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-   -   Divorce question : Cheating wife (https://www.englishforum.ch/family-matters-health/246683-divorce-question-cheating-wife.html)

CrazyGuy 11.01.2016 15:04

Divorce question : Cheating wife
 
Hello All,

This is my first question to this forum though I am passively active on this site.

My wife has recently admitted that she has cheated me on my back when I was on business trip for last one year. We were married for 2 nearly years now and both of us are Non-EU (i am on Permit C and she has permit B) and we have no child.

Now the simplest solution is to get divorce but as she has on cheated me, I even dont want pay a single penny from my pocket to her (No alimony). She has agreed that we can have "friendly divorce" and she is ready for it. Now my problem comes here as she has no job in Switzerland and I earn more than 110 K CHF/year, I am afraid that judge my force me to give her a part of income which I dont agree and dont want.

As I told she does not want money from me , can anyone tell me if I will be forced to pay her anything or not? Please help.

Thanks in advance,
Kim

dodgyken 11.01.2016 15:16

Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife
 
If you have been married under 5 years there is a high likelihood that she be classified as not being financially dependent on you - and may not get alimony.

HOWEVER it is best you discuss this with a lawyer as you're unlikely to get a proper answer on EF without providing more details than you would really want to share on an internet forum.

Mullhollander 11.01.2016 15:19

Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife
 
Swiss Authorities Online (ch.ch) offers an overview of divorce in Switzerland in English:

"Maintenance of ex-spouse After a divorce your ex- husband or wife is normally expected to support him or herself.

Criteria for maintenance contributions

Depending on how long you were married and the division of duties in the marriage, your age, health, level of education, career prospects and financial situation, you may have to continue to support your ex-partner financially, at least for a certain period.
If one of the ex-partners has day-to-day care of the children, the other will also have to pay maintenance to compensate their loss of income.

Calculation of maintenance contributions

The court decides on the size of the maintenance contributions based on:
  • The income of the two individuals: how much each person earns (if the income of the person owing maintenance is over the minimum subsistence level),
  • Financial needs: rent, health insurance, taxes, etc.
An agreement is drawn up by the ex-spouses or the court, which is then examined and approved by the court."

https://www.ch.ch/en/divorce-and-mai...contributions/

Also see this ch.ch page:

https://www.ch.ch/en/matrimonial-regime/

Medea Fleecestealer 11.01.2016 15:32

Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife
 
Is she ready for it? Does she realise that divorce will mean she may be unable to stay in Switzerland once she's no longer married to you? If she's not working she'll have no income to be able to make a case to stay on her own. Nor will she be able to get a job unless an employer is willing to go through the non-EU hiring procedure to get her a new permit.

https://www.ch.ch/en/right-to-reside...th-or-divorce/

Sbrinz 12.01.2016 09:41

Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife
 
Switzerland has no-fault divorce laws, so if she did stray when you were away it has nothing relevant with the divorce. Why not kiss, make up, and be friends again?

st2lemans 12.01.2016 10:00

Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Medea Fleecestealer (Post 2515385)
Is she ready for it? Does she realise that divorce will mean she may be unable to stay in Switzerland once she's no longer married to you?

Why do you presume that she has a dependent permit? :confused:

Tom

CrazyGuy 12.01.2016 10:01

Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife
 
Hello All,

Thanks for your responses. I think she wants to go back to her native country.

I wanted to patch-up with her but looks like the strong emotional connection has left no place for any compromise.

So from your responses, can I concluded that there is high chance that I dont have to pay any alimony? could you please put some light on this part...Thanks.

Guest 12.01.2016 10:16

Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife
 
Yes, I think as she earns her own money and agrees- there should be no problem. But you still should go and see a solicitor and make sure.

Is she has B permit and a job, again, she should not lose her permit.

If you Google Avocat divorce Neuchâtel
you'll find lots of info and names, including at least one who specialises in International Divorce.

Although your wife now agrees- she may at some point, when told that her 'indiscretion' makes no difference, pushed by her solicitor, friends or family- suddenly decide she wants her share at some point.

me.anon 12.01.2016 10:20

Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife
 
What, incidentally, is her screen name on the English Forum ?

