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  #21  
Old 29.06.2011, 22:28
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Re: Young children bullying

Thanks. I really wanted to know how to deal with the school. There is no use trying to deal with the bullies and their families.
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  #22  
Old 29.06.2011, 22:33
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Re: Young children bullying

To be more clear, the options I see are:

1. Move
2. Put my child in a private school that we can't really afford
3. Write the letter of protest and keep my fingers crossed
4. Allow my child to be bullied

I am hoping someone has better ideas.
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  #23  
Old 29.06.2011, 22:42
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Re: Young children bullying

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To be more clear, the options I see are:

1. Move
2. Put my child in a private school that we can't really afford
3. Write the letter of protest and keep my fingers crossed
4. Allow my child to be bullied

I am hoping someone has better ideas.
Personally, I'd go for my you-tube idea.

Face-book it to all the parents.

I had an a--hole neighbor, he wrote a letter, I made 100 copies and posted it at the building entrance. He'd remove one, I'd post another copy! He shut up!

Tom
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  #24  
Old 29.06.2011, 22:43
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Re: Young children bullying

Make a formal complaint to the headmaster about the bullying - both verbal and in writing.

Indicate that you want the school to deal with this situation properly and that you're not going to go away until it is sorted.

Additionally, inform the parents of the offending children that you will not hesitate to report any and all future assaults on your child to the police.

Cheers,
Nick

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To be more clear, the options I see are:

1. Move
2. Put my child in a private school that we can't really afford
3. Write the letter of protest and keep my fingers crossed
4. Allow my child to be bullied

I am hoping someone has better ideas.
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  #25  
Old 29.06.2011, 22:53
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Re: Young children bullying

Is it appropriate to report a 7 year old to the police? I don't know the procedure here.

I've taken the 'I am not going away' position until now but my daughter's kindergarten teacher has started retaliating against her for my persistence.

I guess the letter of protest would be a written complaint. The kindergarten teacher told me that there was nothing the school could do because it didn't happen at school. I guess on the way home from school doesn't count as at school either.
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  #26  
Old 29.06.2011, 23:28
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Re: Young children bullying

well, at 7 i wouldn't be letting her walk alone to school, esp with two kids bullying her. and if you need to i would get in their face if they tried anything- a sugarcoated putting them in their place to start with and see how that goes before anything else.

go for it with the letter, best to have it official and make it serious- you have a right to have your child in a safe environment. and, make sure the teacher who wants your daughter to walk to school is well aware of the bullies, and then continue walking her to school. find a neighbor or friends kid who goes to the same school if you can to keep an eye out for her, if she doesn't have any older friends in the school, go out of your way to make contact in order to have someone in school, bigger around her.

good luck.
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  #27  
Old 29.06.2011, 23:59
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Re: Young children bullying

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Is it appropriate to report a 7 year old to the police? I don't know the procedure here.

I've taken the 'I am not going away' position until now but my daughter's kindergarten teacher has started retaliating against her for my persistence.

I guess the letter of protest would be a written complaint. The kindergarten teacher told me that there was nothing the school could do because it didn't happen at school. I guess on the way home from school doesn't count as at school either.
As other poster have said, write the letter to the school, but include in it your intention to go to the police and also inform your child's current teacher that you are intending to go to the police.

Then wait a day or two and see what happens... usual the school does not like getting the police involved like this as they will also be dragged into the process, so they may act with more determination than before, if not then proceed with the police complaint.

Jim.
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  #28  
Old 30.06.2011, 00:06
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Re: Young children bullying

That is a good idea, she does have an older friend at that school.

Funny you say that about not letting her walk alone to school. I was just on the receiving end of what I'd generously call a lecture where I was told I am a bad mother and all of my daughter's rebeliousness is because I won't let her walk to her German lesson alone. I call it having a 6 year old. Her kindergarten teacher and German teacher are making a real issue out of me not allowing her to walk alone. I had to hear for 1.5 hours how she was molly coddled and I was stealing her sense of self and independence.

The bully kids are a full year older than her. They are 7, she just turned 6 a few months ago.
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  #29  
Old 30.06.2011, 06:25
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Re: Young children bullying

NickatBasel is right, write the headmaster and ask them to change her into another group. Just one thing, the way to school is not considered as a part of the school but purely as a matter of the parents. However they can tell you they don't like "Mama Taxis" dropping off their kids right at the doorstep of the school or even driving into to the school yard. And I think that's quite understandable because the put in danger the other children.
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  #30  
Old 30.06.2011, 07:41
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Re: Young children bullying

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...
I talked to the teacher and the principal about switching groups and they don't want to without reason. ...
Here's a reason: "my daughter doesn't know anyone in the assigned class, except for two kids who bully her".

A child in Switzerland has an absolute right to education, under law. That includes the right to walk to and from school unmolested, in my view. You might use that fact in your communications. As far as the Kindergartnerin is concerned - what she can do is express her absolute disapproval to the two bullying children over their behaviour, and perhaps lead some classroom work on what bullying is and why it is really bad.

What did you do when the child spat at yours in front of you? I'd have displayed strong anger... most kids are frightened by adult displays of anger.

It might not be the Swiss norm, and you're not trying to change society - but you can make a difference in one or a few person's lives, so it's worth doing. When you really show you mean business and are determined, and reasonable, our experience has been that the authorities start to bend.

When one of my kids was subject to bullying - in one of the roughest areas of the country - we went into the school, got her to point out the child responsible - she was unable to do that, but it didn't matter. We then went into the school as the children were waiting outside the classroom waiting for the teacher, and verbally lambasted the class for permitting/encouraging bullying. When the teacher arrived - we told her what was going on, and then she scolded the class as well. There was no more bullying after that - despite the culprit being (officially) unidentified.

