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-   -   Happy - are you? (https://www.englishforum.ch/family-matters-health/292911-happy-you.html)

doropfiz 07.07.2019 15:53

Happy - are you?
 
Are you happy?
What would make you happier?

Can you accept it if you yourself, or someone else is simply feeling down, with or without an obvious reason?
Do you try to put a smile on your face, or bring a smile to someone else’s face?
Can other people cheer you up when you feel down?

Do you have something to which you can cling (a belief system or an activity, relationship or object) even when you feel unhappy, and if so, does it help?

Do you believe that you have the option to choose to be happy, or is that fake?

Are your thoughts on this constant through your life, or do they change as you age, or change influenced by some other factor(s) than time?

I had a look at some of the writings of Australia's "Dr Happy", Tim Sharp. https://www.drhappy.com.au/

I read https://www.inc.com/laura-garnett/13...work-life.html and rather miss, in that list, the good feeling from getting a job well done, just that feeling for itself.

https://www.theladders.com/career-ad...ed-by-research I liked this as optimistic, yet it seemed do-able.

In particular, I’d like to hear whether thoughts about whether the answers to the above questions are different, for you,
  • living in Switzerland, from what they were while you previously lived in any other country, or
  • if you currently spend blocks of time in two (or more) countries, how being in one or in the other, and/or the shifting between them affects your happiness.

eairicbloodaxe 07.07.2019 19:21

Re: Happy - are you?
 
Happy is mist definitely a state of mind, Doropfiz.

But it is affected by emvironment and the people around you. I am more happy in the UK with the Lovely Wife and the cats, than I am here on my own in Switzerland. But I am not unhappy here, because I learnt in the past that being unhappy is... not good.

Yes, you can make your own happy. If you feel sad, force yourself to smile. In fact, force yourself to laugh. These allegedly release endorphins which bring about happiness. I can attest that it works.

I read once that the secret to happiness is found in having three things - and I do find it true.

Someone to love
Something to do
Something to look forward to

The someone to love does not have to be a significant other, it can be a pet, a child, even yourself. Something to do can be work, or it can be a menial task, such as tidying up, or a hobby like writing or painting or doing puzzles. Something to look forward to... well that is entirely up to you. Birthday? Family wedding? Holiday? Pub quiz... whatever.

Admittedly, I am currently unhappier than usual due to a 2 hour flight delay going from UK back to CH, but it could be worse. Nobody died. I have a beer. I am on EF...


Kind regards


Ian

Hausamsee 07.07.2019 22:02

Re: Happy - are you?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by doropfiz (Post 3081454)
Are you happy?
What would make you happier?

Can you accept it if you yourself, or someone else is simply feeling down, with or without an obvious reason?
Do you try to put a smile on your face, or bring a smile to someone else’s face?
Can other people cheer you up when you feel down?

Do you have something to which you can cling (a belief system or an activity, relationship or object) even when you feel unhappy, and if so, does it help?

Do you believe that you have the option to choose to be happy, or is that fake?

Are your thoughts on this constant through your life, or do they change as you age, or change influenced by some other factor(s) than time?

I had a look at some of the writings of Australia's "Dr Happy", Tim Sharp. https://www.drhappy.com.au/

I read https://www.inc.com/laura-garnett/13...work-life.html and rather miss, in that list, the good feeling from getting a job well done, just that feeling for itself.

https://www.theladders.com/career-ad...ed-by-research I liked this as optimistic, yet it seemed do-able.

In particular, I’d like to hear whether thoughts about whether the answers to the above questions are different, for you,
  • living in Switzerland, from what they were while you previously lived in any other country, or
  • if you currently spend blocks of time in two (or more) countries, how being in one or in the other, and/or the shifting between them affects your happiness.

No, I can't accept or accept someone else feeling down without a reason. I believe it is all about your health and wellbeing and if you take responsibility for yourself and live a healthy lifestyle there is no such thing as depression. Discipline is the key to health and happiness and following the trends of the modern world will always end badly for one's state of mind.

AbFab 07.07.2019 23:29

Re: Happy - are you?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Hausamsee (Post 3081510)
No, I can't accept or accept someone else feeling down without a reason. I believe it is all about your health and wellbeing and if you take responsibility for yourself and live a healthy lifestyle there is no such thing as depression. Discipline is the key to health and happiness and following the trends of the modern world will always end badly for one's state of mind.

This is total bollox.

I just hope that you never experience the illness of depression - or any of the myriad of mental problems millions suffer from...

marton 08.07.2019 00:17

Re: Happy - are you?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by doropfiz (Post 3081454)
Are you happy?
What would make you happier?

Can you accept it if you yourself, or someone else is simply feeling down, with or without an obvious reason?
Do you try to put a smile on your face, or bring a smile to someone else’s face?
Can other people cheer you up when you feel down?

Do you have something to which you can cling (a belief system or an activity, relationship or object) even when you feel unhappy, and if so, does it help?

Do you believe that you have the option to choose to be happy, or is that fake?

