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Old 24.09.2018, 09:30
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Baby development specialist in English?

Just wondering if there are any baby development specialists who speak English here whom anyone can recommend? My baby is 3 months and 1 week old and has not been making much eye contact at all; she always seems to avoid it. I don’t feel that she knows me even. I’m really worried. I think the paediatrician would just tell me to wait and see.. wonder if there is anybody else who can help.
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Old 24.09.2018, 09:37
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Re: Baby development specialist in English?

Do you mean she doesn't "hold" eye contact (she's v young) or she doesn't look at you at all and then smile? What about when you play games, with rattles etc, blow raspberries on belly etc I am well aware how this next bit will sound, but please try not to worry: worried stressed parents can equal fractious child.
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Old 24.09.2018, 09:41
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Re: Baby development specialist in English?

Babies' eyes are everywhere all the time. I think I'd be more worried if they were staring in one place for extended periods.

If you are worried go and see the paediatrician and ask for a referral to a specialist, if necessary. Paeds are pretty much up there with child development anyway but if it helps ease your mind ask for that referral.
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Old 24.09.2018, 10:27
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Re: Baby development specialist in English?

Same as above. I am actually a 'baby specialist' but I would always recommend for parents to begin with their paediatrician.


Do you go to the 'mutterberatung' (mother and baby clinic ? )... are there any other risk factors like pregnancy or birth complications, prematurity, feeding issues - that make you worry ?
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Old 24.09.2018, 13:41
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Re: Baby development specialist in English?

I know what you mean! We were really worried our first was not focussing on us at all for the first months. She is an amazingly social & outgoing perfectly developed 4yo now. Our 2nd seems to have been making eye contact from week one. All of them are different! Go by the judgement of your pediatrician, they will know what you really should worry about!
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Old 25.09.2018, 12:53
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Re: Baby development specialist in English?

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I know what you mean! We were really worried our first was not focussing on us at all for the first months. She is an amazingly social & outgoing perfectly developed 4yo now. Our 2nd seems to have been making eye contact from week one. All of them are different! Go by the judgement of your pediatrician, they will know what you really should worry about!
Ah, that’s great to hear. Did your first baby start focusing more and more and looking at people more gradually?

My baby does not look at me while breastfeeding. I feel that she doesn’t know me at all.. really worried.

Saw the pediatrictian today. She obviously can’t disgnose a 3 month old. She only gave me a referral to an ophthalmologist, so the first thing we need to do is to make sure my baby doesn’t have any sight issues. Although she admitted today that she thought my baby could definitely see things, and she sees people but the gaze is indeed short.
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Old 25.09.2018, 13:00
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Re: Baby development specialist in English?

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Same as above. I am actually a 'baby specialist' but I would always recommend for parents to begin with their paediatrician.


Do you go to the 'mutterberatung' (mother and baby clinic ? )... are there any other risk factors like pregnancy or birth complications, prematurity, feeding issues - that make you worry ?
I was feeling a bit depressed during my 3rd month of pregnancy. I didn’t eat well. After that I went travelling for a couple of months to see friends and family and I was happy.

The birth had complications. The baby was born small (2.59kg). It was a long, natural birth without any pain medication. I stayed at 8cm dilated for 4 hours without dilating further. Eventually they had to call a senior physician in the room to perform a vacuum assisted delivery, because the baby’s heart rate was all over the place (jumping from 50 to 200) after my water eventually broke. So after 3-4 pushes and the vacuum the baby was pushed out after 10 mins. The doctor told me “listen, we need to get the baby out RIGHT NOW.”

Baby still has a red round mark on her head (lighter colour than before) possibly due to the vacuum. She had jaundice which lasted for 1.5 months. Her eyes were yellow.
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Old 25.09.2018, 13:02
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Re: Baby development specialist in English?

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I feel that she doesn’t know me at all.. really worried.
Wow, that must be a frightening feeling. Have virtual hug, please!

Do you think your baby knows you in other ways? With her other senses?

Does she identify your smell or the smell of your milk? Easy to test… put a few drops of your milk on a fresh cloth, and ask someone else to hold it under Baby's nose. Ditto a top that you have worn for a full day.

Does she know your voice? Does she know when it's you, singing? When you are not in her line of vision, does she know the difference between your voice, and that of her dad, or someone else?
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Old 25.09.2018, 13:52
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Re: Baby development specialist in English?

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Wow, that must be a frightening feeling. Have virtual hug, please!

Do you think your baby knows you in other ways? With her other senses?

Does she identify your smell or the smell of your milk? Easy to test… put a few drops of your milk on a fresh cloth, and ask someone else to hold it under Baby's nose. Ditto a top that you have worn for a full day.

