Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Help & tips > Family matters/health  
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 25.02.2018, 05:02
Newbie
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Lausanne
Posts: 1
Groaned at 0 Times in 0 Posts
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
mamakoboi has no particular reputation at present
Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

We were married in 2015, I joined him here in 2016. Got pregnant in 2017 and our daughter will soon turn 6 months old.

Our marriage is clearly ending on bad terms: lack of respect and trust issues + physical violence on both sides + mother in law's intervention. I want to end my marriage officially but I foresee divorcing a lawyer can be tricky especially since I come from Asia, my French is not on reasoning level and I am not familiar with the system. So I am seeking for advices not to be outsmarted by my soon to be ex-husband.

My husband makes more than 200k per year whilst I am jobless here. I plan to return to my country following the divorce. My questions are:

1. My husband insists that I file for divorce in my home country, not here. My unstable suspicious bitter mind is wondering why? Any idea?
2. If I refuse to grant him such pleasure, meaning to file it in CH, should I stay here until the divorce is finalized?
3. Can I claim for alimony? How much roughly? Our marriage is more than 2 years.
4. I am a permit B holder. Am I entitled for any kind of free/minimum cost of legal service or assistance?
5. Most importantly, is custody to the mother guaranteed? I can't proceed with divorce after losing everything in my home country in order to be with this man only to return 2 years later with nothing but stretch marks on my belly to remind me of this painful life chapter.

Following the marriage, I shut down my company and revoked my license (to avoid income tax issues etc). Just wondering if I can claim compensation for losing my source of income and having to start over again? Although I am guessing there is a thin chance here.

What if I can prove the cause of divorce is infidelity? Any chance I will be compensated for my loss?

I appreciate any kind of help I could get. Thank you in advance.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 25.02.2018, 09:03
Sandgrounder's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: ZH
Posts: 13,638
Groaned at 126 Times in 117 Posts
Thanked 24,971 Times in 9,625 Posts
Sandgrounder has a reputation beyond reputeSandgrounder has a reputation beyond reputeSandgrounder has a reputation beyond reputeSandgrounder has a reputation beyond reputeSandgrounder has a reputation beyond reputeSandgrounder has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

1. If there is violence remove yourself and your child from it.

2. Get a lawyer. Regardless of your husband being a lawyer himself he still needs to follow the law, same as anyone else. You need to engage someone who can do this for you.

3. Get a lawyer. Yes, it’s that important.

Good luck.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Sandgrounder for this useful post:
  #3  
Old 25.02.2018, 09:44
Medea Fleecestealer's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Switzerland
Posts: 20,404
Groaned at 353 Times in 268 Posts
Thanked 14,872 Times in 8,552 Posts
Medea Fleecestealer has a reputation beyond reputeMedea Fleecestealer has a reputation beyond reputeMedea Fleecestealer has a reputation beyond reputeMedea Fleecestealer has a reputation beyond reputeMedea Fleecestealer has a reputation beyond reputeMedea Fleecestealer has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

Here is an overview on Swiss divorce:

https://www.ch.ch/en/divorce/

Most important for you is that joint custody is the norm so no you will not be able to take your child out of the country without the agreement of your ex. The same applies to him of course.

So questions:

1. He probably knows he'd be better off if you divorce in your home country. You'd need to check if that's even possible since usually you have to be resident in a country to be able to file and at the moment you're not.

2. Yes, of course you should. From the sounds of it this is likely to end up in court and you can't argue effectively from a distance.

3. Nope, not usually. But see 5.

4. See 5.

5. This is all related to your child. You may find yourself obliged to stay here in Switzerland if you want to be with your daughter. He will have to pay maintenance for the child and if you have to stay here too as the principal caregiver he'll have to pay for you as well. If he doesn't pay up it is possible to get help from your canton to take the money directly from his salary. Of course if he's happy for you to take the child with you then it shouldn't be a problem, but you may find that he doesn't pay any maintenance agreed and you'd then have no way to claim help getting it since you're no longer living here.