Are your thoughts on this constant through your life, or do they change as you age, or change influenced by some other factor(s) than time?

I had a look at some of the writings of Australia's "Dr Happy", Tim Sharp. https://www.drhappy.com.au/

I read https://www.inc.com/laura-garnett/13...work-life.html and rather miss, in that list, the good feeling from getting a job well done, just that feeling for itself.

https://www.theladders.com/career-ad...ed-by-research I liked this as optimistic, yet it seemed do-able.

In particular, I’d like to hear whether thoughts about whether the answers to the above questions are different, for you,
  • living in Switzerland, from what they were while you previously lived in any other country, or
  • if you currently spend blocks of time in two (or more) countries, how being in one or in the other, and/or the shifting between them affects your happiness.

Analysing what makes you happy or not can lead you into a spiral of negative feedback and depression which is hard to escape from.

Myself I tend to live in my world and so I ignore any negative external pressures or inputs. So long as I have a glass of wine, a good cigar and internet access I am happy and it is irrelevant what country I am in.

I know people who suffer from depression or similar mental problems who have very difficult lives; luckily so far I never suffered from anything like that.

Jim2007 08.07.2019 00:35

Re: Happy - are you?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Hausamsee (Post 3081510)
No, I can't accept or accept someone else feeling down without a reason. I believe it is all about your health and wellbeing and if you take responsibility for yourself and live a healthy lifestyle there is no such thing as depression. Discipline is the key to health and happiness and following the trends of the modern world will always end badly for one's state of mind.

Absolutely clueless is the only thing that comes to mind. Hopefully you are young and will learn in time, otherwise... well.... sad is the only thing that comes to mind...

Chuff 08.07.2019 07:45

Re: Happy - are you?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Hausamsee (Post 3081510)
there is no such thing as depression.

Every time you post about anything health-related it only re-enforces my opinion that you are the ultimate quack and wilfully ignore anything even remotely scientific.

I guess it's fine and your right as long as you don't go around influencing and thus posing a danger to others.

Guest 08.07.2019 08:00

Re: Happy - are you?
 
I tend to be more in the Jordan Peterson school of tonight in that the pursuit of happiness is a pointless goal.

MusicChick 08.07.2019 08:02

Re: Happy - are you?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by marton (Post 3081519)
Analysing what makes you happy or not can lead you into a spiral of negative feedback and depression which is hard to escape from.

Myself I tend to live in my world and so I ignore any negative external pressures or inputs. So long as I have a glass of wine, a good cigar and internet access..

You do mean the Trump thread, right? :D

https://sayingimages.com/wp-content/...happy-meme.jpg

EF - at your happy service, since 2005

MusicChick 08.07.2019 08:10

Re: Happy - are you?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Loz1983 (Post 3081524)
I tend to be more in the Jordan Peterson school of tonight in that the pursuit of happiness is a pointless goal.

I really agree with him on a lot of stuff, relying on external conditions without taking personal responsibility can backfire. Usually does. On the other hand, god is one big concept of external condition and Peterson is all about faith. This is one of the issues where Peterson and I disagree. There are a lot of external and internal factors that are impossible to influence, working with our own attitudes to them usually effects our level of happiness. For some people. Knowing oneself helps with acceptance and feeling happy and fullfilled, genuine.

I think "happy industry" is a big business, too.

Gratitude is mother of happiness. I'll open a gratitude thread for those who want to practice it. <3

Samaire13 08.07.2019 09:02

Re: Happy - are you?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Hausamsee (Post 3081510)
No, I can't accept or accept someone else feeling down without a reason. I believe it is all about your health and wellbeing and if you take responsibility for yourself and live a healthy lifestyle there is no such thing as depression. Discipline is the key to health and happiness and following the trends of the modern world will always end badly for one's state of mind.

Oh jeez. You’re probably one of those who would tell someone who’s suffering from depression to just “go for a nice long walk to clear their head”

greenmount 08.07.2019 09:08

Re: Happy - are you?
 
@Hausamsee, with all respect, your views on depression are from the late 19th - mid. 20th century. In the meantime, a lot of things in regards with mental health have been discovered. I think you should trust science more and share your personal views in a more familiar environment, otherwise you risk as coming across as ignorant or insensitive.

While changing your attitude to various external and internal factors can make a difference in your overall psychological and physical state, we should not dismiss depression as some sort of imaginary disease. (there might be many health fads, but this one it isn't)

Guest 08.07.2019 09:27

Re: Happy - are you?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by greenmount (Post 3081538)
@Hausamsee, with all respect, your views on depression are from the late 19th - mid. 20th century. In the meantime, a lot of things in regards with mental health have been discovered.

Yes, namely that you’re not allowed to question anyone who claims that they suffer from depression.

Sandgrounder 08.07.2019 09:31

Re: Happy - are you?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Loz1983 (Post 3081542)
Yes, namely that you’re not allowed to question anyone who claims that they suffer from depression.

