeatedly seen that it can feel like a jungle trying to understand the differences (as far as the treatments is concerned, and as far as the costs are concerned) between a registered medical doctor, a psychiatrist, a psychotherapist, a registered psychologist, a coach or a life counsellor, and that the medical insurance companies in Switzerland are not consistent in the way they do or don't cover the costs. Therefore, it is worth asking both the provider AND one's own medical insurance company about that specific provider.

goiye12 09.08.2015 17:07

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Hello, if i may recommend please listen to The signs your body gives do not fight thèm, rather satisfy them:). Rest if you are tired and eat what you crave (exception for meat and Milk produits those must be contrôles). but qualité foods with no chemicals additives, But just dont déviate from correct moral standards, killing, strealling, adultury etc ... the human body has phases and is not constant like Waves up and down then up Again and so on some Waves higher other slower DO NOT make any Quick important décisions at this moment. For 1 or 2 weeks you must recuperate energy. Rest and do breathing exercices and drink pleinty of BOTTLE water no tap water and eat and some soft exercice, walks in nature most recommended. I advice conciously chewing your food a long time befor sw allowing. Not wanting to see people is also a healthy need, your body does not have enough energy (reason you are tired) and contact with humans visual and other is an energetical exchange your body cannot manage. Avoid contact as your body asks for a Time, take a break. Minimise téléphones computer and Tv etc... Smooth music is good.
After 1 or 2 weeks of satisfying your body you will have récupérted some énergy Guide this énergy to highten your Wave you may fo this by a small fast, and a little more intense exercise such as some gardening or a day in the week at the gym and maybe a tea or coffee time with a friend and slowly réintroducing an exchange of énergies with people and Life. After you should be back in to a good ryhtm😉. Feel free to ask for advice for the fasts or dietary advice to Help.

Guest 09.08.2015 17:16

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by goiye12 (Post 2430659)
Hello, if i may recommend please listen to The signs your body gives do not fight thèm, rather satisfy them:). Rest if you are tired and eat what you crave (exception for meat and Milk produits those must be contrôles). but qualité foods with no chemicals additives, But just dont déviate from correct moral standards, killing, strealling, adultury etc ... the human body has phases and is not constant like Waves up and down then up Again and so on some Waves higher other slower DO NOT make any Quick important décisions at this moment. For 1 or 2 weeks you must recuperate energy. Rest and do breathing exercices and drink pleinty of BOTTLE water no tap water and eat and some soft exercice, walks in nature most recommended. I advice conciously chewing your food a long time befor sw allowing. Not wanting to see people is also a healthy need, your body does not have enough energy (reason you are tired) and contact with humans visual and other is an energetical exchange your body cannot manage. Avoid contact as your body asks for a Time, take a break. Minimise téléphones computer and Tv etc... Smooth music is good.
After 1 or 2 weeks of satisfying your body you will have récupérted some énergy Guide this énergy to highten your Wave you may fo this by a small fast, and a little more intense exercise such as some gardening or a day in the week at the gym and maybe a tea or coffee time with a friend and slowly réintroducing an exchange of énergies with people and Life. After you should be back in to a good ryhtm😉. Feel free to ask for advice for the fasts or dietary advice to Help.

What in the world are you on about???

Longbyt 09.08.2015 17:22

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
@glowjupiter - perhaps your mother tongue isn't English? Goiye12 says his is.

P.S. Mine is too but I cannot understand a word of his post either.

Guest 09.08.2015 17:49

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Longbyt (Post 2430665)
@glowjupiter - perhaps your mother tongue isn't English? Goiye12 says his is.

P.S. Mine is too but I cannot understand a word of his post either.

Perhaps he'll summarize it in one sentence for us, in one of the four Swiss languages or in English - let's see. :)
My comment is more along the lines of "where on earth is the positive/helpful aspect in his text which could help the OP?" I don't see it and the text looks very weird.

