I disagree. I don't think they are dealing with bullying in an effective way but they do believe being nice and kindness, as you put it, are important.

A current example is that a teacher on probation at my childrens' school who started this term was sent packing after only a few weeks.

One of ways she earned this was because of her actions at the start of a gym class. One of the girls had forgotten her sports kit and the rest of the girls rallied around and found a spare pair of shorts, top and shoes here amongst their own kit so she could participate.
Because of this, they were a minute late for the start of the sports lesson.

Instead of recognising the teamwork, kindness and thoughtfulness of the children, the teacher marked all the children in the class down a point for being late.
Basically, her attitude was - look after yourself and stuff the rest. She was both old-school and old and her attitude was not acceptable.

I really think you complicating this beyond all believe, kids are kids and loyalties change very quickly, day to day, even hour to hour.


I don't think the US system is particularly good for kids, just think of all the mass shootings that happen in school.


Is is also good for everybody to be sugary sweet to everybody all the time ?

Teachers are there to teach, not to act as disciplinarians, that is the parents job to educate and discipline their offspring.


As i mentioned, we're not quite as sugary sweet as in the US, but once we have friends here they tend to be more long term than on a superficial level.


Do i really care about the name of my waiter/waitress...........no but i alweays get told

I'm not understanding what it is you are "hearing repeatedly". That the teachers aren't effectively stopping kids for "unkind" acts, such as being mean to one of the other kids, and giving them a talking to about being kind?

Is this information coming from the other parents or your 3.5 year old?

I assume you are talking about "Krippe" and not school, here in Zurich?

I don't think you can class it as bullying, plus I think the teachers are right to a certain extent to let it play out. If you always stop a child from finding his or her way in a conflict situation, they'll never learn and then it becomes much more serious as they enter school and grow up.

Go and see the Krippe staff and let them know your concerns and ask them how they deal with different situations. I wouldn't go in there as "all-knowing" and quoting from material you've read, rather let them just explain to you.

As a parent I think I would have been a bit pissed off if the Krippe teachers stepped in at every opportunity and stunted my son's ability to find his way with the other kids. Either to give him a chance to stand up for himself or, if he was the one picking on another kid, for him to find out that there's a fair to middling chance that other kids fight back if you pick on them.

Your reaction to your child telling you this stuff is very important. If he/she receives the response they want, the screwed up concerned face, the care and concern coming from Mum and Dad, don't be surprised if your darling child milks it. Kids are expert at finding the attention spots. That is not to say you ignore them, or do not listen, or have a quiet word with the teacher if complaints continue.

But the best response with your kids is to say: He said, what? That's a silly thing to say.. that is not kind" Acknowledge it, shrug it off and model how to be kind. It's the best way to teach them how to deal with day to day upsets, to throw them away, water off a duck's back, if Mum and Dad do the same in real life. Your kids will pick up the skill very quickly and easily.

I'm a expert with very strong shoulders from years of shrugging..

In what way?

Tom

There have been plenty of posts about this on other threads. Try and use the search facility.

Sure, but normally, such discussions are not fun for the kids, no matter how the parents judge the situation and they will avoid another meeting. I don't say its a perfect solution, but i thinks its still better then waiting for the school to solve it. If the stuff mainly happens in the school, talk to the teacher face 2 face if possible and ask politely for a solution on there side.

They don't teach them how to use assault rifles before they're 18 maybe ?

The mods (mirfield, to be precise) seem to have just arrives and blitzed the bullying thread and all evidence of the offending posts. https://www.englishforum.ch/forum-su...-all-mods.html

I really resent my post being deleted, and the reason for it. Plenty of other posts offering opinions are still up. Mine was neither rude nor attacking.

I'm not pleased either. It is all tidily swept away, however.

Neither was mine. But as the post they all referred to is gone, it kind of makes sence.

So going back to OP's problem would be the thing to do?

Since I don't understand what happened to the thread, or why there were mass deletions while I was away from my keyboard in Real Life, I'm going to dare to write, again, what I wrote before.

The thing to do, in my opinion, is that someone who knows who parkadam is (he is not the OP of the thread, but the person who revived it with the current issue) should ensure that his son gets help, and that the father himself does, too.

If no-one who actually does know parkadam wants to do this, then it seems to me that it should be the job of a moderator to determine his identity and report the matter to KESB.

Someone here knows that person and will have a chat. He assured us that it is just talk.

At last, a response! Thank you very, very much, Roegner. I am relieved to know that someone who knows parkadam is going to speak to him. And hopefully to his wife, too, separately from her husband.

Even if parkadam is backing down, and it is "just talk", I still find it very disturbing that a parent could choose to "just talk" about behaviour that he thinks about carry out, knowing that it does/had (or if he were to take it beyond "just talk" and actually do it, would) reduce his 3-year-old to tears.

@Parkadam, something is really worrying. I hope that you speak to someone about your thoughts of how you are approaching your your son or, even if your posts were really intended by you as "just a joke" (which I don't find funny), for you to find a way to stop writing about violent acts as if they were acceptable behaviour. After all, real physical violence is often preceded by a mind-set that "just talking" about perpetrating physical violence is acceptable.

I find it creepy to intervene especially as the person who knows Parkadam has clearly indicated he is full of hot air, which in all honesty, most of us thought this anyway.


If you really do want to intervene give it to the social services of his canton/commune and his details and let them get on with it.

When threatened with police I would tell them it was "just talk" too.

Fact is that he wrote it and it shows a disturbed mind to even lie about that in multiple posts. There is a risk imo.

The posts were removed right in the middle of me reading them. It was most disconcerting. I think I need counselling.

Its called shock therapy. Can be quite helpful in cases like yours