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Old 07.02.2019, 09:24
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Re: Can I leave a 6 and 9 year old alone?

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OP, do you trust your kids could be left alone for less than an hour?
Can you ask one of their friends' mom to take them for an hour?
I am 100% sure you will find someone willing to take them for an hour, not necessarily to come over your place.
Yes, I do. They are proud to be left alone, especially when its more convenient for them.

Son doesn't have any friends.

I would 100% be able to find someone to take my daughter, but think that it would be too long for my son completely alone, whereas with daughter they would be ok.

I'm also 100% sure that in an emergency e.g. having to take daughter to hospital that one of her friends' parents would take son for me. But this isn't really an emergency so I don't want to ask!
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Old 07.02.2019, 10:24
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Re: Can I leave a 6 and 9 year old alone?

OK but to me this feels a little bit at odds with what you said earlier.

If you think that one child could not be left alone, but both together can be, then you ARE depending on the other one to be "in charge" - or good company or a steadying influence or whatever you want to call it.

I'm not saying don't do it (I don't know your kids, you do and from the rest of your replies in this thread you seem to feel strongly that this is the best possible solution) but I'm saying the difference in responsibility needs to be acknowledged. "Stay here, watch this, I'll be back" is a completely different kettle of fish than "stay here, watch this, your little brother would flip out if you weren't here to keep him company." That is de facto babysitting and I guarantee your older kid will experience it that way. I sure did.

Again I'm not saying she can't do it or you shouldn't ask it, I'm saying please do understand what you are really asking. Whatever the normal sibling dynamic is between them, it will function differently while you are gone (in a way that it doesn't when you are just down in the cellar.)
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  #43  
Old 07.02.2019, 10:52
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Re: Can I leave a 6 and 9 year old alone?

I see what you mean.

I would leave my son (the eldest) alone at home for 30 minutes without problem. I would feel guilty about longer, purely it sounds like a long time.

I would leave my daughter for max. 15 minutes alone. She is more "social" and wants to be around people, she doesn't really play alone in her room for more than about 30 minutes before she's looking for my son. My husband has left her alone for up to an hour and she was not happy when I came home, especially as he didn't answer his phone when she tried to call him.

We have actually done it before, at the beginning of the school year, and there was no problem. It was just someone commenting which made me question if I should let them again in the future.
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Old 07.02.2019, 11:01
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Re: Can I leave a 6 and 9 year old alone?

Depends on your children. When I was 6, my mother often left me alone at home. But I was responsible enough to not set the house on fire.
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Old 07.02.2019, 11:27
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Re: Can I leave a 6 and 9 year old alone?

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But I was responsible enough to not set the house on fire.
Statistically, I wasn't at 30.
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  #46  
Old 07.02.2019, 11:28
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Re: Can I leave a 6 and 9 year old alone?

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Yes, I do. They are proud to be left alone, especially when its more convenient for them.

Son doesn't have any friends.

I would 100% be able to find someone to take my daughter, but think that it would be too long for my son completely alone, whereas with daughter they would be ok.

I'm also 100% sure that in an emergency e.g. having to take daughter to hospital that one of her friends' parents would take son for me. But this isn't really an emergency so I don't want to ask!
Thank you for your replies. I got the whole picture after your clarifications, I thought the daughter is 9 so I couldn't really see the problem. (I rarely check people's posting history so I have to admit I didn't really understand your situation). But anyway, it doesn't matter what I would or wouldn't do if I were you. If you think they're both to be trusted for a short time alone, that should be fine. Maybe you can ask the neighbour check on them every 15 minutes or so, I agree it's a good idea. If not, as I mentioned previously, asking someone you know - like other parents or your friends - to take them for a short time is also habitually done here. Why feel like it's only in emergency cases when you can ask for help here. Most people like to help, it's not only "us".. I used to have the same problem - extreme (really) reluctance to ask for help, but then my friend told me I'm ridiculous for not asking and that I would annoy her much more by NOT asking. You know your environment and your kids better though, this was just my 2 cents. I'm sure you'll find a solution.
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Old 07.02.2019, 11:32
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Re: Can I leave a 6 and 9 year old alone?