The son of a friend (10) was in a one-off bullying of a smaller child (8). The mother of the 8 y.o. went to the police. The police summoned the 11 y.o and his parents to the police station. "If it happens again, then social services will get involved". So, don't fear going to the police.

Bullying has to be seen for what it is - i.e. assault. If it was adults doing this, they'd been arrested.

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I had to hear for 1.5 hours how she was molly coddled and I was stealing her sense of self and independence.
Why? I'd have walked out if someone had tried that on me. Btw - what's your husband's take on this?
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  #31  
Old 30.06.2011, 08:24
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Re: Young children bullying

As much as you like this idea, I strongly recommend not to go down this path.

It's unlawful to publicly defame someone, even if you are right and it's true.

You don't want to get into more trouble than you already have.

Posting something at a door is something completely else than going public in a negative way with your arguments.

Being bullied or treated unfairly, does not entitle you to counteract in a same or similar way.



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Personally, I'd go for my you-tube idea.

Face-book it to all the parents.

I had an a--hole neighbor, he wrote a letter, I made 100 copies and posted it at the building entrance. He'd remove one, I'd post another copy! He shut up!

Tom

Last edited by armandair; 30.06.2011 at 09:30.
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  #32  
Old 02.07.2011, 10:04
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Re: Young children bullying

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What did you do when the child spat at yours in front of you? I'd have displayed strong anger... most kids are frightened by adult displays of anger.
I understood from the OP that it was the mother of the spitter that witnessed it, not Pencil herself.

It's shocking behaviour and the school, up to now, seems to have seen the most important point as the fact that Pencil's daughter is still walked to school. WTF??

I would echo the advice to write the school a letter but giving them a timespan to work it out or she will file it with the local police.
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  #33  
Old 02.07.2011, 10:14
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Re: Young children bullying

I would

- ask for a meeting between either the teacher or school director, the parents of the boys and yourselves. It seems a lot of miscommunication is happening here and things need to be aired in a controlled environment.

By the way, other kids don't like seeing their mothers walk kids to school. That's a fact and often provokes more teasing than otherwise.
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  #34  
Old 02.07.2011, 10:24
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Re: Young children bullying

I feel you should be persistent in getting your 7-year-old moved into the 1st grade group without the two bullies.
One of my grandchildren was in the same situation and my daughter had to make a real nuisance of herself, but finally her child was moved.
The bullying stopped because my grandson was 'out of sight and out of mind' for a large part of the day.
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  #35  
Old 02.07.2011, 10:31
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Re: Young children bullying

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I guess the letter of protest would be a written complaint. The kindergarten teacher told me that there was nothing the school could do because it didn't happen at school. I guess on the way home from school doesn't count as at school either.
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Funny you say that about not letting her walk alone to school. I was just on the receiving end of what I'd generously call a lecture where I was told I am a bad mother and all of my daughter's rebeliousness is because I won't let her walk to her German lesson alone.
The school seems to busybody about whether or not you walk her to school but when it's something they have to deal with, i.e. the bullying, suddenly the school run isn't any of their concern? Oh, the hypocrisy of them.
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  #36  
Old 02.07.2011, 10:40
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Re: Young children bullying

Usually teachers and school directors are quite concerned about what happens to students as they walk to school.

My son and a friend picked on another kid on their way home from school. It was reported to the teacher and my son got a scolding from the teacher and had to apologize to the other student. I only found out about this because my son fessed up.
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  #37  
Old 02.07.2011, 10:44
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Re: Young children bullying

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I think that bullying is everywhere, in every country..but from where I am from, parents are (over)protective on their kids, and here in CH its common for the parents to just leave teh kids playing wherever, and be a bit more relaxed about the kids. And that means the kids are left to do a bit more freely whatthey want, say what they want and do things that is not good.

I also found that when my kids get their school reports, I am not surprised at what is in there, but many CH parenst are schocked and easily say that the teachers do not know their kids...but I promise you, its the other way around, the parents do not know what their kids are up to.

Kalahari Girl:
That was posted quite a long time ago - and just wondering how the move went. Bullying does happen everywhere, not just in CH- but it is a fact that kids will pick on anybody who is 'different'- if you live in a small place and your kid goes to what is perceived as 'a posh private school'- it might be interpreted as 'the locals are not good enough for you' and attract the wrong kind of attention. No excuse, just a possible explanation. I can see why many parents choose private bi-lingual education- especially if the move is short term- but it has its downside too. Having local friends, acquiring language skills and 'fitting in' is the best way to avoid bullying. Especially if you can get to know a few of the older kids and ask them to keep an eye.
Some go the private school way just because the employers pay for it - without necessarily weighing all the pros and cons.

Last edited by Longbyt; 02.07.2011 at 11:02. Reason: sorted out quotes - which took about ten minutes!!!
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  #38  
Old 02.07.2011, 11:09
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Re: Young children bullying

PLEASE, PLEASE guys, if you shorten quotes leave the square brackets and their contents in place. The ones at the beginning give the members name and say that it is a quote of their text, the ones at the end tell the programme that this is the end of the quote.

It can be VERY time-consuming to sort it all out, to work out which part is the quote and which part the new poster is saying. And if, in the meantime, this second post has been quoted the chaos is perfect. A possibly controversial text is now accredited to the wrong member. And I, for one HATE being misquoted.

Glance at your post after sending. If it looks wrong and you don't know how to correct it, report the post and have a mod sort it out as soon as possible.
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  #39  
Old 02.07.2011, 11:16
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Re: Young children bullying

Apologies- it was my first attempt at shortening a quote and I am a techie dinosaur. Sorry and thanks to all Mods for all the hard work.
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  #40  
Old 02.07.2011, 11:29
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Re: Young children bullying

Or simply 'preview post' before actually posting?
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