Go Back   English Forum Switzerland > Help & tips > Family matters/health
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 08.03.2018, 21:34
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Zürich
Posts: 871
Groaned at 9 Times in 8 Posts
Thanked 1,462 Times in 511 Posts
Trollemor has a reputation beyond reputeTrollemor has a reputation beyond reputeTrollemor has a reputation beyond reputeTrollemor has a reputation beyond reputeTrollemor has a reputation beyond repute
Juggling work and single mom duty...and needing help

Ok, I've been working full-time a bit over a month now and I have to admit defeat: I won't make it without help at home. Hiring a nanny feels a bit overkill, I really only need someone to be there for 1-3 hours in the late afternoon 2-4 days/week so I have a bit of margin to have a real lunch once a while, stay until I'm done with what I'm doing instead of rushing out the door to catch the tram, do my grocery or even go training (how decadent...).

The thing is, I've put an add on tutti but I'm not really satisfied with the messages I'm getting so far, possibly I'm not advertising on the right site or not presenting my case correctly. I'm ideally looking for a native German speaker to help Junior with his homework, preferably a student who could act as some kind of "older sibling" figure since we have no family here.

Since tutti didn't quite do it, I posted on the ETH job board and the job board of PHZH, but so far I've received no response. I've also posted on babysitting24. Any other places you would recommend? Also, if anyone knows anyone who could be interested, I'll gladly take recommendations by pm.

Thanks!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 08.03.2018, 21:52
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: SZ
Posts: 9,166
Groaned at 20 Times in 19 Posts
Thanked 20,217 Times in 6,480 Posts
meloncollie has a reputation beyond reputemeloncollie has a reputation beyond reputemeloncollie has a reputation beyond reputemeloncollie has a reputation beyond reputemeloncollie has a reputation beyond reputemeloncollie has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Juggling work and single mom duty...and needing help

How about Rent-a-Rentner?
https://www.rentarentner.ch

In all my searching for occasional-but-nonetheless-responsibly-minded help, I've found I need to look for more mature folks.

Unlike back home where working one's way through university was common, it seems that few students here need to work - which may be why you haven't had responses.

Also, some Gemeinde or local Elternvereine keep a list of sitters, you might check to see if yours does.


Hope you find the help you need...
Reply With Quote
The following 13 users would like to thank meloncollie for this useful post:
  #3  
Old 08.03.2018, 22:05
3Wishes's Avatar
Moderately Amused
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Bern area
Posts: 8,143
Groaned at 54 Times in 50 Posts
Thanked 12,392 Times in 5,807 Posts
3Wishes has a reputation beyond repute3Wishes has a reputation beyond repute3Wishes has a reputation beyond repute3Wishes has a reputation beyond repute3Wishes has a reputation beyond repute3Wishes has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Juggling work and single mom duty...and needing help

Have you considered a Tagesmutter? Junior would go to the house of another mum for a few hours, so he'd have some company as well. Here's a link to the Verein for Zurich, if that helps: https://www.tagesmutter-verein-zürich.ch/
Reply With Quote
The following 6 users would like to thank 3Wishes for this useful post:
  #4  
Old 08.03.2018, 22:20
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Zürich
Posts: 871
Groaned at 9 Times in 8 Posts
Thanked 1,462 Times in 511 Posts
Trollemor has a reputation beyond reputeTrollemor has a reputation beyond reputeTrollemor has a reputation beyond reputeTrollemor has a reputation beyond reputeTrollemor has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Juggling work and single mom duty...and needing help

Quote:
View Post
How about Rent-a-Rentner?
https://www.rentarentner.ch

In all my searching for occasional-but-nonetheless-responsibly-minded help, I've found I need to look for more mature folks.

Unlike back home where working one's way through university was common, it seems that few students here need to work - which may be why you haven't had responses.

Also, some Gemeinde or local Elternvereine keep a list of sitters, you might check to see if yours does.


Hope you find the help you need...
Quote:
View Post
Have you considered a Tagesmutter? Junior would go to the house of another mum for a few hours, so he'd have some company as well. Here's a link to the Verein for Zurich, if that helps: https://www.tagesmutter-verein-zürich.ch/
Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate.

I originally had my eyes set on a student since I've seen how well my son connects with geeks and nerds and because of the tutoring need, but I should probably reconsider.

