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Old 27.07.2015, 23:18
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I don't want to do anything.

Hi, I'm from Japan and living a small municipality in Switzerlad with my husband and 2 little kids. I'm not an employee.


I have gradually gotten used the daily life, but, it is not that I like here.
Recently I don't want to anything.
My friends ask me to go to eat, but I want stay at home alone.
My dauther's classmate's moms invite us to thier house, but I want to refuse their asking.
I don't want to see someone who I know when I'm outside.


About my daily life, I can manage it without problem for now.
However, it seems that I intentionally to avoid involving with others.
When I meet someone who I know accidentally, I can behave socially. I think it is like acting.


I never know the reason why I lost my sociality.
Do you think that I have any mental problem?
Should I go to see a doctor?
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Old 27.07.2015, 23:33
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

If you think you should see your dr you should see your dr.
Sounds to me like apathy, which is a sign of depression, very treatable.
But might be viral... Epstein Barr. Or nutritional.
See a doctor and be honest with them.
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Old 28.07.2015, 11:34
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

Maybe it's just a bout of expat blues, maybe you are getting depressed. If you are not feeling happy, and you feel like seeing a doctor, you should definitely do it.

We all have darker moments but there should be lots of sunshine in between. All the best and hope you feel that sunshine again soon!
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Old 28.07.2015, 12:02
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

Welcome to my world.
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Old 08.08.2015, 00:39
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

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Welcome to my world.
Aww Phil buddy I would never have guessed
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Old 08.08.2015, 09:11
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

The diary is a good first step.
Use doctor. ch to search for doctors they list languages .
If you are considering a therapist, try and find a male therapist, not being sexist just that if your husband attends with you at some stage he will feel less threatened if he is not that open. Also a male can explain things to a male in terms which are more acceptable, been there myself.

Lastly, any lasting change requires a first step this is not easy. One way is to act 'as if ' so you can practice being outgoing even if you are not feeling it inside, like fitness it doesn't come with one trip to the gym, it happens as a byproduct of repeated actions.
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Old 28.07.2015, 12:17
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

If your feelings are worrying you, go and see your doctor.

You might find it helpful to write a list of how you are feeling before you go, as going to talk to your doctor about something like this can be very overwhelming and you may find that you get there and struggle to talk.

Your doctor may refer you to a psychiatrist. This does not mean that you are 'mad' and is not something to be ashamed of. It's just that here most mental health problems are treated by a psychiatrist (or a psychologist working under a psychiatrist). Your doctor may or may not feel capable of treating you.

I hope you find the help you need. Please don't wait... your health is the most important thing you have and some problems need treating as soon as possible.
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Old 28.07.2015, 20:47
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

You really need to confide in your husband about your feelings and maybe he can come with you to visit the Drs.
From your profile you seem to have not been that long in Switzerland and maybe now reality has set in you might be feeling depressed if your previous life entailed a career and you feel a bit lost.
Do you have a close friend who you could confide your feelings to, if you have not discussed this with family.
Feelings like this are very common and i have known many people who have moved from familiar surroundings to another country.
Seek help and let us know how you get on.
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Old 31.07.2015, 13:53
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

As well as the other suggestions that have been made, you might like to check out "journal therapy". It may sound improbable, but writing a diary of your feelings is often very helpful in defining a problem and even moving towards solving it. It costs nothing and is often very effective.

You already had the good idea of sharing your problem on englishforum. Don't hesitate to come back whenever you feel the need to express yourself.
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Old 05.08.2015, 21:56
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

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Do you think that I have any mental problem?
Should I go to see a doctor?
Sounds completely normal for a Japanese person forced to interact with those dishonourable Gaijin. Don't worry, you're fine.
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Old 08.08.2015, 13:54
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

It sounds like you may have an avoidant personality disorder. Here's a link to an article you may want to read.

