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  #61  
Old 09.07.2019, 07:05
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Re: Happy - are you?

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I'm not surprised, to be honest. For those of us whose problems largely fall into the category of FWP, we can always find things to be unhappy about. Also maybe it's more about varying degrees of contentment/satisfaction than happiness?
So to give you some help 3Wishes I won't post anymore on this thread but I will finally say that the once great forum is overun with bored, uninspriring bullies who can't seem to grasp that everyone can have their say. I wish you all get good jobs rather than lurk on here all day and jump on any poster who has a slightly different opinion to yours, some even going out of their way to troll posters when they move around on EF and get very personal. How sad you're lives turned out, happy? Not really I think, take a year off the forum why not (please)?
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Old 09.07.2019, 07:19
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Re: Happy - are you?

I'm pretty happy. Faith is a big cornerstone of that for me - low expectations are another. I don't expect myself to be able to keep a perfect house (or even a reasonably tidy house) with three perfect small kids and a great job and a perfect marriage - I expect there to be rough patches in all of the above, often in several areas at once - and so I'm able to accept those as part of life and do what I can to smooth them out again without feeling that Life is Going Off the Rails. We're just in a patch right now. Life is made up of patches.

Having said that, I have a house and three small kids and a job and a marriage. Take away any of those (ok maybe the job ) and I bet my happiness would take a hit. I don't think I've found The Formula for Happiness. What I think is I'm living a life that makes me pretty happy right now, and doing my best not to take that for granted.

--------------------

One thing that doesn't help in the way I thought it would is getting close to nature. I had a bookish-outdoorish childhood - we had a very scrubby, untended two-acre backyard and (over the years) a five-foot-long shelf of reference books on identifying birds, animals, trees, wildflowers, weather patterns, you name it. By the time I was in my late teens I knew that place. Knew everything that set foot on it or put down roots in it. And I took great satisfaction from that, a feeling of connectedness. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy walks in forest and farmland here, the views are great and the feeling of being in a forest is its own pleasure - but if I linger or look too close there's a piece of me that gets homesick rather than happy. What was that bird and where does it nest? Who knows, I don't. What are these weeds with the yellow flowers? are they edible? do they spread by seeds or runners or what? Search me. Back home I would have known. I feel more acutely foreign and not-at-home when I am alone in nature here than I have ever felt among strange people speaking strange languages.

I'm traveling back to the place where I grew up for a visit soon and I find myself struggling to explain to adult siblings and cousins that no, I do not want to go to the zoo or the amusement park or on a family roadtrip or anywhere else. I have some shopping I need to do and family I want to see, but for plain restorative recreation? I want to lie on my stomach and say hello again to the tiny blue carpetflowers that grow down in the grass. I want to watch bees working the alfalfa, hear birds I know, see cloud formations I understand.

I do think this is solvable in theory - pick a specific, accessible small patch of land here, buy the appropriate reference books (hey, Stage I is complete, my German is up to the task of reading reference books!), visit it at all seasons and re-establish that kind of intimate acquaintance. It'll take years though and right now I don't have the time to pour into it. And I feel a bit sad that my children won't grow up having it either. (They'll have the Alps.) (Are the Alps enough?)

By and large though, yes, quite happy.
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  #63  
Old 09.07.2019, 08:10
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Re: Happy - are you?

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So to give you some help 3Wishes I won't post anymore on this thread but I will finally say that the once great forum is overun with bored, uninspriring bullies who can't seem to grasp that everyone can have their say. I wish you all get good jobs rather than lurk on here all day and jump on any poster who has a slightly different opinion to yours, some even going out of their way to troll posters when they move around on EF and get very personal. How sad you're lives turned out, happy? Not really I think, take a year off the forum why not (please)?
Normally you would have had me on your side in an instant for expressing a slightly different (or more informed) view than those of some regulars here. (with the risk of being viciously attacked myself lol...did it numerous times on EF)

But honestly? You're arguing a very odd case. Depression, as in clinical depression, does exist. It's a disease. It's not an attitude or a life style. Sometimes it kills people (one case in my family). I can't stand people saying "you should just man up, change your life style and your outlook blah blah". It's demeaning for those people who were properly diagnosed with depression.
So you're in the wrong here, totally in the wrong. Maybe you did have a point on another occasions (I have no idea what you posted here tbh) but not now.
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  #64  
Old 09.07.2019, 08:16
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Re: Happy - are you?