Belgianmum 12.01.2016 10:34

Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by CrazyGuy (Post 2515353)
Now my problem comes here as she has no job in Switzerland and I earn more than 110 K CHF/year, I am afraid that judge my force me to give her a part of income which I dont agree and dont want.

As I told she does not want money from me , can anyone tell me if I will be forced to pay her anything or not? Please help.

Thanks in advance,
Kim

Quote:

Yes, I think as she earns her own money and agrees- there should be no problem. But you still should go and see a solicitor and make sure.

Is she has B permit and a job, again, she should not lose her permit.

If you Google Avocat divorce Neuchâtel
you'll find lots of info and names, including at least one who specialises in International Divorce.

Although your wife now agrees- she may at some point, when told that her 'indiscretion' makes no difference, pushed by her solicitor, friends or family- suddenly decide she wants her share at some point.
She doesn't have a job though according to the OP.

dodgyken 12.01.2016 10:38

Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Belgianmum (Post 2515900)
She doesn't have a job though according to the OP.

That will likely be covered prior to the divorce - where for a short period he may find he has to support her.

The OP should also remember that any assets accrued during the marriage are split 50/50 (except for inheritance) - that includes pensions.

The original advice stands - go to a lawyer. You'll not get a 100% accurate answer to your specific situation

amogles 12.01.2016 10:39

Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife
 
As others have said, the advice a lawyer gives you goes above what some random strangers on EF advise you.

But to me it sounds as if you won't have to pay alimony. But do discuss it with a lawyer. It's money well invested and certainly cheaper than finding out afterwards that your assumptions were wrong..

Guest 12.01.2016 11:03

Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Belgianmum (Post 2515900)
She doesn't have a job though according to the OP.

My wrong, scanned and missed the 'no'.

In which case, she may lose her permit- fine if she wants to go back anyhow. However, should she decide to stay, she would then have to be supported by the 'social' - and as you have a good wage, this would not be accepted, and you would have to pay for her. The taxpayers cannot be responsible for the situation and you have the means, so...(as said above, the fact she cheated on you and admits 'fault' is irrelevant in this context).

For all sorts of complicated reasons, Neuchâtel has both the highest rate of divorce and the highest rate of people in need of social help- and the authorities are trying really hard, with all sorts of measures, to remedy this situation. They will not pay social help to a divorcee with an ex husband with a high salary- this is 99% sure.

jsherk 12.01.2016 11:05

Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife
 
Step one: Pull out excess cash from the bank before her solicitor tells her to do the same.

It sounds like an a-hole move, but as the wage earner you'll likely be expected to cover all costs for both parties and if she gets to the money before you, well...bad luck.


Step two: Contact a divorce professional/advocate service

Guest 12.01.2016 11:15

Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife
 
You can be sure that the Solicitor with be checking requesting to see recent movements of money, no? Not sure what the law is in CH to this effect. Won't be able to hide salary though.

st2lemans 12.01.2016 11:38

Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by jsherk (Post 2515923)
Step one: Pull out excess cash from the bank before her solicitor tells her to do the same.

Only necessary if for some reason you have a joint account. ;)

But, if you do, then empty it before the wife does, which is what happened to someone I know. :eek:

Tom

amogles 12.01.2016 12:12

Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife
 
Quote:

You can be sure that the Solicitor with be checking requesting to see recent movements of money, no? Not sure what the law is in CH to this effect. Won't be able to hide salary though.
Ideally yes, but it isn't always that easy. Banking secrecy and stuff.

crazykittylady 12.01.2016 13:10

Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by CrazyGuy (Post 2515353)
Now the simplest solution is to get divorce but as she has on cheated me, I even dont want pay a single penny from my pocket to her (No alimony).

Why do so many people care about cheating spouses? Don't you know how much more interesting your marriage can be if you're both sleeping with other people?

Guest 12.01.2016 13:15

Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by crazykittylady (Post 2516012)
Why do so many people care about cheating spouses? Don't you know how much more interesting your marriage can be if you're both sleeping with other people?

I live near to Glatt, interesting :)

Belgianmum 12.01.2016 13:15

Re: Divorce question : Cheating wife
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by crazykittylady (Post 2516012)
Why do so many people care about cheating spouses? Don't you know how much more interesting your marriage can be if you're both sleeping with other people?

Indeed. There's nothing better than a good dose of the clap for spicing up a marriage.:msnsarcastic:


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