Does she know your voice? Does she know when it's you, singing? When you are not in her line of vision, does she know the difference between your voice, and that of her dad, or someone else?
That’s the problem. Other than not having much eye contact, she also doesn’t show much responses to people’s voices. I really cannot tell if she recognises our voices, because people’s voices alone don’t seem to get her attention. She’s also not all that interested in toys, apart from a few hanging things. I’m not sure if drops of my milk would do anything to her, but I’ll try. She seems to lack understanding and interest in things in general. She sometimes smiles to the blank white ceiling. All of this combined together makes me extremely worried.

I didn’t know this was not normal until I took her to see other babies. She was also not interested in other babies and didn’t look at them in the faces.
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Old 25.09.2018, 13:58
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Re: Baby development specialist in English?

I cannot offer any help...just <3

I hope you find an answer soon!
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Old 25.09.2018, 14:01
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Re: Baby development specialist in English?

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That’s the problem. Other than not having much eye contact, she also doesn’t show much responses to people’s voices. I really cannot tell if she recognises our voices, because people’s voices alone don’t seem to get her attention. She’s also not all that interested in toys, apart from a few hanging things. I’m not sure if drops of my milk would do anything to her, but I’ll try. She seems to lack understanding and interest in things in general. She sometimes smiles to the blank white ceiling. All of this combined together makes me extremely worried.

I didn’t know this was not normal until I took her to see other babies. She was also not interested in other babies and didn’t look at them in the faces.
I don't think you are going to relax until you take the baby to a specialist, to be honest. A bunch of strangers on the internetz are not going to be able to put your mind at rest.

Having said all that, your baby doesn't sound THAT unusual from what you write.

At three months they're still not quite at the stage where they are reaching for things so ignoring toys is normal.

Smiling at the ceiling is how you are interpreting it as an adult. Babies haven't learned how to get full control of their muscles which is why their arms and legs are never still and are constantly kicking out in all directions. The same goes for their facial expressions. A smile could be a reaction to a tummy rumble or other sensation, or just random.

I don't think much can be ascertained by putting drops of milk on fabric, to be honest. Just persevere with lots of contact and snuggles, lots of chatter, offering toys, etc., and get a referral to a specialist so you can put your mind at rest and just enjoy your baby.
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Old 25.09.2018, 14:14
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Re: Baby development specialist in English?

Since you are concerned, you should make an appointment with your pediatrician and ask to be referred to a specialist. Your pediatrician will know whom to contact.

I think this is really a case where you should trust your instinct and follow up, rather than regret it later. And, no matter if your pediatrician or a specialist reassures you or your find something out that you need to take care, you'll be much better off having done it.

Good luck!
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Old 25.09.2018, 15:58
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Re: Baby development specialist in English?

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Same as above. I am actually a 'baby specialist' but I would always recommend for parents to begin with their paediatrician.


Do you go to the 'mutterberatung' (mother and baby clinic ? )... are there any other risk factors like pregnancy or birth complications, prematurity, feeding issues - that make you worry ?
I have been to a Mütter-und-Vaterberatung in my town twice to weigh and measure the baby. This was also where I first realised how much younger babies stared right into my eyes. But I’ve only seen a nurse there once. It’s a free service. Maybe I should talk to a nurse again next time?
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Old 25.09.2018, 16:10
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Re: Baby development specialist in English?

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Ah, that’s great to hear. Did your first baby start focusing more and more and looking at people more gradually?
I think it came suddenly, at some point, around the 4 month mark, we noticed she started focussing and smiling, it was a huge relief. This is just to illustrate that this kind of behaviour is not unusual at this age but of course does not mean nothing is wrong with your baby. Try not to worry and keep working with your pediatrician and specialists they will refer you to - good luck!!!
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Old 11.10.2018, 23:15
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Re: Baby development specialist in English?

The paediatrician checked my baby’s eye contact and admitted it wasn’t very good but asked me to wait and see.

Then, over a course of 1-2 weeks, baby’s eye contact improved quite a lot, although not perfect all the time, but much much better when she is happy and alert. (I.e. right after waking up from a good sleep)

However, I have discovered that she does not respond to sound / turn head to sound at all, and she’s 5 days short of 4 months now. She also does not grasp or flap any toys on purpose, doesn’t roll over, and because she doesn’t have reactions toward sound or voices, I still don’t feel that she particularly knows me or her dad. I am sure she can hear, because the only time she does have some reaction towards sound, is when a sudden sound is produced during her light sleep or feeding time.

Worries never seem to end for me..
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Old 12.10.2018, 11:39
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Re: Baby development specialist in English?

Glad to hear the eye contact improved! 4 months is basically the earliest for rolling over, so try to take your pediatrician's advice to wait and see... another appointment coming up soon so they can check again! I'm afraid the worries won't end until they are adults, maybe even longer...
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