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Old 25.02.2018, 05:02
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Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

We were married in 2015, I joined him here in 2016. Got pregnant in 2017 and our daughter will soon turn 6 months old.

Our marriage is clearly ending on bad terms: lack of respect and trust issues + physical violence on both sides + mother in law's intervention. I want to end my marriage officially but I foresee divorcing a lawyer can be tricky especially since I come from Asia, my French is not on reasoning level and I am not familiar with the system. So I am seeking for advices not to be outsmarted by my soon to be ex-husband.

My husband makes more than 200k per year whilst I am jobless here. I plan to return to my country following the divorce. My questions are:

1. My husband insists that I file for divorce in my home country, not here. My unstable suspicious bitter mind is wondering why? Any idea?
2. If I refuse to grant him such pleasure, meaning to file it in CH, should I stay here until the divorce is finalized?
3. Can I claim for alimony? How much roughly? Our marriage is more than 2 years.
4. I am a permit B holder. Am I entitled for any kind of free/minimum cost of legal service or assistance?
5. Most importantly, is custody to the mother guaranteed? I can't proceed with divorce after losing everything in my home country in order to be with this man only to return 2 years later with nothing but stretch marks on my belly to remind me of this painful life chapter.

Following the marriage, I shut down my company and revoked my license (to avoid income tax issues etc). Just wondering if I can claim compensation for losing my source of income and having to start over again? Although I am guessing there is a thin chance here.

What if I can prove the cause of divorce is infidelity? Any chance I will be compensated for my loss?

I appreciate any kind of help I could get. Thank you in advance.
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Old 25.02.2018, 09:03
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Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

1. If there is violence remove yourself and your child from it.

2. Get a lawyer. Regardless of your husband being a lawyer himself he still needs to follow the law, same as anyone else. You need to engage someone who can do this for you.

3. Get a lawyer. Yes, it’s that important.

Good luck.
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  #3  
Old 25.02.2018, 09:44
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Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

Here is an overview on Swiss divorce:

https://www.ch.ch/en/divorce/

Most important for you is that joint custody is the norm so no you will not be able to take your child out of the country without the agreement of your ex. The same applies to him of course.

So questions:

1. He probably knows he'd be better off if you divorce in your home country. You'd need to check if that's even possible since usually you have to be resident in a country to be able to file and at the moment you're not.

2. Yes, of course you should. From the sounds of it this is likely to end up in court and you can't argue effectively from a distance.

3. Nope, not usually. But see 5.

4. See 5.

5. This is all related to your child. You may find yourself obliged to stay here in Switzerland if you want to be with your daughter. He will have to pay maintenance for the child and if you have to stay here too as the principal caregiver he'll have to pay for you as well. If he doesn't pay up it is possible to get help from your canton to take the money directly from his salary. Of course if he's happy for you to take the child with you then it shouldn't be a problem, but you may find that he doesn't pay any maintenance agreed and you'd then have no way to claim help getting it since you're no longer living here.

Those are just general observations from reading the link. As Sandgrounder said, remove yourself and your child from the violent situation and consult a good divorce lawyer asap. Because you're going to need one. And no, you are not entitled to any free help apart from what is mentioned under 5 regarding maintenance payments.
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Old 25.02.2018, 12:07
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Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

You are asking some reasonable questions but you do not know how the Swiss system works so start with the links that have been provided.

First of all, you are much better to file here in Switzerland because the system is relatively clear and both of you are here. Imagine trying to get support payments from your husband if they have been decided by an asian court.

Your husband also needs to be on "his best behaviour" in a Swiss/Lausanne court since his professional reputation is at stake.

I did not read the link above so I may be saying the same thing. In Switzerland you start with a separation and the divorce will only be decided after 2 years earliest. Divorce here is Switzerland is "no fault" so you do not have to prove the other person is not nice, has a new love interest etc. If however your partner does become violent (before you find another living solution), do not hesitate to call the police (117).

As mentioned above, you need to get a lawyer first. The lawyer will explain things to you and how the process will go. You can get help to pay for the lawyer (a loan) from the Vaud government. The lawyer can help file the papers. It also means that the lawyer will work for CHF 180 per hour rather than a higher level that they may normally get.

Good luck.
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Old 25.02.2018, 12:24
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Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

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In Switzerland you start with a separation and the divorce will only be decided after 2 years earliest.
Only if contested. If both agree, it can be done immediately.

Tom
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Old 25.02.2018, 12:27
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Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

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I did not read the link above so I may be saying the same thing. In Switzerland you start with a separation and the divorce will only be decided after 2 years earliest.
Only if they can't agree on the divorce settlement and a judge gets involved I think.

"Unilateral petition

• If the spouses do not agree to divorce, either one may make a unilateral application if they have lived apart for a minimum of two years.

• In exceptional cases, a divorce can be granted before the two years are over if it is unreasonable to expect one of the spouses to continue in the marriage, for example in the case of physical abuse."

However, given the acrimony there seems to be in this marriage I suspect they will have to go down the 2 year separation route before applying for a divorce, though the physical abuse may shorten the period.
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Old 25.02.2018, 12:37
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Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

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Only if they can't agree on the divorce settlement and a judge gets involved I think.

"Unilateral petition

• If the spouses do not agree to divorce, either one may make a unilateral application if they have lived apart for a minimum of two years.

• In exceptional cases, a divorce can be granted before the two years are over if it is unreasonable to expect one of the spouses to continue in the marriage, for example in the case of physical abuse."

