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Old 27.02.2019, 21:26
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Toddler issue with toilet

My daughter is 3Y old, and we face the following situation:

Regardless if she wears an underwear or a nappy, she is running to hide whenever she feels a pressure in her stomach (but thats not a big issue...vs.)


The big problem is that instead of pushing it out and release, she tries to hold herself. Consequently, she is constipated for days with strong pain and suffer - and she seems to me like going into depressive mode...


I went already to two different pediatricians, who checked her and said that physically she is ok, and it will pass when she will grow up. Additionally, they recommended high fiber diet and drinking a lot.
She is on this diet already for few weeks, and certainly the outcome is softer.
However, the problem is not the hardness level... It is the fact that she tries to hold. Additionally, if I try to approach her to help during the act, she becomes hysteric.



My conclusion: I need a professional who can help on the emotional level. In other words, if someone can recommend a psychologist in the area of Zurich, who is specialized in children development, it will be highly appreciated.

I know there are such experts for sleeping problems at children, and wonder if there are experts who can support the above mentioned situation.


Thanks
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Old 27.02.2019, 21:36
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Re: Toddler issue with toilet

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I know there are such experts for sleeping problems at children.
Sorry for the off-topic Alinelo but now that you mentioned it - could you recommend any experts for sleeping problems please? Thanks.
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Old 27.02.2019, 22:52
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Re: Toddler issue with toilet

I think You're not really looking for a psychotherapy, but more for a child behaviour expert. (Tho a lot of specialists combine both functions in one practice)

The German word for this is Verhaltenstherapie

Can't recommend any since I just like you would have to google to find some.

Best of luck with solving this, sucks to see the little one in pain.
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Old 28.02.2019, 08:49
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Re: Toddler issue with toilet

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However, the problem is not the hardness level... It is the fact that she tries to hold. Additionally, if I try to approach her to help during the act, she becomes hysteric.

My conclusion: I need a professional who can help on the emotional level. In other words, if someone can recommend a psychologist in the area of Zurich, who is specialized in children development, it will be highly appreciated.
I'm not a medical professional, but I went through this exact phase when I was 6, and still remember it clearly. Luckily, your child is young enough to probably not remember this phase later in life.

The problem was initially caused by the hardness level. It's now being exacerbated by the pressure your child is being put under. I totally understand that you only what what is best and healthy for your child, but please don't repeat the mistakes my mother made.

My mother used to send me to the toilet immediately after dinner each night, and sit at the top of the stairs until I'd 'finished'. Little did she know that I'd hidden a block of colouring paper and a stash of brown felt tip pens in the bathroom, and would be furiously colouring in the paper and blotting the toilet paper with the pens to fool her. She resorted to laxatives, which was a horrendous episode because all control was taken away. Your daughter has sussed that going to the toilet is a private act. Ask her if she wants you to come with her, but be prepared for her to say no. Reassure her you are around if she needs to call for you, then leave her to it. Easier said than done but it is a phase and she will get through it in her own sweet time.

My turning point was when a young locum doctor was called out to me because of stomach pains. He explained that he was scared of dogs, but had to to be brave and come into my home and meet my dog so that he could help me, and that I must be brave to help myself and my mum to stop worrying so much.

What would be fantastic (to my mind), is if there was a child therapist who could make a home visit to talk to your child, as that would take away the stress of a formal environment.

Have you seen the Poopsie unicorn doll that poops glitter? Whilst I think it's a very peculiar toy, in hindsight, I wish it had been around when I was a kid. Also this video, whilst it's hilarious and incredibly naff, the message is right. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbYWhdLO43Q
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Old 28.02.2019, 08:58
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Re: Toddler issue with toilet

OP, just a thought....maybe giving your child more privacy when, you know, she's doing her stuff and not..ahem, take part into this act.....would help?

You'd think she's too little to have a need for privacy...heh, they're smart. What could have started as a strong opposition to something painful, it could have well turned into a strong opposition to your "supervision", "expectation" etc. Just a thought, don't mind me.
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Old 28.02.2019, 09:03
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Re: Toddler issue with toilet

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...and it will pass when she will grow up. ...
Hopefully long before.
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Old 28.02.2019, 09:22
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Re: Toddler issue with toilet

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My daughter is 3Y old, and we face the following situation:

Regardless if she wears an underwear or a nappy, she is running to hide whenever she feels a pressure in her stomach (but thats not a big issue...vs.)


The big problem is that instead of pushing it out and release, she tries to hold herself. Consequently, she is constipated for days with strong pain and suffer - and she seems to me like going into depressive mode...


I went already to two different pediatricians, who checked her and said that physically she is ok, and it will pass when she will grow up. Additionally, they recommended high fiber diet and drinking a lot.
She is on this diet already for few weeks, and certainly the outcome is softer.
However, the problem is not the hardness level... It is the fact that she tries to hold. Additionally, if I try to approach her to help during the act, she becomes hysteric.



My conclusion: I need a professional who can help on the emotional level. In other words, if someone can recommend a psychologist in the area of Zurich, who is specialized in children development, it will be highly appreciated.

I know there are such experts for sleeping problems at children, and wonder if there are experts who can support the above mentioned situation.