Have you heard about the app WeCroak

https://hellogiggles.com/news/wecroa...minders-death/

It gets popular and I guess it's really at the right time for such apps. These days people are having wonderful lives but living in self-induced unhappiness, never ending desire to achive more, get more, be more, etc. Just stop this madness for a minute a day and enjoy what you have, where you are, just remember you are going to die anyway and statistically it can happen even tomorrow ;-)
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  #65  
Old 09.07.2019, 08:23
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Re: Happy - are you?

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Reduce symptoms - maybe. Not cure the disease. Nowhere near the same thing and no, eating broccoli doesn’t cure depression or bipolar disorder.
That’s because depression is in the majority of cases a condition that you have to live with, there is no out and out cure. Reducing symptoms is in this regard “the cure”. It’s whether people manage depression or if you let depression manage you which determines how well people cope with it.

It’s funny the comments aimed at Hausamsee only show the level of ignorance there is in relation to depression, and also confirm what I mentioned earlier in that depression has become very much a taboo subject to question. I don’t agree “that there is no such thing as depression”, however much of what Hausamsee said regarding how lifestyle can play a big role in managing depression is true and very much backed up by scientific study.
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  #66  
Old 09.07.2019, 09:29
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Re: Happy - are you?

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<snip>I don't drink, don't smoke, don't take drugs, don't eat processed food, don't overdo time on the internet and I'm completely well-balanced. As for my state of mind, I've never been happier, I sleep between 9pm and 6am minimum 8hrs a night. It's an amazing way to cure 'depression' ...

You don't sound at all balanced, looking on here to somehow gain some kind of value to yourself. Sad. Good luck.
Your chubby friend Nick, the Westminster paedophile whistle-blower, could benefit by following your life-enhancing ways...
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  #67  
Old 09.07.2019, 09:33
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Re: Happy - are you?

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I have actually been banned once, and for calling people out for what they are as always when they bully others, mostly newbies.

Actually 'Chuff' .. if you knew me (and not think you know me) I don't drink, don't smoke, don't take drugs, don't eat processed food, don't overdo time on the internet and I'm completely well-balanced. As for my state of mind, I've never been happier, I sleep between 9pm and 6am minimum 8hrs a night. It's an amazing way to cure 'depression' ...

You don't sound at all balanced, looking on here to somehow gain some kind of value to yourself. Sad. Good luck.
If you have to spend time and energy telling people you are well balanced, then you are likely not well balanced. It sounds like you are trying to convince yourself more than anyone else, because otherwise why would you be here trying to prove it? A happy and well balanced person simply doesn't waste their time and energy doing this on internet forums with random strangers. It reeks of insecurity.

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So to give you some help 3Wishes I won't post anymore on this thread but I will finally say that the once great forum is overun with bored, uninspriring bullies who can't seem to grasp that everyone can have their say. I wish you all get good jobs rather than lurk on here all day and jump on any poster who has a slightly different opinion to yours, some even going out of their way to troll posters when they move around on EF and get very personal. How sad you're lives turned out, happy? Not really I think, take a year off the forum why not (please)?


Same old spiel from you every time... you lose your rag, are unable to articulate yourself and resort to a slew of personal insults. The fact you seem to be deluding yourself into thinking this behaviour is "perfectly normal and well-balanced" speaks volumes.
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  #68  
Old 09.07.2019, 10:00
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Re: Happy - are you?

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Have you heard about the app WeCroak

https://hellogiggles.com/news/wecroa...minders-death/

It gets popular and I guess it's really at the right time for such apps. These days people are having wonderful lives but living in self-induced unhappiness, never ending desire to achive more, get more, be more, etc. Just stop this madness for a minute a day and enjoy what you have, where you are, just remember you are going to die anyway and statistically it can happen even tomorrow ;-)
This is excellent!

An instant pot of happiness.

Again, before the novelty wears off, though, affirmations (whether positive or through reversed psychology) most probably work only for the peeps who don't need them.

It is a gread idea, though.
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  #69  
Old 09.07.2019, 10:03
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Re: Happy - are you?