Tagesmutter I thought were only for the afternoon, do they really take kids from as late as 17.30? It may not be super practical though, since sometimes I may be back home passed his bedtime. I'll check out the site, you never know.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank Trollemor for this useful post:
This user groans at Trollemor for this post:
  #5  
Old 08.03.2018, 22:21
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: la cote
Posts: 2,922
Groaned at 15 Times in 9 Posts
Thanked 2,324 Times in 1,297 Posts
runningdeer has a reputation beyond reputerunningdeer has a reputation beyond reputerunningdeer has a reputation beyond reputerunningdeer has a reputation beyond reputerunningdeer has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Juggling work and single mom duty...and needing help

Go around the neighborhood looking for a babysitter/tutor, a local teen is perfect. Ask the commune, neighbors, anyone else close to home. Word of mouth works best.
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank runningdeer for this useful post:
  #6  
Old 08.03.2018, 23:00
swisspea's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: From one side of lake Zurich to the other...
Posts: 5,656
Groaned at 33 Times in 22 Posts
Thanked 5,274 Times in 2,527 Posts
swisspea has a reputation beyond reputeswisspea has a reputation beyond reputeswisspea has a reputation beyond reputeswisspea has a reputation beyond reputeswisspea has a reputation beyond reputeswisspea has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Juggling work and single mom duty...and needing help

The 'locals' in my area all use 'liliput'.

And I highly recommend getting a professional cleaner - Mine comes once a fortnight, and in 3.5 hours she does all the surfaces, kitchen, bathroom, dusting, plus a few things, and I can add 30 minutes ironing if I want to...

There are also 'job services' in our town at the local youth club... you should also be able to speak to the community centre, and put an ad up at the coop and migros.

But if I needed someone I would more likely ask at your kids school...
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank swisspea for this useful post:
  #7  
Old 08.03.2018, 23:08
curley's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: canton ZH
Posts: 7,520
Groaned at 92 Times in 86 Posts
Thanked 7,762 Times in 4,195 Posts
curley has a reputation beyond reputecurley has a reputation beyond reputecurley has a reputation beyond reputecurley has a reputation beyond reputecurley has a reputation beyond reputecurley has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Juggling work and single mom duty...and needing help

Quote:
View Post
How about Rent-a-Rentner?
https://www.rentarentner.ch
You beat me to it!

As far as I remember OP's story, the child does not have grand-parents here, so double win.
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank curley for this useful post:
  #8  
Old 09.03.2018, 00:05
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: ZH
Posts: 3,610
Groaned at 21 Times in 20 Posts
Thanked 5,023 Times in 2,045 Posts
doropfiz has a reputation beyond reputedoropfiz has a reputation beyond reputedoropfiz has a reputation beyond reputedoropfiz has a reputation beyond reputedoropfiz has a reputation beyond reputedoropfiz has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Juggling work and single mom duty...and needing help

Whether or not you have a church affiliation, don't forget to ask there, too. Some churches know of generally helpful people.

Also, depending where you live, there might be a Neighbourhood Help ("Nachbarschaftshilfe").
https://www.stadt-zuerich.ch/sd/de/i...aftshilfe.html

There's also OJA (offene Jugendarbeit) which screens young people looking for work and, I think, guides the process (but I'm not sure of this latter).
See: https://www.info-shop.ch/ueber-uns/
and https://www.info-shop.ch/arbeitsverm...g/fuer-kunden/
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank doropfiz for this useful post:
  #9  
Old 09.03.2018, 00:28
MusicChick's Avatar
modified and reprogrammed
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: La Cote
Posts: 11,957
Groaned at 152 Times in 123 Posts
Thanked 14,235 Times in 7,131 Posts
MusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Juggling work and single mom duty...and needing help

Quote:
View Post
Go around the neighborhood looking for a babysitter/tutor, a local teen is perfect. Ask the commune, neighbors, anyone else close to home. Word of mouth works best.
This, indeed.

OP - shout out from another full-timer, single parent, and still in edu, on top of it. I think maman de jour will not do specifically homework, and retired folks are usually not on top of the pretty new ways Harmos changed some school requirements. A teen will be good, I'd call a homeroom teacher in a local gymnase for recomendation. The not so big age difference is a motivating factor, too. They are helpful and bond with kids easily.

