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  #41  
Old 19.01.2019, 10:41
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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HR are representing the company's' interests, not yours and don't ever forget that
Defending interests doesn't justify bullying though. They're two different things.
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Old 19.01.2019, 11:12
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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Defending interests doesn't justify bullying though. They're two different things.



I never said it did, what i implied was people often erroneously think HR are there to help the employees; they are not, they are in place to defend the company's interests, not the employee's
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  #43  
Old 19.01.2019, 14:26
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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I never said it did, what i implied was people often erroneously think HR are there to help the employees; they are not, they are in place to defend the company's interests, not the employee's
By and large you are right of course. However a small part of HR's job should be to help employees. If employees receive no help at all and/or are bullied by HR, then you're going to have a fast turnover of staff which in the end costs more money, wastes resources and creates more non-productive work internally.
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  #44  
Old 19.01.2019, 15:00
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

Depending on the bully’s age I would do one of two things in this situation.

If child is old enough I would deny him the ride to school. Tell him he is not welcome to travel with. Then tell his parents they need to sort out alternative arrangements, and why.

If he is not old enough tell him that you will talk to his parents to tell them that they must find alternative arrangements.

In both cases involve other parents.

Punishment needs to be measured and immediate.
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  #45  
Old 19.01.2019, 23:43
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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I never said it did, what i implied was people often erroneously think HR are there to help the employees; they are not, they are in place to defend the company's interests, not the employee's
That's very old school.. ;-)
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  #46  
Old 21.01.2019, 13:41
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

Someone praised me, without merit. I am not the parent of the child being abused. My wife witnessed this done to another child, while our kids were watching. She intervened and put a stop to it. Sadly, the victim's parents didn't want any support/witness to accompany them with the school.

I notice how unprepared and uneducated on the topic I am; reading back on my first posts - triggered to go physical? Worst possible approach, in clear classical 20/20 hindsight. What this thread and exchange has done for me is, prepare me for that time this is on my plate.

I have found the nearest Krav Maga club and plan on stopping by; I now know the nearest Aikido club, too. I know how to set the school in motion, instead of set it on fire, if the matter is not dealt with properly. I know the Civil Code has provisions that make it impossible for the police or school to brush it off. And I am determined to do my part. In large part thanks to my wife, and with your kind help and shared knowledge.
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  #47  
Old 02.09.2019, 23:15
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

My daughter had a similar incident at Montessori School in Lucerne. A boy in her class with a violent disposition repeatedly hurt her. He was always going for her eyes. She came home having been kicked in the eye, scratched in the face, bruises, etc. We tried to talk to the school a number of times and I felt like I was talking to a wall... 'Oh she provoked him.', or 'what you say happened isn't as serious as what we saw in the classroom'. My daughter never once hurt the boy back. Furthermore, the school kept encouraging him to give her a gift every time he hurt her. (Such wrong behaviour on behalf of the teachers. )

We asked to speak to the head of the school about it and asked for her to switch classes. They said no to both. So we just pulled her out of the school. They have an obligation to provide children with a safe environment to learn in. If this boy is going to continue to hurt children, it will be someone else's. I'm not sacrificing my daughter's well being because some teacher can't figure out how to manage violence in their classroom. I'm filing a formal complaint hoping that it will help some of the other children now in the classroom, but I expect it will all fall on deaf ears.
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  #48  
Old 03.09.2019, 08:32
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

It's like on EF, really. Some people have the permission to act like bullies, there are no consequences for them.

On a more serious note, it's the only thing you could have done, OP. No child should suffer the persecutions of some spoiled brats.
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  #49  
Old 03.09.2019, 08:55
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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Didn't read the entire thread, maybe someone already brought it up.

What you describe was not "just" bullying, it was a tangible physical attack.
The police needs to be brought in. No the bully will not go to jail, being a school kid but he will be registered, it will have an impact on his parents as they will have to deal with the problem.

Maybe even some social authorities will be brought in. While this is not your part of the problem: There is usually a reason a school boy becomes so extremly aggressive.
They get it in many cases from their parents. And usually from the macho father. At least thats how it works in the Balkan families. The bullies are generally the cowards!
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  #50  
Old 03.09.2019, 09:17
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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They get it in many cases from their parents. And usually from the macho father. At least thats how it works in the Balkan families. The bullies are generally the cowards!
And how do you think it functions in the Swiss/Australian/Patagonian families? Do psychological mechanisms and conditionings escape those?

Frankly I couldn't care less what happens in a family, what are the origins of said family etc etc if my child is bullied at school. I am no mother or father for every child on earth, my role is to protect my own first. There are social assistants, maybe even police etc who should be dealing with certain issues. I am a very sympathetic and kind person and can understand and forgive many things, but my children's well being comes first.
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  #51  
Old 03.09.2019, 10:03
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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And how do you think it functions in the Swiss/Australian/Patagonian families? Do psychological mechanisms and conditionings escape those?