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So to give you some help 3Wishes I won't post anymore on this thread but I will finally say that the once great forum is overun with bored, uninspriring bullies who can't seem to grasp that everyone can have their say. I wish you all get good jobs rather than lurk on here all day and jump on any poster who has a slightly different opinion to yours, some even going out of their way to troll posters when they move around on EF and get very personal. How sad you're lives turned out, happy? Not really I think, take a year off the forum why not (please)?
So if you refuse to accept scientific facts, we're "bullies"? Yeah, that's how the world works.

This isn't a matter of opinion. Eating veggies or going for a walk do not CURE depression or any other mental disease, contrary to what you've been saying here. There's nothing to discuss about that. It's incorrect, ignorant, disrespectful, dangerous and EXACTLY why these diseases are still stigmatized.

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That’s because depression is in the majority of cases a condition that you have to live with, there is no out and out cure. Reducing symptoms is in this regard “the cure”. It’s whether people manage depression or if you let depression manage you which determines how well people cope with it.
No, reducing symptoms is not a cure. Reducing symptoms is just that. Homeopathy may reduce certain symptoms of whatever physical disease as well, whether real or imagined. Doesn't mean that's a smart way to go without also receiving proper treatment at the same time.

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It’s funny the comments aimed at Hausamsee only show the level of ignorance there is in relation to depression, and also confirm what I mentioned earlier in that depression has become very much a taboo subject to question. I don’t agree “that there is no such thing as depression”, however much of what Hausamsee said regarding how lifestyle can play a big role in managing depression is true and very much backed up by scientific study.
Depression is stigmatized while at the same time made light of. A very strange combination. But again, the problem about his/her statements are not the stupid eat-your-veggies-it'll-make-you-feel-better crap - fine, may work for some people, probably doesn't hurt either way - but it's that s/he claims a positive attitude and lifestyle choices ALONE cure mental illness, while also somehow disputing that mental illness exists in the first place unless there's a specific, tangible reason for everyone to see.
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  #70  
Old 09.07.2019, 10:41
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Re: Happy - are you?

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Some differences about "happy" are linguistic, too. Like an Englishman saying the day's perfect picnic had been "not bad", which could be misunderstood by other English speakers.
True, linguistic too. But also a different mentality in regards with what can be shared and what not - in some cultures you don't say "I'm happy" even if you are, it's probably easier to talk about a lot of related-to-happiness things (job, kids, marriage) than happiness itself - a moment when if asked directly people tend to get all philosophical and super-careful out of fear of seeming arrogant or insensitive or whatever. Once our physics teacher told my class something along the line of "Happiness? What's happiness? You're happy in the real sense of the word a few times for a few moments in your life time. You can be content, merry, whatever but happiness is not and cannot be a continuous, perpetual state". I didn't (fully) agree with her at that time, but it kind of stuck in my mind.
So maybe you should ask this question in a different way, doropfiz. To some of us it does look more like an "American thing" and I'm not saying that disrespectfully, trust me.

Last edited by greenmount; 09.07.2019 at 11:08.
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  #71  
Old 09.07.2019, 11:59
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Re: Happy - are you?

I'm a naturally happy person. It's the little every day things that matter to me, not any grand scheme. As a kid, my dance teacher gave me the part of Happy in Snow White and the Seven Dwarves and said it was typecasting. 😀

I wanted to post yesterday, but was enjoying one of my favourite things too much, a ferry trip in the Greek islands. That's 35 euros and 7 hrs worth of sheer bliss for me, sitting on the pool deck, wind in my hair, watching the sunset at sea. Heaven! Even my OH says, every time we catch a ferry, I'm grinning like a Cheshire cat for the entire trip.
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  #72  
Old 09.07.2019, 12:37
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Re: Happy - are you?

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Depression is stigmatized while at the same time made light of. A very strange combination. But again, the problem about his/her statements are not the stupid eat-your-veggies-it'll-make-you-feel-better crap - fine, may work for some people, probably doesn't hurt either way - but it's that s/he claims a positive attitude and lifestyle choices ALONE cure mental illness, while also somehow disputing that mental illness exists in the first place unless there's a specific, tangible reason for everyone to see.
You should look at some of the research carried out by Professor Richie Davidson, his research has strongly indicated that a positive attitude can “cure” mental illness.
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  #73  
Old 09.07.2019, 13:40
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Re: Happy - are you?