Do you know anyone who has a large dog, such as an American bull terrier or suchlike? You could leave the dog with the children to ensure that they do not come to any harm, and the dog is sure to deter visitors by barking and hurling itself at the door.

Just trying to think outside the box with some solutions you may not have considered.
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  #48  
Old 07.02.2019, 11:37
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Re: Can I leave a 6 and 9 year old alone?

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Do you know anyone who has a large dog, such as an American bull terrier or suchlike? You could leave the dog with the children to ensure that they do not come to any harm, and the dog is sure to deter visitors by barking and hurling itself at the door.

Just trying to think outside the box with some solutions you may not have considered.

We don't have a dog but there are wolves in our area. Would it work if we would catch one so that it can protect the children?
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  #49  
Old 07.02.2019, 11:45
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Re: Can I leave a 6 and 9 year old alone?

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Do you know anyone who has a large dog, such as an American bull terrier or suchlike? You could leave the dog with the children to ensure that they do not come to any harm, and the dog is sure to deter visitors by barking and hurling itself at the door.

Just trying to think outside the box with some solutions you may not have considered.
A delightfully foul-mouthed parrot would have the advantage of ratting on errant children as well as deterring potential intruders in an expletive-laden monologue.

Plus you don't need to walk them.
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Old 07.02.2019, 14:13
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Re: Can I leave a 6 and 9 year old alone?

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With all due respect this is none of their business and I would be very surprised if they even asked. Even if they do ask the OP could perfectly well say that the children are at home under the care of the neighbour.
The schools arrange parent teacher meetings where children are not allowed to be present all the time and don’t concern themselves with the logistics of it. It is up to the parents to find childcare solutions.
Yes, you may well be right.

My point was that, from reading OP's other posts, it seems that the staff at this particular school and OP an her husband have been engaged in an ongoing battle for several years. Many accusations and reproaches have been made. In such circumstances, it is too often the case that someone on either side may seek out evidence of the other side's "failure". I would therefore hope that the parents wouldn't become potentially vulnerable to a further round if it, as I can't see that to be to the children's advantage.

My other point was about the public nature of the question. A little online research could probably reveal OP's whereabouts and that of her children and the unlocked door. I found that reckless. As Today Only posted, it made me think of Maddie McCann. However, OP later clarified that the door of the building will remain locked.
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  #51  
Old 07.02.2019, 15:02
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Re: Can I leave a 6 and 9 year old alone?

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Yes, you may well be right.

My point was that, from reading OP's other posts, it seems that the staff at this particular school and OP an her husband have been engaged in an ongoing battle for several years. Many accusations and reproaches have been made. In such circumstances, it is too often the case that someone on either side may seek out evidence of the other side's "failure". I would therefore hope that the parents wouldn't become potentially vulnerable to a further round if it, as I can't see that to be to the children's advantage.

My other point was about the public nature of the question. A little online research could probably reveal OP's whereabouts and that of her children and the unlocked door. I found that reckless. As Today Only posted, it made me think of Maddie McCann. However, OP later clarified that the door of the building will remain locked.
If I recall correctly, the main thrust of those earlier threads was that the teaching staff were distinctly hands-off and not very proactive anyway so I can't imagine them suddenly becoming interested in the OP's kids being left unattended for an hour when there's a fair to middling chance that the rest of the kids in that class are also left at home while their parents are at their parent/teacher appointments.
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  #52  
Old 07.02.2019, 15:07
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Re: Can I leave a 6 and 9 year old alone?

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My other point was about the public nature of the question. A little online research could probably reveal OP's whereabouts and that of her children and the unlocked door. I found that reckless. As Today Only posted, it made me think of Maddie McCann. However, OP later clarified that the door of the building will remain locked.
Sixteen years ago and still making headline news in the U.K.

Horrific though it was, it's still extremely rare. The family weren't even at home but on holiday.
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Old 07.02.2019, 15:25
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Re: Can I leave a 6 and 9 year old alone?