However, given the acrimony there seems to be in this marriage I suspect they will have to go down the 2 year separation route before applying for a divorce, though the physical abuse may shorten the period.
Thanks M-F. I was not being clear. I was assuming (you all know what that means) that hubby will not be happy when the OP takes him to court in Lausanne (so not a joint filing) and gets half of his pension etc. and a healthy monthly support for her and support for the baby. I think this one will drag on for a while.
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Old 25.02.2018, 12:46
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Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

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hubby will not be happy when the OP takes him to court in Lausanne (so not a joint filing) and gets half of his pension.
She won't get half of his pension, just half of that which he accumulated during the three-year marriage (and separation).

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physical violence on both sides
That's not going to be good for either party.

Tom
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Old 25.02.2018, 12:54
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Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

I'm afraid I agree Verbier. But the physical abuse may play a part in getting the divorce quicker.

What I'm more worried about is the OP being stuck in Switzerland for many years because she's the primary caregiver of the child and husband won't agree to said child leaving Switzerland. I don't know if a judge here can rule on that sort of thing. If not then the OP is stuck here looking after her daughter or has to leave her behind, probably forever. I've no idea how difficult it may be for her to get a visitor's visa to visit her daughter here, especially if the husband doesn't agree to her seeing her. What rights does a foreign national mother have to see her Swiss citizen child? Hopefully she's from a county where a visitor visa isn't needed, but as we don't know that's another thing to factor into this messy situation.
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Old 25.02.2018, 14:44
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Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

Mamakoboi, here is a good info sheet on issues surrounding separation and divorce, written in English, from the Beratungstelle für Frauen. This covers many of the basics that you need to know as you consider your options going forward.

http://www.bif-frauenberatung.ch/wp-...g_Englisch.pdf

BiF is a ZH based organization - but the info should be relevant all over Switzerland.


ETA: Found a BIF organization in Lausanne:
http://www.bif-vd.ch/index.html

The BIF in Lausanne might be a helpful resource for you. While an advice bureau does not and cannot take the place of a consulation with a lawyer, these organizations can be a starting point, providing information that may help you focus as you sort out important next steps.

As other posters have pointed out, there are many issues to be thought through as you consider divorce - most importantly, the wellbeing of your child.

All the best.
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Old 22.07.2019, 14:04
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Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

Hi,I am new here and I have 2 questions in which I hope someone can help me.
1.Is it possible divorcing process to be stopped in Switzerland (for example if both sides agree about that) 2.Now my permit B should be continued for on other 5 years but I also like EU Citizen (still) maried (5years) for Swiss Citizen can apply for C Permit.We are on court 2 weeks after I need to apply for new Permit.Please if you now something any info is welcomed.
Thanks
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Old 22.07.2019, 18:32
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Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

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1.Is it possible divorcing process to be stopped in Switzerland (for example if both sides agree about that)
Yes.

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2.Now my permit B should be continued for on other 5 years but I also like EU Citizen (still) maried (5years) for Swiss Citizen can apply for C Permit.We are on court 2 weeks after I need to apply for new Permit.Please if you now something any info is welcomed.
If you want any relaxation based on marriage to a Swiss person it must be a stable marriage. Specially, in case of naturalization. Authorities might rise a brow if you just had been nearly divorced. There are also other options to get permit C after five years of stay.
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Old 23.07.2019, 13:34
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Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

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Yes.


If you want any relaxation based on marriage to a Swiss person it must be a stable marriage. Specially, in case of naturalization. Authorities might rise a brow if you just had been nearly divorced. There are also other options to get permit C after five years of stay.
Thanks for the info.At the end of month we go in front of judge and I hope we can find solution with my wife. She acted nervously and applied for divorce.Before that we had no argues or problems.
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Old 23.07.2019, 14:18
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Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

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Thanks for the info.At the end of month we go in front of judge and I hope we can find solution with my wife. She acted nervously and applied for divorce.Before that we had no argues or problems.



So out of the blue she asks for a divorce ....
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Old 24.07.2019, 14:57
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Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

Something like that,once she talked to me about my job and why I still do not have contract for long term,and that I do not try enough for one or for new job.This conversation happened after our child was born.I understand she wants security and need to provide security on economical base for the family,but we all know how difficult is now days to find good work position especially if you are not Swiss and you have University degree from other Land.They do not give you chance or even a chance for new Ausbildung.
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Old 24.07.2019, 17:06
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Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

Guess he wants you to do this abroad as he does not want to loose half his Pension.

Google 'Getting divorced in Switzerland' tons of websites and services, I know as I have to do this myself as my partner wants this.
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Old 24.07.2019, 17:27
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Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

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Something like that,once she talked to me about my job and why I still do not have contract for long term,and that I do not try enough for one or for new job.This conversation happened after our child was born.I understand she wants security and need to provide security on economical base for the family,but we all know how difficult is now days to find good work position especially if you are not Swiss and you have University degree from other Land.They do not give you chance or even a chance for new Ausbildung.
https://www.swissinfo.ch/eng/top-pay...xpats/45075010

Expats are actually non-Swiss and mostly have a university degree from other land
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Old 24.07.2019, 18:43
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Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

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Guess he wants you to do this abroad as he does not want to loose half his Pension.
Unless he was married his whole working life, he would not lose half of his pension.

Tom
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Old 25.07.2019, 07:51
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Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

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Unless he was married his whole working life, he would not lose half of his pension.

Tom
Sorry, yes half his pension from the time he was married. This from my understanding in non-negotiable.

One web site I found useful is http://only1life.ch
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