Those are just general observations from reading the link. As Sandgrounder said, remove yourself and your child from the violent situation and consult a good divorce lawyer asap. Because you're going to need one. And no, you are not entitled to any free help apart from what is mentioned under 5 regarding maintenance payments.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 25.02.2018, 12:07
Verbier's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Lully VD
Posts: 4,112
Groaned at 16 Times in 16 Posts
Thanked 4,196 Times in 2,164 Posts
Verbier has a reputation beyond reputeVerbier has a reputation beyond reputeVerbier has a reputation beyond reputeVerbier has a reputation beyond reputeVerbier has a reputation beyond reputeVerbier has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

You are asking some reasonable questions but you do not know how the Swiss system works so start with the links that have been provided.

First of all, you are much better to file here in Switzerland because the system is relatively clear and both of you are here. Imagine trying to get support payments from your husband if they have been decided by an asian court.

Your husband also needs to be on "his best behaviour" in a Swiss/Lausanne court since his professional reputation is at stake.

I did not read the link above so I may be saying the same thing. In Switzerland you start with a separation and the divorce will only be decided after 2 years earliest. Divorce here is Switzerland is "no fault" so you do not have to prove the other person is not nice, has a new love interest etc. If however your partner does become violent (before you find another living solution), do not hesitate to call the police (117).

As mentioned above, you need to get a lawyer first. The lawyer will explain things to you and how the process will go. You can get help to pay for the lawyer (a loan) from the Vaud government. The lawyer can help file the papers. It also means that the lawyer will work for CHF 180 per hour rather than a higher level that they may normally get.

Good luck.
__________________
Do or do not, there is no try(ing). Yoda
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 25.02.2018, 12:24
st2lemans's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Lugano
Posts: 26,975
Groaned at 1,693 Times in 1,295 Posts
Thanked 31,318 Times in 14,970 Posts
st2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

Quote:
View Post
In Switzerland you start with a separation and the divorce will only be decided after 2 years earliest.
Only if contested. If both agree, it can be done immediately.

Tom
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 25.02.2018, 12:27
Medea Fleecestealer's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Switzerland
Posts: 20,404
Groaned at 353 Times in 268 Posts
Thanked 14,872 Times in 8,552 Posts
Medea Fleecestealer has a reputation beyond reputeMedea Fleecestealer has a reputation beyond reputeMedea Fleecestealer has a reputation beyond reputeMedea Fleecestealer has a reputation beyond reputeMedea Fleecestealer has a reputation beyond reputeMedea Fleecestealer has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

Quote:
View Post
I did not read the link above so I may be saying the same thing. In Switzerland you start with a separation and the divorce will only be decided after 2 years earliest.
Only if they can't agree on the divorce settlement and a judge gets involved I think.

"Unilateral petition

If the spouses do not agree to divorce, either one may make a unilateral application if they have lived apart for a minimum of two years.

In exceptional cases, a divorce can be granted before the two years are over if it is unreasonable to expect one of the spouses to continue in the marriage, for example in the case of physical abuse."

However, given the acrimony there seems to be in this marriage I suspect they will have to go down the 2 year separation route before applying for a divorce, though the physical abuse may shorten the period.
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank Medea Fleecestealer for this useful post:
  #7  
Old 25.02.2018, 12:37
Verbier's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Lully VD
Posts: 4,112
Groaned at 16 Times in 16 Posts
Thanked 4,196 Times in 2,164 Posts
Verbier has a reputation beyond reputeVerbier has a reputation beyond reputeVerbier has a reputation beyond reputeVerbier has a reputation beyond reputeVerbier has a reputation beyond reputeVerbier has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

Quote:
View Post
Only if they can't agree on the divorce settlement and a judge gets involved I think.

"Unilateral petition

If the spouses do not agree to divorce, either one may make a unilateral application if they have lived apart for a minimum of two years.

In exceptional cases, a divorce can be granted before the two years are over if it is unreasonable to expect one of the spouses to continue in the marriage, for example in the case of physical abuse."