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You should look at some of the research carried out by Professor Richie Davidson, his research has strongly indicated that a positive attitude can “cure” mental illness.
You (or he, rather) make an excellent point from the neurology pov, although not sure about the "cure" aspect, personally. Glad he focused and researched the effects of meditation on attitude.
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Old 09.07.2019, 13:44
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Re: Happy - are you?

I keep reading this thread title with the voice of Yoda in my head.
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Old 09.07.2019, 15:25
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Re: Happy - are you?

I agree with Music chick about the happy industry.

We are and told and led to believe that we should be happy. To be happy we should have or be something. If were are not or do not have then we become depressed. Often people set their objectives too high.

In my opinion we need to look for peace of mind. Happiness then follows.

I am not happy every day and that is just fine.

Also depression is not a comfort zone. People often get stuck in their states of mind. Depression can be seen on brain maps and is indicated by a lower frequency left frontal.
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Old 09.07.2019, 16:54
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Re: Happy - are you?

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True, linguistic too. But also a different mentality in regards with what can be shared and what not - in some cultures you don't say "I'm happy" even if you are, it's probably easier to talk about a lot of related-to-happiness things (job, kids, marriage) than happiness itself - a moment when if asked directly people tend to get all philosophical and super-careful out of fear of seeming arrogant or insensitive or whatever. Once our physics teacher told my class something along the line of "Happiness? What's happiness? You're happy in the real sense of the word a few times for a few moments in your life time. You can be content, merry, whatever but happiness is not and cannot be a continuous, perpetual state". I didn't (fully) agree with her at that time, but it kind of stuck in my mind.
So maybe you should ask this question in a different way, doropfiz. To some of us it does look more like an "American thing" and I'm not saying that disrespectfully, trust me.
Methylenedioxymethamphetamine, or E's to normal people, make you happy. All this guff about "what is happiness" as is if its some ethereal being miss the point that its just brain activity, so if you can get a chemical that ignites that brain activity you've got a happiness drug.

It might not cure depression (though there is some trials on it curing various conditions as such), but for a few hours of out and out happiness, look no further than MDMA.
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Old 09.07.2019, 20:50
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Re: Happy - are you?

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You should look at some of the research carried out by Professor Richie Davidson, his research has strongly indicated that a positive attitude can “cure” mental illness.
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You (or he, rather) make an excellent point from the neurology pov, although not sure about the "cure" aspect, personally. Glad he focused and researched the effects of meditation on attitude.
I wasn't going to wade in but this... Researchers on Rhesus monkeys. Not sure how depressed the average monkey would be.

I'm mostly "happy" but I think content is a more helpful word for me. Doesn't stop my having a chemical imbalance though.
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Old 09.07.2019, 21:34
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Re: Happy - are you?

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Methylenedioxymethamphetamine, or E's to normal people, make you happy. All this guff about "what is happiness" as is if its some ethereal being miss the point that its just brain activity, so if you can get a chemical that ignites that brain activity you've got a happiness drug.

It might not cure depression (though there is some trials on it curing various conditions as such), but for a few hours of out and out happiness, look no further than MDMA.
I think people have different ways of measuring happiness and some even tend to classify it into degrees of contentment. Looking only at the grand scheme - crucial moments of one's life, great achievements etc. makes some redefine this concept in a different way than other people.
Others, like myself, who enjoy the little things and what they already have - family, friends, good health, a job, a home, travelling, reading, whatever don't use this term with stinginess, there's nothing exaggerated in my opinion to say you're happy. Ok, if you attribute this word a more profound meaning you can say you're content with your life.

I don't know, can a happiness drug help people with depression other than for a very short term? That's a very slippery slope and wouldn't encourage anyone personally.
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Old 09.07.2019, 21:38
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Re: Happy - are you?

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It might not cure depression (though there is some trials on it curing various conditions as such), but for a few hours of out and out happiness, look no further than MDMA.
If you - or anyone else here - have/has used MDMA, do you think/feel that it affected your general, overall capacity to feel happy not DURING the trip, but subsequently? Did your brain perhaps learn a pattern you could later recall/access, so you could feel good even when you were not using the drug?
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Old 09.07.2019, 22:23
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Re: Happy - are you?

I doubt this would be the reason for people to be taking exctasy for. Therapeutically speaking.

Last edited by MusicChick; 09.07.2019 at 22:36.
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