"Claims they have depression" or "is diagnosed as suffering from depression and under treatment"?

What do you mean by "question them"? Ask them if they want a cup of tea or just be a nosey sod who can't mind their own business? :msnsarcastic:

Guest 08.07.2019 09:34

Re: Happy - are you?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sandgrounder (Post 3081544)
"Says they have depression" or "is diagnosed as suffering from depression and under treatment"?

Both, getting diagnosed with depression or “burn out” is easy. GP’s are all too willing to sign people off sick with either.

I’m not saying that depression isn’t real, however it is a condition that many take advantage of.

Sandgrounder 08.07.2019 09:37

Re: Happy - are you?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Loz1983 (Post 3081546)
Both, getting diagnosed with depression or “burn out” is easy. GP’s are all too willing to sign people off sick with either.

I’m not saying that depression isn’t real, however it is a condition that many take advantage of.

...in your opinion.

MusicChick 08.07.2019 09:55

Re: Happy - are you?
 
Let's agree on the fact that posters represent their opinions.

I do not see any high public risk in an opportunity to speak out. :)

It makes people happy to be heard.

greenmount 08.07.2019 10:24

Re: Happy - are you?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Loz1983 (Post 3081546)
Both, getting diagnosed with depression or “burn out” is easy. GP’s are all too willing to sign people off sick with either.

I’m not saying that depression isn’t real, however it is a condition that many take advantage of.

I'm not so sure that GPs are too willing to sign people off sick, that also means prescribing meds and I honestly don't see many doctors willing to take that risk.

I also don't have any info on your second statement either. You can equally say that people fake schizophrenia or whatever other mental illness. Do we really want to go down that path?

NoToM 08.07.2019 10:26

Re: Happy - are you?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by doropfiz (Post 3081454)
Are you happy?

Sometimes yes, sometimes not. It also depends what happy exactly means.
Happy on a level like, when i got my first child or buy a house or get married, very rare i think. My target is not to be constant happy, my target is to be balanced and have a certain level of contentment in my life.

I heard, this constant chase for happiness is more of a thing in the U.S. than here.

Quote:

Originally Posted by doropfiz (Post 3081454)
What would make you happier?

Maybe more free time for me and my family


Quote:

Originally Posted by doropfiz (Post 3081454)
Can you accept it if you yourself, or someone else is simply feeling down, with or without an obvious reason?

Sure, i think it is just normal to feel down from time to time. Everybody has up and downs, life can be harsh. But of course it can be a problem when it gets a permanent state of mind


Quote:

Originally Posted by doropfiz (Post 3081454)
Do you try to put a smile on your face, or bring a smile to someone else’s face?

Sure


Quote:

Originally Posted by doropfiz (Post 3081454)
Can other people cheer you up when you feel down?

Some of them, yes


Quote:

Originally Posted by doropfiz (Post 3081454)
Do you have something to which you can cling (a belief system or an activity, relationship or object) even when you feel unhappy, and if so, does it help?

My wife and kids mainly, also hiking, a good game, good food...several things.


Quote:

Originally Posted by doropfiz (Post 3081454)
Do you believe that you have the option to choose to be happy, or is that fake?

I don't know if it possible to train you brain to produce constant endorphins.
But i think you can learn to see things from different sides and think in relative terms so maybe a supposedly big issue are not really as big as you think.

Samaire13 08.07.2019 10:35

Re: Happy - are you?
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Loz1983 (Post 3081546)
Both, getting diagnosed with depression or “burn out” is easy. GP’s are all too willing to sign people off sick with either.

I’m not saying that depression isn’t real, however it is a condition that many take advantage of.

Agree and I've seen it happen many times. It drives me up the wall. As in is one of the few things where I lose it and literally want to scream at each and everyone of these faker.

Why? Because I've also seen the other side. People suffering from actual depression or bipolar disorder, sometimes for long periods of time, sometimes being hit with a depressive episode out of nowhere. I've seen people in my immediate circle of friends try to commit suicide and others who've actually 'succeeded' at it (if you want to call it that).

However, to assume by default that depression "can't be real if there's no actual reason" (as Hausamsee did) is the same as saying paraplegics are just all fakes. Who's to qualify what a "valid reason" for depression is? Yes. Exactly. No one.

Quote:

Originally Posted by greenmount
I'm not so sure that GPs are too willing to sign people off sick, that also means prescribing meds and I honestly don't see many doctors willing to take that risk.

greenmount yes, they are and they do. No they don't fake schizophrenia. But how difficult to you think it is to fake a burnout (which is at least linked to depression)? Throw in some clichés, say you haven't slept for a while, maybe cry a bit - done. Buys you at the very least a couple of months, sometimes more. No one with ACTUAL depression would ever dare to do that, but that's the whole point. Yes, as awful as it is, it is that easy. Go to your doctor's who you've been going to for decades, he will give you a certificate.

And that is exactly why a lot of other mechanisms are in place to disclose fakers. And why people start to doubt those that are actually suffering. It's sickening.


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