However, given the acrimony there seems to be in this marriage I suspect they will have to go down the 2 year separation route before applying for a divorce, though the physical abuse may shorten the period.
Thanks M-F. I was not being clear. I was assuming (you all know what that means) that hubby will not be happy when the OP takes him to court in Lausanne (so not a joint filing) and gets half of his pension etc. and a healthy monthly support for her and support for the baby. I think this one will drag on for a while.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 22.07.2019, 14:04
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: Langenthal
Posts: 10
Groaned at 1 Time in 1 Post
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
CityClub has no particular reputation at present
Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

Hi,I am new here and I have 2 questions in which I hope someone can help me.
1.Is it possible divorcing process to be stopped in Switzerland (for example if both sides agree about that) 2.Now my permit B should be continued for on other 5 years but I also like EU Citizen (still) maried (5years) for Swiss Citizen can apply for C Permit.We are on court 2 weeks after I need to apply for new Permit.Please if you now something any info is welcomed.
Thanks
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 22.07.2019, 18:32
aSwissInTheUS's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Zurich area
Posts: 10,354
Groaned at 80 Times in 71 Posts
Thanked 15,706 Times in 6,962 Posts
aSwissInTheUS has a reputation beyond reputeaSwissInTheUS has a reputation beyond reputeaSwissInTheUS has a reputation beyond reputeaSwissInTheUS has a reputation beyond reputeaSwissInTheUS has a reputation beyond reputeaSwissInTheUS has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

Quote:
View Post
1.Is it possible divorcing process to be stopped in Switzerland (for example if both sides agree about that)
Yes.

Quote:
View Post
2.Now my permit B should be continued for on other 5 years but I also like EU Citizen (still) maried (5years) for Swiss Citizen can apply for C Permit.We are on court 2 weeks after I need to apply for new Permit.Please if you now something any info is welcomed.
If you want any relaxation based on marriage to a Swiss person it must be a stable marriage. Specially, in case of naturalization. Authorities might rise a brow if you just had been nearly divorced. There are also other options to get permit C after five years of stay.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 23.07.2019, 13:34
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: Langenthal
Posts: 10
Groaned at 1 Time in 1 Post
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
CityClub has no particular reputation at present
Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

Quote:
View Post
Yes.


If you want any relaxation based on marriage to a Swiss person it must be a stable marriage. Specially, in case of naturalization. Authorities might rise a brow if you just had been nearly divorced. There are also other options to get permit C after five years of stay.
Thanks for the info.At the end of month we go in front of judge and I hope we can find solution with my wife. She acted nervously and applied for divorce.Before that we had no argues or problems.
Reply With Quote
This user groans at CityClub for this post:
  #11  
Old 23.07.2019, 14:18
Today only's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Europe
Posts: 7,691
Groaned at 844 Times in 577 Posts
Thanked 9,564 Times in 4,532 Posts
Today only has a reputation beyond reputeToday only has a reputation beyond reputeToday only has a reputation beyond reputeToday only has a reputation beyond reputeToday only has a reputation beyond reputeToday only has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

Quote:
View Post
Thanks for the info.At the end of month we go in front of judge and I hope we can find solution with my wife. She acted nervously and applied for divorce.Before that we had no argues or problems.



So out of the blue she asks for a divorce ....
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank Today only for this useful post:
  #12  
Old 24.07.2019, 14:57
Newbie 1st class
 
Join Date: Jul 2019
Location: Langenthal
Posts: 10
Groaned at 1 Time in 1 Post
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
CityClub has no particular reputation at present
Re: Divorcing a Swiss lawyer. HELP!

Something like that,once she talked to me about my job and why I still do not have contract for long term,and that I do not try enough for one or for new job.This conversation happened after our child was born.I understand she wants security and need to provide security on economical base for the family,but we all know how difficult is now days to find good work position especially if you are not Swiss and you have University degree from other Land.They do not give you chance or even a chance for new Ausbildung.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
divorce, interracialdivorce




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Non EU citizen divorcing a swiss spouse Schon Family matters/health 9 24.04.2017 11:40
<Pls help> Married in CH but divorcing in U.S. needcaffein Family matters/health 3 04.02.2011 21:32
Non EU citizen divorcing a swiss spouse on an overseas marriage basis! Aziz Family matters/health 10 08.07.2008 13:08
[Non-EU] Divorcing Swiss, has child, what rights? Aziz Family matters/health 27 05.06.2007 20:41


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 00:52.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0