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Old 19.10.2017, 15:30
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Re: Mothers move out of family home to pursue "dreams"

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Judging by the looks I get when I take the children to the park, I'd say not.

Don't worry.

When I take my kids to the park I'm pushing them on the swings, climbing up the climbing frame with them and either helping or mucking about myself.

Apart from the sneering looks from the women (who never say hello), they only seem to go to the park to have a good gossip amongst themselves and they basically ignore the kids.
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Old 19.10.2017, 15:36
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Re: Mothers move out of family home to pursue "dreams"

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Don't worry.

When I take my kids to the park I'm pushing them on the swings, climbing up the climbing frame with them and either helping or mucking about myself.

Apart from the sneering looks from the women (who never say hello), they only seem to go to the park to have a good gossip amongst themselves and they basically ignore the kids.
They do sneer at other moms who happen to have too much fun with the kids.
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  #43  
Old 19.10.2017, 15:43
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Re: Mothers move out of family home to pursue "dreams"

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Don't worry.

When I take my kids to the park I'm pushing them on the swings, climbing up the climbing frame with them and either helping or mucking about myself.

Apart from the sneering looks from the women (who never say hello), they only seem to go to the park to have a good gossip amongst themselves and they basically ignore the kids.
I've never seen anyone "sneering" in a playground. Seriously, who does that?

Having a gab with the other mums, why not? Say "hello" to every bloke who is pushing his kids on the swings? Jesus, really?? Not that we're frequent visitors to the swings these days, given the age of the offspring but even at the height of swing-visiting days, it wouldn't have crossed my mind to greet every bugger in there, nor would it have crossed my mind that they would have been inwardly seething about it...

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They do sneer at other moms who happen to have too much fun with the kids.
Just LOL!
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Old 19.10.2017, 15:47
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Re: Mothers move out of family home to pursue "dreams"

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I've never seen anyone "sneering" in a playground. Seriously, who does that?

Having a gab with the other mums, why not? Say "hello" to every bloke who is pushing his kids on the swings? Jesus, really?? Not that we're frequent visitors to the swings these days, given the age of the offspring but even at the height of swing-visiting days, it wouldn't have crossed my mind to greet every bugger in there, nor would it have crossed my mind that they would have been inwardly seething about it...



Just LOL!
I can vouch for this. Some of the looks you get as a man out and about with children could curdle milk.

Mind, it makes a change from the sympathetic "aw bless, Daddy's having his contact day" smiles
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Old 19.10.2017, 15:48
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Re: Mothers move out of family home to pursue "dreams"

My wife is about to leave me and our 9 year old daughter to go on vacation for 3 weeks on her own, after which she will return.

The way this news has gone down with the neighbours is amusing to say the least. It would appear that now she is lumped into the "bad mother, awful wife" category. The relationships between us and our closest neighbours has definitely changed because of this. Finger wagging all round.

I don't fish, but if I went off for a 3 week fishing trip on my own I doubt anybody would say anything at all.

(If she doesn't come back I'll start in new thread around the end of november...)
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  #46  
Old 19.10.2017, 15:49
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Re: Mothers move out of family home to pursue "dreams"

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I can vouch for this. Some of the looks you get as a man out and about with children could curdle milk.

Mind, it makes a change from the sympathetic "aw bless, Daddy's having his contact day" smiles
Maybe we're spoiled in Zurich. There's a real hotch potch of adults with kids from mums to dads to grandparents to the nanny. Seems it's different outside of the major cities.
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  #47  
Old 19.10.2017, 15:50
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Re: Mothers move out of family home to pursue "dreams"

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The key here is that you're a male entering a female domain.
MusicChick is a guy?

Tom
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Old 19.10.2017, 15:50
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Re: Mothers move out of family home to pursue "dreams"

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I've never seen anyone "sneering" in a playground. Seriously, who does that?
Try this: Go to the park with the kids, and once the energy level reaches high Do, shout "You guys are having too much fun! Come and have some Gummibears to calm you down a bit! We can play tag once you've all come down a notch."