$http://psychcentral.com/disorders/av...rder-symptoms/

I hope you are able to treat it sooner than later. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to overcome it.
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Old 08.08.2015, 14:47
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

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It sounds like you may have an avoidant personality disorder. Here's a link to an article you may want to read.

$http://psychcentral.com/disorders/av...rder-symptoms/

I hope you are able to treat it sooner than later. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to overcome it.
I think you really should abstain from attempting to diagnose someone over the internet. That's a medical doctor's job, and only the job of one who has personally seen and examined OP at that. Please don't start this here. Thank you.

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In any case, when you start looking for a therapist, it is a good idea to ask him or her about the costs. Sometimes, these are paid for by the medical insurance. But sometimes you will have to pay a part (or even all) of the fees yourself. It is best to understand how it works from the start.
doropfiz, it's the provider's job to tell the patient about the costs, not the patient's job to ask.
The patient then should ask if the payment is done tiers garant or tiers payant (does patient pay the bill sent by the provider to the patient to the insurance company and they refund, or does patient pay the bill to the insurance company after the company has paid the provider and billed the patient?
But you're right, it's good to know which amount they charge anyway.

Last edited by glowjupiter; 08.08.2015 at 14:57.
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Old 08.08.2015, 15:14
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

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doropfiz, it's the provider's job to tell the patient about the costs, not the patient's job to ask.
.


Yes, glowjupiter, in the best of worlds that is certainly the case. It is, indeed, the provider's responsibility. But not all do so correctly.

I point it out to people who are considering therapy for the very first time because I've repeatedly seen that it can feel like a jungle trying to understand the differences (as far as the treatments is concerned, and as far as the costs are concerned) between a registered medical doctor, a psychiatrist, a psychotherapist, a registered psychologist, a coach or a life counsellor, and that the medical insurance companies in Switzerland are not consistent in the way they do or don't cover the costs. Therefore, it is worth asking both the provider AND one's own medical insurance company about that specific provider.
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Old 08.08.2015, 14:58
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

I can only add my voice to the others - that you do something about this difficult set of feelings you have. A doctor may well be able to put a finger on what triggered it off and how best to find a way out of a black downward spiral.
Although everyone's situtation is different, there are enough folk on here who have, at some point, needed help from outside to enable them to 'see the sunshine' again.

After a year in Switzerland, the first feelings of - there are problems in a new country but I will solve them in time - begin to diminish and we realise that we may be stuck with some of them. Some barriers are overcome, but new hurdles replace them. Language skills improve but the 'mentality divide' still remains. Bringing up children in a strange environment is a real challenge. Sometimes parents (particularly those of different backgrounds) have completely different ideas about bringing up children (things they never thought of as being an issue until the children were born). Sometimes husbands feel neglected or shut out when small children are involved.

I'm NOT suggesting that any of these things are a problem in your case. They are simply ideas which poured into my fingers when I was thinking back to my own first years here. And I could speak German, I looked European and had no children to tire me out!

I wish you all the best. Come on here when you need to. The folk on this Thread will most likely be those with their own rucksack load of problems, in the past at least, and will understand the benefit of a listening ear (or a reading eye).
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Old 09.08.2015, 17:07
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

Hello, if i may recommend please listen to The signs your body gives do not fight thèm, rather satisfy them. Rest if you are tired and eat what you crave (exception for meat and Milk produits those must be contrôles). but qualité foods with no chemicals additives, But just dont déviate from correct moral standards, killing, strealling, adultury etc ... the human body has phases and is not constant like Waves up and down then up Again and so on some Waves higher other slower DO NOT make any Quick important décisions at this moment. For 1 or 2 weeks you must recuperate energy. Rest and do breathing exercices and drink pleinty of BOTTLE water no tap water and eat and some soft exercice, walks in nature most recommended. I advice conciously chewing your food a long time befor sw allowing. Not wanting to see people is also a healthy need, your body does not have enough energy (reason you are tired) and contact with humans visual and other is an energetical exchange your body cannot manage. Avoid contact as your body asks for a Time, take a break. Minimise téléphones computer and Tv etc... Smooth music is good.
After 1 or 2 weeks of satisfying your body you will have récupérted some énergy Guide this énergy to highten your Wave you may fo this by a small fast, and a little more intense exercise such as some gardening or a day in the week at the gym and maybe a tea or coffee time with a friend and slowly réintroducing an exchange of énergies with people and Life. After you should be back in to a good ryhtm😉. Feel free to ask for advice for the fasts or dietary advice to Help.
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Old 09.08.2015, 17:16
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