Last edited by MusicChick; 11.03.2018 at 18:22.
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank MusicChick for this useful post:
  #10  
Old 09.03.2018, 21:17
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Zürich
Posts: 871
Groaned at 9 Times in 8 Posts
Thanked 1,462 Times in 511 Posts
Trollemor has a reputation beyond reputeTrollemor has a reputation beyond reputeTrollemor has a reputation beyond reputeTrollemor has a reputation beyond reputeTrollemor has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Juggling work and single mom duty...and needing help

Thanks everyone for all the good advice. A friend recommended to post on the job board of the PHZH (Pädagogische Hochschule), I got a couple of emails today that I'll look through during the weekend.

It would be great if I found someone there. Junior has serious ADD (not hyper, though), we've probably gotten the medication right now but he's got some extra work to do at school to catch up with his peers, that's why the homework supervision is extremely important.

I was hoping to manage on my own, it feels a bit wrong to outsource my son like that. And I can, but just: if I'm at work no later than 08.30 and I don't take more than 30 minutes of lunch, I can leave at 17.25 and be at home at 18.00, 15 minutes after him...but today my boss decided to have a chat at 17.25 and I arrived quite a bit later. That means desk lunch every day at a time when I should really be networking in order to get my contract renewed/made permanent in July and no gym, which I really need in order to get surplus energy out and get the stress out. I'm not even thinking of overtime work (can do that when he's asleep) or having a social life (can have that when he's at his dad's)...I just don't think it's sustainable over time, even if the job is great and the kid collaborates. The both of us would probably be better off with more margin in the system.

Cleaning people I already have. I lasted 3 weeks before I hired them. Splitting from Super-X has also reduced my housework load a great deal.

Have a nice weekend!
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank Trollemor for this useful post:
  #11  
Old 09.03.2018, 22:07
MusicChick's Avatar
modified and reprogrammed
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: La Cote
Posts: 11,957
Groaned at 152 Times in 123 Posts
Thanked 14,235 Times in 7,131 Posts
MusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond reputeMusicChick has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Juggling work and single mom duty...and needing help

I homeschool every night for a couple of hours after work and it is not a breeze. Revisions, new stuff, etc etc. Do not feel bad and get a tutor. They learn better with new bonds! Variety and exposure. I just swapped some of the duty with a stem colleague that needs me to tutor her. That's going to be great. Good luck and keep us posted. Xo.

Last edited by MusicChick; 09.03.2018 at 22:35.
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank MusicChick for this useful post:
  #12  
Old 09.03.2018, 22:07
st2lemans's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Lugano
Posts: 23,758
Groaned at 1,277 Times in 1,001 Posts
Thanked 27,213 Times in 13,010 Posts
st2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond reputest2lemans has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Juggling work and single mom duty...and needing help

Age?

Tom
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 09.03.2018, 22:52
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Ostschweiz
Posts: 5,854
Groaned at 190 Times in 163 Posts
Thanked 7,361 Times in 3,824 Posts
Urs Max has a reputation beyond reputeUrs Max has a reputation beyond reputeUrs Max has a reputation beyond reputeUrs Max has a reputation beyond reputeUrs Max has a reputation beyond reputeUrs Max has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Juggling work and single mom duty...and needing help

Quote:
View Post
Age?

Tom
If memory serves OP said he's 9.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 10.03.2018, 23:10
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Zürich
Posts: 871
Groaned at 9 Times in 8 Posts
Thanked 1,462 Times in 511 Posts
Trollemor has a reputation beyond reputeTrollemor has a reputation beyond reputeTrollemor has a reputation beyond reputeTrollemor has a reputation beyond reputeTrollemor has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Juggling work and single mom duty...and needing help

Quote:
View Post
Age?

Tom
Mine or his?
Reply With Quote
The following 3 users would like to thank Trollemor for this useful post:
  #15  
Old 11.03.2018, 07:52
FCBarca's Avatar
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: La Côte
Posts: 822
Groaned at 66 Times in 30 Posts
Thanked 734 Times in 356 Posts
FCBarca has a reputation beyond reputeFCBarca has a reputation beyond reputeFCBarca has a reputation beyond reputeFCBarca has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Juggling work and single mom duty...and needing help

Red Cross puts together a list of babysitters they've had 'certified' through a 2 day course they offer - a bit hit/miss as these are teenagers but many are envisioning a career in teaching or taking care of children. Pretty reasonable fees too
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 11.03.2018, 08:32
JagWaugh's Avatar
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Eglisau
Posts: 6,753
Groaned at 49 Times in 48 Posts
Thanked 12,847 Times in 5,066 Posts
JagWaugh has a reputation beyond reputeJagWaugh has a reputation beyond reputeJagWaugh has a reputation beyond reputeJagWaugh has a reputation beyond reputeJagWaugh has a reputation beyond reputeJagWaugh has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Juggling work and single mom duty...and needing help

Quote:
View Post
...