Thanks
We had the same problem with one of mine. She was afraid to go into the potty. After waiting for months for her to be persuaded to just let it go, one evening I gave her a Bulboid (gliserin suppository) after she ate (once you eat, bowels start moving) and sat her in the potty. Of course with the suppository, there was no way she could hold it in anymore... and voila! Once she did it, she saw it was nothing to worry about and the problem was solved.
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Old 28.02.2019, 10:21
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Re: Toddler issue with toilet

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Everyone_Poops

And I agree with giving her some privacy.
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Old 28.02.2019, 12:48
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Re: Toddler issue with toilet

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OP, just a thought....maybe giving your child more privacy when, you know, she's doing her stuff and not..ahem, take part into this act.....would help?
Or an issue of too much privacy. In the end with toddlers and kids it is still monkey sees, monkey does. If the parents only poop in private behind behind closed doors the child will not learn, through positive reinforcement, what a literal relief it can be.
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Old 28.02.2019, 13:01
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Re: Toddler issue with toilet

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Or an issue of too much privacy. In the end with toddlers and kids it is still monkey sees, monkey does. If the parents only poop in private behind behind closed doors the child will not learn, through positive reinforcement, what a literal relief it can be.
But keep spare rolls of paper, not the first time mine runs out laughing with a roll of toiletpaper.
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Old 28.02.2019, 13:21
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Re: Toddler issue with toilet

I was told ( by GP) that this is quite common as kids can feel as though they are literally losing part of themselves.

I agree that time, space, lots of praise is the way to go. And lots of fliud. Laxatives would be a bit mean. An old school approach is freshly squeezed orange juice and brown sugar (I know, I know). You can buy books to read together on this subject (Lulu's Loo is one we got, it's a bit interactive I think) and a sticker reward chart worked a treat in about a week. We also let her choose her own toilet seat that rests on the normal one. Make sure there's a step too so they feel safe.

Don't forget that even little ones like to be in control and the more stressed and anxious you get, the more stubborn and stressed they get.
Good luck.
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Old 28.02.2019, 14:48
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Re: Toddler issue with toilet

My kid had semi-similar episode. He was ashamed after 'it' was done, mostly because of smell. Resolution was actually quite simple, we switched (we as in - parents) into super optimistic mode. Literally every time we were cheering (not too much, there has to be balance) when 'it' was done, also saying 'between us' (as in me to my wife in the way that he heard but not directly to him to avoid embarrassment) how well he done it etc, overall we were uberpositive!
Change was gradual but it happened fairly quickly, and reached a point when he was honestly proud and sharing info with everybody that he 'done it' )
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Old 28.02.2019, 15:05
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Re: Toddler issue with toilet

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Sorry for the off-topic Alinelo but now that you mentioned it - could you recommend any experts for sleeping problems please? Thanks.
A friend recommended Dr. Hunkeler:

Please note that the sessions will be only in German...

I hope it helps
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Old 28.02.2019, 15:09
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Re: Toddler issue with toilet

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The German word for this is Verhaltenstherapie
Thanks EdwinNL, this is actually very helpful.

do you know perhaps if there is a term in German for "Toilet training" or "diapers ablactation"?
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Old 28.02.2019, 15:15
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Re: Toddler issue with toilet

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...Have you seen the Poopsie unicorn doll that poops glitter? Whilst I think it's a very peculiar toy, in hindsight, I wish it had been around when I was a kid. Also this video, whilst it's hilarious and incredibly naff, the message is right. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbYWhdLO43Q
Oh dear, some things can't be unseen.

Love the first comment though:
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I bought a squatty-potty. I LOVE it! BUT, I don't have rainbow poop like the ad says and am quite dissappointed. Please advise...
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Old 28.02.2019, 15:22
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Re: Toddler issue with toilet

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Thanks EdwinNL, this is actually very helpful.

do you know perhaps if there is a term in German for "Toilet training" or "diapers ablactation"?
I'd say Töpfchen training.

As for "diapers ablactation"

What do you mean? I fail to see a link between diapers and breastfeeding.
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Old 28.02.2019, 15:42
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Re: Toddler issue with toilet

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I'd say Töpfchen training.

As for "diapers ablactation"

What do you mean? I fail to see a link between diapers and breastfeeding.
It’s just a guess but I think breastmilk contains probiotics which naturally help the baby form an ‘optimal’ poo. Once you stop breast-feeding this might change the gut bacteria a bit which can upset the ummm... poo consistency/regularity.
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Old 28.02.2019, 17:50
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Re: Toddler issue with toilet

Breastfeeding a 3 year old?? :hmm...
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Old 18.04.2019, 08:10
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Re: Toddler issue with toilet

So, we are 2 months after my initial post, and still situation is the same unfortunately...
Yesterday, we went again to the pediatrician, and I told her that things are not working as expected.
She mentioned that "the way we (doctors) handle it" is by prescribing laxatives which the toddler will not be able to resist, and this will solve the issue.
She prescribed DulcoSoft Macrogel 4000 (x2 teaspoons a day). does anyone have experience with this one...?

Additionally, I insisted that she will refer us to a specialist (Gastroenterologist or Kids psychologist), so in case the laxative option does not work, we can proceed to the next step.

Still, she was quite positive that it will work. she said that our problem is not so big, in comparison to toddlers who do it purposely in their pants (e.g. to punish the parents etc.).
She also gave some stickers (sun/rain) to mark success each time it works. that made the day for my daughter
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Old 18.04.2019, 11:43
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Re: Toddler issue with toilet

I recommend a ‘poo-sticker’ poster with promise of new toy once it is full. As the problem is common many books exist to help with the matter for example this one. Good luck!
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