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Old 23.09.2019, 13:50
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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Somthing I've noticed about the Swiss System (seems more and more backwards the more I learn) - is that they don't teach Kindness or being Nice.
I disagree. I don't think they are dealing with bullying in an effective way but they do believe being nice and kindness, as you put it, are important.

A current example is that a teacher on probation at my childrens' school who started this term was sent packing after only a few weeks.

One of ways she earned this was because of her actions at the start of a gym class. One of the girls had forgotten her sports kit and the rest of the girls rallied around and found a spare pair of shorts, top and shoes here amongst their own kit so she could participate.
Because of this, they were a minute late for the start of the sports lesson.

Instead of recognising the teamwork, kindness and thoughtfulness of the children, the teacher marked all the children in the class down a point for being late.
Basically, her attitude was - look after yourself and stuff the rest. She was both old-school and old and her attitude was not acceptable.
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  #142  
Old 23.09.2019, 14:36
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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I'm revisiting as I"m about to have a conversation with the Kita here.
Somthing I've noticed about the Swiss System (seems more and more backwards the more I learn) - is that they don't teach Kindness or being Nice. The other day, my child came home I told me the the kids at his Kita in his gruppe (3 to 4 year olds) are saying "you're not my friend so you can't play with us". As kids they don't do it grudingly, its a one-off per activity event but it's not a nice thing to say and it appears the "Staff" don't respond to that by informing the kid its not nice.
and hense where the bullying start. Sometimes, our 3.5 year old will say something that's not nice - he's saying what's on his mind (ah the innocence) and to those who don't remember he's a 3.5 year old, they can be insulted - hell he'll annoy the hell out of me sometimes. But, something we DO ..in MY household is we do teach Empathy or Re-enforce it vis a vis Books and talking about a situation. For example we read him a book called "Be Kind" - about a little girl who spilt pain on her self and how another little girl was trying make her feel better (short summary), the Whale and the Snail etc.


I don't think the staff teach on this topic - yes they do letters, weather, etc. but it is a very important topic. Whist in the US this past week, I spoke to some friends and the US is advancing here (they're nipping bullying when it happens and its in the spotlight news wise), not to meniton how connected I felt with seeing other Fathers so engaged with their children (that's anohter topic). They are talking to their kids about bullying, about being kind, about sharing and about being nice...I don't see that here.


So - just a note, I will raise to my Kita - its odd, that I"m not a PhD in Child Develpment/Raising but I think I know alot more that these so called "experts" at the Kita. (cause I freaking READ!). I'll probably piss them off. but anybody feel the same.....does the school systtem here teach emphathy, kindness,?? do parents?

I really think you complicating this beyond all believe, kids are kids and loyalties change very quickly, day to day, even hour to hour.


I don't think the US system is particularly good for kids, just think of all the mass shootings that happen in school.


Is is also good for everybody to be sugary sweet to everybody all the time ?
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  #143  
Old 23.09.2019, 15:21
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

Teachers are there to teach, not to act as disciplinarians, that is the parents job to educate and discipline their offspring.


As i mentioned, we're not quite as sugary sweet as in the US, but once we have friends here they tend to be more long term than on a superficial level.


Do i really care about the name of my waiter/waitress...........no but i alweays get told
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  #144  
Old 23.09.2019, 15:26
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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It starts there, so there is the parenting side, but I dont' see the teachers doing it, if I am routinely hearing this is the case at the Kita. Now the teachers ARE great people, am thankful for them, but I do wonder if they are "teaching" or "monitoring" this (I acknowledge I'm odd, I have my freaking 3.5 year old reading words already but that's because I'm integrate learning in my play etc.) So I will raise it - because I am concerned if I REPEATEDLY hear it. And thus question what is being done, understanding the system here is a bit backwards on the bullying aspect...the how are the doing on the empathy aspect.
I'm not understanding what it is you are "hearing repeatedly". That the teachers aren't effectively stopping kids for "unkind" acts, such as being mean to one of the other kids, and giving them a talking to about being kind?

Is this information coming from the other parents or your 3.5 year old?

I assume you are talking about "Krippe" and not school, here in Zurich?

I don't think you can class it as bullying, plus I think the teachers are right to a certain extent to let it play out. If you always stop a child from finding his or her way in a conflict situation, they'll never learn and then it becomes much more serious as they enter school and grow up.

Go and see the Krippe staff and let them know your concerns and ask them how they deal with different situations. I wouldn't go in there as "all-knowing" and quoting from material you've read, rather let them just explain to you.

As a parent I think I would have been a bit pissed off if the Krippe teachers stepped in at every opportunity and stunted my son's ability to find his way with the other kids. Either to give him a chance to stand up for himself or, if he was the one picking on another kid, for him to find out that there's a fair to middling chance that other kids fight back if you pick on them.
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  #145  
Old 23.09.2019, 15:29
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

Your reaction to your child telling you this stuff is very important. If he/she receives the response they want, the screwed up concerned face, the care and concern coming from Mum and Dad, don't be surprised if your darling child milks it. Kids are expert at finding the attention spots. That is not to say you ignore them, or do not listen, or have a quiet word with the teacher if complaints continue.