If I were OP, I would - as opposed to goiye12's post - eat a large steak dripping in bbq sauce with tap water and a huge salad with a nice dessert (perhaps some scoops of her favorite ice cream?:msntongue:) - this is not medical advice, but rather than restricting stuff I'm sure that allowing oneself things is more helpful to regain a positive outlook on life etc.
Bottled water is much less intensely tested than tap water, and it costs much more - not to mention that OP won't have to lug bottles of it around if she drinks water from the tap ;)

Belgianmum 09.08.2015 17:54

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Longbyt (Post 2430665)
@glowjupiter - perhaps your mother tongue isn't English? Goiye12 says his is.

P.S. Mine is too but I cannot understand a word of his post either.

It doesn't help that s/he clearly has a French keyboard and randomly inserts accents all over the place.

To sum it up in one sentence I think the message is:

Listen to your body

But then I could be completely wrong.

goiye12 09.08.2015 19:03

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Yes to all i meant to say to hear the body, the meat and milk i just meant yes do eat but with a bit of a limit thèse 2 products tend to really slow down métabolism and diggestion😊 and for the spelling mistakes apologies its a mix of iPhone keyboard language and auto spell settings problem and lots of dislexia😊.

AliceInWinterland 10.08.2015 00:14

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Well-intentioned though we might be on EF, you should seek some professional advice.

If you can't find a Japanese-speaking doctor near enough to you, you may be able to find one elsewhere (e.g. in Japan) who will do telephone or web-based support, or a Japanese organisation that offers the same kind of web-based support as this highly respected Australian one:
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-su...ediate-support

NKJune 12.08.2015 23:24

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Dear all,
Thank you for your message.
I have tried to ask a doctor to consult/counseling with my husband in 2013 in Japan. In Japan, this is not common, so it is hard to find the appropriate and compatible doctor. We couldn't find a doctor after all.


Actually, yesterday I went into hysterics when I was with my family at home. I couldn't stop screaming. I myself felt scary.
But it was not bad because I could say to him what I wanted to say. It means "Angry". It was just like this and that in my brain rushed out and earnestiy did roundhouse kick my husband.
He said nothing. But, now I'm feeling some changing.
I'm not sure that it is a temporary or not, good sign or not.


We just diceded to come return to Japan for a while in the winter holiday in 4 months.
I will research and make an appointment with a doctor if we are still in same caos.
I think the best is to see a doctor now, but now, the situation cannot ask him to start a action.

Sometimes I miss the reason I'm angry.
Am I angry with his behavior for itself? Or, I don't want to feel his unconcern/scorn hidden behind his behavior?
It's like paradox. I'm thinking we should to improve our relationship, but at the same time, I also want to give up about everything.

Anyway, I need relax and time to spare to think about MYSELF.

Guest 12.08.2015 23:35

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by NKJune (Post 2432510)
Dear all,
Thank you for your message.
I have tried to ask a doctor to consult/counseling with my husband in 2013 in Japan. In Japan, this is not common, so it is hard to find the appropriate and compatible doctor. We couldn't find a doctor after all.


Actually, yesterday I went into hysterics when I was with my family at home. I couldn't stop screaming. I myself felt scary.
But it was not bad because I could say to him what I wanted to say. It means "Angry". It was just like this and that in my brain rushed out and earnestiy did roundhouse kick my husband.
He said nothing. But, now I'm feeling some changing.
I'm not sure that it is a temporary or not, good sign or not.

We just diceded to come return to Japan for a while in the winter holiday in 4 months.
I will research and make an appointment with a doctor if we are still in same caos.

I think the best is to see a doctor now, but now, the situation cannot ask him to start a action.

Sometimes I miss the reason I'm angry.
Am I angry with his behavior for itself? Or, I don't want to feel his unconcern/scorn hidden behind his behavior?
It's like paradox. I'm thinking we should to improve our relationship, but at the same time, I also want to give up about everything.

Anyway, I need relax and time to spare to think about MYSELF.

Why not now? It's still four months until December and you don't have to ask your husband to contribute at present, you can go to the doc and get help for yourself at first.
EFers have provided you with numerous details of docs and therapists you could possibly contact in CH - why not take us up on the offer? You can always leave/quit treatment if it's not for you, but if you don't try, you might be stuck in a rut for the next four months.