The mothers may not all take a shine to you (and some will sneer), but boy oh boy all the kids greet you from that day on.
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  #49  
Old 19.10.2017, 15:51
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Re: Mothers move out of family home to pursue "dreams"

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My wife is about to leave me and our 9 year old daughter to go on vacation for 3 weeks on her own, after which she will may return.
FTFY.

Tom
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Old 19.10.2017, 15:56
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Re: Mothers move out of family home to pursue "dreams"

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Try this: Go to the park with the kids, and once the energy level reaches high Do, shout "You guys are having too much fun! Come and have some Gummibears to calm you down a bit! We can play tag once you've all come down a notch."

The mothers may not all take a shine to you (and some will sneer), but boy oh boy all the kids greet you from that day on.
Gummibears? You think there's any left for the kids..? Muhahahaha...
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  #51  
Old 19.10.2017, 15:57
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Re: Mothers move out of family home to pursue "dreams"

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My wife is about to leave me and our 9 year old daughter to go on vacation for 3 weeks on her own, after which she will return.

The way this news has gone down with the neighbours is amusing to say the least. It would appear that now she is lumped into the "bad mother, awful wife" category. The relationships between us and our closest neighbours has definitely changed because of this. Finger wagging all round.

I don't fish, but if I went off for a 3 week fishing trip on my own I doubt anybody would say anything at all.

(If she doesn't come back I'll start in new thread around the end of november...)
I hope we are not going to read about her in Migros papers. Fingers crossed

Hide it away form her, quick.
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Old 19.10.2017, 16:01
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Re: Mothers move out of family home to pursue "dreams"

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Maybe we're spoiled in Zurich. There's a real hotch potch of adults with kids from mums to dads to grandparents to the nanny. Seems it's different outside of the major cities.
Sure, it's the same here. And the sneers don't happen very often (though the "aw bless" smiles do) - but they happen often enough to be an observable thing that can't just be chalked up to one miserable witch.

See, this is the thing with prejudice against men: we don't talk about it very often, and when we do it gets turned into a joke or explained away, so we talk about it even less.

I've experienced everything from so-called "microaggressions" through bullying to outright assault from women, but hardly anyone knows about them because, well, I asked for it or she didn't mean it or why are you complaining or just lol.

So it goes. That's how our society runs and there isn't much any of us can do to change it.
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Old 19.10.2017, 16:08
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Re: Mothers move out of family home to pursue "dreams"

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I've experienced everything from so-called "microaggressions" through bullying to outright assault from women, but hardly anyone knows about them because, well, I asked for it or she didn't mean it or why are you complaining or just lol.

So it goes. That's how our society runs and there isn't much any of us can do to change it.
That's not sneering, though, is it?

Bullying and assault are a different ballgame from a sideways glance for the easily-hurt to take offence at, and are now a real criminal matter.
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Old 19.10.2017, 16:13
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Re: Mothers move out of family home to pursue "dreams"

There are so many sides to every story. Yes, I'm appalled that the women depicted in this article just up and left - because they seem to have everything going for them i.e. family support, promising and interesting careers / outside interests etc. etc. etc., which many, many mothers don't have the advantage of.

It used to be that if you had them, then you can't give them back. This now doesn't seem to be the case according to this article. I agree with other posters that the piece is extremely badly written / presented, because it doesn't even touch on the whole story or spectrum of cases that can can happen in everyday life.

In some cases it can really be for the benefit of the children that Dad takes over, and why not? Single Moms manage as well. The only important thing is to make sure that the parents are able to manage the parenting in a good way.

Children are adaptable, and if they grow-up in good circumstances (preferably without Mom being depressed at home), and with a loving, capable Dad - then that's a preferable alternative for me.

