Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Help & tips > Family matters/health  
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #21  
Old 12.01.2016, 13:15
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: CH
Posts: 8,144
Groaned at 265 Times in 215 Posts
Thanked 10,440 Times in 5,578 Posts
greenmount has a reputation beyond reputegreenmount has a reputation beyond reputegreenmount has a reputation beyond reputegreenmount has a reputation beyond reputegreenmount has a reputation beyond reputegreenmount has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife

Quote:
View Post
Why do so many people care about cheating spouses? Don't you know how much more interesting your marriage can be if you're both sleeping with other people?
Why bother marrying someone then?
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank greenmount for this useful post:
  #22  
Old 12.01.2016, 13:16
VFR on top's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Used to be Basel.
Posts: 977
Groaned at 29 Times in 20 Posts
Thanked 2,136 Times in 802 Posts
VFR on top has a reputation beyond reputeVFR on top has a reputation beyond reputeVFR on top has a reputation beyond reputeVFR on top has a reputation beyond reputeVFR on top has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife

Quote:
View Post
What, incidentally, is her screen name on the English Forum ?
post # 18

Crazy, huh?
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank VFR on top for this useful post:
  #23  
Old 12.01.2016, 13:16
adrianlondon's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Basel
Posts: 9,212
Groaned at 171 Times in 154 Posts
Thanked 25,643 Times in 6,892 Posts
adrianlondon has a reputation beyond reputeadrianlondon has a reputation beyond reputeadrianlondon has a reputation beyond reputeadrianlondon has a reputation beyond reputeadrianlondon has a reputation beyond reputeadrianlondon has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife

Quote:
View Post
Indeed. There's nothing better than a good dose of the clap for spicing up a marriage.
Is that what happens when you sleep with people you're not married to?

Quote:
View Post
Why bother marrying someone then?
for the 3-somes?
Reply With Quote
The following 10 users would like to thank adrianlondon for this useful post:
  #24  
Old 12.01.2016, 13:19
dodgyken's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Democratic Republic Kenistan
Posts: 10,779
Groaned at 283 Times in 233 Posts
Thanked 19,403 Times in 7,402 Posts
dodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond reputedodgyken has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife

Quote:
3-somes?
I got really excited when the ex- said she was Bi.

Turns out she meant polar

Last edited by dodgyken; 12.01.2016 at 14:58.
Reply With Quote
The following 22 users would like to thank dodgyken for this useful post:
This user groans at dodgyken for this post:
  #25  
Old 12.01.2016, 13:25
BLP's Avatar
BLP BLP is offline
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Vaud
Posts: 1,064
Groaned at 34 Times in 27 Posts
Thanked 552 Times in 348 Posts
BLP has a reputation beyond reputeBLP has a reputation beyond reputeBLP has a reputation beyond reputeBLP has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife

Quote:
View Post
Ideally yes, but it isn't always that easy. Banking secrecy and stuff.
all my recent papers for my new account says there is no secrecy and waived it when getting the account, not sure what that all means but it seemed a bit


to the OP, I'm confused, if your wife isn't working and agreed to not want money, how will she live? How will she back to her home country?

As a woman I just dont get this. I can see she may not be trying to dig for gold and all (not sure how much of that you have hiding anyway) but if you have supported her and all of a sudden you will not, she isn't worried? Wouldn't she want at least the min 50% etc?
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 12.01.2016, 13:27
BLP's Avatar
BLP BLP is offline
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Vaud
Posts: 1,064
Groaned at 34 Times in 27 Posts
Thanked 552 Times in 348 Posts
BLP has a reputation beyond reputeBLP has a reputation beyond reputeBLP has a reputation beyond reputeBLP has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife

Quote:
View Post
Indeed. There's nothing better than a good dose of the clap for spicing up a marriage.


OMG you're bad
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 12.01.2016, 13:32
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Zurich
Posts: 11,718
Groaned at 677 Times in 494 Posts
Thanked 15,681 Times in 6,146 Posts
Chuff has a reputation beyond reputeChuff has a reputation beyond reputeChuff has a reputation beyond reputeChuff has a reputation beyond reputeChuff has a reputation beyond reputeChuff has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife

Quote:
View Post
Ideally yes, but it isn't always that easy. Banking secrecy and stuff.
I'm not sure banking secrecy would apply in this situation involving a married couple, as I guess assets would have to be clearly scrutinised as part of the legal divorce process?
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank Chuff for this useful post:
  #28  
Old 12.01.2016, 13:40
crazykittylady's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Glatt
Posts: 767
Groaned at 117 Times in 68 Posts
Thanked 687 Times in 341 Posts
crazykittylady has a reputation beyond reputecrazykittylady has a reputation beyond reputecrazykittylady has a reputation beyond reputecrazykittylady has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife

Quote:
View Post
Is that what happens when you sleep with people you're not married to?
Yes, STDs have free reign over unmarried sex. Once couples are married to each other, the STDs are frightened away due to god's blessings.

DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND MARRIAGE?
Reply With Quote
The following 8 users would like to thank crazykittylady for this useful post:
  #29  
Old 12.01.2016, 13:45
fatmanfilms's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Verbier
Posts: 18,037
Groaned at 288 Times in 237 Posts
Thanked 15,575 Times in 8,662 Posts
fatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife

Quote:
View Post
I'm not sure banking secrecy would apply in this situation involving a married couple, as I guess assets would have to be clearly scrutinised as part of the legal divorce process?
The Bank won't even confirm the existence of an account, as that would be a criminal offence for the banker involved. Unless there is a criminal investigation or a foreign tax authority then your secrets are quite safe.
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank fatmanfilms for this useful post:
  #30  
Old 12.01.2016, 13:47
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Neuchatel
Posts: 22,886
Groaned at 544 Times in 416 Posts
Thanked 25,409 Times in 11,654 Posts
Odile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife

How do you know they do not have a joint account? Most married people I know, do. Could the solicitor in any case request for him to disclose assets- and would there be no consequences if he refuses (just asking).
Reply With Quote
  #31  
Old 12.01.2016, 13:49
fatmanfilms's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Verbier
Posts: 18,037
Groaned at 288 Times in 237 Posts
Thanked 15,575 Times in 8,662 Posts
fatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife

Quote:
View Post
How do you know they do not have a joint account?
I don't, the silly things people do with money never ceases to amaze me.
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank fatmanfilms for this useful post:
  #32  
Old 12.01.2016, 14:54
st2lemans's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Lugano
Posts: 27,083
Groaned at 1,708 Times in 1,304 Posts
Thanked 31,428 Times in 15,031 Posts
st2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife

Quote:
View Post
I don't
Nor do we (except for the mortgage account), but I do have access to several of my wife's accounts.

Tom
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank st2lemans for this useful post:
  #33  
Old 12.01.2016, 14:55
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Neuchatel
Posts: 22,886
Groaned at 544 Times in 416 Posts
Thanked 25,409 Times in 11,654 Posts
Odile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife

Quote:
View Post
I don't, the silly things people do with money never ceases to amaze me.
Well, you are not married though

We married young, when I was unable to work (accident) and then a mother raising young kids. We've always owned everything we have/had jointly- and for us, this was the only way to go- till death us do part... and still is, 45 years later soon. But I agree it is nor for everybody, each to their own But looking around us, both in the UK and CH, this seems to be the norm, even for much younger people.
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank Odile for this useful post:
  #34  
Old 12.01.2016, 15:07
fatmanfilms's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Verbier
Posts: 18,037
Groaned at 288 Times in 237 Posts
Thanked 15,575 Times in 8,662 Posts
fatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife

Quote:
View Post
Well, you are not married though

We married young, when I was unable to work (accident) and then a mother raising young kids. We've always owned everything we have/had jointly- and for us, this was the only way to go- till death us do part... and still is, 45 years later soon. But I agree it is nor for everybody, each to their own But looking around us, both in the UK and CH, this seems to be the norm, even for much younger people.
I find it odd you would want you husband to know how much you paid for his birthday present & what you spent on a dress! No reason he could not have paid money into a separate account
Reply With Quote
  #35  
Old 12.01.2016, 15:14
The_Love_Doctor's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Zugerberg, Zug
Posts: 3,223
Groaned at 71 Times in 55 Posts
Thanked 3,603 Times in 1,701 Posts
The_Love_Doctor has a reputation beyond reputeThe_Love_Doctor has a reputation beyond reputeThe_Love_Doctor has a reputation beyond reputeThe_Love_Doctor has a reputation beyond reputeThe_Love_Doctor has a reputation beyond reputeThe_Love_Doctor has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife

Quote:
View Post
I find it odd you would want you husband to know how much you paid for his birthday present & what you spent on a dress! No reason he could not have paid money into a separate account
He wouldn't know if she pays for it in cash

Just like she wouldn't know when he pays cash for extra marital expeditions
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank The_Love_Doctor for this useful post:
  #36  
Old 12.01.2016, 15:26
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Neuchatel
Posts: 22,886
Groaned at 544 Times in 416 Posts
Thanked 25,409 Times in 11,654 Posts
Odile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife

Quote:
View Post
I find it odd you would want you husband to know how much you paid for his birthday present & what you spent on a dress! No reason he could not have paid money into a separate account
Ah that is why I never wear dresses This 'paying money into a separate account' was how it was for many of my older UK friends and neighbours- the wives were given housekeeping money - usually in cash every weekThey then had to go and ask, (beg!) if they needed more for something exra, like a pair of shoes for the kids, etc. My neighbour would go and buy Marks and Spencer's seconds at the Corah shop or the market- so she could make a few bob to keep herself so he wouldn't know! And he did the food shopping every week- and she had to cook with whatever he bought. Saturday was sausages for her and the kids, and a nice juicy steak for him. Oh yeah. NO WAY JOSE... the horror of it, never! Even my own mother in Switzerland never put up with that kind of servitude!!! (born in 1915).