AliceInWinterland 12.08.2015 23:37

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Many people find it hard to understand and address the true reason for anger or other bad feelings without an expert (a doctor) helping, because the feelings can prevent you thinking clearly about it.

Four months can be a long time. Why not try to talk to a doctor while you are here, now, even if the process is interrupted by your winter break? It seems worth trying something that can help.

May I ask how old are your children?

englishspeaker 13.08.2015 02:20

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by NKJune (Post 2425086)
Hi, I'm from Japan and living a small municipality in Switzerlad with my husband and 2 little kids. I'm not an employee.


I have gradually gotten used the daily life, but, it is not that I like here.
Recently I don't want to anything.
My friends ask me to go to eat, but I want stay at home alone.
My dauther's classmate's moms invite us to thier house, but I want to refuse their asking.
I don't want to see someone who I know when I'm outside.


About my daily life, I can manage it without problem for now.
However, it seems that I intentionally to avoid involving with others.
When I meet someone who I know accidentally, I can behave socially. I think it is like acting.


I never know the reason why I lost my sociality.
Do you think that I have any mental problem?
Should I go to see a doctor?

Hi, thank you for your post and your honesty. Have you tried Hypnotherapy? This works very well for depression and fears. It worked well and quickly for me and your are describing everything I was feeling. There is a way out of feeling this way. Best wishes, Englishspeaker

KrystelCaparas 13.08.2015 02:51

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
I don't think you need to see a doctor. Nothing is wrong with you. When I first moved to the Philippines from the US, I made a lot of friends and even studied in a University there. Over time however, everything you listed pretty much became my feelings. I started to become an introvert and would rather not see people simply cause I just preferred to be alone. I didn't want to grow any attachment to people. I don't know how much it will help, but I can tell you my experience and reasons for going through that.

I moved to a place completely different and I had a lot of expectations about living there. Over time, I just felt "jaded" and eventually depressed.. maybe it's because I don't like to stay in one place for too long. If I get bored or irritated of places, jobs, people, I venture off looking for something new. I know in your situation, that would be unrealistic to just pick up and leave. But I really encourage you to start small and work your way up. I'm somewhat socially awkward if I don't have the right connection with people, which is very rare. Try to build up confidence in yourself by reading self development books or even try jogging. Something to clear your mind first thing in the morning by giving yourself time to think and fill your head with good positive things. Immerse yourself with the Swiss culture, get to know local bake shops, buy flowers in the afternoon, try to learn some german with locals..

Whether you do these things alone or with a friend, your husband, kids, don't look at these as tasks, but as a learning experience and something for yourself. I'm not sure whether it is because you're depressed, home sick, or whatever (I'm always home sick, that feeling never gets old) but try your best to accept the things you cannot change and work on the things you can. Living in another country that is not your own is hard--I'll be leaving Philippines now to move to Winterthur. I definitely understand the extreme changes. Anyways, hope this helps good luck in your journey :)

Ciao!

Guest 20.08.2015 22:15

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Sorry you're going through this, NKJune. It sounds like there are lots of things going on (perhaps there is even more you haven't mentioned here). Naturally, you're overwhelmed and struggle to cope. On top of that you're in a foreign country with little support system. Have you joined an online support group or mental health forum? Not sure about Japanese forums, but a google search resulted in this site: http://forums.psychcentral.com/. Maybe you can give it a try there, connect with others and try to at least break the cycle of isolation online first. Others have mentioned writing in a diary. I think it can be helpful, but it makes more sense if it's overseen by a therapist (but that's just my opinion). Take care of yourself, I hope things begin to look up very soon!

cannut 20.08.2015 22:46

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Helen is that you ? :msngrin: ( My wives name is Helen ):)

Tantra-Vanessa 21.08.2015 10:26

Re: I don't want to do anything.
 
Yes, it sounds like you are in a depression. Find a counsellor/psychologist who speaks your language or english so you feel more at ease while talking. Dont stay alone with your problem. Perhaps www.centrepoint.ch (english community in Basel or is it swiss wide?) have addresses. If you are in Basel sometime and fancy a coffee and a chat, let me know. I have 2 sons and had a bit a similar problem when they were small.


All the best, Vanessa


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