Re. 2) I guess it's also dependent on one's definition of success.

I got my PM on the divorce lawyer - many thanks to the OP.

So Curley, when are you going to start your thread on whether "dating after 40 is successfully possible" as:


Attachment 129849

You see I'm even worse, never did this - to me American - dating stuff. No time for it, I just go for it or don't. So no thread by me, sorry

I guess we would have to define dating too.

Successful dating at 40:

Successful: the state of not wanting to join the Carmelites following a meeting with an available (defined as single, separated, or emgaged in a polyamorous/open relationship) member if the opposite sex (definition applies to me). For the avoidance of doubt is included in the definition of success.

Dating: friendly and open-minded meeting of an available (as defined above) member of the opposite sex, preferably only for coffee the first time to minimise time wasted if absence if affinities. Successful outcomes include: more dates (and potentially fun stuff that will remain undefined in order not to shock sensitive readers), friendship with benefits (and potentially fun stuff better left undefined) and platonic friendship (always interested in new hiking/skiing/drinking buddies).

40: a pretty good place to be if you're in reasonably good shape, have a kid who's super independent and don't take yourself too seriously. Until a couple of years back known as "the time when my life will be over", or "when it all goes downhill". Right.

Quite possibly my definitions differ completely from Curley's and a lot of others.

American?

Like...nobody else likes having fun or good time? (Yeah, fun for each person probably means something else, I want to go fishing, play chess or swim or something similarly on the go).

If you mean scripted stuff, "dates" as ritualistic wine n dine routines, then I am with you, boring. But those are as worldwide as anything, not really yank.

Seriously. I am an American who never did the traditional wine and dine stuff either. I also married at 40. happy i did when I did.

And quite possibly a much wiser move than me getting married at 20.

But I hadn't dated either then. Am currently having my first experiences of adult "meeting and possibly mating rituals" Feeling extremely silly and ignorant of the ways of the world most of the time. But entertaining it definitely is.

Don't try to change it...it is a secret to keeping'em on their toes

People savvy of the ways of the world..are attractive for 5 minutes.

Love that track - thanks

This. including some weird rules about first date .... third date? ..... what ever. LOL

This is already too strange to me. (I'm probably the weirdo here, wouldn't be the first time LOL). Meeting someone with such expectations is not imaginable to me, it would take all spontaneity.

But in times when even one-night-stands are organized two months ahead ..... what can I say?

I'm all about spontaneity when it comes to guys. It clicks or it doesn't and the click s'gotta come as a surprise.

Here are your dates:



Tom

Can also recommend this lawyer - had the first meeting today, and she ticks all our boxes for someone I/we can trust in terms of know-how, integrity, efficiency / saving costs due to good advice. Could have been a complicated situation given the circumstances, but she was intuitive and mediated extremely well.

Thanks EF, and Eva for recommending.

I strongly recommend Richard Chlup http://www.chlup.ch/. I found his name on this web site in a moment of urgency in 2016. He speaks English, German, and Russian at least.

My divorce is a bad one, my ex tries everything and I mean everything to hurt me and take all my savings. I mention this to establish the context in which Richard Chlup has been helping me. We were first in court in Summer 2016 and last in November 2017 and the process will last at least another year more.

Let’s talk availability. Chlup first came to see me in the hospital where I was. It was a weekend and I had emailed him the day before. He has always been available by email and we meet even on evenings and weekends.

About resources, Dr, Chlup has represented me in the local court (Bezirksgericht), the state Prosecutor office (Staatsanwaltschaft), and the Supreme Court of Zürich. He has also provided a lawyer in the USA to provide a second opinion. It is a costly and painful divorce but Richard’s help has been invaluable.

Again, this is a very strong recommendation. Feel free to contact me directly if you want more information.

I can strongly recommend Michele Forster at Frick Nafz Bieri.

She took me out of a deep hole (a horrible mistaken decision of the KESB... a common situation here, unfortunately) and turned everything around so that I won at the Bezirksgericht. It is still not finished but I am in a much stronger position than a year ago. She knows the law and she is highly ethical.

On a separate note... I suspect that there is a big problem here with lawyers who are routinely unethical, but no one talks about it.

I know lots of lawyers in the UK and US as both friends and colleagues, and the ethical question is never an issue... none of them would ever not work in the best interests of their client.

But here, the KESB is often involved, and this seems to complicate things. Does anyone here have more insight on this?

@OP, please share your lawyer contact?

Am going through a low-conflict situation and I am not sure who to contact to draw up our divorce convention.

many thanks.

If it's low-conflict, do it yourself and save a lot of money !

Yes, I have been given such advice. I only have a template which I have received from a legal consultant. And I just need to fill in that template? There must be more to it...?

Or am I over-complicating things?

What do you think is missing? Even the court provides templates, checklists and a Merkblatt:
http://www.gerichte-zh.ch/themen/ehe...ventionen.html

I would still need a lawyer to go through my template and have the lawyer submit this to the courts. I can't do this on my own.

Does your partner agree with the divorce? If not: Have you been separated for two years yet?
Unless you both agree = do it together, you can't file for divorce. Not a day before the two years are up. Even then you will have to visit the "Friedensrichter" (justice of the peace) first. If the partner then still refuses a divorce you can file for it).

Did you get all the basic information? Start here for example?