When I started earning my own money (12 years into our mariage- accident and recovery, kids and then Bachelor of Ed) I did finally have my own account- and yes it felt great- but he had access to it, should he have wanted to, which he didn't- and it was very enjoyable. We've never ever made significant purchases without discussing those together as a couple- it's called TRUST. There is definitely something to be said for this, imho. But each to their own indeed
Reply With Quote
The following 7 users would like to thank Odile for this useful post:
  #37  
Old 12.01.2016, 15:32
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: CH
Posts: 8,144
Groaned at 265 Times in 215 Posts
Thanked 10,440 Times in 5,578 Posts
greenmount has a reputation beyond reputegreenmount has a reputation beyond reputegreenmount has a reputation beyond reputegreenmount has a reputation beyond reputegreenmount has a reputation beyond reputegreenmount has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife

Quote:
View Post
We've never ever made significant purchases without discussing those together as a couple- it's called TRUST. There is definitely something to be said for this, imho. But each to their own indeed
Thought all couples do that.
Reply With Quote
  #38  
Old 12.01.2016, 15:37
fatmanfilms's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Verbier
Posts: 18,037
Groaned at 288 Times in 237 Posts
Thanked 15,575 Times in 8,662 Posts
fatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond reputefatmanfilms has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife

Quote:
View Post
Ah that is why I never wear dresses This 'paying money into a separate account' was how it was for many of my older UK friends and neighbours- the wives were given housekeeping money - usually in cash every weekThey then had to go and ask, (beg!) if they needed more for something exra, like a pair of shoes for the kids, etc. My neighbour would go and buy Marks and Spencer's seconds at the Corah shop or the market- so she could make a few bob to keep herself so he wouldn't know! And he did the food shopping every week- and she had to cook with whatever he bought. Saturday was sausages for her and the kids, and a nice juicy steak for him. Oh yeah. NO WAY JOSE... the horror of it, never! Even my own mother in Switzerland never put up with that kind of servitude!!! (born in 1915).

When I started earning my own money, I did have my own account- and yes it felt great- but he had access to it, should he have wanted to, which he didn't- and it was very enjoyable. We've never ever made significant purchases without discussing those together as a couple- it's called TRUST. There is definitely something to be said for this, imho. But each to their own indeed
I know someone who thought she paid 500,000 cash for a house in the UK, she put the money in their joint account & the husband took care of things. The husband took out a mortgage for 475,000. The wife only discovered this when the bailiffs came to repossess the house 18 months later, The husband had of course run off with all her money.
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank fatmanfilms for this useful post:
  #39  
Old 12.01.2016, 15:41
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Neuchatel
Posts: 22,886
Groaned at 544 Times in 416 Posts
Thanked 25,409 Times in 11,654 Posts
Odile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond reputeOdile has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife

As said, TRUST - and trust your instinct on who to trust. I trust HIM totally, and so does he me. After 46 years together, 45 married- hopefully we know.

But we digress- back to OP please (think of us on 29th of May - we will be celebrating 180 years! 70 + 65 + 45).
Reply With Quote
The following 5 users would like to thank Odile for this useful post:
  #40  
Old 12.01.2016, 15:51
amogles's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Zurich
Posts: 10,857
Groaned at 215 Times in 182 Posts
Thanked 20,885 Times in 8,898 Posts
amogles has a reputation beyond reputeamogles has a reputation beyond reputeamogles has a reputation beyond reputeamogles has a reputation beyond reputeamogles has a reputation beyond reputeamogles has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife

Quote:
View Post
As said, TRUST - and trust your instinct on who to trust. I trust HIM totally, and so does he me. After 46 years together, 45 married- hopefully we know.
But the statistics of divorce rates show that it doesn't work for everybody.

My dear late mother used to run the household on a shoestring and had a bad conscience when she'd bought something nice for herself, fearing she had spent joint money and fighting with herself over whether or not that was justified. My dad had less trouble and pursued various eclectic hobbies, not terribly expensive ones but the money did add up over time.

I felt they would have been better served with a personal account each for their personal stuff (topped up be the same amount every month so its all fair) so they could spend or save as they saw fit, and a joint account for food, bills etc from which buying personal stuff is a strict no. I think both would have been more at ease and many a fight avoided.
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank amogles for this useful post:
Reply

Tags
alimony, cheating, divorced man




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
wife has C permit i have a B permit she wants a divorce runningbear Complaints corner 57 22.03.2012 12:17
The wife of a refugee will loose her permit after divorce... annas Permits/visas/government 3 18.10.2011 14:30
Husband wants to divorce foreign wife married for a year belia Family matters/health 30 01.11.2010 09:49
Divorce question - ex wife demanding 6,000 CHF per month! Trezzy Family matters/health 72 13.09.2010 12:09


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 15:23.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0