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Sixteen Almost twelve years ago and still making headline news in the U.K.
FTFY.

Tom
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Old 07.02.2019, 18:13
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Re: Can I leave a 6 and 9 year old alone?

Isn't it obvious that the OP has confirmation bias and just seems to be looking for opinions to fit her view?

I'm no expert, and this is just an opinion, but 6 (with some special needs?) seems young to be left alone.

Basically, if they come to harm... what are you going to think then, after the fact?
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Old 07.02.2019, 18:37
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Re: Can I leave a 6 and 9 year old alone?

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Isn't it obvious that the OP has confirmation bias and just seems to be looking for opinions to fit her view?
The way I see it it is a question of cultural differences. The Swiss don't see it as a problem - me included - there is always the off chance that something might happen but you will just have to live with that. Life is deadly. You need to trust your children. And you need to start at one point. You can do it or don't. This is not a nanny state so you won't be chailed if you do. Just go with your gut OP. And relax.
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Old 07.02.2019, 19:24
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Re: Can I leave a 6 and 9 year old alone?

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The way I see it it is a question of cultural differences. The Swiss don't see it as a problem - me included - there is always the off chance that something might happen but you will just have to live with that. Life is deadly. You need to trust your children. And you need to start at one point. You can do it or don't. This is not a nanny state so you won't be chailed if you do. Just go with your gut OP. And relax.
I think so. We had to do this since parents were on call for med emergencies. It taught me efficient labor division, how to cook and run the entire kitchen since wee years...and created a fab bond between us siblings. We helped eachother in all sorts of ways, with mischief and homework, advice, strange smelly sci experiments, house chores and we dj-ed weird and fun parents' records on our old gramophone. Fun times. Glad my parents had no choice and hellicopter parenting wasn't invented yet. I would ask neighbors to step in, if separation anxiety is a problem (for the parents). Kids do need some unsupervised time, too, sometimes. An hour seems ok to me.
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Old 07.02.2019, 19:32
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Re: Can I leave a 6 and 9 year old alone?

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The way I see it it is a question of cultural differences. The Swiss don't see it as a problem - me included - there is always the off chance that something might happen but you will just have to live with that. Life is deadly. You need to trust your children. And you need to start at one point. You can do it or don't. This is not a nanny state so you won't be chailed if you do. Just go with your gut OP. And relax.
I also walked to school and back without parents, 3km each way, at age 6 (although with a classmate or two), which is arguably more dangerous. I was never left alone at home though.... go figure.

But I did not read the whole thread, I just caught a hint above that the younger might have extra needs, and that seems like a potential red flag. And I stand by my comment, that the OP is seeking justification, rather than review.
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Old 07.02.2019, 19:39
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Re: Can I leave a 6 and 9 year old alone?

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But I did not read the whole thread, I just caught a hint above that the younger might have extra needs, and that seems like a potential red flag. And I stand by my comment, that the OP is seeking justification, rather than review.
The older child has the additional needs AFAIK.
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Old 07.02.2019, 20:18
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Re: Can I leave a 6 and 9 year old alone?

House near mine burnt a few weeks ago.
If you leave them alone (which I won't) make sure they don't turn on stoves or anything AND MOST IMPORTANTLY that they KNOW how to escape and CAN escape.
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Old 07.02.2019, 22:12
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Re: Can I leave a 6 and 9 year old alone?

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Son doesn't have any friends.
?

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I would leave my daughter for max. 15 minutes alone. She is more "social" and wants to be around people, she doesn't really play alone in her room for more than about 30 minutes before she's looking for my son. My husband has left her alone for up to an hour and she was not happy when I came home, especially as he didn't answer his phone when she tried to call him.
?

My first concern would be why doesn't a 9 year old have friends?

The second would be, why would a father not answer the phone when he knows his 6 year old is alone and calling him?



I do apologize dragoneiric, I do not wish to judge.
These questions do come to mind and the whole picture feels strange to me as a parent.

I reiterate my first suggestion. Get a nice kind babysitter. You would benefit from the peace of mind and your children would be supervised and will have fun while you are away.
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