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Old 21.01.2016, 12:50
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I snooped

Yes, I know. There are arguments for and against. And if you do end up finding something, well how to deal with it. Well I just straight up told him.

Here's some Background:

We have known each other for close to 15 years. For many of those years we were best friends. He always wanted more, and I also said no.

A few years ago, things changed. I started to feel more and more for him and I decided to move here. We have been officially together for almost 1.5 years. It's been hard at times, we live in different Kantons, but usually it just fits. Except for lately. That's why I snooped.

Oh who am I kidding - I'm a snooper. I don't read his phone or go out of my way, but if you leave your E-Mail open on a tab that we both use... well I can't help myself.

Anywho. I found out he has an Ashley Madison account. Why anyone wouuld sign up for that after the hack beats me, but that's beside the Point. I did what any irrational creature might do and signed up for an account and contacted him. And he wrote back. Now, this is 2 days after we booked a Weekend getaway which is going to cost a few 1000 CHFs.

As I stated, I approached him. He apologised. He has written e-mails and letters opening up and telling me ist because he didn't feel secure and thought I was going to break up with him.

He want's a second chance. I don't know.

How do you all feel? Could you?
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Old 21.01.2016, 12:57
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Re: I snooped

Welcome to the forum... Nice first post
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Old 21.01.2016, 13:04
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Re: I snooped

Give him a 'second chance'.
But don't be surprised if he takes it.

Stop snooping.
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Old 21.01.2016, 13:13
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Re: I snooped

It must be the same person who starts all these threads...
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Old 21.01.2016, 13:20
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Re: I snooped

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It must be the same person who starts all these threads...
DB? Nah, it's not his style. My bets are on Timow or Dodgyken...
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Old 21.01.2016, 13:22
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Re: I snooped

Keep snooping, who knows what you might find.
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Old 21.01.2016, 13:51
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Re: I snooped

You don't have close friends/family who know you and/or your partner well enough, to be able to offer informed advice?


Asking a bunch of random strangers on something so personal is 1. going to mess with your head 2. steer you in directions that may be entirely inappropriate ?


Good luck!
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Old 21.01.2016, 13:53
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Re: I snooped

Let's just say this isn't a troll thread...
What were you expecting if you found out the worst? It seems that most people cheat these days, and those that don't are accused by the rest of being cheaters anyways and live with that grief.

I think no one can answer that, it's up to you.
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Old 21.01.2016, 14:00
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I snooped

Once the truth is out the trust goes away. Drop him, plenty more fish around.
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Old 21.01.2016, 14:06
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Re: I snooped

What I see is you have already decided to leave him, move on with someone else and need a confirmation for a clear conscience.
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Old 21.01.2016, 14:07
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Re: I snooped

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You don't have close friends/family who know you and/or your partner well enough, to be able to offer informed advice?
Mum, I signed up for this website where people are looking for sex dates and then contacted my boyfriend and he replied!!! What should I do with him?!
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Old 21.01.2016, 14:09
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Re: I snooped

You don't seem bad at the snooping business, as amateurs go, but you should seek the help of professionals.

I'm too old to blow my own trumpet, I'm not that nimble anymore, but, well...

www.missmarple-aging-sleuths.com
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Old 21.01.2016, 14:19
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Re: I snooped

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DB? Nah, it's not his style. My bets are on Timow or Dodgyken...
DB has better grammar usually often mostly
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Old 21.01.2016, 14:19
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Re: I snooped

He has an account for a website that you think is perfectly legal, but to you, questionable - Well, that's your problem, not his.

You're nosey (by your own admission) - your problem, you shouldn't have been looking.

I think you should be asking if he should trust you!! Reading someone else electronic mail is the same as reading the paper mail in the mail box. If you don't trust your partner to the extent you feel you HAVE to snoop, then you shouldn't be in the relationship.

Either way, you can't build a relationship where trust has been broken. Second chances rarely work long term because at some point in the future, the issue will inevitably rear its ugly head.
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Old 21.01.2016, 14:22
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Re: I snooped

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Welcome to the forum... Nice first post
its pretty good what computers can generate nowadays and it will keep traffic coming to your site.
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Old 21.01.2016, 14:23
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Re: I snooped

I held my breath for honest answers coming from people who know very little about EF and there they are....thank you AlexS.
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Old 21.01.2016, 14:23
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Re: I snooped

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Mum, I signed up for this website where people are looking for sex dates and then contacted my boyfriend and he replied!!! What should I do with him?!
Positions 3, 9 and 27 (the latter may require skilled medical assistance)
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Old 21.01.2016, 15:47
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Re: I snooped

Another solution is an open relationship. No more snooping needed.
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Old 21.01.2016, 16:14
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Re: I snooped

Cut him loose and move on. That level of inartful infidelity and clumsy ignorance on his part almost ensures an unhappy future for you - regardless of how serious or well intentioned he may claim be. Imagine that level of failure someday permeating every area of your life and be thankful you can get out now.
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Old 21.01.2016, 16:16
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Re: I snooped

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we live in different Kantons,
Were there no vacant bridges in his?
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