Frankly I couldn't care less what happens in a family, what are the origins of said family etc etc if my child is bullied at school. I am no mother or father for every child on earth, my role is to protect my own first. There are social assistants, maybe even police etc who should be dealing with certain issues. I am a very sympathetic and kind person and can understand and forgive many things, but my children's well being comes first.
Balkan mentality is completely other dimension.
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  #52  
Old 03.09.2019, 10:06
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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Balkan mentality is completely other dimension.
I have no idea what you're talking about tbh. Low educated people behave similarly all over the world as far as I noticed or know.
And "Balkan" is a very generic and more often than not - a vague term that comprises different cultures. Greece is Balkan too. Bulgaria is Balkan too. "The man is the head of the family and the woman its neck, which turns the head wherever she wants to" kind of mentality comes first to my mind. But hey, what do I know, you seem to be the expert on this one.
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  #53  
Old 03.09.2019, 10:09
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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I have no idea what you're talking about tbh. Low educated people behave similarly all over the world as far as I noticed or know.
And "Balkan" is a very generic and more often than not - a vague term that comprises different cultures. Greece is Balkan too. Bulgaria is Balkan too. "The man is the head of the family and woman its neck, which turns the head wherever she wants to" kind of mentality comes first to my mind. But hey, what do I know, you seem to be the expert on this one.

The Balkans are usually characterized as comprising Albania, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Bulgaria, Croatia, Kosovo, Montenegro, North Macedonia, Romania, Serbia, and Slovenia—with all or part of each of those countries located within the peninsula. Portions of Greece and Turkey
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  #54  
Old 03.09.2019, 10:10
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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The Balkans are usually characterized as comprising Albania, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Bulgaria, Croatia, Kosovo, Montenegro, North Macedonia, Romania, Serbia, and Slovenia—with all or part of each of those countries located within the peninsula. Portions of Greece and Turkey
Geographically, some of them are only partly (a tiny part even) in the Balkans. Culturally.....a different kettle of fish.

But I wouldn't debate this on this thread because you don't know who the bullies described on this thread are and where their parents come from.
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  #55  
Old 03.09.2019, 12:02
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

My advice for children who continuously bully and receive no consequence for their actions by the teacher, school director or parents is to let the school director know you'll be positing your experience in facebook or reporting it to the local newspaper.

Works every time.
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  #56  
Old 03.09.2019, 12:07
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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As for other kids, well, I"m not going to take it up with the school. I see something severe, i'm going to the parents - and they will fully understand the gravity of the situation at hand. There kid is not in danger if they don't control them....they are.
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Old 03.09.2019, 12:15
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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being kind and empathic is important but only one side of the story.
being tough and standing up for your self is just as important.
My youngest was being constantly bullied last year - so much so that he kept running away from school. The bullies were known to the school yet the school did nothing.

Instead, they arranged for our son to go to a psychologist to deal with the running away from school.

After several sessions, the psychologist said he was bright and there was nothing wrong with him.

The bullying continued.

We put our son in karate lessons.

After a few weeks, when we was being bullied again, rather than run away, he punched the bully to the ground and then kicked him a few times in the head.

You should heard the other kid's mum moan to us on the phone that night about her son with his bloodied, black, bruised face.

My son was never bullied by that kid or any others again.

He left the karate school soon afterwards - it wasn't really his thing.

I'm not sure my son learnt a good lesson here. It would have been more professional for the teachers to have taken it seriously earlier.

But, apparently the way to do it here in Switzerland is Jack Reacher style - so I'm going to tell him to get the first punch in, every time.
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Old 03.09.2019, 12:24
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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After a few weeks, when we was being bullied again, rather than run away, he punched the bully to the ground and then kicked him a few times in the head.

You should heard the other kid's mum moan to us on the phone that night about her son with his bloodied, black, bruised face.
Maybe you could have suggested that she take her son to the psychologist to deal with the bruised face?
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  #59  
Old 03.09.2019, 13:20
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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So my response now is to toughen up my 3.5 year old, I'm starting to knock him around at home a bit ... I start by taking one of his toys and when he comes to get it, I deck him to the ground. Not too hard and it really hurts me more...and alot, (a piece of me is crying on the inside) but I need to have him stand up. So that's one way i'm going to risk mitigate the bullying a bit.
Don't think I wanna know what your plan is to "risk mitigate" school shootings, mate
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Old 03.09.2019, 13:53
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

Frankly I had to read a couple of posts two times to be able to comprehend the whole message. It puts omtatsat usual gibberish in a whole new "dimension".

I think standing for oneself is a total different thing than hitting one's bully harder, till they crack. Some kids tend to respond disproportionately, I don't think taking justice in one's hands should be encouraged. But well, that is just me and I am not in the mood to have an argument on this one.

Btw, bullies don't always get physical, that is more like a boy thing. Some of them abuse, tease, humiliate their victims verbally, how could you prove that? "Kids will be kids" blah blah.

I personally can't think of other solution than moving the child to a different school, if no teacher cares to set things right. It really starts from there, and it's up to the school ultimately.
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