It would be great if I found someone there. Junior has serious ADD (not hyper, though), we've probably gotten the medication right now but he's got some extra work to do at school to catch up with his peers, that's why the homework supervision is extremely important.

I was hoping to manage on my own, it feels a bit wrong to outsource my son like that. And I can, but just: if I'm at work no later than 08.30 and I don't take more than 30 minutes of lunch, I can leave at 17.25 and be at home at 18.00, 15 minutes after him...but today my boss decided to have a chat at 17.25 and I arrived quite a bit later. That means desk lunch every day at a time when I should really be networking in order to get my contract renewed/made permanent in July and no gym, which I really need in order to get surplus energy out and get the stress out. I'm not even thinking of overtime work (can do that when he's asleep) or having a social life (can have that when he's at his dad's)...I just don't think it's sustainable over time, even if the job is great and the kid collaborates. The both of us would probably be better off with more margin in the system.
Lose the guilt about outsourcing some parts of care for your son.

There will be days when you get home browned off, and he gets home browned off. You'll rush through dinner, grab the books, and head for the dining room table.

Then the "That's not how we learned it" moment, or a poorly chosen word/phrase of encouragement, or something or other tips the balance.

Boom, you're having an argument while trying to help your child.

Kids have fewer arguments with tutors because they don't have to love their tutors, and their tutors don't have to love them. The only thing they have to do together is exchange knowledge.

(and... it lets you propagate the "genius parent" myth by allowing you to concentrate on helping them with the things you are gifted at, and introduce the "human parent" myth by being able to reply "sorry, I've always been rubbish at that, I'm the wrong person to ask. Lets find someone who is good at this.". Balancing these two myths makes for a smoother puberty - of that I am convinced.)
__________________
If everyone you know agrees with you consistently, they are either not listening, or not capable of critical thought.
Reply With Quote
The following 11 users would like to thank JagWaugh for this useful post:
  #17  
Old 11.03.2018, 08:45
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: SZ
Posts: 9,166
Groaned at 20 Times in 19 Posts
Thanked 20,217 Times in 6,480 Posts
meloncollie has a reputation beyond reputemeloncollie has a reputation beyond reputemeloncollie has a reputation beyond reputemeloncollie has a reputation beyond reputemeloncollie has a reputation beyond reputemeloncollie has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Juggling work and single mom duty...and needing help

Trollmor, you mentioned that you already looked on Babysitting24; have you also looked on the tutoring site that is part of that group of job platforms?

https://tutor24.ch

If your main need is for tutoring help this site might get you better response. But if there is also a sitting component to your need this site might be of less help, as some folks registering as tutors might not be willing to provide additional services.

But nonetheless perhaps worth taking a peek at the site.

(I believe each site in the '24' franchise requires separate registration, though.)
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank meloncollie for this useful post:
  #18  
Old 11.03.2018, 09:31
Forum Legend
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Albisrieden
Posts: 4,382
Groaned at 98 Times in 67 Posts
Thanked 6,287 Times in 2,352 Posts
nickatbasel has a reputation beyond reputenickatbasel has a reputation beyond reputenickatbasel has a reputation beyond reputenickatbasel has a reputation beyond reputenickatbasel has a reputation beyond reputenickatbasel has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Juggling work and single mom duty...and needing help

Have you considered a Hort? The one at my son‘s school also runs a homework club. Maybe your child‘s school has smilar.
Reply With Quote
This user would like to thank nickatbasel for this useful post:
  #19  
Old 11.03.2018, 09:32
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Zürich
Posts: 871
Groaned at 9 Times in 8 Posts
Thanked 1,462 Times in 511 Posts
Trollemor has a reputation beyond reputeTrollemor has a reputation beyond reputeTrollemor has a reputation beyond reputeTrollemor has a reputation beyond reputeTrollemor has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Juggling work and single mom duty...and needing help

Quote:
View Post
Lose the guilt about outsourcing some parts of care for your son.