Although I totally agree that it could leave scars on the off-spring if not handled well, I think that if the circumstances are right and the parents can manage it in a good way, it could be an enrichment to the child's life.
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Old 19.10.2017, 16:24
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Re: Mothers move out of family home to pursue "dreams"

As a stay at home dad I so am not recognising the story's some tell here, we made this choice since my wife got a great offer to work in this country, and is at the start of her career, I on the other hand already had maxed out my career in my country and could care shit about it, and liked some time of after 25 years of hard labour (and yes I consider taking care of the kid and the household as time of). And before we had a kid i did most of the household and she cooked, I used the sewer machine (My dad learned it to me, mum had no clue about that machine), I can have a beer with the lads and the next day go shopping for baby cloths and really never heard anyone makes a complaint about this to me or my wife, and my wife is very often gone for a few days due to attending congresses, sometimes we join and while she is at the congress take a stroll around the town, share an ice-cream or whatever. And other times we just say "See you next week, have fun"

Some people just make a to big fuzz about what others (whom they often not even know) think of them.

And yes I do like all the girls smiling at me and the baby
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  #56  
Old 19.10.2017, 16:29
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Re: Mothers move out of family home to pursue "dreams"

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There are so many sides to every story. Yes, I'm appalled that the women depicted in this article just up and left - because they seem to have everything going for them i.e. family support, promising and interesting careers / outside interests etc. etc. etc., which many, many mothers don't have the advantage of.

It used to be that if you had them, then you can't give them back. This now doesn't seem to be the case according to this article. I agree with other posters that the piece is extremely badly written / presented, because it doesn't even touch on the whole story or spectrum of cases that can can happen in everyday life.

In some cases it can really be for the benefit of the children that Dad takes over, and why not? Single Moms manage as well. The only important thing is to make sure that the parents are able to manage the parenting in a good way.

Children are adaptable, and if they grow-up in good circumstances (preferably without Mom being depressed at home), and with a loving, capable Dad - then that's a preferable alternative for me.

Although I totally agree that it could leave scars on the off-spring if not handled well, I think that if the circumstances are right and the parents can manage it in a good way, it could be an enrichment to the child's life.
This reminds me that my wife has a cousin who looks after his son after his wife/the mum walked out because she couldn't cope with having children. What is more unusual is that he also looks after the son that she had in a previous relationship.

In this case the boys (now teenagers) are better off with the father than with the mother. We never even questioned it, it just seemed normal in the circumstances.
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Old 19.10.2017, 16:30
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Re: Mothers move out of family home to pursue "dreams"

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I can vouch for this. Some of the looks you get as a man out and about with children could curdle milk.

Mind, it makes a change from the sympathetic "aw bless, Daddy's having his contact day" smiles
Our niece's husband is currently on 9mths paternity leave from the Greek navy and loving it. We were a bit surprised when the plan was announced, and he was a little bit wary, but it's worked out well for them.

Basically, when our niece went back to work when their daughter was 9mths old, dad's paternity leave began. Luckily, two of his colleagues have also been on paternity leave at the same time, so they've spent the summer at the beach, cycling and kayaking with the kids.

Too often, people make snap judgements based upon a 9-5 Mon-Fri lifestyle, but there are plenty of continental shift workers and armed forces personnel out there who have chunks of time with their kids, to compensate for the time that they're away from them.
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  #58  
Old 19.10.2017, 16:32
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Re: Mothers move out of family home to pursue "dreams"

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In some cases it can really be for the benefit of the children that Dad takes over, and why not? Single Moms manage as well. The only important thing is to make sure that the parents are able to manage the parenting in a good way.

Children are adaptable, and if they grow-up in good circumstances (preferably without Mom being depressed at home), and with a loving, capable Dad - then that's a preferable alternative for me.
I think your post really is on the generously fluffy side. How can a mother moving out of the house to "pursue her dreams" be a good thing for the children? They won't understand such abstract reasons, they will just see their mother is no longer there when they need her. It is as close to abandonment as it gets, and the other half will be left to bitterly pick up the pieces.

Becoming a single parent for reasons like this would be extremely hard to swallow.
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Old 19.10.2017, 16:40
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Re: Mothers move out of family home to pursue "dreams"

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I used the sewer machine
Around here, we call it a toilet.

Tom
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Old 19.10.2017, 16:45
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Re: Mothers move out of family home to pursue "dreams"

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Around here, we call it a toilet.

Tom
No you don't.



And actually I have used those, learned it from my dad, and my mum could not handle it.

So even tho I did use the wrong word to express what I wanted to write, the postings is still fully correct.

And now back on-topic please.
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