But the best response with your kids is to say: He said, what? That's a silly thing to say.. that is not kind" Acknowledge it, shrug it off and model how to be kind. It's the best way to teach them how to deal with day to day upsets, to throw them away, water off a duck's back, if Mum and Dad do the same in real life. Your kids will pick up the skill very quickly and easily.

I'm a expert with very strong shoulders from years of shrugging..
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  #146  
Old 23.09.2019, 15:38
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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the system here is a bit backwards on the bullying aspect...
In what way?

Tom
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  #147  
Old 23.09.2019, 15:39
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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In what way?

Tom
There have been plenty of posts about this on other threads. Try and use the search facility.
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  #148  
Old 23.09.2019, 16:29
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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The big problem is that most parents wouldn't want to admit that their little angels are actually vicious bullies.
Sure, but normally, such discussions are not fun for the kids, no matter how the parents judge the situation and they will avoid another meeting. I don't say its a perfect solution, but i thinks its still better then waiting for the school to solve it. If the stuff mainly happens in the school, talk to the teacher face 2 face if possible and ask politely for a solution on there side.
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Old 23.09.2019, 17:01
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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In what way?

Tom

They don't teach them how to use assault rifles before they're 18 maybe ?
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  #150  
Old 26.09.2019, 18:04
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

The mods (mirfield, to be precise) seem to have just arrives and blitzed the bullying thread and all evidence of the offending posts. https://www.englishforum.ch/forum-su...-all-mods.html
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  #151  
Old 26.09.2019, 18:46
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

I really resent my post being deleted, and the reason for it. Plenty of other posts offering opinions are still up. Mine was neither rude nor attacking.
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  #152  
Old 26.09.2019, 18:52
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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I really resent my post being deleted, and the reason for it. Plenty of other posts offering opinions are still up. Mine was neither rude nor attacking.
I'm not pleased either. It is all tidily swept away, however.
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  #153  
Old 26.09.2019, 19:02
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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I really resent my post being deleted, and the reason for it. Plenty of other posts offering opinions are still up. Mine was neither rude nor attacking.
Neither was mine. But as the post they all referred to is gone, it kind of makes sence.

So going back to OP's problem would be the thing to do?
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  #154  
Old 26.09.2019, 20:41
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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So going back to OP's problem would be the thing to do?
Since I don't understand what happened to the thread, or why there were mass deletions while I was away from my keyboard in Real Life, I'm going to dare to write, again, what I wrote before.

The thing to do, in my opinion, is that someone who knows who parkadam is (he is not the OP of the thread, but the person who revived it with the current issue) should ensure that his son gets help, and that the father himself does, too.

If no-one who actually does know parkadam wants to do this, then it seems to me that it should be the job of a moderator to determine his identity and report the matter to KESB.
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  #155  
Old 26.09.2019, 20:47
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

Someone here knows that person and will have a chat. He assured us that it is just talk.
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  #156  
Old 26.09.2019, 20:59
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

At last, a response! Thank you very, very much, Roegner. I am relieved to know that someone who knows parkadam is going to speak to him. And hopefully to his wife, too, separately from her husband.

Even if parkadam is backing down, and it is "just talk", I still find it very disturbing that a parent could choose to "just talk" about behaviour that he thinks about carry out, knowing that it does/had (or if he were to take it beyond "just talk" and actually do it, would) reduce his 3-year-old to tears.

@Parkadam, something is really worrying. I hope that you speak to someone about your thoughts of how you are approaching your your son or, even if your posts were really intended by you as "just a joke" (which I don't find funny), for you to find a way to stop writing about violent acts as if they were acceptable behaviour. After all, real physical violence is often preceded by a mind-set that "just talking" about perpetrating physical violence is acceptable.
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Old 26.09.2019, 21:09
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

I find it creepy to intervene especially as the person who knows Parkadam has clearly indicated he is full of hot air, which in all honesty, most of us thought this anyway.


If you really do want to intervene give it to the social services of his canton/commune and his details and let them get on with it.
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  #158  
Old 26.09.2019, 22:00
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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Someone here knows that person and will have a chat. He assured us that it is just talk.
When threatened with police I would tell them it was "just talk" too.

Fact is that he wrote it and it shows a disturbed mind to even lie about that in multiple posts. There is a risk imo.

Last edited by Chuff; 26.09.2019 at 23:13.
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Old 26.09.2019, 22:54
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

The posts were removed right in the middle of me reading them. It was most disconcerting. I think I need counselling.
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Old 27.09.2019, 08:00
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Re: School Bullying > Advice Needed

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The posts were removed right in the middle of me reading them. It was most disconcerting. I think I need counselling.
Its called shock therapy. Can be quite helpful in cases like yours
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