There will be days when you get home browned off, and he gets home browned off. You'll rush through dinner, grab the books, and head for the dining room table.

Then the "That's not how we learned it" moment, or a poorly chosen word/phrase of encouragement, or something or other tips the balance.

Boom, you're having an argument while trying to help your child.

Kids have fewer arguments with tutors because they don't have to love their tutors, and their tutors don't have to love them. The only thing they have to do together is exchange knowledge.

(and... it lets you propagate the "genius parent" myth by allowing you to concentrate on helping them with the things you are gifted at, and introduce the "human parent" myth by being able to reply "sorry, I've always been rubbish at that, I'm the wrong person to ask. Lets find someone who is good at this.". Balancing these two myths makes for a smoother puberty - of that I am convinced.)
You just nailed it Jag.

The "boom you're having an argument while trying to help your child" sounds already too familiar... I'm honest enough to admit that there may be things I'm great at as a parent, but I seriously suck a quite a few others, like patience and diplomacy. Or asking for help when I need it; I tend to try to fix everything myself even if it's a really bad idea. I'll also humbly admit that I currently find the "home shift" more stressfull than the "work shift" (which is already stressful enough, given the temporary nature of my position). Luckily my son is quite an easy kid, besides the ADD; he doesn't create mayhem or anything of the sort, he just lives in a parallel universe.

I seem super organised and disciplined, but keeping it together requires willpower and energy. I need 4 things to keep going without losing my health and sanity: regular exercise, healthy food, enough sleep and a minimum of margin in my day to not have to watch the clock all the time. The last 2 weeks, I've gotten none of these and I'm definitely feeling it. The exercise part is the most important I think: the less I train, the more restless I get and it affects my sleep, then I start eating crap and soon after I feel like crap too.

Junior is going to his dad tomorrow, it will give me a week to 1) refill my flexitime account at work; 2) find a sitter for when he's back; 3) train; 4) sleep, 5) recover from the sinusitis I've been dragging since Sportferien and 6) hopefully recharge the batteries (although I'm not holding my breath there).

I'm putting the last 6 weeks in the lessons learned section of my Empirical Guidebook to Life. First job in Switzerland, after 5,5 years at home and a separation; there's definitely a lot of learning to get from that and I was bound to make a few strategic mistakes.
Reply With Quote
The following 4 users would like to thank Trollemor for this useful post:
  #20  
Old 11.03.2018, 09:37
Forum Veteran
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Zürich
Posts: 871
Groaned at 9 Times in 8 Posts
Thanked 1,462 Times in 511 Posts
Trollemor has a reputation beyond reputeTrollemor has a reputation beyond reputeTrollemor has a reputation beyond reputeTrollemor has a reputation beyond reputeTrollemor has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Juggling work and single mom duty...and needing help

Quote:
View Post
Have you considered a Hort? The one at my son‘s school also runs a homework club. Maybe your child‘s school has smilar.
He's already at Hort until 17.30. But I can't really leave the office before 18.00. Or if I do, like I did this week, I can't have a proper lunch break which I really need to keep my energy levels up in the afternoon. I need 1 extra hour to my day as a baseline, with 1-2 extra hours on top about twice a week for overtime work/training.

I gave him a key to the house this week. It worked for 2 evenings, but Friday he got worried and wasn't too happy when I didn't show up before 18.15 because my boss had some urgent message to give me at 17.30.
Reply With Quote
The following 2 users would like to thank Trollemor for this useful post:
Reply




Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Hi - newby here and needing a bit of help (Lucerne) Essexhere Introductions 7 11.01.2012 15:37
needing venue and catering help! please! tmsw Entertainment & dining 0 23.06.2011 11:57
Guten Tag and can anyone help me? [Tracing my Swiss mom's Employment Records] HMC Other/general 21 25.02.2011 16:31
Single working mom new to Zug / CH daughter needs playmates - pls help Roshiebabie Daily life 0 01.07.2010 01:20
Mom and Dads Coffee and chat!! Jake's Mom Social events 0 18.10.2008 18:23


All times are GMT +2. The time now is 16:28.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
LinkBacks Enabled by vBSEO 3.1.0