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Hello, if i may recommend please listen to The signs your body gives do not fight thèm, rather satisfy them. Rest if you are tired and eat what you crave (exception for meat and Milk produits those must be contrôles). but qualité foods with no chemicals additives, But just dont déviate from correct moral standards, killing, strealling, adultury etc ... the human body has phases and is not constant like Waves up and down then up Again and so on some Waves higher other slower DO NOT make any Quick important décisions at this moment. For 1 or 2 weeks you must recuperate energy. Rest and do breathing exercices and drink pleinty of BOTTLE water no tap water and eat and some soft exercice, walks in nature most recommended. I advice conciously chewing your food a long time befor sw allowing. Not wanting to see people is also a healthy need, your body does not have enough energy (reason you are tired) and contact with humans visual and other is an energetical exchange your body cannot manage. Avoid contact as your body asks for a Time, take a break. Minimise téléphones computer and Tv etc... Smooth music is good.
After 1 or 2 weeks of satisfying your body you will have récupérted some énergy Guide this énergy to highten your Wave you may fo this by a small fast, and a little more intense exercise such as some gardening or a day in the week at the gym and maybe a tea or coffee time with a friend and slowly réintroducing an exchange of énergies with people and Life. After you should be back in to a good ryhtm😉. Feel free to ask for advice for the fasts or dietary advice to Help.
What in the world are you on about???
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Old 09.08.2015, 17:22
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

@glowjupiter - perhaps your mother tongue isn't English? Goiye12 says his is.

P.S. Mine is too but I cannot understand a word of his post either.
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Old 09.08.2015, 17:49
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

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@glowjupiter - perhaps your mother tongue isn't English? Goiye12 says his is.

P.S. Mine is too but I cannot understand a word of his post either.
Perhaps he'll summarize it in one sentence for us, in one of the four Swiss languages or in English - let's see.
My comment is more along the lines of "where on earth is the positive/helpful aspect in his text which could help the OP?" I don't see it and the text looks very weird.

If I were OP, I would - as opposed to goiye12's post - eat a large steak dripping in bbq sauce with tap water and a huge salad with a nice dessert (perhaps some scoops of her favorite ice cream?) - this is not medical advice, but rather than restricting stuff I'm sure that allowing oneself things is more helpful to regain a positive outlook on life etc.
Bottled water is much less intensely tested than tap water, and it costs much more - not to mention that OP won't have to lug bottles of it around if she drinks water from the tap
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Old 09.08.2015, 17:54
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

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@glowjupiter - perhaps your mother tongue isn't English? Goiye12 says his is.

P.S. Mine is too but I cannot understand a word of his post either.
It doesn't help that s/he clearly has a French keyboard and randomly inserts accents all over the place.

To sum it up in one sentence I think the message is:

Listen to your body

But then I could be completely wrong.
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Old 10.08.2015, 00:14
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Re: I don't want to do anything.

Well-intentioned though we might be on EF, you should seek some professional advice.

If you can't find a Japanese-speaking doctor near enough to you, you may be able to find one elsewhere (e.g. in Japan) who will do telephone or web-based support, or a Japanese organisation that offers the same kind of web-based support as this highly respected Australian one:
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-su...ediate-support

Last edited by AliceInWinterland; 10.08.2015 at 00:15. Reason: typo
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